Chapter 34
I love watching Julien in his element out on the soccer pitch.
He is a maestro with the ball. How his feet move fluidly and so quickly as he taps the ball between them to keep it moving in a smooth path down the field.
Or the strength of his kick when he sends the ball flying into the opponent’s net like he’s about to do.
I can see the muscles in his legs contort and bunch when he swings his right leg back and propels it forward in a side arc.
The ball flies at a clipped speed toward the goalie of Raleigh High, and like magic, it swoops wide in a curve and sails over the goalie’s hands as he leaps sideways to stop it.
Meredith, Trevor, Hailey, Elijah, and I simultaneously jump out of our seats to scream our celebratory words and shout Julien’s name.
Of course, I’m the loudest. Julien looks over at us as he jogs backwards down the field, a huge grin on his face.
He thumps his chest at his heart with a fist and points to us.
“God, can you even imagine watching him play at college?” I say as we all sit back down. I’m going to make it my mission to go watch every single home game at CU that he plays.
Seeing Julien on the soccer pitch has me thinking about the baby.
I wonder which traits he or she will pick up.
Will they like soccer or swimming like Julien or Jayson?
Fast cars or music or creative writing like Ryder, me, or Hailey?
Or maybe they will blaze their own path in life, do something unique that is their own.
“Speaking of college,” Elijah comments. I look at him expectantly.
He’s been on the fence about his various scholarship offers. Elijah is so freaking smart and so hard-working. It didn’t surprise any of us that he already received acceptance letters from a few Ivy League universities.
Trevor groans. “Don’t mention college. Mom had me and Mer working on application essays all freaking weekend.”
“And why does each application require us to write an essay?” Meredith adds her complaint with her brother’s.
“Can’t there be like a universal writing prompt or something?
It’s so not fair that I had to write a completely new essay for every college I wanted to apply to.
I felt like I was having to pen a Pulitzer Prize winning article just to apply to a state college! ”
I offer her some of my strawberry licorice straws and she gladly pulls two out and shoves the tops of them into her mouth and lets them dangle like she has a very long, forked tongue.
“Please continue,” I tell Elijah when a flash of red hair catches my eye.
I wave at Beth who is sitting four rows down from us on the bleachers.
She’s with Celeste and a couple of girls from the cheer squad.
I know Beth saw me because she had her head turned and looked right at me.
I don’t have any classes with her this year, so lunch period is usually the time we catch up.
But she and Keith have been absent all week from our group.
I also remember that on Monday, she ignored me in the hallway.
Something is up and I have a very bad feeling I know exactly what it is.
Elijah snatches a licorice from me and waggles it around in front of my face. “I officially accepted Stanford’s offer. Signed, sealed, and delivered as of yesterday,” he says.
“What?” I practically screech. “Does Julien know?”
“Telling him tonight.”
I throw my arms around Elijah’s neck and hug him.
“Congrats, man,” Trevor tells him, and they do an elbow bump.
Meredith, who is on my right side, leans over me so she can see past me and Elijah to her brother. “Why don’t we consider CU? Everybody we’re friends with are going.” She waves a hand at me.
“Um, I’m actually not going. I’m staying here,” I mumble in such a low voice, but Meredith hears me and only because she’s literally right on top of me, stretched halfway across my lap.
There’s one thing to know about Meredith. She’s loud, opinionated, and…loud. So having her whip back and stare at me mutely is not like her at all.
Someone starts the wave, which is kind of dumb as there are only two stands of bleachers next to the soccer field. When it gets to us, everyone but Meredith stands up with their arms in the air before sitting back down.
“Why aren’t you going?”
“Going where?” Trevor asks.
The small crowd in attendance erupts in cheers as Nate, the other co-captain of the team with Julien, scores a goal. Fallen Brook is now up, two-zero.
“Elizabeth isn’t going to college,” she accuses with pursed lips.
“What?” Both Trevor and Elijah say at the same time. I guess Julien didn’t tell Elijah.
“Is it because of…” She points to my stomach.
My phone alerts me that a text arrived, and I send up a silent, yet very grateful, thank you for the interruption.
It’s Jayson telling me they’re about to start the swim meet.
I hand Meredith my bag of red twizzlies and get up.
“I’ll answer that question when I get back.
I promised Jayson that I would come watch him for a while.
I’ll be back in thirty,” I tell everyone.
I told the twins I would coordinate efforts so I could watch both Julien’s soccer game and Jayson’s swim meet. I signal Julien when he looks up at the stands. He gives me a nod and I blow him a kiss, which he pretends to catch.
Meredith offers the candy to Elijah. “I’ll come with you. A chance to see guys in tiny swim underwear and no shirts. Yum.”
Trevor facepalms and shakes his head. “Swear to God, sis. How I survived in the womb with you,” he laments, but not seriously.
The afternoon is warm for a January this time of year.
Mid-forties with the palest blue sky overhead.
The sun has a faint halo around it, indicating ice crystals in the upper atmosphere.
That usually means bad weather is coming if you believe old wives’ tales or the farmer’s almanac.
Yes, those still exist which is crazy because I remember learning about Benjamin Franklin’s Poor Richard’s Almanack, and it was published in 1732.
Meredith loops her arm through mine as we walk toward the parking lot from the field to get to the school’s gymnasium.
The indoor pools are located on the other side of the gym in their own separate building.
But you can’t access it because the side exit doors remain locked at all times and can only be pushed open from the inside if there’s an emergency.
The outdoor pools are still covered for the winter and not in use.
“Has Beth been acting weird to you?” I ask Meredith. She and Beth are both in AP U.S. History together.
“Not to me. Why?”
“I feel like she’s avoiding me.”
“Have you talked to her about it?”
I shake my head. “I haven’t seen her all week to talk to her. By the way, when is Darrel getting back?” I ask, changing subjects. We go through the gates and walk along the sidewalk parallel to the parking lot.
Darrel had a robotics competition after school. It was taking place in Cary, a town southeast of us about an hour away.
“I think he said they would stop off for dinner on the way back, so maybe nine-ish.” She tugs on my arm to slow down our walking pace to a meandering crawl. “Hey, I really want the truth. No sugar honey iced tea-ing me.”
Mer started using mnemonic devices for curse words after she watched that Nicolas Cage show on Netflix about the origins of bad words. If you take the first letters of what she said, you’d see that she just told me not to s-h-i-t her around.
An eddy of wind whips our hair across our faces in a whirl.
The short bob she had been rocking at the beginning of the school year is now shoulder length.
Taking a page from me, she dyed purple streaks throughout her dark hair, and I love them because they make her look like a kick-butt little fairy rocker chick.
“Truth about what?” I reply.
“About how you are really doing. About what you just said about college. About your break-up with Ryder. Shall I go on?”
I sigh. Yesterday was tough seeing Ryder.
But he needs us. He may act like he doesn’t.
I’ve known that boy most of my life. Jayson reacts first and thinks later.
Julien is the glass-half-full person. But Ryder is the martyr of our group.
He will sacrifice everything for us. There’s a saying.
One I thought a lot about last night when I couldn’t sleep.
Sometimes love just isn’t enough. Is that what’s happening with me and Ryder now? Because that’s what it feels like.
A flurry of loud snickers floats through the air across the parking lot.
“Is that Maria and Samantha?” Mer holds up her hand to shield her eyes from the late afternoon sun.
Several people are scurrying away at a fast clip and running into the school building, loudly giggling and hooting.
I’m about to shrug it off, because we’ll be late getting to Jayson’s meet, and we need to hurry up.
But then I see Jacinda and something inside of me turns sour. Because she’s standing next to my car.
I pull away from Meredith and hurry over. And my stomach drops.
“What the hell did you do?” I yell at her, and she jumps. I guess she didn’t hear me approaching.
“I didn’t do it!” she yells back.
“Oh my God.” Meredith’s hands go to her mouth, covering it.
Jacinda backs away from me. “I swear I didn’t do this. I was coming out of school and saw—”
“Shut up!” I shout, my hands fisting my hair at the sight of what has been done to my Hellcat. I tug at a pacifier, and it doesn’t budge.
They superglued baby pacifiers all over my freaking car. I walk around to see if there is any other damage. The words slut and whore are sprayed painted in black across the hood and windshield.
Anger propels me forward and I push Jacinda, hard. She stumbles back a couple of steps but doesn’t fall down.
“Why would you do this? What did I ever do to you for you to be so mean to me?” I’m on a screaming rampage because if I don’t scream, I’m going to cry, and I am so sick and tired of crying.
I push her again. “You used to tease me in elementary school.” Another push. “You tried to sleep with Jayson.” I shove her again. “You kissed Ryder.” Shove. “You picked on my sister.” I rear back a fist, determined to knock her lights out, but Meredith jumps up and grabs my arm.
“Elizabeth, stop.”
I can’t seem to catch my breath, I’m so furious. My Hellcat was the one thing I had that connected me to Ryder when I lost my memory.
Meredith glares angrily at Jacinda, but I can’t look at her anymore.
I turn around and stare blankly at the state of my car.
I try to pull off several more pacifiers, but they are definitely cemented in place.
Christ almighty, the driver’s side has been keyed, and my tires have been slashed.
I won’t be able to drive it home. The damage will probably be in the thousands of dollars to repair.
“If you’re lying, I’m going to kick your ass myself,” Meredith threatens Jacinda.
I blank out the argument between the two of them and call Mr. Cutton to see if he can send a tow truck for my car. He said it would be here in thirty. Then I call Fallon.
“Kitten?”
“I need your help, Fallon.”
Serious déjà vu.