2. Chapter 2 #2
Zach winces before shaking his head. “Have my fans ever given me flowers?”
“I don’t know, but you did mention that Jenni girl was getting a little clingy.”
“Jenni’s gone,” he says forcefully.
I nod quickly, and raise my hands. “You're right. You're right. Sorry. I didn’t mean to-”
“But I think they’re for you,” Zach interrupts my rambling.
I gulp before saying, “and what makes you think that?”
He reaches into his pocket and hands me a light pink envelope. “This was stuck on the door. Someone clearly wanted you to have it. I nearly ripped it just pulling it out of the window frame.
I stare at the envelope and all the color drains from my face.
Tiff
The cursive handwriting is unfamiliar but unmistakably written by a man who grew up privileged.
Shit. I look at Zach wondering if he recognizes it.
Thankfully, I think he’s too busy sniffing the flowers to notice how shaken I am, so I take the envelope and stuff it in my pocket.
“Ah, it's probably the guy that mows next door's lawn.” I swallow down the shame before coughing. Way to make it obvious I'm hiding something. “He told me he'd send through a quote.”
“It's awfully glittery for a guy named Gary.”
I can feel his intense focus on me, but I pretend not to notice.
“Guess he likes a little sparkle in his life.”
“Mhm.”
That hum alone is enough to draw my attention back to him, which makes him smirk. “Is there something you're not telling me, Tiff?”
My eyes widen.
“Uh.”
“Because I think we both know who that letter is really from.”
“W-we do?”
My heart pounds as I stare at my cousin who’s smirking at me. He knows. Obviously, he knows. Keeping something like that from Zach just isn’t possible.
“It's a prince!” Ella pipes up. Thank you, baby, for giving me a second to think. “Mommy has a prince trying to reach her.”
More like a villain.
I let out a humorless laugh. “Believe me. No prince is out there looking for me unless he has unresolved mommy issues.”
“I'll make sure to tell Reese not to call himself Prince anymore.”
“Is Reese coming over to play?” Ella squeals happily.
Clearing my throat I say, “Reese?”
Are we really going to talk about this again?
Zach’s face is even smugger now that he’s taken in my reaction. “Yeah. He asked me for my blessing the other day in asking you out. Said he was doing it properly this time.”
“What?”
This is too much to process for me right now. Jamie, flowers, envelopes. Putting Reese in the middle of this is just confusing my brain to the point that it feels like it's going to explode.
“I told him he doesn't need permission from me. Ella on the other hand...” he glances over at my daughter, who's collecting all of her dolls for the non-existent playdate she's about to have with Reese.
Zach leans in. “Think he's already got her approval.”
“Of course he does. Ella's best friend is his niece.”
“And that's exactly why I don't get why you're hesitating. You hang out every time he's babysitting Maya and get along so well. I think you should at least see if there's anything there when the kids aren't.”
Wide eyed, I tilt my head to my little girl. “I don’t have time to date.”
“Not having time, and exiling yourself are two different things, T. You just choose to live in a life which revolves around your daughter, and I respect that, but as your best friend and cousin, I need to make sure you're happy too. You're not running anymore.”
That's what he thinks.
“You can make time now. I can babysit. I bet Honey could too if you asked her.”
How does he always manage to get her name in every conversation? They haven't been together in over a year, and he still can't stop talking about her.
“I'm not ready for something like that.”
He looks over at Ella, who’s happily playing with her toys and gestures me out of the room.
“I do respect your decision, Tiff. You’re by far the best mom out there, but you’re forgetting that I knew you before you became a mom. I went to school with you before I transferred out to South Point Prep.”
Before… before I made that one decision in my life that changed everything.
“You had so many hobbies before Ella. Now, all we talk about are endless lawsuits and the activities you want to get Ella involved in. You don’t buy yourself new clothes.
You hardly have time to brush your hair, and I’m not faulting you for it.
Like I said, you’re an incredible mom, but sometimes, when I see you zoned out on the couch, I feel like you’ve lost yourself a little bit.
” He speaks quietly, and I’m not sure if it’s because he doesn’t want Ella to hear, or if he thinks saying it softly will make the blow hurt less.
“You try keeping the spark when you’re being woken up at five am by a toddler.”
Yeah, I push back a little, but I can’t deny everything he’s said rings true.
“And I do have hobbies.”
He tilts his head. “Like what?”
The silence is answer enough.
“You used to dance,” he continues. “Used to know the choreography to every Baily Hill hit released. The routines you created for the cheer squad were elite.”
I shrug, feeling utterly deflated. A pep talk from Zach was not what I needed after an encounter with Jamie. “I still do stuff.”
“When?” Zach softens. “You don’t want to put Ella in daycare, and when she’s asleep, all you do is work toward your GED. I admire your ambition, but I still think you need to make time for yourself, otherwise you’re going to end up angry and bitter like me.”
“You’re not angry and bitter.”
“Don’t try to make me feel better about myself, Tiff.
I have enough self-awareness to know I haven’t been on my game since the love of my life decided to take a break from me.
As if that’s even possible on a campus like this.
Does she know how hard it is to pretend I haven’t memorized her schedule? ”
I nod, letting him rant for a second. Zach’s frustration about his situation comes out in waves, and I’m the only person he can talk to about it, so I let him.
“But Honey’s reluctance is not the point right now.
The point is that there are tons of evening classes at St. Michael’s.
Dancing, pottery, writing. You could learn anything you could ever want.
You won’t need to worry about Ella because I can stay with her while she sleeps.
Hell, I bet even Honey would come here and help out if it meant you got a break. ”
I swallow down the feeling of inadequacy and give him a nod.
Zach’s hand rests on my shoulder. “I’m not trying to be mean. I just want you to go out and act like a twenty-year-old once and a while. You deserve it.”
What I deserve? What I deserve is for my baby daddy to leave me the hell alone. But that’s not going to happen any time soon.
“I’ll think about it,” I say, more to placate Zach than anything and then head back to Ella who’s now sitting next to the pink flowers, studying them. “Would you like those in your room for your nap?”
She nods while stroking a petal.
Picking her and the flowers up, I mumble a short ‘see you later,’ to Zach as I head back to her room and my mom duties.
When Ella’s asleep, I slip out of her room and head to mine, passing Zach who’s now on the phone with his best friend, Mike. He’s talking about Honey again.
I duck into my room to give him some privacy and when I’m inside, I pull out the pink envelope from my pocket before taking a seat at my desk. My elbows knock the stack of legal papers, reminding me that even though I’m here, I’m not necessarily out of the woods.
My thumb grazes over the soft edge of the paper, following the line of his writing.
“Jamie,” I whisper, still in disbelief. “What the hell are you doing here?” I ask it as though the answer won’t be in the letter.
I should open it, but I can’t.
I can’t face the reality that’s about to hit, so instead, I tuck the envelope under my laptop and leave it there.
“There. Now it doesn’t exist,” I whisper before moving away from it.
If I don’t read it, maybe nothing will come to pass. Maybe Jamie will leave and I’ll never have to deal with him again.
Apparently, delusion runs in the family.