18. Chapter 18
Nerves rack through my body as I take in the couples next to me dancing. They’re spinning and dipping in perfect time while Reese tries to guide me through the easiest steps. My heels are killing me, my hands are sweating so much that I wonder what Reese must be thinking.
“See? You’re a natural,” Reese says, grinning as I manage not to step on his foot for the third time in a row. No, instead, I just roll my own ankle and attempt not to show the pain.
A natural.
Maybe when I was younger, but these moves are a lot more intricate than the ones I practiced in the cheer squad.
He spins me out, and then back in. By some miracle, I don’t embarrass myself, and when I’m up against Reese’s chest, I smile. I might be terrible, but I have to admit, it feels good being out for once.
When the song ends, his hand finds the small of my back, and he leads me to a free table. My feet thank me when I take a seat. Reese heads over to the water table and grabs us a couple of bottles before handing me one.
“A few more weeks of this, and I think we’ll be able to enter our first competition,” he says with a wink.
“Oh, please. Is it not enough to embarrass ourselves in front of all these people? You want to do it and get scored for it?” I take a sip of my water as Reese laughs.
“Well, it’d be a good excuse to get you out of the house more. You seem…lighter.”
The observation catches me off guard. “Lighter?”
“Yeah. Like you're not carrying quite as much on your shoulders.” He pauses, his expression turning more thoughtful. “You deserve that, Tiff. To have things that are just for you.”
“Thanks.”
My stomach knots a little as I take him in. Reese has been nothing but kind to me, and he’s right. This should be exactly what I need. A handsome man, a fun activity, a chance to be someone other than Ella's mom or the girl drowning in legal paperwork.
So why does it feel like this is wrong?
“You okay?” he asks.
“Yeah, I just—” I twist the water bottle in my hands. “I just really need to tell you something.”
His expression shifts. “Is it about Jamie?”
I freeze. “How did you—”
“Zach filled me in.” Reese's tone is gentle, not accusatory. “After I told him I was taking you tonight. He just wanted to give me a heads-up that Ella's biological father is in the picture now.”
That knot in my stomach tightens, and shame floods through me.
I should have told him. I shouldn’t even be here right now when I have so many thoughts running through my head. Why did I let this get so far? “Reese, I’m so sorry. I wanted to tell you myself. I—I didn’t mean to lead you on.”
“Hey.” He touches my arm lightly, stopping my rambling thoughts. “It's okay. I get it. It’s… a complicated situation.”
“It is,” I admit quietly. “More complicated than I ever expected it to be.”
Reese eases back in his chair, and quietly asks, “Do you have feelings for him?”
The question should be easy to answer. I should be able to say no immediately, to reassure Reese that whatever happened four years ago is firmly in the past, but the words stick in my throat because all I can think about is Jamie on the floor with Ella, coloring castles.
Jamie standing between me and my father, protecting us without hesitation.
Jamie looking at me when he saw me in this dress and the way he kissed me after helping me with my work.
My heart skips a beat just thinking about those moments, and I don’t know what to do with that.
“I don't know,” I whisper. “I really don't know.”
Reese nods slowly, like he expected this answer.
“For what it's worth, I'm not here to complicate things for you.
I like you, Tiff. I like spending time with you and Ella, but if there's a chance—even a small one—that you and Jamie might work things out…” He trails off, his smile sad but understanding.
“I don't want to be the guy standing in the way of that.”
“You're not—”
“I could be.” His voice is firm but kind. “And I don't want that for any of us. You deserve to figure out what you want without feeling guilty about it.”
I stare at him for a long moment, feeling completely unworthy. He’s being kind. Too kind, which only makes me feel a little queasy.
I shake my head, swallowing down the lump in my throat. “I’m sorry if I made this messy,” My voice is barely audible above the music. “You’ve been nothing but good to me. To Ella. You didn’t deserve to walk into all of this.”
Reese reaches over the table, placing his hand over mine. “Tiff,” he says my name gently, and somehow that hurts more. “You don’t owe me an apology for feeling something for the father of your child. You deserve to be happy. That’s all I want for you.”
Happy? I still don’t really know what that feels like.
Tears prick at my eyes, and I do my best to hold them back. “You’re a really good person, you know that?”
“So are you.” He squeezes my palm gently before moving away. “Now, I’m going to put a song request in and I think we should have one final dance, then I’ll take you home. Sound good?”
“Yeah.”
I watch him walk away, feeling completely unworthy of him. Reese has never pushed me into anything. Even now, he’s just being the supportive friend he’s always been.
My head is telling me I should be with a guy like him, but my heart won’t let me do that, knowing there could be a chance I’d break his.
All because of Jamie…
Digging my phone out of my purse, I click the screen on.
“Fuck,” I whisper under my breath.
Three missed calls: Jamie
Two voicemails
Two unread messages.
My heart is racing as I unlock my phone.
Jamie: Hey Tiff. I’m sorry to bother you on your date, but Ella mentioned her stomach hurts. I’m giving her small sips of water, but don’t want to give her any medication without your permission.
Jamie: I found the thermometer, and I think she might have a fever. Should I be worried?
“Shit.” The word comes out strangled as I'm already standing, already grabbing my purse. “Shit, shit. Shit.”
When Reese returns, his brow immediately furrows. “What's wrong?”
“It's Ella. She's sick. I have to go.” I'm moving toward the door, my hands shaking as I pull up my recent calls.
“Whoa, hey—” Reese catches my elbow gently, steadying me. “I drove, remember? Come on, let's get you home.”
“Right. Yes. Okay.” I can barely think straight because my mind is spiraling through worst-case scenarios.
She’s got a stomach bug; maybe it’s food poisoning…but what if it’s something worse?
Reese guides me through the crowd, his hand at my back as we weave between dancers. The music that felt fun and freeing moments ago now feels suffocating and loud, keeping me from my daughter.
The cool night air hits my face as we burst through the doors, and I'm already dialing Jamie back. It rings once. Twice, but there’s no answer.
I text him, asking how things are going, but it remains unread, only making me panic.
“She'll be okay,” Reese says, reaching over to squeeze my hand. “Maya has fever spikes all the time. It looks scarier than it is.”
I nod, but can't formulate a response. All I can think about is getting to my daughter.
When we finally pull into the driveway, I'm out of the car before Reese has fully stopped. “Thank you,” I call over my shoulder. “For everything.”
“Go,” he waves me off. “Call me if you need anything.”
I race up the path, fumbling with my keys. The house is quiet when I enter, and there’s no signs of the panic I expected.
“Jamie?” I call, dropping my purse on the floor. “Ella?”
“Upstairs!” Jamie's voice calls back.
“Where?” I ask, taking two stairs at a time.
“In your bathroom.”
I don’t think, I just move, and with both hands clutched to the edge of the door frame, I take a sharp breath.
“What the—”
Jamie and Ella are both fully clothed, soaking wet in the bathtub. Ella giggles as she splashes water at him. Her cheeks are a little flushed, but she’s smiling, clearly not in distress.
“Mommy!” she exclaims when she sees me. “Jamie told me to take a bath with my clothes on. Isn't that silly?”
“So silly,” I agree, the relief making my knees weak. I cross to the tub, kneeling beside it to feel her forehead. She's warm, but not alarmingly so. “How are you feeling, baby?”
“My head hurts a little,” she admits. “But the water is nice and cool.”
I look at Jamie, who's watching me with an expression of equal parts embarrassment and concern. His hair is plastered to his forehead, his t-shirt clinging to his chest, and he's never looked more endearing.
“What happened?” I ask him softly.
“After our second watch of Iced Out, she started crying,” he explains with one hand still supporting Ella’s back.
“She said her stomach hurt and then her temperature spiked to 102.3, and I panicked.” He starts rubbing Ella’s back, his focus entirely on her.
“I may have called 911 when I couldn’t get through to you. ”
“You called 911 for a fever?”
He shrugs, and avoids eye contact. “I didn't know what else to do.
The dispatcher was nice about it, though.
Said to give her some children's Tylenol and put her in a lukewarm bath to bring the temperature down. I couldn't find any medicine, and she was crying, so I put her in the bath, but she was afraid I’d leave, so…”
“So you got in with her,” I finish, unable to suppress a smile.
“I panicked,” he admits again. “I've never dealt with a sick kid before.”
Ella splashes more water, oblivious to her father's distress. “Jamie said we're having a special swim party,” she informs me seriously. “But inside instead of in a pool.”
“That sounds fun,” I say, brushing her damp hair from her forehead. “But I think the swim party might be over now. Time to get dry and warm.”
“Aww,” she pouts, but doesn't protest when Jamie stands up, water cascading off both of them. I grab a towel and wrap it around her as he passes her to me, then offer him one as well.
“I’ll just put her to bed. There are more towels over there.”
He nods, and I turn my attention to Ella. When we get to her room, I help her out of her wet clothes and into some dry pajamas. Her skin is cooler now, and she seems more like herself while she talks about how funny Jamie looked when he climbed into the bathtub with his socks on.
“Did you have fun with Jamie tonight?” I ask, toweling her hair dry.
“Uh-huh.” She nods enthusiastically. “We had mac and cheese for dinner and watched Iced Out twice. Then I got hot, and we had a bath party.”
“Sounds like quite an adventure,” I say, tucking her under the covers. Her stuffed fox is already waiting on the pillow, and I place it in her arms.
“Jamie's nice,” Ella murmurs, her eyes already drooping. “Even when I was sick.”
“He is nice,” I agree softly, smoothing back her hair. “He cares about you very much.”
“Mommy?” Her voice is getting quieter. “Is Jamie gonna stay?”
I still.
“What do you mean, baby?” It comes out shaky, but I hope she can’t tell.
“Like Uncle Zach stays. Is Jamie gonna be here?” She yawns, snuggling deeper into her blankets. “I want him to stay.”
My throat tightens as I say, “I hope so, Sweetie.”
“I hope so, too,” she whispers, already halfway to sleep.
I sit there for a moment, watching her chest rise and fall as her breathing evens out. I check her forehead one more time, and the fever has definitely broken.
She's okay. Everything's okay, but her question echoes in my mind as I pull the covers up to her chin and press a kiss on her forehead.
Is Jamie gonna stay?
I hope he does…not just for Ella, but for me. For us.
Standing slowly, I flip on her nightlight and crack the door, leaving it open just enough that I'll hear if she calls for me in the night.
In the hallway, I lean against the wall and close my eyes, trying to process everything. The panic of those missed calls. The relief of finding her laughing in the bathtub. The image of Jamie, soaking wet and utterly out of his depth, but trying anyway.
He'd called 911. He'd panicked over a fever. He'd climbed into a bathtub fully clothed because he didn't want to leave her alone.
He'd shown up in every way that mattered while I was on a date with another guy.
What the hell am I doing?
My phone buzzes in my pocket with a text from Reese.
Reese: Hope Ella's feeling better. You're a great mom, Tiff. She's lucky to have you.
I stare at the message for a long moment, then type back a response.
Tiff: Thank you. She’s doing better now. I’m sorry for running out like that. I didn’t mean to leave you hanging.
His response comes quickly.
Reese: Don’t apologize. You did exactly what any good mom would do. I’m just glad she’s okay. For what it’s worth, watching you care about her like that just proved everything I already knew about you.
I swallow down the lump in my throat as I read his message again. Why couldn’t he be an asshole and make it easy for me to hate him? Why did he have to be so nice and caring? Why did I go on a date with him and lead him on when the only person I can’t stop thinking about is right here?
Closing my eyes, I relax my head against the wall and blow out a breath. I need to figure this out.
I quickly type a message out to Reese.
Tiff: That means more than you know. Thank you for always being there for me, Reese.
After I slip the phone back in my pocket, I stare at my bedroom door across the hall, hesitating over my next move.
Jamie’s in there.
The man who protected our daughter at all costs. I need to thank him. I need to do a hell of a lot more than that, but I just don’t know how.
I take my first steps, blowing out a breath.
“Here goes nothing,” I whisper to myself before reaching out for the door.