Chapter 8
EIGHT
Benjamin had been at the window, looking out for Mollie, for the last hour.
These were the moments when she felt cruel for keeping them in different homes, but the conversation with Andrew earlier reminded her how untenable it had become for them both to live together. As the rows got more frequent, her energy to fight had reduced until she just wanted to conserve whatever she had to focus on the children.
She knew they must have pulled up outside when Ben started to jump up and down, his excitement at seeing his sister palpable.
‘Come on, then, Ben. Let’s go get her.’
Though she didn’t jump or flap her hands like he did, Mollie was just as pleased to see her brother. She held out her arms to him and gave him a brief, but tight, hug. ‘Hi, Ben. What shall we do?’
She always greeted him like this, and he would take her hand and lead her away to show her his latest collection of pebbles or any other treasure that he’d collected since they were last together.
Andrew, forgotten on the doorstep, held up a hand which he waved at their disappearing backs. ‘Hi, Ben. It’s Dad.’
Erica stood aside to let him into the hallway. ‘He’s only got eyes for Mollie, you know that. Do you want a coffee? Only instant, I’m afraid.’
Why was she trying to make him feel better about being ignored? It wasn’t as if he made the biggest of efforts to encourage Ben to want to spend time with him. Whenever he came to see Ben, she had to act as an interpreter, reminding Andrew how to approach things with him, what he liked to do, how best to communicate. Each time, it was as if Andrew expected him to have changed since his visit the previous week.
He followed her through to the kitchen. A tiny square of grey linoleum surrounded by white cupboards. Even if she’d had a posh coffee machine like his, there would’ve been nowhere to put it.
Propped up against the corner cupboard, his legs stretched halfway into the kitchen as he watched her fill the kettle and put it on. ‘How was your day?’
‘Okay. Quiet. But okay.’
‘I can imagine. Only so many cardigans you can sell to old ladies. Are you missing teaching?’
‘Yes. I am. Being in the classroom is…energising, I suppose. Hard work, but I like it.’
He nodded slowly. ‘So, you’ll go back? If everything goes well at the panel on Thursday?’
Before she could answer, Mollie appeared in the kitchen with Ben trailing behind her. ‘Ben needs some biscuits.’
Though she was supposed to be in trouble, Erica couldn’t help but smile. This is what Mollie would do when they were little. If she wanted something, she would say that Benjamin ‘needed’ it, learning quickly that Ben’s needs were often top of their consideration. She reached behind her into the cupboard and brought out a packet of chocolate digestives – Ben’s favourite – and passed them over. Then the two of them disappeared again.
A smile played on Andrew’s lips. ‘She misses him.’
Was he trying to make her feel guilty? She wasn’t the one who’d suggested splitting the two of them up. ‘I know. He misses her, too.’
Andrew looked down at his hands. Again, she noticed that he wasn’t wearing his wedding ring. Should she have removed hers? Was that what you did when you were separated? It was such a fundamental part of her that she hadn’t even considered removing it. ‘How was your day?’
He shrugged. ‘I couldn’t stop thinking about this business with Mollie. I just don’t understand it. I’ve dealt with enough petty thieves in my time: she’s just not the type, is she?’
He wasn’t going to get any arguments there. She’d been trying to work it out, too. ‘If it was because she needed money, surely she’d ask one of us? I mean, what could she want to buy other than clothes or Frappuccinos?’
‘That’s what I don’t understand. I tried to ask her again today but she just clams up. Won’t say a thing. I’ve never seen her like this.’
‘Let’s go and sit with the kids, see if Ben can work his magic on her.’
In the living room, Mollie and Ben were sitting on the floor together and he was watching her braid some lengths of wool that he’d brought home from school. From when he was tiny, he’d loved any kind of thread or yarn. Even her pairs of tights weren’t safe from him. He liked to tie them onto the door handles of the living room.
Watching the two of them together like this, Erica could taste the bittersweet nostalgia for when they were small. These days, especially with them living apart from one another, it was easy to forget that they were twins. Physically, they were pretty different. Mollie’s slim frame had started to change with puberty, but she was still tiny compared to Ben’s solid, broad boyishness. Sometimes, though, in their smiles, she could see the connection between them.
Had they done the wrong thing in living apart? Seeing them side by side, she couldn’t help but think that they might’ve done. But the school Ben was attending had been so good for him. And their residential buildings could provide somewhere for him to live someday when they could no longer care for him. When she could no longer care for him.
Mollie got to the end of the braid and Benjamin clapped then held out his hands for it. Watching her pass it over, Erica remembered how kind and generous Mollie had always been when they were small. Giving Ben first choice of their breakfast bowls, or picture books, or toys. Andrew used to get annoyed with Erica for not stepping in if Ben took something belonging to Mollie. But Mollie never seemed to mind. ‘It’s okay, Mummy. I can get another one.’
Andrew cleared his throat. ‘What’s that you’ve got, Ben. Can I take a look?’
Ben cupped the bright wool braid between his hands so that Andrew couldn’t see it and shook his head.
Andrew looked at Erica for help and she tried her best. ‘Show Dad, Ben. He wants to see how pretty it is.’
Mollie raised an eyebrow. ‘If you’re that desperate, I’ll make you one.’
Erica assumed she was making a joke, but Andrew didn’t seem to take it that way. ‘I’m trying to talk to your brother, Mollie.’
Heading an argument off at the pass, Erica stood up. ‘I didn’t make you a drink, Mollie. Come out to the kitchen with me and I’ll fix you something.’
Mollie looked so much calmer than she had yesterday that Erica didn’t want to ruin the moment by asking her again about the money she’d taken from her teacher’s handbag. But there wasn’t really a choice.
‘You know we need to talk about this, right?’
Mollie’s face darkened. ‘Can we not just leave this today?’
It was tempting. ‘No. We can’t. You have to talk to us at some point, Mollie.’
‘I don’t know what you want me to say!’
Never before had she raised her voice like this. They weren’t a family who shouted at one another. Moody, stroppy, hormonal, yes; she could be all of those at times. But not this. Erica fought to keep her voice calm. ‘We want to know why you took the money.’
‘Because I needed it! Why else would I have taken it? I needed it, okay?’
Blazing with anger, her eyes burned into Erica, as if she were the one in the right here. How could she think that this was okay? Stay calm. Stay calm . ‘And what did you need money for that you couldn’t ask me or Dad to help with?’
‘You wouldn’t understand! Just let me sort it out for myself!’ Mollie slammed her mug down onto the counter and left the room.
Erica closed her eyes and leaned against the sink. She was completely out of her depth here. How was she supposed to manage this? What wasn’t Mollie telling her? Fear about what she might need that money for made her heart thud hard out of her chest. She was only just thirteen. Wrestling her mind away from the dark thoughts that threatened to overpower her, she tried to be rational, to not let her fear ‘imprison’ her as Andrew had accused her of once. This was Mollie. Their bright, beautiful, clever, kind and sensible daughter. All of the reasons a young woman might need money couldn’t apply to her, could they? Please God, don’t let it be drugs or pregnancy or anything that could hurt her.
She could feel Andrew’s presence before she opened her eyes. He closed the door behind him before he spoke. ‘How did that go?’
Throat tight, eyes stinging, she threw up her hands in defeat. ‘She won’t tell me anything. It’s like she hates me. The way she spoke, the look in her eyes…’
Her hand flew to her mouth to catch the sob she couldn’t hold in. Seeing her tears, Andrew softened his voice. ‘She won’t talk to me either, Erica. It’s not just you. I’ve tried everything I can think of to get her to open up. I got nothing.’
The paper towel she tore from the holder was rough and hard on her face as she blotted her tears and blew her nose. ‘She did say that she needed the money. But she wouldn’t tell me what for.’
In detective mode, Andrew’s eyes narrowed. ‘What exactly did she say?’
Closing her eyes to try and remember, all Erica could see was the red anger that’d come her way, burning her heart like fire. ‘She said that she took the money because she needed it. That I wouldn’t understand and that she needed to sort it out for herself.’
When she opened her eyes, the look on Andrew’s face – Confusion? Dread? Fear? – made her even more terrified. He looked back in the direction Mollie had just gone, as if trying to trace her thoughts along the path of her footsteps. ‘This could be really serious, Erica.’
If she’d had anything in her stomach, she probably would’ve thrown up right then and there. Unlike her, Andrew didn’t jump to conclusions. He didn’t let his mind unravel to the most catastrophic of outcomes. Even when he was wrong, he was absolutely one hundred per cent sure of himself. If he thought this was something really bad…She swallowed the acid in her throat. ‘So what do we do now?’
He brought his eyes back in her direction. ‘If she won’t tell us anything, we have to find someone who might know. Her friends? Her teachers? Anyone else she might talk to?’
He was right. They couldn’t just wait for Mollie to open up. If she wasn’t prepared to tell them about the stealing, they were going to have to find another way to get to the bottom of it. ‘Celeste is still at the school. She’s on the Senior Leadership Team. I’ve told the shop that I can’t come in tomorrow, so I can call her first thing and arrange a meeting?’
Andrew frowned. ‘Celeste? I know she’s your friend, but is she the right person to speak to?’
That was a strange thing to say. ‘She’ll know what’s going on. I’d rather talk to her than anyone else at the minute.’
He pulled out his collar as if it was too tight. ‘Do you want me to do the meeting? I mean, are you even allowed on the premises? You haven’t been back there since…’
She shook her head to stop him speaking. ‘This is different. I’m there as a parent. I want to go. But you can come with me if you like?’
An anxious expression crossed his face. ‘I don’t think we both need to be there. That might be overkill.’
She didn’t agree, and she was nervous about setting foot in the school and who she might see, but she was more concerned about getting to the bottom of what was going on. Mollie had needed money so desperately that she’d stolen it from her teacher’s handbag. Why hadn’t she come to them? What could be so awful that she didn’t think they’d understand? Whatever it was, Erica was going to find out and then she’d make it okay.
Even if that meant she had to walk back into that school again – the mere thought of which made her want to throw up on her kitchen floor.