Chapter 16
SIXTEEN
ERICA
Erica’s heart thudded with every one of the nine rings until Andrew picked up. ‘Have you heard anything?’
After her last two calls, he’d said that he’d contact her as soon as he had anything to tell. It’d only been eight minutes since they last spoke but she couldn’t wait any longer. ‘No. I’ve been to all the local parks and places that teenagers hang out and I can’t find her. Any luck from her friends?’
Amelia had already called back to say that she hadn’t been able to track Mollie down. Apparently, she hadn’t replied to any of the messages Amelia sent and she hadn’t been on any of the Snapchat groups, either. Amelia had asked other friends to message Mollie – in case it was just her she was avoiding – but she wasn’t answering anyone else’s messages either. ‘No. Nothing.’
Up until now, Erica had comforted herself with the thought that Mollie was punishing them for grounding her at home, but now she was really starting to panic. The Life360 app was still showing ‘Battery Saver’ for Mollie’s phone, which meant that she had either – as Andrew believed – purposely disabled their ability to track her, or her phone was genuinely low on battery. Erica wasn’t sure which of those was the most frightening.
‘You have to call your colleagues. We need the police out looking for her. She’s a missing person.’
Andrew sighed at the other end of the phone, his voice laced with irritation. ‘It’s only four o’clock in the afternoon and she’s been out of touch for less than two hours. I don’t think we need to bring in the flying squad just yet.’
Was he more worried about losing face with his colleagues than locating his daughter? ‘We need to find her, Andrew. She’s obviously not thinking straight. This is so unlike her.’
‘I’ll go out again and then, if I can’t find her in another hour, I’ll call it in.’
Erica wasn’t anywhere near satisfied with that. She needed to be out looking, too. In her head, at the very least, Mollie was upset and alone somewhere. And at the worst…she couldn’t even bear to think about that. Ben was settled playing with his letters. Maybe Jade could come over and sit with him while she scoured the streets for her daughter?
When she called Jade, however, she could barely understand her over the phone. Her voice was thick and sounded like it was coming from behind a blanket. ‘Hello?’
‘Jade, it’s Erica. I’m sorry to ask you at the last minute, but is there any way you can come over and sit with Benjamin for me? I wouldn’t ask, but it’s a bit of an emergency.’
‘I’m sorry. I’ve got a terrible migraine. I’m in bed.’
Erica’s heart sank. ‘Not to worry. It’s fine. I’ll ask someone else.’
She didn’t want to make Jade feel bad, but there was no one else. She couldn’t even call the agency Jade worked for and ask them to send someone. It wasn’t fair to Ben to just leave him with a carer that he didn’t know. With Jade, Erica had stayed the first time she came to make sure that Ben was comfortable – and, to be honest, so that she could see what she was like – and then she’d only left him alone with Jade for an hour or so the next time. She had no idea how long she was going to be out looking for Mollie.
Hoping desperately for good news, she called Andrew again. ‘Anything?’
His voice echoed. He must be using the handsfree this time. ‘I’ve literally just pulled out of the car park, Erica.’
She knew that she wasn’t helping matters, but the fear and guilt of just sitting here were intolerable. ‘Sorry. I’m just desperately worried. I wish I could be there looking with you.’
‘Then come.’
He made it sound so easy. ‘I haven’t got anyone to sit with Benjamin.’
‘Just bring him with you.’
Again. So easy. ‘He’s taken a dislike to being in the car for longer than about ten minutes. And he’s got all his letters laid out so moving him now might prompt a meltdown.’
There was a long silence at the other end. A silence dripping with all the old arguments they’d had on her ‘coddling’ of Benjamin. You’re not doing him any favours. He needs to learn how to behave. You make him worse.
She knew what Andrew would say next before he said it. ‘What about the school? Why don’t you call the residential part and see if he can stay there tonight?’
Benjamin’s school had a residential section, like a boarding school. Children came from all over the UK to stay there and they also had bedrooms where the day students could stay for just one or two nights at a time. Though it was almost three months since he’d transferred to the school, she still hadn’t felt as if he was ready for a whole night away from her. It still required a lot of effort and persuasion to get him to clean his teeth at night, wash himself effectively, get himself dressed. She couldn’t send him somewhere else to stay until she was sure that he could do it. It was difficult enough for her to help him with those things now that he was older and bigger and puberty was changing him from boy to man. She didn’t want him to need this kind of care from a stranger.
Still, it was a fair suggestion . ‘I could call them. But it’s all a bit sudden and last minute. We’ve never left him before.’
‘We?’ he coughed out a sarcastic laugh. ‘I don’t think we have ever decided anything for Benjamin. That’s your domain.’
She bit on her tongue rather than his words. His passive aggressive dig wasn’t the point right now. ‘He needs to feel safe.’
‘He will be safe. I know you still think about that boy on your school residential, Erica. But this is a completely different situation.’
She closed her eyes to try and block out the memory of that day. Over three months ago now, but it could’ve been yesterday.
She’d managed to avoid school residential trips since she’d had the kids. Life was a struggle to get everything done. Often, she’d be marking at the kitchen table until eleven or twelve at night and then Ben would be awake at five, wanting to go downstairs. There were always younger members of staff who were keen to go. But this particular time, the head had asked expressly for her. ‘We need someone with experience. And first aid training.’
When she’d reluctantly agreed, she hadn’t known why they’d wanted her to go.
Andrew had been really annoyed. ‘How can you be away for five days? What am I supposed to do about work?’
‘You’ll have to take the time off. There’s nothing else for it. I don’t have a choice, Andrew. It’s my job.’ There was a tiny part of her – a teeny tiny part among the anxiety about being away from the children – that was almost pleased that he’d have to do everything for the kids while she was away. Let him see what it was like to be on alert every minute of the day.
At her school, there was a rule that children with a certain amount of behaviour points would not be allowed on school trips. There was always a push-back from parents on this. Reasons why the school were discriminating against their child whose additional needs meant they were more likely to be excluded from these trips. She understood their feelings – she was a Special Needs mum herself – but she also understood that the teachers were already taking on a huge amount of responsibility looking after other people’s children on holiday. Residential trips – any school trips – were a very different situation to the school environment. If kids misbehaved, there was no back-up, no one to call, nowhere safe to put them.
The boy’s name would forever be etched on her mind. Vinnie Fisher. He was the child who was always in detention on a Friday night, whose record on the school behaviour system was longer than three people’s arms. He wasn’t always badly behaved – no child is – but he consistently pushed boundaries, was rude to staff and had a mother who would back him up whatever he did. According to her, it was never his fault.
Vinnie wasn’t invited on the trip. When it was announced at the beginning of the school year that they were going to the Lake District that March, they’d been told that they had to have less than twenty behaviour points. By the time of the cut off, Vinnie had thirty-seven.
Behaviour points were given for various reasons: lateness, lack of effort, no homework, disruption. Vinnie’s were almost all for persistent disruption and inability to follow instructions. Both of which would make his attendance on a school trip an absolute nightmare for staff.
But his mother had – as always – marched into school and accused the head of discriminating against her son. She’d also started slating the school on a local Facebook group, garnering support from other local parents who loved to jump on to posts like this and use it as a way to pile on their own frustrations with the school. Truth and an understanding of the complexity of these situations had no place on these online courts where the disgruntled parents set themselves up as judge and jury on any decision the school made.
Eventually the head caved. Vinnie was going to be on the trip. And he would need someone to monitor him closely throughout. That person was going to be Erica.
With a shudder, she shook the memory from her head. She couldn’t think about that right now. This time, Andrew was right. She didn’t want to leave Ben, but she had to be out there looking for Mollie. What other option did she have? ‘Okay. I’ll call the school and see if he can go there this evening for a few hours. Then I’ll drive up and help you look for Mollie.’
‘Good. Call me when you get here and I’ll let you know where I’ve already covered.’
Before she called the school, she took a minute to think this through. Right now, Ben was content, with one eye on the letters on his board and the other on the TV. His dinner – a beige banquet of nuggets and oven chips which she knew he’d eat without complaint – was just about to be ready. She’d have to pack him a bag while he ate. Then hope that she could make him understand why he had to go back to school when he hadn’t been to bed yet.
At thirteen, she didn’t want to leave him for a moment. But Mollie was only thirteen, too. And she was out there somewhere alone. Erica had no choice but to call the school and see if they had any capacity for Ben to stay overnight. Even though she felt sick to the stomach at the thought.