Chapter 41
FORTY-ONE
‘I don’t think that I can do it.’
To be honest, looking at how small and fragile her daughter seemed in that large office chair, Erica was beginning to question how she’d thought this was a good idea. ‘It’s fine. If you don’t want to do it, we’ll just tell them.’
As Mollie didn’t get up from the chair, Erica assumed that she hadn’t fully made up her mind. ‘I’m worried that I’m going to make an idiot of myself. Make it worse. I know they said they won’t be able to tell it’s me, but people at school will know it’s me and I don’t want to tell all the details about what happened.’
Erica could’ve slapped herself. In her rush to empower Mollie, she’d actually set her up to relive what’d happened. And so soon, too. ‘I’m sorry, sweetheart, I shouldn’t have suggested it. We’ll tell them we’ve changed our minds.’
Mollie’s bottom lip trembled. ‘I don’t want to let them down.’
Erica crouched on the floor in front of her. ‘You’re not letting anyone down, love. This is only a good idea if you think it is. If not, we’ll leave right now. I’ll tell them it’s me.’
The door opened and a young woman with long dark hair and an easy smile joined them. ‘Hi. You must be Mollie. I’m Savita, pleased to meet you.’
Mollie took Savita’s hand, her own smile hesitant. ‘Hi.’
‘I’m the producer for this segment. I wanted to come and have a chat with you and tell you how it all works. See if there’s any questions you want us to avoid, that kind of thing.’
Erica opened her mouth to explain that Mollie had changed her mind, but Mollie shook her head at her to be quiet. Didn’t she want her to speak for her?
Savita’s words came out in a gush of enthusiasm. ‘First of all, I just want to say how amazing I think you are. You are so so brave to do this. And I can’t believe you’re only thirteen. You are way cooler than I was at your age.’
That can only have been a handful of years ago. Was the praise going to persuade Mollie into doing something she didn’t want to do? She certainly seemed to be enjoying it.
Savita was still going strong. ‘Your friends must think you’re amazing, too?’
Mollie shifted in her seat. ‘I haven’t really spoken to them about it.’
To give her her due, Savita was clearly high on the emotional intelligence scale. ‘Yeah, I guess it’s tough. What you’ve been through, in one way or another, it’s something that a lot of women have to go through. But maybe you’re the first to experience it among your friends?’
Everything she said was the same things that Erica had said, but Mollie was listening as if all of this was brand-new information. To be fair, Erica wasn’t a twenty-something beauty with silver Doc Martens and a diamond stud in her nose.
Still, she was worried that Savita’s charisma – coupled with Mollie’s desperate need to please – might lead her to do something she’d regret.
But she’d misjudged her child. ‘I don’t want to do it. I’m sorry if I’ve messed you around, but I just can’t.’
For a moment, Savita paused. Then she tilted her head to the side. ‘Why?’
Mollie took a deep breath. ‘I don’t want to talk about what happened to me. I feel ashamed. I feel stupid. And I’m not ready to share that with the world.’
Erica’s heart was fit to bursting. She knew how difficult it was for Mollie to stand up and say no. Savita was nodding slowly. ‘Okay, but if you were on the show, what would you want to say? What do you want people to know?’
Pausing to think, Mollie looked down at her fingers. ‘That it can happen to anyone. You think it’s not going to be you, but it could be. Easily.’
And it could easily be your child. Even if you were an ex-teacher who’d had all the training in the world about online grooming and exploitation. It could still happen to your vulnerable baby, right under your nose.
‘Anything else? Any advice that you’d give?’
Mollie glanced at Erica before she spoke. ‘Talk to someone. A friend in the real world. Before you do anything like this. Because you don’t know who you’re talking to. Even when you think you do.’
Savita tapped her nose then her chin as she considered what Mollie was saying. ‘I get it. I do. Just give me a minute.’
She disappeared out of the door and Mollie deflated in front of Erica’s eyes. ‘She probably thinks I’m pathetic.’
Erica was beside her in a moment. ‘Absolutely not. I am so proud of you, sweetheart. It wasn’t easy to say no, but you did it.’
‘I thought you wanted me to do it?’
‘No. I thought it might help you to do it. If it’s not right, or you’re uncertain, you’re absolutely right to say no. Savita is probably just letting someone know that it’s not going to happen. Maybe they need to know as soon as possible. And then we can go home.’
The door swung open and Savita swooped back inside. ‘Right, I have an idea for you. I just ran it past my presenter and they think it’s a great idea. How about you present the segment?’
Mollie looked as confused as Erica felt. ‘But I just said that I didn’t feel comfortable telling everyone my story.’
Erica’s heart ached at her daughter’s tiny voice.
But Savita was shaking her glossy hair. ‘No, sorry, I’m not explaining it right. I mean, we don’t tell your story – well, not directly. But you can be the presenter. You’ll present the topic to the camera, read off the autocue and all of that. Then the presenter can tell your story as if it happened to someone else. Not you.’
Mollie still looked uncertain, but she was also intrigued. ‘So I would be on the screen. My actual face?’
‘Yes. As a presenter.’ Savita looked at Erica. ‘As long as your mum was okay with it and you’re happy? I mean, it’s all pre-recorded, so if you’re not comfortable or you change your mind, we can just go back to the presenter doing the story and we’ll cut your bit.’
Now Mollie looked at Erica. ‘What do you think, Mum?’
‘I think it’s up to you, sweetheart.’
A smile twitched at the edges of Mollie’s mouth. ‘I think I want to do it.’
Mollie was amazing. A complete natural in front of the camera. The segment about online predators was only five minutes long, but Savita took her time with her, patiently ensuring that everything was perfect.
Once the filming was over, she walked them back to reception. ‘Really, Mollie, you are born for presenting work. If this segment works out, maybe I’ll be getting in contact for some more work.’
Mollie flushed with pleasure at the praise. ‘I’d really enjoy that.’
When they got home, Andrew had bought a bottle of non-alcoholic Prosecco and had it chilling in a bucket. ‘How was the first day of stardom?’
‘Dad. Seriously.’ The smile on Mollie’s lips gave a lie to her mocking tone.
When Andrew held her close, Erica heard him whisper, ‘I’m so proud of you, love.’ And it brought tears to her eyes.
‘She was really incredible. Wait until you see her on TV tomorrow night. She sounds so mature.’
‘It’s a really great thing you’re doing, too. You might prevent someone else going through all of this.’
This time her smile was gentle. ‘Thanks. I hope so.’
Erica watched her go, taking two steps at a time in her eagerness to go to her room and watch the unedited clips that Savita had sent to her phone. They still had a lot to work through with what had happened, but this felt like a very good start. She turned to Andrew. ‘Where’s Ben?’
His expression was cryptic. ‘Follow me. We have something to show you.’
Outside the back door, Ben was pushing his trike backwards and forwards on the small patio, transfixed by the spokes of the wheels. Erica had to bite her lip to stop herself from warning him not to put his fingers too close. ‘Hi, Ben. I’m back. Have you had a good day with Daddy?’
Ben looked up at her, then at Andrew. He waved his hands at the trike.
Andrew stepped towards him. ‘Shall we show Mum what you can do?’
Ben slapped the saddle of the trike with his hand, rocking onto the balls of his feet, something he always did when he was eager to go somewhere or do something.
Erica watched Andrew in disbelief as he opened the side gate and helped Ben to manoeuvre the trike through the narrow space. Ben’s hand waving was getting faster. He glanced back to ensure that Erica was following. Surely he wasn’t going to actually ride it?
The house was on a close and the road was quiet, but Erica couldn’t believe what she was seeing. Andrew held the trike as Ben managed to swing his leg across and sit on the saddle. Then he helped him place his feet onto the pedals.
‘Okay, Ben. Remember what we were doing, push down on this one.’
Andrew had his hand on Ben’s right foot. It was impossible to see how much Ben was pushing with his foot and how much of it was Andrew, but the pedal went downwards nonetheless.
Encouragement rolling with every vowel, Andrew kept his eyes on Ben’s feet. ‘Great work, Ben. Now the other one.’
This time it was clear to see that it was Ben. Andrew stayed this side of the trike but sidestepped crab-like to stay in line with Ben as the trike moved.
‘Back to this one, Ben.’
His right foot went down again. She put her hand over her mouth to stop the words coming out. Be careful. Not too fast.
Andrew was still walking sideways, a little faster now. ‘Down with your foot. Now the other one. Back to this one. Good boy, Ben. Good boy. You’re doing it!’
And he was doing it. Ben was riding a trike.
All the while his feet were moving up and down, Ben stared intently at the crossbar, his face frozen in concentration. But Andrew’s face was a picture of joy when he glanced at her. ‘Can you see? Can you see what he’s doing?’
She could barely get the words out. ‘I can see what he’s doing. Oh, my clever clever boy.’
Tears flowed freely down Erica’s cheeks. This moment was one she would hold dear to her heart for many many years to come. Ben’s determination. Andrew’s joy. A simple everyday moment for so many children. Today it was theirs.
‘We did it. He did it. He learned to ride a trike.’
‘You did it too. You taught him.’
She watched as Andrew – tough, solid, practical Andrew – wiped tears away with the back of his hand, his voice a croak. ‘I taught my boy to ride a trike.’
Without thinking about it, she reached for him and he wrapped his arms around her. For a moment, she dared to hope that there was still a chance for them.