12. Octavio
Chapter 12
Octavio
“R un all of that shit back to me again!” Detavio gritted out at Monster.
His fingers drummed so hard against his glass diner table, causing it to rattle. Monster sat across from Detavio with a blank expression on his face. Every couple of seconds, his eyes diverted to Neosyne’s car seat to make sure he was still asleep; his jaws clenched in anger.
Monster kept his mouth shut; he stared at Detavio with an emotionless expression. I couldn’t help but to look at them both with concern. Detavio picked up his shot glass and knocked it back. His facial expressions usually mirrored Monsters, he couldn’t hold back his array of emotions either.
“Monster is not going to repeat himself, Bro.” I finally spoke after thirty minutes of remaining silent.
With all the information that Monster dropped on us about his past and how Jalissa came in as a fake ass hero to act like she wanted to finally be in his life, made me sick to the stomach. What made it worse was me already putting two and two together about him being trafficked as a baby. He was forced inside of brothels and now a man by the name of Tai was after him.
Everything he said made the inside of my stomach churn, I yearned for revenge. Monster had it the hardest out of all of us. He carried his pain along with his trauma horribly. I saw that he was broken beyond fixing, Natavi and Neosyne was a part of his healing and therapy…sad to say, they wouldn’t be enough to totally change the monster that these sick muthafuckas created inside of him.
I thought about my mother; my only regret with Monster killing her was me not being able to reveal to her my secret. I planned on my secret being payback to her in the long run. After finding out about her drugging me as a kid. She tried to force me into becoming something that I never wanted to be. It took a long time to accept myself. I wanted a deep masculine voice like my brothers.
I wanted to appear more manly as a teen, my facial features were a little strong. I had to face it and accept the fact that I had breasts and my voice was soft. Instead of getting upset when women called me beautiful, I thanked them and let the compliment make me feel good. Jalissa fucked me up, it took a whole lot of self-discovery to get over it. I just wished that I was able to look her in the eyes and tell her that I lied about having cancer. I lied and was proud about that. My adulthood was better without her sick ass.
“I heard what the fuck he said, but the part that I refuse to accept is him wanting us to be okay with him going alone!” Detavio stood up abruptly.
Monster’s eyes quickly went to Neosyne again; once he realized that the baby still rested and unbothered, he flicked his dark eyes back to Detavio.
“Don’t disrupt my son’s sleep. Talk lower!” His voice boomed and that caused Neosyne to stir in his sleep.
Besides all the rage evident on Monster’s face, his facial features softened when we all witnessed Neosyne smile in his sleep.
“He knows his dad’s voice.” I couldn’t hold back my own smile.
“He does.” Monster sneered.
“Listen, I know what I’m doing with all of this…I can go and come back with all my dead ends clipped off…for good.” Monster tried to reassure us.
I knew nothing about killing, but behind my family, I knew that I would without thinking twice about committing the crime.
“I want a tracker on you…if you don’t check in with us every two hours?—”
“I don’t look shit like, Angel!” Monster cut Detavio off a little too fast.
“You either go with a tracker and check in or I will go no matter what! Natavi can stay with Octavio, I’m not babysitting your wife.” Detavio’s eyes left Monster’s for a few seconds.
His eyes went to his sleek bar with all of his expensive cognacs on display. I could see it in his gaze that he wanted to pop the top and down some more liquor. It’s how he’s been coping with all the lemons that life had been throwing his way lately. In front of us today, he tried to drink in moderation.
Detavio didn’t want to admit it out loud that ever since Angel left, along with all of the negative attention being thrown his way in the blogs, he depended on the liquor as an escape.
“I need another fuckin’ drink…” Detavio spat.
That was the perfect excuse to pick his feet up and head over to his bar.
“Of course you need another drink. Watch that shit, I’d hate to have to start watching it for you.” Monster gritted out.
Detavio ignored Monster’s promise and snatched the bottle off the bar top. He used his free hand to unbutton the top three buttons of his shirt. He went through the motions of cracking his neck from side to side then finally opening up his bottle of cognac.
“Watch this shit.” Detavio smirked sinisterly and took the bottle to his lips.
Purposely, he gulped loudly for seconds too long then set it back down. Detavio leaned against the bar, then he crossed his leg over the other before eying the both of us.
“We don’t hold back shit from one another, right?” Detavio asked slowly.
“We don’t, but going into personal detail of certain things—” Monster paused.
His eyes looked down at the glass table as his shoulders dropped.
“I have bad panic or anxiety attacks; I take medicine to help myself…” Monster’s words trailed off. The pain in his voice was evident.
“I use duct-tape…I never got rid of my breasts, and I have a stalker.” I blurted out.
The room went silent, I exhaled and sat back in my seat. I felt relieved that I revealed what I was holding back. These were my brothers, they had to accept me for me. It was foolish to hold back that bit of information in the first place.
“I knew about Detavio being my brother for years…it took a long time for me to gather up the courage to even reveal myself to you. Impurity raised you, Jalissa talked so bad about you. She always said that you guys had mental issues and convinced me that I did to. She told me stories about her witnessing you cut up bodies with Impurity. She said you used to smile and laugh when you’d hold an organ in your tiny hands. I still remembered you, it hurt me when we got ripped a part…so I didn’t—I didn’t believe half the things she said about you until I got older.” I dropped my head in shame.
“Pick your head up and finish,” Detavio stated in a calm voice.
He grabbed his bottle before walking away from the bar area. Seconds later, he scooted a chair back next to me and sat down in it. I could smell the liquor on his breath, but it was the look of concern and love on his face that comforted me the most. I couldn’t help that I was sensitive, I never wanted to become too emotional in front of them. I already looked feminine enough, I didn’t want to act as such as well.
“I loved Jalissa, I still love her in ways that I don’t understand. I loved her so much growing up…I knew it was wrong for her to call me Octavia…I knew it was wrong to lie to her and tell her that I liked boys to please her. She loved on me, she was gentle most of the time until she had her moments when she snapped and was mean. She had a drinking problem, she did drugs from time to time…I always acted like I wasn’t aware of any of it in front of her, but I always knew when there was a substance involved. She always wanted a daughter…in her drunken stupors she’d admit to it and say how a daughter of hers would be the better reflection of herself. So I fell into the role and hated it all in the same breath. Kids bullied me for being different. I barely had any friends growing up. She treated me better than she treated y’all. So…” I took a deep breath and flicked my eyes over at Monster.
“I can see the weight behind all of our eyes…the weight of our parents. The years of you and Detavio swallowing down your pain. The world won’t let you two be anything but strong. Monster, you were sold, they not only tortured your body, scarring you with permanent marks to always remember the sick shit…they broke you and your spirit too. We all got our own scars, except yours show. You never have to prove to us that you are strong, because we know it. Same for you, Detavio…it hurts to see you drinking because it’s doing more harm than good. It’s hard to be around you when you are drinking because it reminds me of Jalissa,” I admitted.
Seconds later, Detavio set the bottle down and shook his head in disgust.
“No matter how dark shit gets with either of us…I got you guys like y’all got me. I love you guys, and I won’t hide nothing because you guys are the only family I got.” I swallowed down hard.
Fuck it! I tried to tuck my lip to stop my bottom lip from trembling. I forced myself to keep my head lifted high as I continued to flick my eyes back and forth between both of my brothers. I let my tears fall freely as my heart thudded hard against my chest.
“Who’s stalking you, Octavio?” Monster’s eyes shifted back emotionless. I was happy that I got everything off my chest. Monster, Detavio, and I seemed to know when it was best to change the subject.
“Rylie Rose…” I whispered her name like it was a curse.
I hadn’t heard nor saw her since she broke into my office.
“You like it, don’t you?” Detavio smirked.
“You sick as fuck, Detavio.” Monster chuckled.
“Something told me that you were as twisted as us.” Monster pointed at Detavio then back at himself.
We all remained silent for a couple of seconds before the three of us chuckled at the same time. After having enough time to think about our interaction, it was hard to say out loud that I liked it. I was supposed to file a restraining order against her but didn’t. I told myself that it was fucked up, and that she needed help. But there was still something inside of me that ignited from the feral look she gave me.
The way she talked about me to my face while she looked deep into my eyes felt like I was something sacred to her.
“Well?” Detavio smirked at me.
“I like it.” I admitted shamefully.
“What about it do you like?” Detavio pressed for answers.
“I don’t really know…it’s a lot that I can pinpoint…she’s been watching me for years…I think?—”
“Years?” Monster cut me off.
“Her name is Rylie Rose?” Detavio asked.
“Yes, and she demands that I call her by her first and last name,” I added.
“I’m going to look into her.” Monster sat up in his seat.
“She’s a nut case, and she’s?—”
“I already looked deep into her. She has Schizophrenia. Her parents are in jail for fraud…she also has a transgender roommate by the name of Syren. Rylie wants me to submit to her in the bedroom. She has watched all of my porn. I think her obsession started years ago when I first started filming.” That realization just hit me as I talked to them.
“Submit? She wants you to submit to her like you a female or some shit…wait…are you considering it?” Detavio frowned his face up in confusion.
I remained silent as Rylie Rose’s words played back in my head.
“Fuck this job. I wanted it but I want you more. I want to see what it’s like to force you into my submission in privacy and while we are out in public, I’m submissive to you. I love you, Octavio.”
“This muthafucka is turned on by it, he’s shifting in his seat!” Detavio said extra loud.
Neosyne whined, I was thankful for my nephew’s interruption. Monster jumped up quickly, he cursed underneath his breath about Detavio waking up his son. Detavio paid Monster’s idle threats no attention, he leaned in close enough until his shoulder bumped into mine.
“You like it, doesn’t matter what me and Monster say, your waiting for her to reappear. Submitting isn’t a thing for me, I dominate. If that’s your thing, do your thing…you just better watch her. Have a little fun, but watch her. I think entertaining a chick that’s her kind of crazy will lead to some toxic shit…toxic is already in our blood line…you can handle it.” Detavio winked at me then moved away.
He talked low enough for only him and I to hear what he was saying. I started to get lost in my thoughts. Rylie Rose was in the forefront of my brain, her smooth brown skin. The way her luscious curves enhanced her features, when she talked to me that day in my office it sounded like an enchantment. I couldn’t entertain her. She was every bit of toxic, a red flag walking. I had to stay away from her.
Monster got, held Neosyne in his arms and rocked him gently as he looked down into his eyes. We all remained quiet as we watched Monster talk to the baby. Loud banging at the door interrupted our well needed silence. My stomach dropped without knowing who was at the door. It sounded like a troubled knock at the door, whoever was behind it was about to shift our mood…