Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
Aaron
Paige is adorable when she sleeps. She makes this small grumbly noise in the back of her throat, almost like a snore but gentler. I don’t know how long I spent listening to it before she started awake at the sound of Noah moving in his room.
“Good morning, sleepyhead,” I murmur. I duck my head to give her a kiss, but she practically leaps out of bed.
“Noah,” she says, by way of explanation for her rebuff. And then she’s out the door and down the hall.
And that is my cue to leave.
I tug on my clothes and head downstairs to say goodbye to her. When I pass Noah’s door, I hear her in there, singing to him quietly as they spend time together. My heart tugs at the tenderness, a moment I’m not supposed to see.
Trying to make her morning easier, I start the coffee pot, rummage through her cabinets for a mug, and fix it the way she likes. I leave the steaming mug on the counter, scribble a note, and let myself out.
If she wants casual, I can do casual. Besides, I have to be at the station in a little bit. Might as well stop at the café, pick up a to-go cup of coffee and a muffin, and head in early. Maybe I can convince one of the guys to help me whip up some grub.
I wander into the station with my coffee cup in hand, trying to get my head right for the day. Paige has a way of muddying my thoughts, and our sharing last night has me reflecting on why this work matters.
“Did you make good use of that spare key last night?” Levi is the only one hanging out in the living room. He looks exhausted, probably just about ready to clock out.
“Noah and I had a good time,” I tell him, trying not to think about what else happened thanks to the spare key. I drop it into his waiting palm, pull up a seat next to him, and lean back.
“It’s a big deal.” He looks me in the eye, reminding me how serious this responsibility is. But then, a glimmer of mischief returns, and he laughs. “I mean, I know she preferred me, but you’ll do in a pinch.”
I laugh and punch him in the shoulder good-naturedly, almost like we were real brothers. And if Paige and I were to get serious, if I could win my way past casual, he would become my brother.
Best not to follow that train of thought right now.
“Noah’s teacher seemed nice enough,” I say. “But she also had no qualms about sending him home with a stranger, so…”
“Small town.” Levi shrugs. “I don’t think anyone has ever been in danger of being kidnapped here.”
“Different where I come from,” I volunteer. “Crime is high, and you just don’t take chances like that with a kid.”
“Must be an adjustment, moving to Crown Hill.”
“You have no idea.” I take a big swig from my cup to save me from having to explain immediately. “But I’m not complaining. Actually, I like it here. The city never suited me.”
“Well, small-town living looks good on you,” Levi laughs. He claps me on the shoulder, stands up, and heads toward the kitchen. “Gonna look for some breakfast before I fill out end-of-shift paperwork.”
I take his cue and head to my office. The captain position means that there’s always something to catch up on: requests for equipment, policy updates, procedural questions, and staff complaints. Levi has it worse as a superintendent, but I field everything before it gets to him.
The men change shifts, and I stay in the office, head down for a couple of hours.
“I’m going to head over to the café for coffee,” I tell the guys when I emerge with bleary eyes. “Anyone want some?”
They jot down their orders with reminders that I should know how everyone takes their coffee by now. The walk to the café is pleasant, the breeze blowing against my face. A waitress takes the scribbled list while I sit on a barstool and wait.
“I know you,” a gruff voice says from behind me.
Before I can turn around to see who it is, the old man sidles up to the barstool and takes a seat.
“Mr. Oakley.” I recognize him from the hospital room after Zachary’s wedding, the first night I ever got to kiss Paige. “Good to see you up and moving.”
He mumbles something unintelligible, but it sounds an awful lot like “Not an old man.”
Louder, he says, “Thanks to your lady friend.”
I raise my eyebrows, not sure what Paige might have told him. The two of them are obviously close. But close enough for him to know that we’re sleeping together?
“She’s different these days,” he adds, friendlier now. “Seems lighter than she did before. I have a soft spot for her and her boy.”
“Me too.” I turn to look him in the eye. Something tells me I have to pass this test if I want to get to the next level with Paige. He means something to her. “Noah is something special.”
“Paige takes good care of me,” Mr. Oakley says thoughtfully. “I would like to think that there’s someone out there taking care of her. You know what I mean?”
“I think she has a lot of people watching out for her.” I keep my cards close to my chest. Paige wants casual, which means she probably did not want me to tell Mr. Oakley how much I want to take care of her.
“One more couldn’t hurt,” he points out. The waitress hands me a cardboard tray of carryout coffees. “Looks like you have somewhere to be.”
“Duty calls.” I smile at him. “It was good to see you. I hope we’ll cross paths again soon.”
Mr. Oakley doesn’t acknowledge the last part, turning all of his attention to the coffee and bacon the waitress brings him.
“Take care of yourself, Aaron,” he says when I’m halfway out the door.
So, he does know my name. Paige must talk about me when she’s with him.
I carry that lightness with me back to the station, biding my time until I can see her again.
* * *
Paige
As much fun as it has been taking care of puppies, I’m more than ready to return them to Megan. Before Noah gets attached to them even more than he already is. Puppies equal commitment, and I have been crystal clear with everyone that I’m not ready.
The puppies yip and whine in the back of the car, tumbling over each other while Noah giggles at them.
“You sure you’re ready to give them up?” Megan asks. “I have to say that you look good with a puppy under your arm.”
“Too many bathroom accidents,” I laugh. “I’d rather have the knockoff designer handbag.”
“These puppies won’t last on the adoption floor for long. If you change your mind, you know where to find me.” Megan puts the puppies in the playpen in the middle of the kennels.
“Just promise me you’ll find them good homes.”
“You know I always do.” She gives me a knowing look. “With a rescue story like theirs, someone will give them an excellent home.”
I prompt Noah to tell the puppies goodbye. He blows a few messy kisses, lets them lick his sticky hands, and squeals when I take him back to the car. Part of me expects him to throw a tantrum, disappointed that we can’t stay. But he simply looks out the window from his spot in the car seat.
How did I get lucky enough to have an easy kid?
We ride through town with the windows down, relishing our time together.
As nice as it’s been having Aaron around, there is a part of me that feels the weight of an extra person.
It’s always been just me and Noah—us against the world.
Before that, James and I had been together for so long that I just didn’t know what life was like without him.
Being with Aaron forces me to rediscover parts of myself that I thought were long dead. Other times, I think that I might be learning who I am for the first time. He lights a flame in me, one that only he can put out.
Only one person I know understands what that’s like.
I drive there on autopilot, hoping he will be home. Before I can even get Noah out of his car seat, Levi races out of the house like my engine is on fire.
“Everything is fine,” I say, holding up my hands to convey that I’m innocent of whatever crime he thinks I’ve committed. “Noah is fine, too. We just came to… spend some time with you.”
“The kids are with their grandparents, but Noah can play in the backyard.”
He leads us through the wooden gate to his yard, where there is a small playset just Noah’s size. The grass is thick and lush under our feet, so I kick off my shoes.
“You haven’t stopped by just to chat for ages,” Levi says with a quirked eyebrow. “Seems you’ve been too busy for your big brother.”
“Something like that,” I admit. “I know Aaron is your captain, and that makes things complicated for you. But I just… How did you know that you wanted to take things seriously with Amy?”
Levi takes a deep breath and blows it out loudly. He runs one hand down his face, a telltale sign that he’s gathering his thoughts. Knowing how hard it is to talk about the reason he’s widowed, I stay quiet and wait.
“She changed my world,” he begins, his voice low and gentle. “Before everything, she was bright. Vibrant. She had this zeal for life, a kind of infectious enthusiasm that made me want to live, too. Eventually, I decided I didn’t want to live that life without her.”
The weight of what he didn’t say hangs between us. Amy was a beautiful soul until the very moment that should have made her happiest: the birth of her second child. Postpartum threw her into a deep depression.
Levi and I both knew the signs, but we were so swept up in Bea’s birth that we missed them. Amy took her own life when Bea was just six months old, leaving Levi alone with two kids. She made him want to live, but she couldn’t see that future in the end.
“Is that what this is about?” Levi turns to me, taking his eyes off the playset for a change. “You’re worried that you’re going to lose Aaron like I lost Amy and you lost James?”
“Not entirely.” I avoid his eyes. “I wanted this to be casual. I don’t know if I’m ready for anything more than that. I have Noah to think about.”
“If you’re here asking me this question, I think we both know that it isn’t casual anymore,” Levi says. “If you’re not scared of losing him, then what’s the hang-up?”
“What do you think of him?” I try a different approach.