Chapter 13 #2
“I thought he was closed off when he moved to town. A bit hard to read. But he seems to have opened up. The guys like him. He’s a strong leader. Pitches in whenever someone needs him. Brave.” Levi lets a smile tug at the left corner of his mouth.
He’s not telling me anything I don’t already know about Aaron.
“But you’ll have to decide if that’s what you want,” he adds.
When he says it like that, it sounds like a no-brainer.
Aaron has a steady career, doing work that we both believe in. His values align with mine, and he’s the kind of man I could see stepping up to help raise Noah. The kind of man who would stick around for him.
“I think that’s what I needed to hear today,” I sigh, after I mull it over for a few minutes. “Thank you.”
“For telling you the truth about one of my men?” Levi laughs and wraps a heavy arm around my shoulders, pulling me into a side hug. “I would tell you anything you wanted to know. I’m always here for you.”
Noah squeals from the playground, reminding us that both of us have other things to do this afternoon. Levi has endless chores, keeping up with two kids on his rare days off. And so do I.
He helps me corral Noah off the playset and back in the car. As soon as the door slams shut, the high-pitched wailing begins.
Sounds like we made a good choice leaving Levi’s house when we did. Nap time is right around the corner.
“Let’s get you in bed,” I murmur to Noah when we get home.
I read him a story, tuck him in with his favorite fleece blanket, and nestle the stuffed bunny beside him. Five minutes later, I see the pale blue veins that crisscross his eyelids as they flutter down—my cue to leave.
I head downstairs, intending to finish some housework in the quiet. Instead, I end up on the couch with the photo book in my lap again.
Last night was the first time I picked up the album in months. It’s easier simply not to think about what Noah and I lost when James died. We have never been on this earth, all three of us at the same time. There has never been any sense in wishing for more.
I flip through the pages, running my fingers over the planes of my husband’s face.
“You would have hated this,” I whisper.
He might have loved his son, maybe even enough to give up alcohol and drugs, but he would never have wanted to stay in Crown Hill. He would have hated the idea of permanent small-town living.
Unlike Aaron.
I snap the photo album shut, refusing to make a comparison. This is casual, I remind myself. James and I were anything but.
With a sigh, I lean back on the cushions and tilt my head back. Of their own accord, my eyes drift shut, and I sleep without any thought of the future.
* * *
Aaron
“Did I catch you at a bad time?”
I regret not calling before I headed to see Paige and Noah. The guys told me they had the station handled for a couple of hours, giving me a much-needed break from those four walls. I could go to the store, take a nap at home, or change the oil in my car.
Instead, I find myself on the porch of the small house, ringing the bell.
Paige answers, her hair mussed and her eyes heavier. The only time I have ever seen her look like this was when she just woke up. I peek at the watch on my wrist—late afternoon.
“No, not at all,” she answers, rubbing her eyes. “Noah was taking a nap, and I just…”
“Needed to take one with him?”
She laughs and stands back from the door to let me in.
I walk inside, breathing in the familiar air. Her home always smells like apples and cinnamon, courtesy of the fragrance she plugs in near the kitchen.
Upstairs, Noah begins to cry.
“I’m sorry. You just got here, and I should go—” Paige starts to say, but I don’t let her finish.
“I’ve got this,” I assure her, confidently striding up the stairs to the room in the middle of the hall.
As soon as I open the door, Noah sits up in his tiny toddler bed. His fine brown hair stands straight up from the static electricity of his fleece blanket. A toothy grin breaks across his face.
“My man,” I greet him loudly.
I cross the room and sit down on the edge of his bed, my weight shifting the mattress to the side. Without a second thought, he climbs into my lap and tucks his head under my chin.
Warmth spreads through my chest.
“Let’s get you out of that diaper,” I announce, swinging him up and around. A giggle escapes him as he lands on the cushion atop the changing table.
Noah and I keep up a steady stream of chatter. I tell him all about the guys at the firehouse while he babbles up at me. I imagine he might be telling me about his day with Paige, something I wasn’t privy to.
“Am I interrupting?” Paige leans against the doorframe, her curvy body silhouetted by the darkness of the hall.
“Nope. We were just having a man-to-man conversation.”
She enters the room just as I’m setting Noah down from the changing table. The soft smile on her face is unlike any I’ve seen on her. It’s gentle, reflective. The kind of smile she probably only reserves for Noah.
Only this time, it’s directed at me.
There are only a handful of people on this earth who look at me that way. It sparks something in my chest—not desire, but a sense of belonging. The feeling of coming home. Of family.
She walks past Noah, who is diving into a bin of toys, and straight into my arms. Quickly, I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her into me as tightly as I can. Like Noah, she tucks her head under my chin.
“What did I do to deserve this?” I ask playfully, tugging at the ends of her hair.
“You’re just so good with him,” she whispers. “I really like seeing this side of you. Not just the firefighter doing his thing.”
When she leans back to look at me, I don’t waste a second. I press my lips to hers, the very thing I have been waiting to do all day.
For once, I’m not the one responsible for deepening our kiss. Paige wraps her arms around my neck, granting me access to her full lips. She presses into me harder, her breasts molded to my chest. Of course, she has no idea what that does to me—but she will soon.
In the span of a heartbeat, the tenderness turns into heat and pent-up desire. Like this is what has been on her mind all day, instead of work and puppies and Noah.
Because she is shorter than me, she has to rise on her tiptoes to press hard on my lips. But she does, her teeth colliding with the corner of my mouth.
I tilt her face up again, letting her bite my bottom lip this time. At my sharp exhale, she takes encouragement and sucks it into her mouth. I keep one ear out for Noah, but this kiss makes it hard to think about anything but Paige.
Her heat. Her warmth. Her body pressed against mine.
The things I would do to her right now.
It’s getting hard to remember why we can’t do this until I hear the tiny giggle from the corner.
It feels like we’re two teenagers, stealing a moment that might not truly belong to us. It feels like we’re getting more than we deserve, more than we should have.
At the feel of Noah tugging at my leg, I laugh and pull back reluctantly. Paige starts when I pull back, no doubt feeling like I rejected her, until she sees Noah demanding our attention.
“We can pick this up later,” she promises.
“No can do,” I sigh, scooping Noah up and heading downstairs to more neutral ground. “I’m here for a limited time. Got a short break from the station, but I still have a 24-hour shift.”
She groans. “Of course, you have a long shift on the one night I have off for a while.”
“We’ll figure something out. This isn’t our last chance to have a little alone time.”
I’m trying to be optimistic, but the idea of spending too many nights away from her makes my heart ache.
“Let me at least invite you to dinner,” she says from the bottom of the stairs. “Maybe the café, so you’re close to the station if they need you?”
“You’re just trying to capitalize on my free coffee.”
“I’d do anything for some free diner coffee,” she yawns. “But seriously, I could use a cup of coffee right now if I’m going to get anything done tonight.”
“The café it is, then.” I grab my keys from the bowl by the door. It feels so normal to have my keys here, mingled with hers.
She slips on her shoes, grabs her wallet, and snags Noah’s bag from the hook.
“Oh,” she says, heading back toward the house. “I forgot that we’ll have to take my car. For Noah’s car seat.”
“Problem already solved.” I borrowed a car seat from one of the guys at the station, on the off-chance Paige would want to go somewhere with me. It’s easier to take my car in case I have to rush to work.
“Do you always think of everything?” She leans in and kisses me again.
“Not always, but I’m trying.”
I don’t tell her that I’m already thinking about our next date and the one after that. She wants to date casually, and I’m willing to pretend that I can do that with her.
Hopefully, I can soon convince her that I’m in this for real.