Chapter Twenty-Four
Evan braces himself, takes a breath, and knocks on the Ramos’s front door.
He’s prepared himself for this moment, the worst of the stages—Servitude. Last time, the Ramos’s threw everything at him. It felt like a never-ending list of chores and duties. Now, he’s ready for anything they throw at him. In his backpack, he brought kneepads, gardening gloves, sunscreen, anything he could think of that he might need doing service for the family, even a first aid kit just in case. Whole-ass mode.
Last night, during Facetime with his dad, his father asked Evan what he was packing for.
“I have to be prepared,” he said after he explained what the Five Stages are in the Filipino tradition and how he was trying to win Dalisay back. “Stage four is where I go to her family and serve them, showing that I can be responsible and dependable.”
“You want to go through all of that again?” his dad asked. “Are you up for that?”
“It is hard work, but Dalisay is worth it.” He wasn’t going to let his dad talk him out of anything again. “I love her.”
His dad took a deep breath and stared off toward the garden from his seat on the patio, soaking up the bright sun. “Well …,” he started to say, then paused before trying again. “Relationships are like a garden. They need to be cultivated, cared for. There will be weeds, that’s something you have to come to terms with, but things will grow anyway.”
“A garden metaphor? Really?”
His dad chuckled. “I thought you would appreciate the literary nature of it.” He took another moment before saying, “Your mother and I, we didn’t do any of that. We off-loaded a lot on each other, and it spilled over onto you. For that, I’m sorry.”
Evan had never heard his dad apologize before. He didn’t know how to reply.
“Learn from my mistakes. Communication is key,” his dad continued. “Never leave the unsaid thing for later. Trust your gut and you can’t go wrong.”
Evan takes that to heart.
At Dalisay’s house, Evan knocks again on the door after not hearing anything at first and this time frenzied footsteps hurry down the stairs. The door opens to reveal Melinda.
She carries an infant swaddled in her arms, and deep, dark circles run under her eyes, but her face breaks into a relieved smile when she sees him.
“Oh, thank God,” she says. The baby starts fussing and Melinda makes gentle shushing noises.
Evan is taken aback. Somehow, he’d forgotten that she was due to give birth. Where did the time go? “Whoa! A baby! Congratulations!” he says.
Melinda lets out an exasperated sigh and smiles. “Yeah. It’s a lot!”
Inside the house, Evan can hear Little Luis’s scream, piercing through the air and making Melinda wince. It must be tough raising a rambunctious toddler and baby at the same time. She smiles apologetically, but Evan can tell she’s at the end of her rope.
“I’m here to help,” Evan says. “Anything you and the family need, I’m more than happy to be of service.”
“Perfect,” Melinda says. “I’ve got my hands full with baby Rosie. I need someone to look after Little Luis. I don’t care what you do, just get him out of the house.”
As if summoned like a demon from hell, Little Luis appears at the head of the stairs holding a plastic baseball bat. He smacks the railings and laughs maniacally, wild-eyed and obviously planning some mass chaos.
“Everyone else is out,” Melinda says. “I can’t put the baby down, I haven’t taken a shower—”
It’s clear she could go on forever. Evan stops her before she loses her breath. “It’s okay, I can take him off your hands for a few hours.”
“All day.”
“All day?” Evan asks.
“All day! All day! All day!” Little Luis chants, thrusting his baseball bat over his head like a gladiator pumped with bloodlust.
Evan swallows a lump in his throat. He knows his dad told him to trust his gut, and right now his gut is telling him to be afraid, be very afraid. But of course, he can’t say no.
Evan smiles at the terrible two-year-old. “We’ll make an adventure of it, right, buddy?”
Little Luis seems to know exactly what he’s getting into, his lips curling.
Melinda says to Evan, “Good luck!”
Evan takes Little Luis to the San Francisco Zoo. Some of his favorite childhood memories were of his parents bringing him here to see the giraffes and rhinos. It’s been years since he’s set foot in the zoo, but he’s surprised by how little it’s changed. Memories come flooding back to him: riding the carousel, taking the Little Puffer train around Bear Country, and getting face to face with a lion behind thick glass. He decides that Little Luis deserves to have those kinds of memories too.
Despite Little Luis’s predilection for chaos, the day starts off spectacularly. They walk through the African Savanna while Evan points out the kudus and gorillas, and he likes watching Little Luis’s eyes go wide as his brain undoubtably melts at the sight of them. Kids love animals, it’s an easy win.
As the day progresses, Little Luis becomes even more manageable than Evan ever hoped. Evan expected Little Luis would get cranky and start throwing a temper tantrum, but instead he’s the one who leads Evan by the hand to see the bears and the lions and the anteaters. He sort of reminds Evan of himself when he was that age, full of curiosity and wonder. His interests just needed to be directed in the right place. One day Little Luis might even make for a good travel writer if he really wants to be one.
They eat lunch at the cafe and watch the flamingos stand in the shallow waters of the pond. Little Luis does his best impression of a leaping lemur, much to the amusement of other visitors. When he gets tired, he even accepts Evan’s offer to let him ride on his shoulders.
Evan buys Little Luis a lion balloon and Little Luis has a steel-like grip on the string as they continue to walk through the zoo. Evan’s only goal today is to tucker this little tot out so that Melinda can finally get some peace and quiet. This is the least he can do to help out the family. In fact, Evan starts to think it’s one of the few things he might actually be good at. Little Luis and Evan may have started out rough with introductions, but Evan is truly starting to think he could manage having a kid of his own someday. Hopefully with Dalisay. But he’s getting ahead of himself. It’s still early. She could always say no at stage five, but … He has to believe in something.
At the koala exhibit, Evan’s stomach starts to hurt. A quick, sharp churn that sends a shudder through him. But it passes quickly enough, just in time to see Little Luis trip and fall, letting his balloon go.
He cries out, on the verge of a meltdown, but Evan checks him over. He’s not hurt.
“You’re okay, buddy,” Evan says, putting him back on his feet.
Little Luis’s eyes are rimmed with tears and his chin wobbles. But after he looks at Evan, finding reassurance in his face that he really is okay, his eyes go skyward.
“Balloon,” he whimpers, pointing.
It’s stuck on a branch overhead.
The ramification of what just happened sinks in. Like Willem Dafoe in Platoon, Little Luis falls to his knees, his arms stretched overhead, as if pleading for the balloon to come back to him.
“We’ll get you another one,” Evan says.
Little Luis’s face screws up, and more tears fill his eyes.
“Uh-oh” is all Evan gets to say before Little Luis has a full-on tantrum in the middle of the sidewalk. Passersby stare, giving them a wide berth, as they watch the toddler scream his head off.
Evan tries to shush him, but he knows people are watching and judging him.
“I’ll get you a new one, I promise!” Evan assures over the noise. He winces as his stomach cramps again.
“No!” Little Luis screams, pounding his fists into the pavement. “NO! NO! Balloon! Mine!”
Evan looks around for help, but most people give him sympathetic smiles or avoid eye contact. They must think he’s an awful parent. His stomach churns once more. Something is definitely happening in there. He might be getting sick. He’s not in the mood to deal with this right now. There is only one way to get Little Luis to stop screaming.
Evan looks around, checks for anyone in a khaki vest or wearing a walkie-talkie, then he gets up and starts climbing the fence to the koala enclosure. The balloon is snagged on a branch just close enough where, if Evan can get up there, he can grab it.
While Evan climbs, Little Luis screams and carries on, his voice echoing through the zoo no doubt, and Evan’s heart pounds as he climbs even higher on the fence. He knows he’ll get in big trouble if he’s caught, but he’ll get in big trouble if the Ramoses find out he let Little Luis cause mayhem over a stupid balloon.
He gets halfway up the fence when he stretches out, his fingers just barely missing the string. Little Luis keeps screaming, “Balloon! Balloon!” and passersby watch as Evan tries and fails to grab it.
Sweat breaks out on his forehead as he stretches out farther than ever, his muscles straining, and finally he’s got it. He climbs back down from the fence and Little Luis’s face brightens. In an instant, he stops screaming, as if Evan flipped a switch, and he goes back to being the happy, carefree toddler skipping away toward the orangutan enclosure.
“Hey! You!” a voice barks, making Evan whip around. It’s a security guard, running right for him. Busted.
Evan’s moving before he realizes what he’s doing. He scoops up Little Luis, who giggles happily, and Evan runs with him, full tilt, as the security guard’s boots thunder behind in hot pursuit. Instinct kicks in and Evan feels like prey in the savanna as Little Luis bobs in his arms, laughing his head off. At least one of them is having a good time.
Evan dodges through the crowd, weaving through the masses, trying to get lost in the fray. His stomach churns again, adding more sweat to his forehead, but he can’t stop. He can’t get caught.
Eventually, he breaks through the crowd and looks behind him. There’s no sign of the security guard. He lets out a sigh of relief. He can’t believe he just did that. But a part of him is exhilarated by his evasion of zoo security.
He sets Little Luis down on the ground but Little Luis holds up his hands toward him. “Again! Again!”
Evan feels awful. His stomach twists and turns, and saliva gathers at the back of his throat, and not because he’s just escaped the long arm of the law. “Next time, buddy,” he says, patting Little Luis on the head. Sweat drips down his pits and more settles in the small of his back. “You’re going to get me in so much trouble,” Evan says to him.
Little Luis grins at Evan and clutches his balloon like it’s his most sacred treasure.
Evan presses his fist into his stomach to ease the pain and catches his breath while Little Luis wanders toward the penguin island. Something is really going on in his gut, but he’s not sure if it’ll pass.
“Evan?” He knows that voice.
Evan turns around and his stomach drops. “Becca!”
His ex-girlfriend hasn’t changed a bit. Her blond hair is pulled up into a bun, secured with a headband, and her blue eyes are the same color as the sea just next door. Even in waders and carrying a bucket of dead fish, she looks fantastic.
“Hey!” He tries to sound enthusiastic and friendly, despite the roiling in his gut.
Becca’s eyes go to Little Luis, who is threatening to wander off. Evan grabs him by the arm, securing him in place, and Little Luis laughs.
Before she can ask if he’s his, Evan says, “I’m babysitting.”
Becca holds up her fish bucket. “I’m working.”
“I thought you were in Boston.”
“I was!” she says. “But a position opened up here to care for the penguins and I missed San Francisco. Are you still at Overnight?”
“I am, yeah,” he says, heat rising on his face. “I had no idea you were in town.”
“Yeah, well …,” she says, trailing off. “I didn’t want it to be awkward.”
Evan’s stomach makes an odd gurgling sound and he muffles it with his fist. They stand in silence for a second, neither of them knowing what to say.
“Are you doing okay?” he asks, bridging the silence.
“Yeah! I’m good. Are you?”
“Totally!” This is about as awkward as it can get. At one point, he thought he was going to marry her, but then she left, and now here she is, standing in front of him again. He’s not quite sure what to do.
“Are you seeing anyone or …?” she asks.
“Uh, yeah, actually. She’s, uh …” He’s not sure if he should say more. Will it make her jealous? Is she going to take it personally that he’s moved on? But Becca doesn’t look disappointed, she actually laughs. “How did you know?” he asks.
“You look happier,” she says. “It’s all over your face.”
“Really?”
“Yeah,” she says, smiling slightly. “I’m glad you’re doing better.”
“You don’t think I was happy when I was with you?”
Becca considers it for a moment, squinting in the bright afternoon light and tapping a finger on the bucket handle. “I think when you’re with the right person, you just know. There’s not much more to it than that. You might not have realized it at the time. But I think we both knew we weren’t right for each other,” she says.
Deep down, Evan knows she’s right. They weren’t meant to be, like they were riding on the same highway but in different cars going along until the route diverged, taking her one way and him another.
Suddenly, he realizes that maybe they both ended up where they were supposed to be. And he met Dalisay. Evan really did trust his gut by staying in San Francisco. If he hadn’t, he never would have met the girl of his dreams.
Little Luis is starting to get fussy. He wants to see the penguins. He pushes against Evan’s hand, straining to go. Evan plants another hand on him, keeping him locked in place. “I hope we can still be friends, though?” he says to Becca.
They may have broken up, but that can’t mean they need to treat each other like strangers.
Becca smiles. “Yeah. I think so. I’m single if you know of any leads.”
“Yeah,” he says, trying to smile back. “I do …” He has a few people in mind, but his stomach twists, making him queasy.
“Are you okay? You’re looking a little … green.”
“All good!” Evan lies, trying to ignore the saliva gathering at the back of his throat.
Becca starts walking toward the penguins. “Well, it was good seeing you!”
She leaves and not a moment too soon. Evan’s stomach lurches. He knows what’s happening, but he can’t stop it. He claps his hand over his mouth and rushes to the nearest trash can, puking up his lunch with such intensity most other visitors flee in case whatever it is, is contagious. His hot dog and nacho combo tastes horrible coming back up.
Little Luis laughs as food poisoning makes Evan’s life miserable.
Evan stops puking long enough to lift his head and wipe his mouth when he sees a security guard standing in front of him, arms folded, frowning.
“Had enough of climbing fences?” the security guard asks.
Evan smiles, guiltily, but lurches when more puke comes up. Little Luis just laughs and laughs.
Finally home, Evan lets Little Luis run up to the door.
“Momma!” Little Luis cries when it opens. Instead of Melinda, it’s Dalisay. She must have seen them from the living room window.
“Come on, little monster. Did you have fun?” she asks as Little Luis darts inside to show off his souvenir to his mom.
Evan is exhausted and sore and a little sunburned and mostly puke free but it’s all okay now that Dalisay is here. She smiles at him, an amused look in her eye. “You survived,” she says.
Evan holds up his fists in victory.
“He looks like he had a good time,” Dalisay says, tipping her head toward Little Luis.
“Then my work here is done, unless …”
“No, no more from you today.”
Good, he thinks, relieved. He’s not sure he has much gas left in him after what he went through. He almost fell asleep on the bus on the way back.
Dalisay gives him a shy smile and tucks her hair behind her ears, her hand fiddling with the doorknob. It’s as if she’s debating whether to go back inside.
Evan wants to talk to her. He realizes this is the longest they’ve spoken since they broke up. What comes after stage four: The Sequel? He knows the tradition requires him to keep his distance, to continue to be of service to her family until he proves how useful he can be. But how can he pretend to be a stranger? It’s excruciating.
It hurts turning away from her; he knows he has to, but every muscle in his body is screaming at him to turn back around and grab her tightly and hold on to her and tell her how much he’s missed her. But he can’t. He clenches his teeth, steeling himself against every desire, and walks down the driveway, but Dalisay’s voice makes him stop.
“I’m planning to take a walk on the waterfront tomorrow. At the pier,” she says. “It’s supposed to be a nice day.”
He turns to see the look on her face, the openness, the want.
Evan’s heart skips a beat. Is she doing what he thinks she’s doing? He licks his lips, shifting his weight from hip to hip, and takes a hesitant step forward. Either he can be reading into things or this is the breakthrough he’s been waiting for. He watches her for a moment, his whole body vibrating, and she looks back, expectantly, waiting for his answer. Color rises in her cheeks and he knows, if he doesn’t shoot his shot now, he might lose her forever.
“Well, since I’ve been permanently banned from the zoo, I think the pier would be a great place to take a walk tomorrow.”
Dalisay barks out a laugh. “You what?”
Evan sighs, smiling. “It’s a long story … Maybe we can talk about it over some ice cream.”
Dalisay nips at her lower lip and looks at her feet. When she looks back up at him, her eyes sparkle like the night sky. “Ice cream sounds amazing.”