Chapter 20 #2
“Oh, my Gods, Jack…”
“Sylvi, if it hadn’t been for me, Yulreth would’ve never been able to erect their shields, and my mother’s army would’ve swept through their realm. The failed campaign was my fault; I’m a traitor to my own kingdom.”
Sylvi couldn’t take her eyes off me, as if she was too afraid to blink, too afraid to even breathe.
“Now you see why I didn’t want to tell you?”
The only sound between us was that of the crackling wood in the fire and the distant murmurs of the camp.
“Say something, Sylvi. Please.”
After a few more agonizing silent breaths… “Your mother would have you hanged, Jack.” Her voice shook, almost as if she didn’t want to utter the words.
I nodded. “Along with anyone else with knowledge of what I’d done. Do you understand now why I had to keep it from you?”
“Does Ravin know?”
I lowered my gaze, knowing the truth of that would gut her, but I was done hiding things from her.
“You trusted him, but not me?”
“He’s not a royal guard, Syl. He didn’t take an oath to protect the kingdom. And Ravin…he’s not you. The thought of you or your family being prosecuted because of me, simply for knowing about what I did…”
She shifted on the furs, her body vibrating with something close to anger.
“It wasn’t up to you to make that choice for me, Jack.
You’re my godsdamned best friend. I would’ve never betrayed your trust, regardless of my oath.
I was following your mother’s orders, yes, but for Skadi’s sake, I’m a soldier.
That’s what soldiers do. But that didn’t mean I supported your mother’s decision to invade Yulreth.
You really thought I would choose her over you? ”
My stomach tightened. “Not my mother, Syl, Skadgard. I know how much your oath means to you. Did I fear your choice? I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a part of me that couldn’t help feeling a pang of terror at that thought, but the real reason I didn’t tell you wasn’t because I was afraid you wouldn’t be on my side, but because I simply didn’t want to put you in a position where you would have to choose.
And if you did choose me, that choice could’ve been your doom—still can be, for fuck’s sake. ”
She leaned in and cupped my jaw again. “You stupid fool. I will always be on your side. And I don’t give a damn if that means I’d have to share a cell or a noose with you.”
“It killed me not to tell you, Syl. You must believe me. It’s why I went looking for you at The Stag. I was going to confess everything, and then…”
I paused, remembering the moment I saw her dancing with Leoric, rage awakening inside me, that slumbering beast opening one eye, then another, that inky-black darkness of its magic stirring in my blood.
Lowering her hand from my face, Sylvi tilted her head, her eyes narrowing in that curious way she did when she was close to solving a puzzle. “So…that was you I saw lurking in the shadows.”
I turned from her, ashamed of my actions that night. “I wasn’t lurking.”
“Then why not come up to me? Why hide?”
I propped up my knees, resting my elbows on them, eyes fixed on the shadows bleeding between the trees across the lake.
I puffed a breath, trying—and failing—to exhale the fury coiled tight in my chest. “When I saw you with him,” I said, jaw tight, voice flat, “…dancing, laughing with Leoric, I realized maybe you were better off not knowing the truth. What right did I have to ruin your happiness by dragging you into my mess?”
“My happiness?” she snapped in disbelief.
My eyes flicked to hers. “Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about, Syl.
I saw you. Gods, the way he was holding you, touching you, as if you already belong to him…
And you…” My voice cracked. “You looked at him like he was the sun, and you were desperate for his warmth.” My fists clenched so tight I felt my nails bite into my palms.
Eyes wide, she stared at me as if seeing me for the first time, and perhaps she was, because this version of me, the one where the mere thought of Leoric’s hands caressing her made me want to rip his spine right out of his back, was a monster I didn’t recognize, either.
“There’s nothing between me and Leoric, Jack,” she said, almost stunned. “I turned down his marriage proposal. You know that.”
I pulled his letter from the inside of my trousers, the wax seal unbroken, still marked with that damn, polished crest. “Does he know that?” I asked, my voice rough. “Because he came to the palace, demanding this be given to you.”
She took it from me, her fingers brushing mine. “How long have you had this?”
“Ravin gave it to me earlier today. Said the sea merchant came looking for you after he heard what happened.”
Her gaze drifted up to meet mine, confusion creasing around her eyes. “Why did he give it to you?”
“Does it matter?”
“It was addressed to me, Jack.”
“Does it worry you that I might have read it?”
She looked down at the unbroken seal, then back at me. “No. I know you wouldn’t. But that’s not the point.” She paused, then said, “There’s nothing in this letter I’d need to hide from you. I meant it when I said no more secrets.”
“Then open it,” I challenged, voice edgier than I intended. “Let’s see what Master Vaelmoor has to say.”
Her eyes flared with heat, and she stood so fast she nearly stumbled into the fire. “You know what? I don’t like your tone. You’ve got some godsdamned nerve acting jealous when we’re on an envoy to go pick up your future fucking wife.”
She pivoted away, about to leave my dumb ass behind, but without thought I reached up and grabbed her wrist, gently pulling her down toward me.
To my surprise, she didn’t fight me when I laid her down on the fur blanket, my body bracing over hers.
A tinge of disappointment flushed all over my skin when she didn’t push hard against my chest, when she didn’t bark insults at my face.
I loved it when we sparred, and fuck me if my blood wasn’t hankering for the adrenaline rush usually spiked by one of our fights.
Instead, she just stared up at me, firelight dancing in her eyes, flickering like tiny sunbursts over stormy seas.
That dewy, almost molten need I’d seen flashing in the depths of her gaze when we’d clashed swords in the maze nights ago reappeared, and I knew I was fucked.
Because this version of her was deadlier than any insult or blade she could wield against me.
Her chest rose and fell in quick, shallow breaths, her cloak loosened just enough for the blue-tinted light reflected off the ice shield behind us to catch on the exposed curve of her delicate neck.
My eyes drifted to the white lock of hair streaking from her temple, gleaming like frost. It looked thicker, longer than I remembered—an impossibility I chose to ignore for the moment.
Instead, I curled a finger around the silken strand, fighting the urge to undo the rest of her braid just to bury my hands in her hair.
My gaze roamed her face, devouring every detail like I was seeing her for the first time.
“Gods, Sylvi…you’re so fucking beautiful. ”
Her pinked, pillowy lips parted, revealing a slight glimpse of her wet tongue.
Náldrún curse me…
The tilt of her jaw, the tremble in her breath… This time I couldn’t suppress the images that birthed in my mind of all the depraved things I wanted to do to that luscious mouth of hers, especially as she licked her lips, causing them to glisten like a red apple dipped in glaze.
I leaned in, my hand gently cupping her face, thumb tracing the full curve of her bottom lip. She shivered, and I doubted it was from the cold.
Her back arched, just slightly, the swell of her breasts pressing against my chest. She closed her eyes, letting out a breathy little moan that shot straight to my groin. Every muscle in my body pulled taut, blood rushing south with a vengeance.
I growled, lowering myself closer until our lips nearly brushed.
My thumb parted her mouth a little more, our breaths tangling, her intoxicating moans vibrating deep in my chest. Each sound she made thrummed my already raging hardness.
“Gods,” I hissed, my voice turning to smoke.
“You’ve no idea the wicked, filthy things I want to do to you right now… ”
She opened her eyes slowly, lashes heavy. “You talk too much,” she whispered, voice like warm wax dripping onto my skin.
My lips twitched with a smirk. “Always such a brat.”