Chapter 18 #4
And our relationship just started to heal, thanks to their women.
We finished all the inheritance and trust fund paperwork, and I finally opened my very first bank account and even bought everyone gifts.
It felt surreal to pay for something with my own card.
I requested to open up an account that would pay for expensive plastic surgeries that people might need after accidents but can’t afford.
Plus, I set up scholarships for people over thirty who want to finally pursue university degrees to make it easier for them.
I’d think about other things once I finish my degree and decide which direction I want to take my life.
My brothers also make more effort to meet up with me.
They came up with a new family tradition: having dinner with just the three of us every Thursday.
It felt weird and awkward at first, but it slowly got better.
They even told me stories about our parents, sharing some pictures that Orion managed to save, and it was so good to at least know Mom and Dad through their eyes.
Our sibling relationship is evolving toward something beautiful, and the idea of ruining it kills me.
“Are your brothers happy?”
“Yes. Of course.”
“Do you think they deserve happiness?”
“Yes!”
After our fucked-up childhood, no one deserves it more than them. Our parents would have been proud of them.
Me, not so much, I think, considering how my life is a complete mess because I chose to be a coward once upon a time.
I should have spoken up the minute my brothers came for me. Maybe we would have punished Jade earlier, and I wouldn’t have lost so much time.
Then again, I was too traumatized to think rationally, and Rush was too blinded by revenge, so the outcome would have probably been the same anyhow.
“Then why do you deny the same happiness for yourself?”
I still at this, sighing. “Because my happiness might affect theirs, and there is no guarantee it would last.”
“No relationship in the world can give you guarantees.” She puts the notepad and pen away, leaning forward.
“He’s young and educated, according to you.
Way more sexually experienced, I assume?
” At this point, my cheeks might just burn for eternity.
“You didn’t seduce him to feel bad about his age. And he seems to know his own mind.”
“Well, that’s hardly an excuse on my part—”
“Do you think Emmaline and Aileen don’t know their own mind?”
I blink at the swift change of subject. “No. They know what they want.”
My sisters-in-law are very kind and generous, but also stubborn and career-driven, which matches well with my brothers' temperaments and characters. Despite their age difference, they have a very well-balanced relationship, and I never felt like they didn’t fit.
That’s when the bulb lights up in my head.
“Oh.”
“Yes, oh.” Phoenix smiles, guessing my thoughts, and sometimes I wish I could be a psychiatrist or psychologist myself because this ability to read people so well is something I strive for. She glances at her wristwatch. “We need to finish for now. I’m really happy with all the progress, Lavender.”
I put the cushion back in its place and grab my purse. “Thank you for all your help.”
“These sessions are not about me. They are about you. Thank yourself for all the progress you’ve made.
” We both get up, and she pats me on the shoulder.
“And one more thing. Your brothers are great men. Being great, though, doesn’t mean you have to live your life the way you think they’d want.
They’re capable of protecting themselves, and should your relationship cause chaos…
everyone is old enough to handle their own emotions. ”
“Okay.”
I give her a hug and get out of her office, passing through the hallway until I’m outside. I inhale the fresh air into my lungs, welcoming the warmth on my skin as honking sounds echo around me and people move quickly.
The world moves on no matter what happens.
Why can’t I?
Would it be so bad to let this thing with Levi flourish?
Not into the future, of course—a man like him will not choose a woman like me to spend his life with—but as no longer a dirty secret anymore?
I don’t want to be hidden in the shadows, even if it was my choice in the first place.
Gordon already has the door open for me, and giving him a small smile, I slide inside the car. The phone vibrates in my purse, and I snatch it out.
Do you like it, moy cvetochek?
My eyes widen at the sapphire bracelet, the stones so clear that one might see their reflections in them, along with small diamonds surrounding the larger stones.
However, this is not what has my attention.
It’s the name Thor, written in runes all around it, reminding me of the special talismans people used to wear to protect themselves and show their devotion to certain gods.
For whatever reason, Levi seems to have a soft spot for things like this.
It’s beautiful. Where did you get it?
I’d think it’s an antique piece except no one made jewelry like this back in the day.
Isabella designed it for me.
She’s amazing for such a young age.
I don’t care about Isabella.
His being this cold and rude whenever we talk about random things seemed strange to me at first. I got used to it over time.
Levi’s don’t care usually means I do not wish to talk about it, and that’s that.
That’s my gift to you.
I gasp just as Gordon gets into the car, and his brow furrows in the rearview mirror as he glances at me. “Everything all right?” he mouths, and I nod so he relaxes a bit. He’s probably waiting for my instructions, but I’m too preoccupied with the conversation to tell him anything.
I can’t accept that!
Expensive books and various antiques are one thing. I can always pass those as if I bought them myself.
I won’t ever be able to explain this piece of jewelry, and it would be a shame to hide it in my box.
It was made for you, and you will wear it.
While his dominant nature is hot as hell in bed, it annoys me to no end outside of it.
Is that so?
Yes. Besides, it’s my gift to celebrate our one-month anniversary. So it’s rude to refuse it, wouldn’t you say?
My heart flips inside my chest, warmth spreading into every cell in my body while butterflies erupt in my stomach at his words.
I’m so afraid and guarded when the man in question never did anything to hurt me sans that disastrous engagement party.
Would it be so bad to accept it for what it is and just take the leap?
We have a secret affair, remember?
And if you remember, I said you can call it whatever you wish as long as you understand that you’re mine.
You are never going to give up, are you?
Be still my heart. I think we’re finally making some progress.
Laughter spills from me, and pressing the phone to my chest, I come to two conclusions at once.
I have no idea what relationships are like as Levi is my first everything. So far, it’s pretty hot, fun, and lets me uncover new sides of myself.
Why should I hide away from the world?
Granted, I’d still prefer for my brothers to find out after Rush’s wedding to avoid any drama, but it’s just a month away.
Phoenix is right. No one can give me guarantees, and maybe chasing them is what brings me unhappiness, as I’m not truly living. Instead, I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Thirty years of never-ending fear and suffering, and I deserve more.
I owe it to my young self, who sacrificed everything to save herself and survived to be happy and brave.
Teenage Lavender didn’t suffer so I could endure.
She suffered so I could thrive, and thrive I shall.
“Where to?”
“Levi’s home.”
Gordon smiles, starts the engine, and joins the cars on the road.
The perks of having staff who likes you are that your secrets are safe with them, and my driver proved his loyalty when he never said a word to my brothers.
Granted, I haven’t gone to Levi’s mansion since that first time, preferring to meet up in the city to avoid stumbling into his family. I know he’s there now, working on something.
At least that’s what he implied.
I never sought him out myself. He initiated all our encounters and planned everything.
So this is me making a bold move.
“You’re doing the right thing, Lavender.” Gordon stops at a traffic light and looks over his shoulder at me. “Levi is a good choice. He might be young, but there is wisdom in him that is hard to find.”
At this moment, I realize that while his approval is nice, I don’t need it, and it doesn’t matter what my brothers might think either.
Levi doesn’t have to be a good choice for anyone but me.
And if all this works for me, why should I care about anyone else?
* * *
Gordon passes by the security guard, who opens the gates for us, and it takes us less than a minute to park by the house.
“I’ll spend the night here.” Even if Levi is not home, I’ll wait for him. “Consider it your evening off.”
“I’m just one phone call away.” I pat him on the shoulder and grab my purse to get out. “Lavender.” I turn to my driver once again. “Not everything is what it seems.”
What the hell is that supposed to mean?
“All right. Have a nice evening.”
Closing the door, I rush toward the entrance and go up the stairs as the massive double doors open, and Gavin greets me, a deep wrinkle forming between his brows at the sight of me.
“Miss Wright. What a surprise.” His tone is so lifeless it’s hard to guess his true feelings on the matter. “Levi didn’t mention you were coming.”
“My visit is unannounced.”
“I see.”
Awkward silence stretches between us, interrupted only by the loud wooden clock somewhere in the distance. “Is he home?”
Another long pause and I see a slight worry flashing in his eyes before he finally replies, “No. You can wait for him upstairs.”
Well, it’s one thing to come to his home unannounced and quite another to go his room without him.
“I’m thirsty and hungry. I could wait for him in the living room.” I take a step toward it, and my brow rises when he stops me. “Gavin?”
“We didn’t expect any guests. We need a bit more time to prepare everything. Why don’t you rest upstairs for a little while, and I’ll call you once everything is ready?”
Okay.
Levi’s staff is truly strange because who sends a guest to the bedroom right away? They should offer me some refreshing drinks and lead me to the living room, so all this?
Is beyond bizarre.
“Gavin, is there a problem with me being here?”
“No, ma’am. I’ll call everyone right now.”
“They aren’t here?”
“They are in a separate house right now.” Well, that explains the silence, but once again, what the hell?
Shouldn’t they be home? Maybe Levi has his own rules and doesn’t like strangers sharing his space.
“Miss Wright. I hope you’re sure about your decision.
” He walks to the exit, opens it, and gets outside.
“I’ll be right back.” With this, he shuts the door behind him, leaving me standing alone in this house as thunder rocks the sky, and everything inside the castle falls into darkness.
A tremor rushes through me at this, and I go to the living room, my heels clicking soundly on the marble, only to halt my movements when I hear barely audible music.
Following the sound, I reach a wall and bite my lip, wondering how it could possibly make all that noise.
Putting my splayed palm on it, I gasp when it moves under my touch, and that’s when I realize it’s a secret door.
Dread fills my bones because it reminds me of the same thing Rush used to have on our private island, where he forbade me from entering.
The instant smell of chlorine fills my nostrils, and, pushing it wider, I notice the heavy steps leading to the basement, and even though my life taught me better…I still decide to walk down the steps as countless small light bulbs on the walls brighten up the way for me.
I’m like a moth trapped by the mesmerizing flame, trailing it, even if I suspect it will lead me to my doom.
Reaching the basement, I cover my mouth to still my sounds, because what opens up to my view is…horrible.
There is a single, huge cage in the right corner, with various chains spread across it, as if waiting to trap someone.
Tables with weapons, from knives to poisons to guns and even drills and…
Torture devices that I’ve only seen in historical books.
The more I walk around the basement, which is so huge it’s like another new dimension, the more anxiety and panic rush through me, my mind screaming at me to run away, yet I’m glued to the spot, my eyes capturing the horrors all around me.
Going farther, I notice a board with at least a hundred names, connected by arrows and a huge X, with small notes and photos attached.
Next to each photo is another of either ripped flesh or some other body parts.
Nausea hits me.
“Oh my God.”
Levi is a murderer.
No.
A serial killer who must enjoy what he does to have so many devices to prolong his crimes. And what are these photos? Trophies?
Looking under the board, I see a computer and flash drives with the names on them, which probably means he films all the atrocities committed by him as well.
“Oh my God,” I repeat, finally snapping out of my stupor and spinning around, ready to bolt, only to freeze once again when I notice nine huge screens farther to the right.
And each screen has my face on it.
Coming closer, I whisper, “Oh no.” Videos play one after another, all invading my privacy.
Videos from my apartment, university, family dinners, and my sessions with Dr. King.
I barely swallow past the bile forming in my throat, holding back the need to gag because the man I thought was a good guy…is an obsessive killer who stalked me all this time!
Another board hangs near it, and it has my whole family on it, Orion included, with similar notes and arrows, as if he designed some kind of plan.
And I’m the weapon to execute it.
The pain that envelops my heart shatters since he has probably been using me for his sick agenda, but I refuse to focus on it.
Instead, I reach for the survival mode that urges me to seek out and get help before something bad happens to me.
My brothers.
I need to go to my brothers and tell them about all this.
They’d know what to do.
How could I be so stupid? How could I have not seen this in him?
The madness that pollutes his kind cannot be missed, yet he deceived me. Now I’ve put everyone in danger.
I don’t even make two steps when an arm circles around my waist, lifting and turning me around, pressing me hard against the nearest wall. My scream reverberates through the space, and I come face-to-face with Levi.
“Caught you, moy cvetochek.”
“Let go of me,” I hiss, trying to get free, struggling in his grip, which is useless, and that’s when he wraps his hand around my throat, pressing with his thumb on my artery. “Let…go…”
“Shhhh, moy cvetochek. Save your strength for what’s to come.”
His grip on me intensifies. I expect pain, instead, my body becomes heavy, and slowly, the world around me goes black.