Chapter 21 #2
“We are nothing like Rush and Aileen.” He reels back, clearly not liking me bringing up our siblings in such a moment.
“We both suffered and have scars that still hurt us to this day, but maybe we can connect our bruised pieces and put them together in a way that’ll make sense to us.
” I slide my hand up to his nape and push even closer to him.
“I have no illusions when it comes to you and I understand you won’t change.
If you ever lose your head, though, and kill someone innocent or present a danger to anyone I love or me…
I will report you to the police and leave you.
” Cupping his cheek, I rise to my tiptoes and give him my final surrender, knowing there will be no going back from this. “I’m yours, Levi.”
Levi
Her warm lips touch mine, my body jolting at the connection because Lavender never initiated any intimacy herself. My innocent girl always waited for me to make the first move.
My hands fist, and I resist the urge to hug her and never let go, for this would mean trapping her in my hell forever, and while it was a goal of mine up until recently…
What if she regrets it down the road?
I will not have a woman who cries in the bathroom, holding her baby and trying to get away from the monster raging outside.
These images pause all my thoughts and I still when the strong rage washes over me, sparkling the all-too-familiar chaos in me anew.
Because I would never, never, allow anyone, let alone myself, to harm my child.
And somehow this shows me I could never be like Robert. I’m incapable of being cruel toward the innocent or those entrusted to me.
At once I wrap my arm around her waist, her surprised gasp rocking between us, and press her against my chest so her hands grasp the lapels of my shirt while I run my fingers through her hair.
“Someday…you will regret it,” I whisper over her mouth, wanting to step away from her embrace but not being able to reject her.
I can never reject anything of hers, she’s engraved in my soul, so it would be like hurting myself.
Lavender is a part of me, the bright and innocent part, and I will cherish her till my last dying breath.
“I won’t.”
“Be very sure, Lavender. I will never be this generous again.”
Even offering her to go was going against my very nature, so doing that shit again?
I’m not that strong.
Determination along with adoration shine in her eyes when she replies, her voice giddy, which is such a contrast to her usual emotionless tones.
My exquisite woman, for the first time, doesn’t hide her emotions.
Instead of fleeing after my confession and less-than-stellar behavior tonight, she runs toward me, and the trust she puts in me is everything.
My stunning, brave woman who thinks a fucked-up person like me is worthy of her.
“I’m sure.” She pulls at my shirt. “Now kiss me, you stubborn man.”
The need slams into me, my body growing rock hard, and my voice turns to a hushed whisper when I say, “Your wish is my command, moy cvetochek.”
Our mouths meet, her tongue peeking shyly as she licks over the seam of my lips before sliding it in and tilting her head back, deepening the angle when we lock in a heated and slow kiss.
Each passionate and addicting stroke solidifies the inferno of burning emotions that make us groan into the kiss and her fingers yank at the shirt harder, bringing us impossibly close.
The monster within me soothes, for it is the first time that someone has seen beneath his terrifying exterior and instead looked within.
I always measured my future according to my revenge.
It’s what kept me going for years and forced me to make all kinds of plans.
However, the future is no longer about him, it’s about her as Lavender is essential to my existence.
My woman. My weakness. Mine.
She nudges at my chest, so I step back as our feverish kiss continues, the lust consuming me and sending it straight to my hardening erection pushing against the zipper of my jeans, creating discomfort as only one thing can sustain it.
Her.
I trap her whimper in my throat when my hands fall to her ass, pressing her against my thick length while goose bumps break across her skin as the the rain outside intensifies.
She pushes at me again and once again, I move back while her hands sneak between us and she palms me, earning a hiss as I tear my mouth away from her.
We both gulp for air. “I think we have to resume our lessons,” she says breathily, and I harden against her palm even more while my hands dig into her hips, because our lessons?
They are the hottest thing I’ve ever experienced.
After our first time, Lavender asked me to give free rein to all her darkest fantasies and we explored her wicked mind, some of the stuff I’ve never done myself, and this made it even better. Watching her discover her pleasure in different ways while getting off on me?
Yes, that’s a sight I’ll never get used to.
The intimacy—true intimacy I’ve only learned with her. Where sex is not just a quick, detached hookup, but every breath, caress, moan, and touch matters.
“What do you have in mind?” I ask as she unhooks my belt buckle and unbuttons my pants. “You know I love your corrupted and wicked mind.”
Her melodic laughter brings much-needed lightness, casting us under its spell and wiping everything and everyone away. “Something we’ve never done before.”
I pretend to ponder on it and sigh. “Is there something we missed in that book of yours?” I chuckle when she pokes her finger into my stomach and groan as she lowers the zipper down before wrapping her hand around my length.
It pulses in her soft grip that’s nothing compered to her tight, wet heat.
“Get on the bed, moy cvetochek. We can play some other time.”
After tonight I wish to claim my woman and remind us both that we belong together.
My woman doesn’t listen to me, instead she leans forward and presses a kiss to the scarred flesh on my collarbone from when John dragged a knife through my flesh, enjoying my agonizing screams.
I’ve given her full control during our sexual encounters, meaning nothing happened without her consent as we fully focused on her.
My body existed to satisfy hers and that’s how I wanted it, because the idea of her taking her time with all my scars unsettled me.
I would always welcome her touch and never deny her, but her gentleness toward my ugliest parts rips something in my soul and threatens to open old wounds.
She pets my length one more time before letting go and her hands are back on my shirt as she starts to unbutton it as well. “Lavender.”
“Pleasing my man. That’s what I want to do.”
“You please me by breathing, moy cvetochek.”
She pushes me back, and that’s when I understand she’s guiding me toward the bed. “Flattery will get you everywhere.” She opens my shirt and removes it, letting it slide to the floor as her hot palms roam over me, hurting and healing me at the same time.
Within time she gave me permission to touch the scar on her cheek, losing all her doubts about her beauty in my eyes, but my scars…I always diverted her attention from them.
Now they seem to hold her sole focus as she she leaves soft kisses in her wake, tracing their shapes with her fingers, and I feel dampness on my chest, realizing she’s crying.
“I’m so sorry.” She drifts her lips against the one near my heart from the hot poker that burned my skin so much, the scar still gives me phantom pains sometimes.
“You must have been so scared and hopeless.” Her hands land on my abdomen, where knife scars are located.
One day John enjoyed watching me bleed and my broken arm wasn’t enough of a punishment according to him.
I force these images away. They have no place between us right now because my past might have been hideous…I survived it and while you can never forget, it’s possible to get past it.
She delivers few more pecks before leaning back, still caressing them. “They hurt me because I know how painful they are, but they also make me proud. Thank you for surviving and holding on, Levi. Otherwise you wouldn’t be with me right now.”
Her kisses, words, touch, they serve as a shield from all the bad memories still poisoning my mind and replace it with something beautiful.
Unfamiliar sensations and emotions crush into me, demanding my whole nonexistent soul because a woman like Lavender deserves all of me.
I just wish there was more of me to give her.
“I will never let you go. You do understand that, don’t you?” I ask harshly, half expecting her to come to her senses and get the hell out of here.
Mischief dances in her emerald eyes and she shoves at my chest, making me stumble backward until my calves hit the edge of the bed, and I raise my brow. “Getting violent, are we?”
“Not really.” She reaches behind and drags the zipper down on her dress, the cloth sliding to her feet, and she steps out of it, curling her bare feet into the floor.
She’s standing naked sans her lacy panties, her mesmerizing body on display to my greedy eyes that drink in every curve and dip while my hands are itching to grab her hips and let those mile-long legs wrap around me as I drive hard into her.
Patience, patience, patience.
My woman wants free rein and free rein she shall have.
She cups her full breasts, her dark brown nipples turning to hard peaks as she swipes her thumbs over them and gasps.
Desire glazes over in her stare, her long hair fallowing down her spine in waves, and the idea of any other man enjoying this sight awakens fury like a volcano erupting and burning everything around it.
“You’re mine,” I tell her, watching more goose bumps pop across her flushed skin while her stomach dips and she squeezes her breasts tighter, caressing them. “Say it.”
“Yes, I’m yours.”