Chapter 22 #4
It felt almost too intimate, but now it makes me wonder if that’s how I look at Lavender, and if it is…how come no one figured out my obsession with her then?
“My babies are here!” Mom exclaims, jumping up from the couch and putting the magazine away as Dad lazily follows suit. She opens her arms wide and hugs us both, her scent washing over me and calming the tornado raging within.
Mom’s hugs are filled with warmth, acceptance, and love, and I’ve always been addicted to her kind of sunshine, which brings light to the torn pieces of my soul.
“Hi, Mom,” we both say in unison.
“You look stunning,” I say, grinning. “And congratulations on your student winning the competition.”
“Thank you, darling. She worked hard for it.” She cups our cheeks, her voice turning stern. “I haven’t seen you both in this house for over a month. You both skipped weekly family dinners.”
Mom never restricted our freedom in any way or tried to control us. However, she had certain rules we always had to abide by.
Like having weekly dinners so we could all catch up, and making sure to call at least twice a week to show we’re both alive and well.
I guess Dad decided not to tell her he tracks our moves, pretending he goes along with her “no control” thing.
No one in this mansion breathes without his knowledge, and the only reason I got to do what I do in secret was thanks to Uncle Arson, who helped me cover it up.
“I was busy with the wedding and upcoming exams. Plus, we needed to travel to Rush’s island to do some renovations. I called.” Aileen nudges me with her elbow. “He has no excuses, though.”
I click my tongue. “So much for sibling loyalty.”
“We’re under fire. Everyone fends for themselves.”
Mom crosses her arms and looks expectantly at me. “I won’t skip dinners again.” The reason I skipped them in the first place was because I assumed Aileen was attending them.
And lying to my parents and hiding my relationship is one thing, but a whole other thing to do it in their face.
I respect them too much to do shit like that.
So after tonight, I’m claiming Lavender officially before the next dinner, and I’ll be damned if I listen to another excuse from her.
“You do that. Hi, princess. Glad to see you without your fiancé for once.” Dad pulls Aileen in his arms, giving her a kiss on the cheek. “A nice change of events.”
I share a grin with him as she groans and rolls her eyes. “You’re worse than Levi, Dad. Rush has been nothing but nice.”
“I appreciate his niceness more when he isn’t around. His absence is what makes his presence bearable.”
Mom shakes her head at us. “Don’t listen to them.” She grabs a magazine from the couch. “I saw some beautiful wedding decorations. Let’s look at them on the terrace before everyone else arrives.” She points at us. “Away from these two who just like teasing you.”
“That’s a great idea. At least someone in this family loves my man.” She links their arms as Theodore joins us. “Could you please bring me some green tea with mint and more cookies to the terrace?”
“Of course.”
“Thank you.”
They walk away, and it’s my turn to be pulled into Dad’s arms as he hugs me tight, a certain grounding stability instantly surrounding me at his presence.
Dad is the unshakable wall that served as an iron-clad fence around me, always watching over me and protecting me.
The bricks weren’t built with hate, though. They were built with love, and that’s why they never felt heavy.
He slaps me on my shoulder as we lean back. “How are you, son?”
“Great as always.”
“That’s good to hear because we need to talk.”
My brow furrows at his serious tone, and when he motions to the couch, I sit down as he goes to the bar and pours himself some whiskey.
Shit. This is going to be a serious talk.
“What do you want to talk about?”
He takes a small sip from his drink and leans against the fireplace, his face unreadable. “Lavender Wright.”
His tone and stare let me know everything. “You know.”
“Of course. You’re my son. Do you think anything goes on in this family without me knowing?”
I bite my tongue to not give any smart remarks to that.
“She’s mine.”
A ghost of a smile twitches his lips before the stern expression is back. “That might be so, but she’s a Wright. She’s a family member, and I’m particularly protective of her.”
Somehow, his staking this claim over Lavender rubs me the wrong way, which is fucking insane, because I can’t be a fool who’s possessive so much that even my father’s affection for her is jarring.
Still.
“I appreciate it, Dad.”
He chuckles, taking another sip. “No, you don’t. She’s all yours, Levi, as long as she wishes it. Cross some lines and make her unhappy, I’ll be the first one to help her end it.”
I can read between the lines well.
My father loves me and will die for me, but if I ever go against his moral code? All bets would be off, and he’ll kill me himself.
Lachlan Scott doesn’t bend the rules for anyone, even his own son, and I admire him for that.
“She’s mine,” I repeat, refusing to explain this chaos in my soul that has no explanation anyway. It grows stronger with each passing day. “And she’s willing. We hashed out our differences.”
Something flashes in his eyes, but it’s gone so fast I don’t have time to study it. Dad is the only person in the world who can confuse me, and it makes our bond even stronger.
He finds ways to challenge my mind.
My father was always a hero to me, who saved me from the desperate abyss. His darkness was far greater than mine could ever have been, and in this allowed me to become who I am today.
Without his silent guidance, who knew what my traumas might have produced? A damaged psyche is a danger to society that might manifest in the most heinous way.
I’m lucky I found the channel for my warped vices.
Dad is a man with a capital M, and no one, in my eyes, would ever live up to the high pedestal I have him on.
“Just make sure to marry the girl before you have a child.”
I get up, rolling back my shoulders and grinning at him, my voice even despite the turmoil within me. “You aren’t going to give me the talk, are you? It’s a bit late for that, Dad. No disrespect.”
Hilarious, coming from him, because when they got married, Aileen was already born, so he didn’t take his own advice.
He studies me for several beats. “You remind me so much of myself. Some things in life are inevitable, no matter what you do. That’s the tragedy and beauty of our existence, which points out how insignificant our desire to control is. What’s meant to be will happen.”
He pushes off the fireplace and puts his glass away before coming closer to me and gripping my chin, lifting it.
Dad always had this intensity about him that commanded me to act right in his presence, muting my rebellious nature.
“Two families can raise their children differently, but they might turn out all the same. You see, child of mine, certain qualities will grow in both hate and love, because a good environment and opportunities do not change anything if this has been broken.” He lets go of my chin and taps on my chest. “Once a certain part of our souls becomes hideous, there is no curing them, and that’s something hard to accept. ”
We always had deep and meaningful conversations with him. However, never of this caliber, as if hiding my vices was a useless idea, because he knew about them anyway.
“Dad—”
He pats my cheek, and as he looks at me, it’s like he sees right through the little boy who still exists within me, who wishes to run away so he wouldn’t see that he’s damaged.
Hungry for the blood of those who wronged him despite everything my family has given me.
Statistically speaking, I shouldn’t do what I do because I have all these privileges.
“Never question your place in this family, Levi. You’re our son.
Always remember that. And if Lavender is who you want, and you’re willing to go to war for this woman, we will accept her as our own.
Before you subject a woman to be your bright light in the darkness though, you have to destroy all your demons.
Otherwise, she won’t ever be truly safe from them. ”
Fuck.
Does he know?
“Dad—”
“Think about my words. You never came to me for advice, but I’m giving it nevertheless.
Also, if there's ever trouble that requires my help, tell me. I’m always here.
” He pulls me into his embrace again, tapping my back while I grow rigid in this hug, thousands of chaotic thoughts flashing in my head, yet I can’t push myself to ask the question that would confirm or deny my suspicions.
I’m not ready for the truth.
Aileen peeks her head from the terrace. “Mom is asking if you want to join us for some tea.”
“Of course,” Dad replies.
“Sweet.”
“Thanks, Dad. I know,” I say, squeezing him hard before stepping back and trying to put a lid on my emotions with some humor. “Remember when you guys had this challenge with the uncles called the princess tea parties? You even wore a tutu to appease her.”
“It’s hard to forget. Your mom framed the picture from that day and hung it proudly in our room.” We start moving toward the terrace as warmth coats his voice, so different from his earlier words. “And now my princess is getting married.”
“She’s very happy.”
“Yes. Only because Rush put his demons to rest.” I don’t even have time to comment on it as we walk outside, where Mom and Aileen sit at the table.
Theodore pours coffee into our cups because we dislike tea.
“So, princess. Tell me all about your wedding before the groom arrives and you forget everything.”
Mom laughs as I enjoy this evening, seeping the familiar calm from my family and reminding myself that, biologically, I’m Robert’s son.
That fact always affected me in the most fucked-up way.
But in my heart and soul? In all the things that truly matter?
I’m theirs, and because I’m theirs, I’m going to do what my father said and not jeopardize my future.
I owe it to the little boy I once was. To my family and friends.
Most importantly, though…
I owe it to moy cvetochek.