Chapter 23
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
“All things, good and bad, come to an end.
Any happiness is temporary and fleeting.
Because time is ruthless.
Sooner or later, we will experience the loss.
And the choice we make after such losses?
They determine the trajectory of our lives.”
Levi
Lavender
“You really didn’t have to do that,” I tell Ronan as we reach the Scotts’ mansion gates and the guards greet us, one of them jogging toward us. “They don’t allow strangers. You have to be very special.”
I groan inwardly because I so do not want to walk all the way to the mansion in these heels that turned out to be super uncomfortable. I knew I should have called Gordon when Ronan offered me a ride, claiming that he couldn’t let me go without making sure I reached my destination.
I had three glasses of champagne, which isn’t much, and while my head is a bit dizzy and I’m super happy for no reason, it’s not like I’m drunk.
He rolls down the window, and I smile at the guard, who nods at me. “Ma’am, happy to see you.” He glances at Ronan and whistles. “Open! Nice to see you again, sir.”
He steps back as the iron gates slide open and Ronan drives through them, moving toward the house with a rapid speed. “You know the Scotts?”
“Enough to be allowed on their property.”
His vague response makes my hackles rise because that can mean only one thing, and I press my back tighter to the seat, wondering if it’s something about me that attracts murderers for real.
My brother is one.
My man is one.
And now my sort of ex, too!
“I’m not a murderer.” My eyes widen in surprise, and I look at him as he turns to the right and reaches the house. “My father used to be one. He murdered more than twenty people, and I was his next victim on the list when Lachlan helped me. The rest is history.”
Once upon a time, I would have asked more questions. Now, though?
I’ve discovered the less you know, the better. Besides, if Lachlan gave him a green pass, it means he’s solid, and that’s that.
Gripping my purse, I open the door. “Thank you, Ronan, for dropping me off. I had a nice evening with you all.”
After the confessions, everyone ate and drank as if there was no tomorrow, reminiscing about high school. We even had a few slow dance songs. I refused them all, and afterward, we agreed to meet up sometime next month when everyone’s schedules would align, which might as well be never.
Still, the girls took my number, and I wouldn’t mind rebuilding our friendships.
“We started dating a few weeks before prom.” He wants to discuss our past now?
Talk about awkward. He never once spoke about us during the dinner, so I just assumed it was a topic none of us wanted to rehash.
“You were sweet and innocent. I mean…we had this connection that only two kids who grew up in an abusive environment could form. We were each other’s safe space, and school was bearable when you were in it. ”
“Ronan—”
“You hid our relationship from your uncle. You knew he would hate it and do something about it. You wanted to date in secret until graduation because you had been accepted to several universities on scholarships. And once you turned eighteen, you could run away from him.”
The pressure on my chest intensifies with his words, the invisible ropes tightening around my throat because I can’t bear to talk about the girl Lavender used to be.
A stolen future will hurt no matter how much you move on from it.
“I hated every minute of it. We argued a lot because I couldn’t take you anywhere, and school was the only place we could talk or see each other.”
“He had eyes everywhere,” I whisper, my heart racing as bile rises in my throat at these memories. I wish we could kill Jade all over again. “I was scared.”
“I asked you out to prom, and you couldn’t hide it anymore. Your world was abusive and fragile even back then, but bearable. Once he punished you for having a relationship, it turned into a prison of your own creation.”
I open the door farther, welcoming the wind touching my skin as I gulp for air. “I don’t need a psychological evaluation, Ronan. I have a psychiatrist for that.”
And what the hell anyway? Us dating for a brief time in high school doesn’t give him any right to…well, what is this, exactly?
“It’s not a psychological evaluation. I’m trying to show you why it’s so hard for you to come clean about your relationship with Levi to your brothers.”
“How do you even know? What… Okay.” I exhale heavily, disbelief gliding through my veins at this surreal situation. “Ronan, it’s none of your business. You’re a stranger, no offense, and I’m tired of listening to countless men thinking they know better about how I should live my life.”
“Your world will shatter when you tell the truth. But it will not end. Your brothers aren’t Jade, and Levi is not me. You really think a Scott who put a claim on you publicly will ever allow anything to happen to you?”
I get out of the car, huffing in frustration because I’ve already decided to come clean anyway, but his words scrape at old wounds.
Because I never thought about it this way, but that’s part of my trauma, isn’t it?
I had a crush in high school, got punished for it, and now I’m in love.
Seems like it brings only disaster to my life.
I halt my movements, the air sticking in my throat, and I swallow hard.
Oh my God.
I’m in love. The serious kind of love. The where-have-you-been-my-whole-life kind of love.
“Lavender.” I turn around. “Love is either our greatest reward or the biggest regret. And sadly, we are the only ones who have to live with the consequences of both.”
“I hated you for a long time for inviting me to that prom,” I tell him, and despite everything, a smile twitches my mouth. “Maybe that was a blessing in disguise though. Good luck with everything, Ronan.”
Shutting the door, I rush toward the entrance where Theodore already greets me. “Miss Wright. Everyone is having dessert in the living room. You missed dinner. If you want—”
“I’m not hungry, thank you.”
I go straight to the living room, where I see my brothers and their women engaged in a hushed conversation with Levi’s parents as they enjoy cake. The table is filled with different types, so they are probably testing the best one to choose for the wedding cake.
My heartbeat speeds up when I find Levi leaning against the wall with Wyatt, watching their families broodily.
When our eyes meet, the entire world seems to stop, leaving us alone in it, and my fingers curl as I wish to go to him and hug him tight so he’d make all the chaos in my soul go away.
Levi would know what to do.
I can’t do that, though, right? Because it’s a family dinner, and I labeled us a dirty secret.
He sets his coffee down, pushing off the wall and walking to me. “Lavender. Are you all right?” I shake my head and wave absently at Wyatt, who lifts his chin at me. “What is it?”
A single tear slides down my cheek. “I’m sorry,” I whisper.
He opened up to me in ways I couldn’t dream of, and I couldn’t even be brave enough to face all my demons.
Ronan is right. My world will crash anyway, but that won’t be the end of it.
What if I hurt his feelings in the process?
Concern, along with rage, flashes on his features as he cups my cheeks, rubbing the tear away with his thumb. “What is it, moy cvetochek? Who hurt you?”
“I did. I hurt you. I’m sorry.”
His mouth curves into a smile as his blue eyes melt. I wish for him to look at me like this forever, so that it would drive out all the cold within me. “Nothing hurts me, moy cvetochek.” He kisses me on the forehead. “Don’t cry. I become murderous when I see your tears.”
A laugh tickles my throat. “I thought everything made you murderous.”
“That’s true. But when my woman cries, it’s a whole different level of rage.”
A gasp, followed by glass hitting the floor, echoes through the space, bursting my self-created bubble, and I swing my head toward the sound, seeing Aileen and Emmaline blink rapidly at us.
While my brothers stand behind them, the tension emanating from them polluting the air so much that I can almost touch their anger.
To my surprise, Lachlan and Valencia stay calm and unfazed as they continue to eat the cake.
“You and Lavender?” Aileen asks, wiggling her finger between us. “Oh my God. I should have known that. You acted so weird when it came to her.” The girls squeal in excitement and run to me, ripping me away from Levi’s arms and hugging me. “This is so exciting.”
“Why didn’t you tell us sooner?”
I barely listen to what they say, since my whole focus is on my brothers, who remain silent, so I free myself from the women. I clear my throat and find the bravery to do something I was unable to do at eighteen.
Claim my right to live a life and love whoever I choose.
“Levi and I are together. It’s serious, and I won’t change my mind.”
My brothers share a long look, probably once again communicating in their annoying twin way, and my heart plummets when Rush asks, “How long has this been going on?”
“For almost two months.”
“Two months,” Rafael repeats. “And in all this time, you hadn’t found a better way to break the news to us?”
Shame sinks into me, yet I refuse to give it any power. “I don’t remember you both breaking the news to me about your relationships. You just informed me about them.”
“That’s different.”
“Because I’m a crazy person?”
“We never once called you that, so stop. It’s disrespectful to you and us.” Rafael’s stern voice puts me in my place since he’s right. “Would you please leave us alone with Levi? We’d like to talk to him in private.”
Anger sweeps over me. “You have to be kidding me. It’s my life, and you want to discuss it with him?”
“Yes,” they reply in unison, and Rush continues, “It’s your life, but we have a right to speak to him.” Why does it sound like all they want to do is beat his ass for being with me?
My brothers would never take their anger out on me, but Levi is fair game.