Chapter 35 Sienna #2
“He’s not going to hurt me like that again. He loves me. He loves Zoey. He’s her father.”
“Well he shouldn’t be!” Russell’s eyes flash. “He doesn’t deserve her. He doesn’t deserve you!” His voice breaks as he snatches the pan off the stovetop and throws that in the sink as well.
It makes a noisy clatter and I flinch, crossing my arms, resisting the urge to bolt from the room.
“I’m the closest thing to a father Zoey’s ever had. It should be me! Not him. Me!” He slaps his chest, then throws his arms wide. “God, how could you do that, Sienna?”
He looks completely wrecked, and I don’t know what to say.
An uncomfortable minute ticks by that feels more like a millennium as I stand in the kitchen, curling my toes on the cold kitchen floor while he clenches his jaw and keeps shaking his head.
Zoey patters in, raising her arms for me to pick her up.
I hold her close, drawing comfort from her soft cheek against mine. She plays with my hair at the nape of my neck, and I stare across the room at Russell.
He lets out a huff, gripping the counter behind him and muttering, “Look, this is my house. And I know you live here, too, but I should get a say in what goes on under my roof, and that guy is not spending any more nights here. In fact, you’re not seeing him again.”
“What?” I can’t stop a surprised laugh popping out of me. “Russell, you can’t…” I laugh a second time, shaking my head. “You can’t say that to me. I can see whoever I want.”
His nostrils flare as he gives me more headshaking and huffing.
I stand up a little straighter, a sudden spike of anger making my voice terse. “You’re not the boss of me, and… I can’t believe you’re acting this way. You’re treating me like a naughty teenager or something. I mean, I know you don’t like him, but—”
“That’s right.” He moves like a snake, darting across the room, getting up in my face. Zoey clings to my neck, hiding her face while Russell spurts a little venom on me. “I don’t like him. I despise him for the way he treated you. I mean, what the hell? Who the fuck leaves you?”
“Russell.” I bulge my eyes at him. I don’t like him talking this way around Zoey, so I cover her ears, giving him an urgent “Shh.”
“You’re making a huge mistake.” He waves his finger at me. “And Zoey will end up paying the price for your selfish, sex-crazed, emotional behavior!”
Emotional? He thinks I’m being emotional?
I have never seen this side of Russell before, and I seriously do not like it.
Flashing my eyes at him, I start rubbing Zoey’s back. She’s whimpering against my shoulder. I hate that Russell is scaring her. She can feel the angry tension in the room, and I need to get her out of here.
“I’m gonna… go.” I move to leave the kitchen. “Give you time to cool off.”
He snatches my arm before I can leave.
I gasp in fright, his strong fingers digging into my skin.
“Great, so you’re just going to walk out on this conversation? Real mature, Sienna.”
The way he spits my name makes me want to slap him, and it takes everything in me not to bite back. By some miracle, I keep my tone calm and even. It helps that Zoey is quietly crying against my neck. I refuse to raise my voice around her and scare her even more than Russell has.
Licking my lips, I softly reply, “This isn’t a conversation. This is you getting annoyed at me for no good reason. I haven’t done anything wrong, and you can’t control me like this. Now let me go.”
“I’m just trying to protect you from your own idiocy and keep Zoey safe. You’re not thinking straight. You’re not thinking about her well-being!”
“I know what I’m doing, Russell. And she’s my daughter. Not yours.”
My words are an obvious blow, and he reels away from me like I just slapped him.
His chest heaves as he glares back at me and hisses, “You’re gonna regret this.”
I sigh and shake his hand off my arm.
“You will. And then you’ll be back on my doorstep, crying and looking for help.” Tapping his forehead, he looks like a slightly crazed version of the boy I grew up with. The one I always looked up to like an older brother. The guy who has helped me out so many times in the past.
But this version?
I don’t know him… at all.
“You need to start using your head and stop following your emotional, brainless heart. You’re wasting your time with him.”
“That’s my decision to make,” I hiss, hating how much this is rattling me.
Spinning out of the kitchen, I storm to Zoey’s room, but Russell follows me, bleating on about what a loser Zander is. Zoey starts to cry harder, and I decide to bail on getting us changed. Instead, I push past Russell to the front door, snatching the stroller and wrestling Zoey into it.
I don’t even know where the car keys are right now. I just want to get out of this house!
Zoey’s wailing incoherently, and Russell’s still shouting.
I shove my sneakers on and unbolt the front door.
“No,” Russell barks, snatching the stroller handle. “She’s hungry. Leave her here.”
“What?” I throw him a horrified glare.
“If you’re making stupid decisions like this, she’s better off with me.”
“You’re insane.” I throw the door open and yank the stroller out of his grasp before wrestling it down the front steps and hitting the curb with a bump.
Zoey gets jostled and cries a little louder while Russell stands at the front door yelling at me.
“You can’t just take her away from this safe haven. Where the hell are you gonna go? To him? To that football frat?” He spits out the words with such derision, and now I’m fighting my own tears as I push the stroller away from him.
“How could you be so selfish, Sienna? You’re a shitty mother!”
Zoey lets out another loud wail and starts sobbing about elephants and “amimals.”
“Amimals!” she screams and kicks her legs while I lose the battle with my tears and start running with the stroller, trying to get as much distance between me and Russell as possible.
Shit, I must look insane, running down the street in my Tweety Bird pajamas with a wailing baby.
As soon as I round the corner, I slow to a shuffle and try to pull myself together.
I don’t want to be a shitty mother.
I want to do what’s right for Zoey, and Russell’s venom and accusations have completely thrown me.
Jerking the stroller to a stop, I crouch down and unearth a Vitamin C lollipop from Zoey’s diaper bug. Hardly a healthy breakfast, but it might stop her crying. Unwrapping it with shaking fingers, I hand it over, and she pops it into her mouth with a soft whimper.
I clean up her face with a tissue and find the blanket I was supposed to wash. It’s got a big stain on the front, but I wrap it around her legs, making sure she’s warm enough as a breeze whistles through my skimpy pajamas.
Shit, it’s cold this morning, but like hell I’m going back.
Reaching under the stroller, I rustle through the diaper bag and realize I left the better stocked one at Russell’s. It’s got everything in it, including my wallet and phone… and probably my car keys.
“Shit,” I whisper under my breath, running my fingers through Zoey’s curls and stressing over what to do.
It’s still kind of early. Will Zander mind if I just show up unannounced?
He didn’t seem to the other day.
Just do it, Sen. You need him… and so does Zoey.
I glance down at my daughter. She’s stopped crying now, her big blue eyes staring up at me with all the trust in the world.
“Hey, should we go see Daddy?”
She blinks and doesn’t say anything.
“Football. Football’s your daddy.”
It’s a lot for the poor little thing to take in, but she pulls the lollipop out of her mouth and softly murmurs, “Foobawl.”
“You wanna go see him and Wily?”
She nods, sticking the lollipop back into her mouth and resting her head on the edge of the stroller.
I kiss the top of her head, reminding her how much I love her before pushing her toward Football Frat and hoping I’m not making as big a mistake as Russell is convinced I am.