Chapter 22 #2
My brain wants to splinter between focus and panic, but in this moment, I choose to be strong. To fight. To be in control. Closing my eyes, I force myself to sink into all the memories I’ve tried to avoid.
“The basement,” I whisper. “I wasn’t supposed to see her sneaking in, but she’d forgotten me down there.
” The shock of fresh air blasts into me from the pits of my memory as though I’m back there—the scared little girl again.
“When she opened the door, there was a gust of wind. I think there’s a tunnel. I don’t know where it leads to—”
“Show me,” Roman says.
But I can’t move. I’m frozen, staring at the walls, at the evidence of my stalking. It bleeds together with memories that typically only haunt my dreams.
It all proves that I’ve never truly been safe. I haven’t been free. I’ve been watched and studied and hunted.
“Clover.” Valen’s voice is soft now, gentle. His big hands cup my face, forcing me to look at him instead of the horror around us. “Breathe, Honeybee. Just breathe.”
“I—I can’t.”
“Yes, you can. With me. One.”
“Two,” I whisper.
“Three.”
“Four.”
“Five.”
He exhales, and I greedily gulp him down. His forehead presses to mine—his hands are steady on my face. In. Out. Together. Repeat.
“There’s my girl,” he murmurs. “You’re okay. You’re strong. I’ve got you.”
“She always said I’d never be free,” I choke out. “Now this. How can I feel safe when she’s always in control?”
“We’re going to find her,” Valen says, his voice hard and lethal. “And when we do, I’ll make sure she never hurts you again.”
There’s a violence in his words that should scare me, but instead, it makes me feel safer than I have in months.
Even with my wildly swinging emotional state, I have to believe that I, that we, will control our own narrative. It’s the only way to move forward.
“I need to get out of here,” I say. “I need—I can’t be in this room anymore.”
“Okay.” Valen loosens his grip on my shoulders, ensuring I’m steady on my feet before wrapping an arm around my waist and practically carrying me from the room. “Let’s go outside and get some fresh air.”
Roman steps aside to let us pass, but his expression is grim.
“I’m calling in the rest of the team. We’re going to tear this place apart until we find how she’s getting in and out.
And Valen?” Sadness and guilt fill Roman’s eyes.
This isn’t his fault, but like Valen, he’ll always take the blame.
“Nobody stays anywhere near this property tonight. Nobody comes in, not even the local police. Whoever is fucking with you will feel the full wrath of our family.”
The way he says it makes me shiver. Like he has secrets that can banish the darkness simply because he wills it to be so.
Valen nods, already moving, guiding me out of that horrible room, down the hallway, and down the stairs.
But the images of it are burned into my retinas.
Every time I close my eyes, I see the walls covered with my words, my life, my pain.
Every hope. Every fear. Every moment I thought was private.
This is what she does. She’s an emotional terrorist that no one can catch.
We make it to the front porch before I throw up.
Right there, on the front steps of the building, I lose what little food I had in my stomach. My body purges the horror like it’s poison.
Maybe it is. I don’t even know what it feels like to truly live without her venom invading my every decision.
Valen holds back my hair, his free hand rubbing circles on my back while he vows things I can’t quite hear over the roaring in my ears.
When I’m done, there’s nothing left. I’m empty. Void as I sit back on my heels and stare at the compound.
This place took everything from me once.
And now it’s trying to take everything again.
“I was so stupid,” I say, mostly to myself.
“What?” Valen crouches beside me. “Clover, no—”
“I was writing to you, thinking, hoping, that someday we’d find each other again.” My laugh is bitter and broken. “Instead, all I did was give her a roadmap to my soul. I handed her everything she needed to manipulate my mind again.”
“You weren’t stupid,” he says fiercely. “You were hopeful. You were brave. You kept believing in us when you had every reason not to. That’s not stupid, Honeybee. That’s the most courageous thing I’ve ever heard.”
He says all the right words, but he can’t hide how the guilt slams into him too.
It’s written in every line of his body, the way his shoulders curve inward, the way his hands clench at his sides.
He’s doing the math—I saw it as he scanned the dates written harshly in red ink.
Fourteen years of letters. Fourteen years he spent building a company, living a life, while I poured my heart onto paper, clinging to a past that’s been all but forgotten.
“This isn’t your fault,” I tell him, but his eyes tell me he doesn’t believe me. “And it doesn’t feel courageous.” I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. “It feels like I’ve been playing right into her hands this entire time.”
“Maybe you have been,” Chief says. His footsteps thud on the stairs as he joins us.
Wrecks flops down at my feet, his weight a comfort I appreciate.
“But here’s the thing, kid. She might have your words, but she doesn’t have you.
You got out. You built a life—you’re building a future.
You found happiness—hell, you’ve got a whole town rooting for you.
That’s not nothing, and it’s something she’ll never be able to take away. ”
“She knows everything about me, Chief. My friends, my routine, my—” Acid burns the back of my throat. “Madi. Savvy. Elle. She has photos of them. What if she goes after them to get to me?”
Valen is already typing on his phone. “I’m texting Grant. He can organize a team in Happiness. We will protect them.”
A weight settles heavily where my heart should be. “You can’t promise that.”
“Yes. I can.” He grips my shoulders, making me meet his determined stare. “Because I will burn through every resource I have, every favor, every connection to ensure that the people you love are protected. All of them. That I can promise you.”
I want to believe him—want it so badly I can taste it.
But that wall. The photos. That dress.
It’s all the meticulous planning of someone who has been living their life for this moment—of someone who has absolutely nothing left to lose—and it makes her more dangerous than I could have ever imagined.
Roman storms out of the house, thunderclouds clapping in his gaze. “We found the tunnel and can confirm that it’s been used recently. It leads to an old storm shelter. It’s how she’s been getting in and out.”
“Can we secure it?” Valen asks.
“We’re sealing it up now as well as stationing people on the perimeter.
” Roman looks at me with an apology raging in his eyes.
“I’m sorry. We should have been more thorough.
That room was built to be undetectable, even from our technology, but knowing what we’re dealing with, I should have scoured every inch of this place with my bare hands.
” His gaze darts to Chief. “How did you find it?”
Chief nods, his age showing in his face now. “I didn’t have all that fancy equipment when I went through my training, son. Sometimes, you have to rely on your senses.”
Roman’s shoulders stiffen.
“You didn’t know,” I say. “None of us could have predicted this.”
“Still. This is on me.” Roman straightens. “She won’t get back in here though. And we’re going to find her.”
“That’s what she wants,” I say quietly. “That’s what this game of cat and mouse is all about. She’s showing us she can get to me whenever she wants. She’s proving that she’s in control.”
“Then we take that control back.” Valen’s words carry a confidence I almost believe in.
“How?” I’m tired. Bone-deep exhausted. “How do we fight someone who knows everything about us? Who’s been planning this for years. Who—” My voice breaks. “Who probably killed her own sister to get to me, while we know next to nothing about her?”
“We fight by not giving up,” Chief says firmly. “We fight by sticking together. By being collectively smarter than she is on her own.” He looks at Valen. “We need to move. Get Clover somewhere…safer. Regroup.”
“The inn—”
“No,” Roman cuts Valen off. “You’re not thinking clearly, brother. You can’t go anywhere you’ve already been. We’ll secure a safe house.”
“Fuck. You’re right.” Valen rubs at his temples.
“Easy,” Roman says. “It’s understandable. You’re both emotionally invested. That’s why I’m here. I’ve got your back.” He’s speaking to Valen, but when he nods at me, I know I’m included in his sentiment.
Roman considers me family, and it means more than he’ll ever know.
“I have Sterling working on the safe house,” he says.
“The police?” Chief asks.
Roman shakes his head, something close to fear flashing in his eyes.
“We believe that Terra had something she held over my mother—something about Valen, Clover, or one of my brothers—because my mother wouldn’t have gone through all this shit for herself.
Until I know what information Terra has, we handle this internally. ”
Chief bristles like he’s about to argue, but one look at me and he snaps his mouth shut.
“I’ll stay here with my team to process everything and document it all,” Roman says. “If she comes back…” There’s a twitch in his jaw—anger, pain and determination all rolled into one tiny movement. “We’ll be ready.”
How can you be ready for someone who always seems to be three steps ahead of every move you make?
I can see the same question on all our faces, even as Valen helps me to stand, then guides me to RV.
The uncertainty is strangling us all.
Valen buckles me into the RV like I’m something fragile that might break.
It’s who I’ve always been. But when Wrecks jumps into my lap, I feel something else brewing in my chest too—it’s the pieces Terra has been chipping away at my entire life, binding themselves together to form someone stronger, someone resilient, someone designed to win.
“Will you be okay for a minute here with Roman?” Valen asks. “I—I just can’t leave those letters, Clover. They’re mine. I want to read them. To know…”
I nod, but I’m numb as I watch him close my door, then he faces off with Roman. Their angry words are a jumbled mess of syllables I don’t comprehend.
Pressing my forehead to the cool glass of the window, I allow myself to fall into the headspace where nothing can reach me. The secret gardens where good always prevails and peace is a right, not a privilege.
At some point, Valen returns, but his presence barely registers.
“We’re heading to a town called Littleton. We’ll park the RV there and pick up a new vehicle, since this one is compromised.”
“Everything’s going to be just fine, kiddo.” But Chief’s voice doesn’t carry an ounce of the bolster he’s known for.
As we pull away from Roots of Salvation, I force myself to look back. To take it all in. To remember that I survived once, and I can do it again.
The compound sits in the dark, decaying like a tomb of bad memories that should be locked away in a crypt.
The road stretches ahead of us, empty and dark. There are no streetlights out here. Just the RV’s headlights cutting through the blackness and the occasional flash of animal eyes in the tree line.
Every shadow looks like a figure. Every curve in the road feels like an ambush waiting to happen.
Valen’s gaze constantly flicks between the road and the mirrors.
Because we both know that ROS isn’t dead.
It’s waiting.
Just like she is.
And somewhere, in the shadows, I can feel her watching, smiling, because she knows what I’ve only begun to understand.
This isn’t over—it’s just the beginning.
“Valen.” Chief’s voice is low, but urgent. “Mind the car behind us.”
I whip around, but all I can see are headlights.
“I’m watching it,” Valen says as he accelerates.
The headlights match our speed.
“We need to make a detour.” Valen’s gaze cuts to mine. “Trust me, Honeybee. I’ve got this.”
I’m hyperaware of every turn, every acceleration, every side road Valen veers off on until eventually, the car stops following us. But now every muscle in my body is screaming like it’s on fire.
I can’t make myself relax.
“We’re about halfway there,” Valen says.
My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I almost ignore it until a sixth sense makes my fingers tingle, so I retrieve it.
One new text from an unknown number. My hands shake as I open it.
Unknown number: Did you like my gift? I decorated just for you. Welcome home, Bloom. Mother is waiting.
Blooms and Branches—Terra’s shitty names for her “daughters” and “sons.”
Another comes through before I can show Valen.
Unknown number: Photo sent.
It’s of me, at the compound, sitting on the porch steps after I vomited. It’s taken from a distance, but she was there, in the woods, following us.
And now, I truly know there’s nowhere left to run.
Handing Valen my phone, I close my eyes and fall back into a land where Prince Valor has always saved his Honey Queen. Except this time, I know without a doubt that the queen will have to sting first.