Chapter 21
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
E leanor awoke with a light heart and sore hips.
It took her a moment to gather her bearings and she realized that she was in her room, tucked into bed snugly.
Memories from the night before flooded her mind and she pressed a hand to her lips in shock and awe. Especially when she recalled all the nice things Frederick had said to her, how attentive and gentle he had been. Every kiss, every touch, and every word seemed to be laced with genuine intent, beyond the spells of lust they had been acting under previously.
Last night felt… more. More intense, heavier, as though it bore more meaning.
Eleanor knew it did mean a lot to her, and from the look her husband had in his eyes as he stared down at her and leaned down to give her the softest of kisses, she felt safe wagering that it meant a lot to him too.
“Oh my,” she gasped, recalling that she had fallen asleep in his room, which meant he had brought her here afterward and tucked her in cozily. “Were you always this sweet?”
It all felt like a dream, one she had been too scared to let herself wish into reality. And then, it had manifested when she least expected it. Life was quite unbelievable like that.
A wave of longing washed over her and she began to miss her husband. Quickly, she made her way out of bed and rang the bell to summon Alice.
Once her maid arrived, Eleanor requested that a bath be prepared quickly, so that she might ready herself to begin her day. Alice must have noticed her good mood but remained silent, merely smiling sweetly at her mistress as she got her things ready for the day.
After her bath, Eleanor opted to wear a soft pink dress that reminded her greatly of spring, wishing the weather was warmer for them to have breakfast in the garden.
“Where we eat wouldn’t matter,” she said to herself softly as Alice ran a brush gently through her hair. “As long as we’re together.”
The Duchess was determined to play her cards right, with high hopes that if she did, she and Frederick would finally settle into their relationship as a married couple. For real, this time.
Once she was all set, she thanked Alice and eagerly headed downstairs, already at her limit of missing Frederick.
Eleanor could not fight the excitement creeping up her spine, feeding her imagination with how their interaction would go. She could already see Fredrick teasing her, perhaps whilst holding her hand, and she would blush as she always had at his forward attitude.
However it was to go, she couldn’t wait to see.
She was only a few doors away from the dining hall when she heard someone call for her.
“Your Grace?”
She whirled around, her expression morphing into a soft smile when she saw her gardener standing before her.
“Herbert! What a lovely surprise! Were you meant to come in so early? If I recall correctly, we were supposed to tend to the garden before noon.” She stated, still smiling.
“That is true, Your Grace. But I am not here to escort you to the garden, unfortunately. You see… I am very sorry, but I will have to leave for a little while. My family seems to be undergoing some problems and I would like to return to their side so I can offer up any assistance I can.” He explained.
“Oh,” her smile dimmed. “Oh no, I am so sorry. Is there anything I can do? Would you like to take some food to them, perhaps? I could ask Mr Bradley to prepare some items –”
“No, please, Your Grace. You do not have to do that. We are quite fine, but I do appreciate your concern. All I need is some time off. I shall return as soon as I possibly can, I promise.” Herbert said.
Eleanor nodded easily, seeing no reason why she could not grant such a loyal, hard worker the break he desired.
“Of course, you may go. I do hope that whatever is happening within your family is resolved as soon as possible.” She told him earnestly.
“You are too kind, Your Grace. But do not worry. I am sure everything will fall into its rightful place sooner or later. Take care, Your Grace.” He bowed to her before taking his leave.
Eleanor watched him leave for a moment, nearly forgetting that she had been on her way to see her husband. Quickly, she hurried to the dining all.
Frederick had been exactly where Eleanor had imagined he would be, sipping a cup of coffee as he read a news sheet.
With a warm smile, Eleanor walked into the room, nodding at staff members who greeted her, before dropping into the seat near Frederick.
“Good morning,” she beamed at him warmly.
He raised his gaze to hers and sighed. “Good morning, duchess.”
There was an odd edge to his tone, but Eleanor wished to dismiss it, guessing that he was simply a little tired to foster an energetic conversation.
She cleared her throat, encouraging herself to try again.
“Did you sleep well? I noticed that you took me back to my room. It was very kind of you, but I would have much rather preferred to wake up by your side –”
“Eleanor, I will be leaving the estate today.”
It felt as though all the air had been sucked out of the room. Eleanor felt her smile freeze on her face, as his words echoed over and over in her mind.
Did he – surely not. There was no way that he had said what she thought she had heard.
“I don’t understand. I – what did you say?”
Frederick lowered his cup of coffee down to the table and fixed her with a blank look.
“I will be leaving. Today. Since I have recovered most of my memories, there is no longer any need for me to stay here. I can search for the culprit from my other house. So nothing is keeping me here.”
His words felt like a dagger, right into her heart.
She could not believe he would do this to her, after what they had shared. After raising her hopes so much. After saying all those things about how she was his, how he would never deny her anything she wanted.
When it boiled down to it, none of it mattered to him.
She had never mattered to him.
I am glad you know that and are willing to accept that. There is nothing more than lust between us, is what he had said and she should have known better than to raise her hopes for any reason. Especially for a man who was dead set in never faltering from his initial feelings.
“Right. I should have never expected more than this. What a fool I have been,” she told herself quietly.
The disappointment sat heavily within her, ebbing away at her strength and ridding her of every ounce of joy she had felt earlier, leaving nothing behind but pieces of a broken heart.
“I will do something that I wish I could have done much sooner,” Frederick told her, sparing her a single glance. “If you want a divorce, I will grant it to you.”
Eleanor stared at him, the pain of rejection slowly transforming into wrathful anger.
“I beg your pardon?”
“You do not have to live like this anymore if you do not wish it. You do not need to endure the burden of my last name and title. If you want a divorce, I shall allow it,” Frederick stated simply, as though it really did not matter which she chose.
Eleanor heard her herself laugh humorlessly and she rose up to her feet.
“Why, thank you, Your Grace. Your suggestion has been duly noted. I will think about it and let you know what I decide.’ She replied coldly.
“All right, then - ”
Fredrick had scarcely gotten halfway through his statement when she turned around and walked out of the dining hall.
Now more than ever, it was clear that she was worth nothing to him. And although it devastated her, Eleanor thought that perhaps it was time to let go of the things that had only served to hurt her and nothing more.
“Is everything all set?”
Christopher nodded in response and Frederick sighed deeply, his heart twisting uncomfortably in his chest.
Although he had understood this to be the best choice he had for both of them, it did not keep him from feeling hurt at what it was costing him.
Eleanor had looked like she had come straight from his dreams when she showed up for breakfast that morning, beautiful and radiant. Her smile had touched his heart in many different places and it had been all he could do not to hold her then and never let go.
But Frederick had long since grown aware of the fact that their marriage had been an unfortunate accident. Eleanor was never meant to cross paths with a beast like him. She was a princess in every way and he was merely the monster she had been tied to. Offering her freedom back to her was the best thing he could offer her.
Frederick walked out of his room, heading downstairs. On his way, he noticed how parts of the estate had changed thanks to Eleanor’s touch. She had taken this dreary, unbearable house and turned it into a home. She had excelled better than he expected her to and he only wished that perhaps things had been different for them both.
Mr. Bradley was waiting by the front door and Frederick took a moment to instruct him to look after the house.
“My wife, especially. Ensure that she doesn’t risk her well-being by working too hard. No matter what she says, convince her to get some rest at all costs.” The duke said.
The butler nodded grimly. “I will do my very best, Your Grace.”
“I believe you will. If anything comes up, do not hesitate to write to me and inform me.”
“Yes, Your Grace.”
Frederick inhaled deeply and stepped towards the front door, only to be stopped in his tracks by a soft voice.
“Wait, Your Grace.”
For her, Frederick would have waited for an eternity.
He turned around as she approached him, unable to keep his heart from weakening at the mere sight of her.
Eleanor seemed to have recovered some of the regal air that she used to have upon his initial return to the estate, her expression cool and calm as she said to him,
“I wanted to say goodbye, and wish you all the best on your quest. I understand that the last few weeks have been quite difficult for you and I hope that henceforth, things are easier.”
Frederick nodded gratefully. “Thank you –”
“I have given it some thought and I have decided that I do want a divorce after all.” She added calmly.
It felt as though the world had come to a stop.
Frederick couldn’t help but wince in pain at the realization that she had not wanted to keep any part of him after all, seeking her freedom as soon as it was offered.
He could not blame her, aware that he would have done the same had he been in her shoes. But that did not make the situation an easier pill to swallow.
“Ah, I see,” was all he said at first as he struggled to remind himself that this was for her own good.
Eleanor’s safety was his top priority and this was the only way he could guarantee that. His choices had little to do with his overwhelming feelings for her. Not at all.
He cleared his throat and took a long look at her, committing the details of her beautiful face to memory in case he never had the fortune of seeing her again.
“I will send you the necessary arrangements soon,” he told her quietly, with a curt nod. “Goodbye, Eleanor.”
Then Frederick turned away and walked off, not looking back.