Chapter 34
I rushed forward, throwing my arm around her.
“And I was looking for you. I thought something terrible had happened.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Where did you go?”
She stepped back, her smile quaking. “To find Jacob.”
The basket dropped from my other hand. “What?”
“Last night when I realized you’ve been carrying so much for us, I knew I needed to do something to help. I’ve been drowning. We all have been. So, I went to find him.”
Her words suddenly sounded as if miles away.
“Our burdens will be eased with our husband back, even if only for a short time. I rode to a man I knew Jacob was close with, Elder Crowther, and he took me to the safe house Jacob had been at.”
I swallowed past the panic choking me. “Did you find him?”
The kitchen door swung open. Jacob stood in the doorway, a vast smirk across his face. He appeared the same as ever, if only a bit scruffier and less clean-shaven. His eyes were bright and focused, peering directly at me as if he could read every sin on my skin.
“Yes, I’d say she found me,” he said with a chuckle.
The floorboards rumbled beneath our feet. The house spoke its warning in the only way it could. All my plans for us with Elijah dashed to pieces. How could we ever hope to escape now?
Prudence’s face still hung heavy, but she mustered another smile. “And we’re so grateful you’re here, Jacob. There are a few things that need to be set in order.”
“So I can see.” His gaze never left me, cutting me up heel to head. His tone wasn’t angry or menacing. If I closed my eyes, it would be as though I had been transported back in time to one of our walks during our brief courtship.
Across the house, the front door slammed shut, probably caught in a whip of the growing wind. My heart skittered. Elijah.
“Who was that?” Jacob asked, finally breaking his examination of me to glance over his shoulder.
“Abby,” I said.
Jacob shook his head. “She’s asleep, as good as the dead when I tried to wake her.”
His choice of words cut into me.
“No,” he said, “it must be the boarder that I’ve heard so much about.”
“Yes,” said Prudence, unsure. “Sister Hazel’s idea to bring in extra funds.”
I hardened my face to remain as neutral as possible.
“Indeed. How clever.” Jacob’s penetrating stare returned.
I fumbled to retrieve the dropped basket for something to keep my hands busy. “I should finish and go to bed.”
“Oh no, I would like to meet this boarder,” Jacob said.
Prudence nodded. “I could fetch him, if you like.”
“Oh no, Prudence, it’s late.” I tried to hide the pleading in my voice.
Jacob waved her on. “Bring him to the parlor for a proper introduction.”
Prudence slipped out of the room before I could raise another protest.
Behind me, the line of clean plates rattled on the shelf.
Jacob stepped closer until he drew up against me, his sour breath hot against my cheeks. “I’m so glad to be home, my dearest.”
My throat was clenched too tight to say anything in return. Silent accusations danced in his eyes. Across the room, the woodpile beside the hearth toppled to the ground.
“Later we will need to discuss where Flora is. I was so terribly disappointed to come home and find her and the children gone.” Jacob cupped my cheek. “I wonder if my letter didn’t reach you.”
“It did.”
His fingers ran down the column of my throat.
“I see. Well, I suppose things happen. It’s hard to keep everything under control.”
He pressed a hard kiss against the base of my neck, his tongue against my skin, tasting my wild pulse.
“Don’t worry,” he said, his mouth hovering at my throat. “All will be forgiven. Eventually. I’m simply so grateful to be home.”
Jacob released me and I inhaled sharply.
“Come, introduce me to the boarder.”
His hand, firm on the small of my back, directed me through the kitchen door. As we passed the dining table, the hanging light above shook as if with a mighty wind. Two chairs toppled over. But Jacob said nothing.
I’d never prayed more fervently in my life. Please, don’t let Jacob find out it’s Elijah.
Prudence and Elijah stood in the parlor conversing softly when we entered.
“Ah, so this is the famous boarder,” Jacob said, stretching out his hand to clasp Elijah’s. My pulse thundered in my ears.
“A pleasure to meet you at last, Brother Manwaring,” Elijah replied, politely. A mask of civility pressed tight to his face, but I noticed the twitch of his fingers at his side and the blink of anger in his eyes.
Prudence yawned. She appeared as if she might fall asleep standing.
“Jacob,” I said, “she’s exhausted.”
Jacob dismissed her with the wave of his hand.
“Good night, dear. We’ll speak more in the morning.”
I brushed past Jacob to follow Prudence up the stairs.
“I should go too.”
“No, dearest. Please fetch us glasses.”
I froze, uncertain what to do. If I stayed and played along, would it assuage any suspicions? Leaving them might be worse than bearing it with Elijah.
I fixed a small smile to my face.
“Of course, I would be happy to. I’m glad to see we can all get along so well.”
I shared a quick look with Elijah as I passed him, praying he’d understand what I meant. There was no reason to start a fight in the parlor now. We’d never manage to escape this horrible place if Jacob was on alert.
I retrieved the first two glasses I could find from the kitchen and returned just as Jacob reentered the room with a dark green bottle. He took the glasses from my hand but didn’t dismiss me. I hovered, waiting on the balls of my feet.
“I know the Brethren can sometimes be concerned about this, but I’ve seen them drink it plenty of times,” Jacob explained as he poured the dark red liquid.
I watched Elijah out of the corner of my eye to see what he would do. Wine wasn’t strictly forbidden but was generally considered a sinful vice.
Jacob seemed to be thinking the same thing and held a glass out to him like a challenge. Slowly, Elijah took the offered drink, but didn’t taste it.
“Forgive me, I didn’t catch your name,” Jacob said.
My heartbeat intensified. This moment could sink us.
“John. John Smith,” Elijah said.
“Another damn Smith. You seem to grow on trees in Utah.”
I breathed out in relief, drawing Jacob’s focus back onto me.
“Are you married, Brother Smith?” he asked.
“No,” Elijah said, glancing over at me. “Not yet.”
Heat from his small look simmered through my body in a strange mix of anticipation and horror. Thankfully, Jacob didn’t seem to notice the flush surely growing in my cheeks.
“Well, I will tell you, it’s the greatest blessing of the Lord. Take Hazel here.” He signaled for me to come closer. “Couldn’t even wait for me to get home, she’s already in her bedclothes.”
Elijah let out a forced laugh to mingle with Jacob’s.
“Have a seat, Brother Smith.”
Jacob gestured to the checkered sofa across from him as he sank into a high-backed, threadbare chair.
“Join us, wife.”
I kept my head low as I crossed the room to sit beside him when an arm scooped me up by the waist. I bit my tongue to keep from screaming as Jacob settled me into his lap.
“I’ve been away too long, you see,” he said to Elijah, who held his glass so tight his knuckles had turned white.
I thrashed, trying to extract myself. “Jacob, perhaps—”
“Sit.” He wrapped his free arm tighter around my waist, locking me against his chest, and took another drink. “You know, Brother Smith, you do you look awfully familiar.”
Could Jacob hear my pulse racing?
“Which Smith are you related to?”
“None of the great ones.” Elijah’s tone was tight. “Simply a common name.”
“I see.”
A loaded silence crackled among the three of us. Elijah sat on the edge of the couch, his drink untouched, but Jacob quickly finished his off.
“Hazel,” he said, dropping his glass without care onto the table beside him. “It’s so good to see you again after so long.”
And then his mouth was on mine, crushing my lips against my teeth as I gasped. His tongue darted out to taste mine.
I managed to pull away.
“Jacob, dear, we have company.”
He only smiled, so disarmingly charming.
“Just giving the boy a look at what his future holds. You should get married right away, Brother Smith. I’ve got a good connection to an apostle. You might know him—Elder Crowther?”
The air tugged tight, a string between Elijah and me. I tried not to catch his eye but couldn’t resist a quick look in his direction. He held his shoulders back, his tone was casual, but not a bit of his body stayed at ease.
“I’ve heard of him, like all the Saints.”
“I can put in a good word for you. Might be able to scrape up two at once for you.”
I forced back a taste of bile, even as something plucked at me.
“I’m uncertain plural marriage is prudent at this time,” said Elijah. “The new laws and all.”
Jacob raised an eyebrow.
“The government doesn’t scare an apostle of the Lord. Shouldn’t scare you either, I’d say. What the Lord commands, He commands. Isn’t that right, Hazel?”
His hand glided up my ribs, pausing briefly at my breast before stroking at my neck. Surely, he felt my erratic pulse beneath his fingers.
“Jacob, please,” I begged, as softly as I could.
He kissed me again in response, this time nipping at my bottom lip.
Elijah was at his edge. His eyes shined with what I knew were pent-up tears of anger and frustration. My heart tore.
“Perhaps,” Elijah said through gritted teeth, “you should listen to the requests of your wife.”
Shifting back, Jacob released his hand on my throat but gripped the flesh on my leg.
“Do you know the sign of a great wife? A true helpmeet as the Lord made her to be? Simple obedience. Hazel wants what I want.”
He leaned toward Elijah, taking me with him.
“I could tell her to get on her knees right now and she would.”
I was going to vomit.
“Unhand her.” Elijah’s words cut through the room as a knife.
Jacob studied him, his gaze tracing back and forth between the two of us.
Suddenly, I fell to the floor. He had dropped me as he rose, pushing me off like a troublesome cat.
“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
A loud groan tunneled through the chimney. The line of books atop the mantel toppled; some fell to the hearth below with repeated bangs, stealing Jacob’s attention.
Elijah began to rise and I shook my head as subtly as possible. He sat back in his seat, his ears brimming red.
“Brother Smith.” Jacob swung back toward him. “Where is it you work again?”
“The Henderson farm, just down the road.”
“Ah yes. Brother Henderson is a stalwart man of God.”
Jacob kicked a fallen book with his toe, staring at me. Lancing holes into me. I stayed as steady and unreadable as I could. I wasn’t ready to pick myself off the floor, uncertain what move I might make that would not set him off.
“Say,” Jacob said. “I know Brother Henderson has troubles with coyotes and his chickens. Let me show you something.”
Before either of us could reply, he slipped into the dining room, probably headed to his study, but what he wanted to fetch I couldn’t guess. Weight pressed against my chest, heavy as a dozen devils. I blinked to hold back tears.
“Hazel,” Elijah whispered as he leaned down to pull me up. “Are you all right?”
“Are you? I thought you would break that glass in your fist.”
“Or his damn nose.”
I hushed him. “We can’t—he can’t know who you are, Elijah. We’ll never escape.”
“Believe me, that was the only thought keeping me from ripping his hands off you.” He kissed my knuckles.
Part of me warmed with his declaration, even as the panic held me.
“Here it is!” Jacob called from the dining room.
We both jumped back into our seats. Was he warning us of his presence, or simply overly excited tonight?
He held up a slender brown rifle. I gripped the arms of the chair.
“This is the newest Browning rifle I picked up in Ogden. Might be of interest to your employer. You need to catch the rascals before they get to the hens,” he added.
I didn’t dare breathe. Elijah seemed to agree.
I stared at the firearm, waiting for Jacob to take aim.
My head rushed with images of blood flowing across the floorboards and Elijah’s battered body …
I was losing air. Losing the fight when I needed to be strongest. My mind went to Sariah, to my nightmares, and the house dripping with fresh blood. Had this scene played out here before?
Elijah found his voice.
“New model, you say? I remember when I left on my mission a few years ago, it was just rumors of something coming from his shop. I’ll mention this to my employer. I’m sure he’ll be grateful.”
We balanced on an invisible tightrope pulled taut across the parlor. One false move would send us plummeting to our demise.
“I would like to go to bed, please, Jacob,” I said, hardly above a whisper.
Jacob smiled his most benevolent smile. “Of course, I’ve kept you up late, my dearest. I know how eager you are for us to retire together.”
Elijah’s glass tumbled to the floor. Several other objects rattled on their shelves.
“Forgive me, I must be tired as well.” Elijah stood. “I’ll go and fetch a rag from the kitchen.”
“Thank you, Brother Smith. You know, it’s such a pleasant surprise to know there’s been a priesthood man watching over the house in my absence.”
His hands brushed the small of my back. They were cold.
“Yes, a true blessing,” I said.
Jacob placed a tender kiss on my brow, and Elijah disappeared into the kitchen.
It didn’t appear Jacob knew. Perhaps we would make it through the night.
First, I would hurry to my room and try to lock Jacob out.
I needed to conjure a new plan. Even though it’d be far more difficult with my husband lurking around, I couldn’t stay here any longer.
A light flickered above me as I walked into the entry. My gaze caught by the faintly lit figure at the top of the staircase. Her face was stern. The specter looked so unlike Abby in this moment, it was jarring. I slowed to a stop, studying her.
And then I was overcome with knowing. This wasn’t Abby, or a simulacrum of her.
Her face was painted with a different pattern of freckles and wider eyes.
Her beauty was different. Even the movements of her body, the mannerisms of her expressions.
I saw it now plain as day. This was her. The second wife.
I swallowed.
“Sariah.”