Chapter 21 #2
“The session was fine.” I ease the car around a bend in the road, the canyon dropping away on her side into a darkening sprawl of city lights below. “Jaxon stopped by.”
“For work or…?” She rests her elbow on the door panel, facing me.
“Everything’s fine, Lily.” I glance her way for just a second. “Don’t worry about anything. I’ve got it all under control.”
“Okay.” A quiet giggle leaves her. “That was a nice way of saying you don’t want to discuss it.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
The road straightens, and Mulholland opens up ahead of us. I pull off onto a wide shoulder that overlooks the canyon and cut the engine. Below us, the city is just beginning to light itself up for the night, ten thousand points of gold spreading out toward the ocean.
Livianna leans forward in her seat and gazes out through the windshield. “I forgot how beautiful this is.”
“When we weren’t touring, I used to come up here when I couldn’t sleep.” I lean my forearm against the steering wheel and stare out. “When everything felt like it was gonna swallow me whole, I’d drive up here and just sit.”
She’s quiet for a moment. “Did it help?”
“Sometimes.” I reach across and find her hand in her lap. “Having the city down there and me up here made it feel like nothing could reach me. Like I was above it all.”
Her fingers close around mine. “And now?”
The question sits in the air between us, easy and open, with no pressure behind it. The agonizing noise can reach me just fine these days. It lives inside me now.
The blackouts. The threats. Leon’s face behind my eyes at three in the morning when the quiet gets too loud, and the past stops pretending it’s finished with me.
I give her hand a squeeze and keep the rest of it where it belongs. “Now that I’ve got you back, and I have a fantasy I wouldn’t mind making a reality.”
“Callum, you’re being naughty.” She flashes me those blue eyes, filled with seduction. “What do you have in mind?”
“I wanna witness the stars take over the sky while we sit on my car and count all the reasons we’re blessed.”
“Blessed?” She laughs all warm and joyful. “That’s not a word I ever expected to hear from you, but I like it.”
“That’s how I feel when I’m with you.” I kiss her knuckles one at a time. “It’s how I’ve always felt when I’m around you.”
“Well, aren’t you in a sweet mood?” She leans over and plants a kiss on my lips. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining.”
“I just realize how lucky I am. That’s all.” I push my door open. “Ready to enjoy the dusk turning to dawn with me?”
“Every night if you want.”
We get out of the car, and I pop the trunk. I pull out the old blanket I keep back there, the one that’s been in this car longer than most of the relationships in my life. Livianna trails behind me around to the front, the canyon air lifting the hem of my T-shirt around her thighs.
I spread the blanket across the hood and smooth out the edges. “Climb on, vixen.”
“Wow. You’re going to let me sit on top of your prized possession?” She plants her palms on the warm metal and pushes herself up without hesitation, tucking her legs beneath her and settling in as if she’s done this a hundred times.
She hasn’t. But she fits there like she has.
“Anything for you.” I pull myself up beside her and lean back against the windshield, one knee bent, the other leg stretched out toward the headlight.
Above us, the sky has gone deep indigo at the edges, the first stars punching through the last of the amber. The city below buzzes and sparkles with countless lives unfolding all around us, none of them mirroring our own.
Her shoulder presses softly against mine. The blanket holds the heat of the engine beneath us, and the air up here carries the dry sage and dust of the canyon. She tilts her head back and lets out a long, slow breath.
“This is exactly what I needed.” Her fingers find mine on the blanket between us. “I didn’t know I needed it until right now.”
“Yeah.” I close my hand around hers. “Guess I was reading your mind.”
The silence holds for a minute. A good minute, and I fucking love this moment.
She shifts beside me. “How’s the album coming along?”
“Almost done.” I tip my chin up toward the sky. “Three tracks left to mix. Two of them are basically there. The third one’s giving me hell, but it’ll come.”
“You’re amazing at what you do, so I’m sure it will.” She’s quiet for a beat, and the city glitters below us. Her thumb traces a slow line across my skin where our hands connect. “When does the tour start?”
“Right after the album drops. Mayhem needs to be on the road within two weeks of release. Forty dates. North America first, then Europe.”
“How long will you be gone?”
“Three months, give or take. You can come along if you want.” I point at the stars coming in faster now, the indigo above us deepening toward black at the center. “There they are.”
“They’re beautiful.” She keeps her gaze upward. “I want to go, at least for some of it. The brand is in a place where I can move some things around. Ella’s been running the day-to-day better than I ever could.”
“Then come.” I pull her close and kiss her temple, the same way I used to when I was eighteen and the whole world felt like it was just getting started. “Come for as much of it as you can.”
“I’ll figure it out.” She leans her head against my shoulder. “Three months is a long time to sleep alone.”
“Tell me about it, Lily. Tell me.” The stars keep coming in above us, one by one, filling in the dark as I consider Mayhem’s schedule. “I don’t think I can go that long without you.”
“Me neither.” She snuggles up to me, and only the chirping of crickets can be detected. Then she sits up. “Shit, Callum. We’re going to have a problem.”