Chapter 35
Chapter Thirty-Five
JAXON/JAX
Now
Spring Lines & Standing Questions
One interruption saves me. Another might not.
David drops me off in front of CVI’s building, and just as I step out of the car, Livianna comes out of the front door, veering toward the coffee shop.
My pulse quickens. “Livianna, would you care for some company?”
She stops and glances over her shoulder toward me. “Oh, hi Jaxon. You’re welcome to join me, but I’m in a hurry.”
“Perfect. I have meetings all day, but I have some time now.” I place my briefcase on the backseat, tell David to wait until I get back, and go to Livianna’s side. “You’ve been busy since Paris.”
“Yes, I have.” She gestures to the sidewalk and strides forward with focus. “I’m excited about the spring line and need to get it all together soon.”
“What does it need most right now?” I match her gait as we head down the block.
“Fabric approvals and the general direction it’s going in.” She checks the time on her phone without breaking pace. “Ella’s swamped and the logistics are kind of messy.”
“You’ll get it. You always do.”
That earns me a small smile, gone the second a delivery truck rumbles past and steals her attention.
“I keep thinking about Fashion Week.” I study her profile instead of the street ahead of us. “You were unusually quiet after you remembered Dead Lilies.”
Her steps falter, just barely, before she recovers. “What about it?”
“You seemed to withdraw for the rest of the week.”
“I don’t really want to talk about that.” She adjusts the strap of her purse higher on her shoulder. “It’s not important anymore.”
“Livianna.”
“I said it’s not important.” She gives me a side-eye warning.
“Fair enough.”
We reach the corner and wait for the light, close enough that her shoulder brushes mine when the crowd behind us pushes forward. I warm to her touch.
Which makes me blurt out what’s really on my mind. “I've barely seen you since Paris.”
Her steps slow the moment we’re clear of the crosswalk. “About that…”
“I’m all ears.”
“Can I ask you a question?” She stops in front of the coffee shop door, hand still resting on the strap of her bag. “A personal one. And I need you to actually answer it, Jaxon. Don’t deflect the way you always do. This isn’t a business conversation.”
“Fine.”
“Promise me first.” Her grip on the door handle tightens enough that her knuckles pale. “Whatever it is. You’ll tell me the truth.”
“You know I don’t lie to you, Livianna. I never have.”
“Not here.” She glances at the window, at the line already forming behind the glass, and shakes her head. “I don’t even want coffee anymore. I want privacy, and I want answers.”
“There’s a bench across the street.” I motion toward the park entrance. “Will that work?”
She’s already rushing away before I finish the sentence, crossing at the gap in traffic without waiting for the light, and I follow her across.
The bench sits under a tree, and she takes the far end of it, putting more distance between us than the space actually requires.
“I want to talk about Lehlani Rose Designs.” She sets her purse down beside her and folds her hands in her lap. “Not the spring line. The whole thing and how it started.”
“What about it?”
“I’ve been thinking. You helped me with my business from the start.” She traces the rose tattoos around her wrists that cover her scars. “What I can’t figure out is why you helped me more than the other mentees.”
I rest my arm over the back of the bench. “Is that a question?”
“Yes.” She stops what she’s doing. “Why did you give me individualized help?”
Because I wanted to spend as much time with you as I could. But I don’t share that.
“Livianna, I saw potential. You had a built-in platform, making it easy to pivot and?—”
“Jaxon, I said this isn’t a business conversation.”
“Then I’m confused.” I run my hand down my beard. “You said you wanted to talk about Lehlani Rose Designs.”
She huffs and peeks up at the sky. “I knew you’d do this.”
“Do what?”
“Talk in circles about business when I’m trying to talk about how you fit into my life.” She glares my way. “Trent told me you and I had a unique connection.”
I nod and remain silent.
“Jaxon, please stop what you’re doing. Just tell me if I had any part in building my business, or if you did it all. Is any part of my company really mine?”
Now, I’m really confused. If this isn’t about her company, I don’t know what she’s talking about. I try my best to answer her questions.
“Lehlani Rose Designs was all you.” I shift to face her. “Sure, I helped with guiding you, but all the ideas and the way you run your business were, and are, all yours.”
“That makes me feel a little better.” She noticeably relaxes her stiff muscles. “Now for the rest.”
“What’s the rest?”
“That’s what I need you to tell me.” Her cheeks turn red. “What was our relationship?”
I consider the question, turning toward the park, and trying to find a way to be honest with her while being respectful of her marriage.
“Livianna, we were close. I’ve always told you that.”
She rises to her feet, towering over me. “I know you have. That’s what I’m asking about. How close were we?”
“Close.”
“And I’m just supposed to be content with that explanation?”
“What else do you want to hear?”
“The truth. The whole truth.”
My front desk assistant comes in through the speaker on my desk. “Mr. Crowne, Cash Mayze is here for your meeting.”
“Send him in.”
Thank God Cash called when he did. I was two seconds from telling Livianna everything. I believe she remembers more than she’s letting on, and I was ready to see how much she can recall.
The door opens just as I stand, and Cash struts in wearing a leather jacket, hands shoved deep in his pockets.
“Cash.” I gesture to the chair across from my desk. “Please sit.”
He circles the chair once, fingers dragging along the back, eyes on the framed photo of the Eiffel Tower on my wall instead of on me.
“Are you all right, Cash?” I lean back, giving him the space to pace as long as he needs to.
“Yes. No. I don’t know.” He finally drops into the chair, elbows on his knees, and his head lower. “I hate coming here like this.”
“Take your time.”
He rubs his palms slowly together as if he’s trying to warm them up in a room that isn’t cold.
“I need your help with something.” He glances up, then back down at his hands.
“You know I’m always here for you.” I keep my expression steady because whatever cracked him open enough to sit in my office looking like a frightened child has him balancing on the edge. Spooking him now would shut the door before it’s fully opened. “Whatever it is, you’re not asking a stranger.”
“I know. That’s the only reason I’m here.” He drags a hand down his face. “Something happened. At the Laurel Canyon house. I can’t explain it, and it’s messing with my head.”
“And you thought I’d be the right person to go to with this?”
He nods and finally sits back, shoulders dropping an inch. “You helped me before, and I think you can again.”
“What happened, Cash?”
“I blacked out.” He says it fast, like ripping off a bandage. “A full night. Gone. No memory of any of it. I woke up like nothing happened, except things happened, Jaxon. Things I can’t account for. And this isn’t the first time.”
“I see.” A niggle sets in my stomach. “Any idea what caused it?”
“Yeah, but nothing for sure.”
“Tell me what you’re thinking.”
He stands and marches to the window. “You know how you helped me with that technology a few years ago?”
“The earrings that were made to record conversations without detection?”
“Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about.”
I rise to his level, careful to keep my distance. He’s coiled too tight, and I’m afraid he might run off.
“Cash, what does that have to do with your blackouts?”
“I’m not sure, but I need something that can…” He spins around to me with wild eyes. “I don’t know what I need. That’s why I’m here. You know how to get out of situations like this.”
I pull back with raised eyebrows. “First, calm down and let’s start with security.”
“On it.” He works his jaw back and forth. “I have one guy on Livianna that she knows about and three others at a distance. They can’t get to her.”
My heart beat slows. “Good. You’re on the right track, but what about security for you?”
“For fuck’s sake. They’ll go for her, not me.”
“Who is ‘they?’” I center myself, knowing this is the point where he usually backpedals.
“The people who think I owe them something.”
Okay, we’re getting somewhere today.
I take a chance and approach his side. “Is this about Leon?”
Cash turns away, breathing heavily. “It’s about my fucking destiny.”
“How so?”
“My pops had some debt he left behind. I’ve been held responsible for years.” Cash fakes a laugh. “There is no goddamn debt. It’s all about control.”
“Your abuser is involved?”
“All that talk was hypothetical.” His angry gaze cuts to me. “I never said I was abused.”
“You didn’t have to.” I sit, maintaining eye contact. “When you say you need my help, I’m here to assist you, but I can’t do anything without all the information. And your past doesn’t scare me, Cash. Tell me everything, and we can figure this out.”
“No. You’re better off staying out of this.” He paces the length of the room. “Fuck, I know I’m not making any sense because I’m here asking for your help, but I think it’s better if you don’t know the specifics.”
“Then explain to me how this works.” I give him all the power.
He needs it in this situation. Otherwise, I’m never going to find out what Cash is hiding and just how dangerous his life is. Which has a direct line back to Livianna.
I let the silence hold a beat longer than it needs to because Cash has spent a lot of time being handled, and I’m not interested in being one more person who does that to him.
“What are you actually afraid of, Cash?” I rest back, opening my stance. “Not the security logistics. The real thing underneath all that.”
“I do this with my therapist, not you.” He shakes his head, a short, sharp motion. “I don’t talk about being scared with you.”
“You’re doing it right now.”
“Fine, Jaxon. Fucking hell, you can be infuriating.” He drags in a breath and lets it out. “I’m terrified he’s not done.”
“Who is ‘he,’ Cash?”
“The person who left a message for me on a whiteboard.”
“What did it say?”
He drops into the chair beside me. “Miss me, Cash? I’m getting closer.”
Adrenaline strikes me, and I about jump to my feet, but I refrain. “Did you show your security team? Did they investigate it?”
“They know about it.”
“Do they know who you suspect?”
He lowers his head. “Yeah, but they don’t know anything about… They have the facts they need.”
“Who did you tell them you suspected?”
He takes a long pause, then his body collapses into his seat. “Leon.”
“Okay.” I nod once, giving it the weight it deserves without pushing past it. “What’s his angle? What does he actually want out of this?”
The muscles in Cash’s jaw twitch. “Control. He’s wanted it since he worked with my pops. This is just him reminding me he still has it.”
Leon is Cash’s abuser, and now I want to kill him myself. Sometimes displacement is a wonderful thing, since I can’t get to mine.
Rage builds in my gut, heating my skin. “It doesn’t have to be that way.”
“I know. That’s why I’m here.” He gazes over with tired eyes. “What else do I need? I feel like I’m missing something, and if that’s true, not even love could save me. It’s like it’s my fate.”
“You keep bringing up destiny and fate. Why?”
“It just feels like it’s in play. No matter what I do, Leon’s always there.”
I furrow my brow. “Do you think he’s behind the blackouts?”
“That’s another thing.”
“What?”
“You know I have drug issues. I’ve done more shit than anyone I know. I don’t even know the shit I’ve done.”
“So? You’re clean now, right?”
“Yeah, but…” He runs his palms down his jeans. “What if I’ve fucked up my head and I’m losing my mind?”
“Are you suggesting you’re having some kind of aftereffect from years of drug use?”
He looks me square in the eyes. “Exactly.”
“Cash, I don’t have a history with drugs, but from what I know, people who use and stop don’t blackout.”
“But what if I was taking something none of those guys were?” His breathing speeds up. “A designer drug that no one can get. Something that has lasting side effects. What if I was drugged, and it was bad stuff?”
“What do you mean, drugged?”
“You know, someone puts drugs into you without your consent.”
That lands hard, too hard, and it all starts to stack in place. The picture of Leon, Zara, and her father hits the center of my brain.
Basically, he just told me Leon drugged him. Where did Leon get these “designer” drugs? Edward Thorne.
My stomach drops. I start to shake, realizing that I might have an unknowing hand in Cash’s trauma. Trauma that I swore I would never be a part of. Ever. And here I am, the direct cause of the despair he must feel anytime he thinks about it.
I’ve got to fix this, fix everything.
I rise to my feet and march to my desk. “Here’s what we’re going to do.”
He stands, rocking from one leg to the other. “Whatever you say, I’m in.”
“I’m going to get you a doctor’s appointment with the best brain specialist. You’ll have a full examination done. In the meantime, you need someone watching Leon. If he’s bold enough to be sending messages, he’s bold enough to strike if there’s an opportunity.”
“I’m only in town for a little while. There’s no time for doctors and all the tests they’ll put me through.”
“Then I’ll fly them to you.” My stomach churns and I coil into myself. “Whatever you need, I can get it arranged. And you need a team on Leon. If you can’t?—”
“I’ll get it set up, but he’s got his own team, so he’s gonna know he’s being followed.”
Cash isn’t wrong.
I lean against my desk, analyzing that. “Maybe there’s another way.”
“Like?”
“Technology. Just like you said, you used it against him before. We can do something like that again.”
Cash takes a step back. “I never said my need for that device was to record Leon.”
“This is not the time to be defensive. We don’t need to discuss specifics, but we both know the general disgust of who Leon Baker really is.”
Cash shoves his hands into his pockets, glaring at me. I give him silence, allowing him to be with his anger. It’s not me he’s upset with, and I know it.
After a few beats, he shrugs with a snarl still on his lips. “What do you have in mind?”