Chapter 7
Claire
On Monday afternoon, my cubicle is filled to the brim with students. Ellie told her friend Jack, who told his buddy Rodrigo, and word got out that Professor Beaumont was helping students in her office with prerequisite algebra skills.
I try to give each student individual attention, just a couple of minutes to look over their problems, before moving to the next. It’s exhausting, but so, so fulfilling.
I have so many students that some of them are perched in Ryan’s cubicle, too. Ryan, whom I haven’t seen since I announced I was engaged last Monday.
His absence looms over me. I feel incomplete without his jokes and presence. He’s half of what I love about this job. Sure, teaching is amazing and fulfilling, but having my best friend work right beside me made this the best job ever.
And maybe it’s selfish, but I also miss talking to him about my book. I’ve been working on the synopsis, and I’m getting more clarity on the dark moment of the story. Ryan is the only person who knows about the book, and I feel lost without his support.
I’ve been trying to figure out what he’s thinking, and the only explanation for his behavior is that I’m engaged.
But does he think that means we can’t be friends?
That would be ridiculous. I wish he’d give me a chance to talk to him, but he’s completely gone, and every text I’ve sent has been answered with a “sorry, things are so busy!” excuse.
As I’m bent down fixing Rodrigo’s solution to a system of linear equations, my gigantic ring catches the light. “Yikes, Professor B. That ring is blinding. Your fiancé must be loaded.”
Hah.
I ignore his comment and point out the place where he forgot to distribute a negative when I hear a throat clearing behind me.
It’s Liam Patel, a fellow math professor and snooty know-it-all.
He glares down at me, his thin-framed glasses sliding down the bridge of his nose, and his sweater vest judging my every move.
“Wow, look at you,” he sneers. “So many students needing help.”
If those words came from anyone else, I’d take it as a compliment. But coming from Liam, it’s criticism. He must think I’m not teaching well enough, so they need extra time outside of class to learn the material.
I just paste on a big grin. “Yep. I love helping my students.”
“Looks like you’re running a tutoring center,” he says, a smirk on his face.
It’s like a lightbulb goes off in my head.
A tutoring center.
Granted, Liam didn’t mean it in a positive way, but I don’t even care. I feel the fake grin on my lips turn into a huge, genuine smile. “Liam, I could hug you right now.”
His eyes widen, and he looks almost disgusted. “I’ll pass, thanks.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right,” I say.
He rushes away from my cubicle, and I’m not worried about weirding him out. He gave me the most brilliant idea that will help my students and fix my problem with Ryan.
“A tutoring center?” Janet repeats. “But students can already receive free tutoring in the library.”
“I know,” I say, leaning forward in my seat.
After Liam left, I sent Janet an email asking for a meeting ASAP, which wasn’t able to happen until the next morning, so here I am. The plus side is that it gave me the time I needed to flesh out the idea properly, considering all the angles so I have a cohesive plan to present.
“But here’s the thing,” I continue. “Ever since we cut our algebra classes, students have had less and less prerequisite knowledge. And while the tutors are doing a great job, they don’t understand exactly what is required of our students the way we do.
If we create a center for the students, specifically those in calculus, and let them know that their actual instructors will be there, we might have a shot at getting them to come. ”
Janet pauses, rapping her fingers on the table as she thinks. “It’s a good idea,” she finally says. “And we do have extra funding from the state after they cut those classes.”
“Exactly! At the last meeting, Christopher mentioned we still have funds left over. He was planning on making more…videos.”
She arches a brow at me. “Yes, I’m aware.” She exhales and taps her fingers on the table again. “And where would you have it? Our building is still being renovated.”
“I know. I have a few ideas, like the technology building or the first floor of the library. Or there’s that empty bungalow outside the math department!” I realize I’m babbling out of nerves, so I stop and take a deep breath. “But I can iron out those details as I work.”
“Mm-hmm.” She nods thoughtfully, and I know I’ve got her now. “I think we can make it happen. But this isn’t something you can do all by yourself.”
“I agree. I’d need someone to help me.”
She raises a brow. “Do you have any ideas?”
“I was thinking of Ryan.”
She smirks at me. “I had a feeling you’d say that.”
“It’s perfect for him,” I say, rushing to explain.
“I know we’ll work well together.” I don’t say anything about his tenure, unsure if I should be talking about his private issues.
I also don’t mention the fact that he’s been acting weird around me for the last week, and this will give us an opportunity to hang out and clear the air.
“Have you talked to him about this?” Janet asks.
“Well, uh, no, not yet,” I stammer. “But of course he’ll say yes.”
Am I convincing her or myself?
He’ll say yes…right?
I check my watch, and having Ryan’s schedule memorized, say, “We can call him now. He might be available to come in.”
Janet nods and picks up her phone. She presses a few buttons, holds it to her ear, and waits. Then she says, “Hello, Ryan. Can you come into my office? I have a question for you.” She listens for a minute, then hangs up. “He’ll be here in a minute.”
“Great.” We sit in a moment of silence, and my heart starts hammering in my chest. Now that the reality is setting in—that Ryan is about to be here, and I’m going to see him for the first time in over a week—I realize how nervous I am.
What if he says no?
He wouldn’t, right?
This is for his tenure, but it’s also an opportunity for us to be together and hang out. You know, for fun. The thing we had before I got engaged.
Janet looks unbothered, clicking on her mouse and taking care of her business while I sit and smooth out my dress. I focus intently on the etched petals of a purple flower, willing myself to calm down. It’s just Ryan! Why am I nervous?
A knock sounds on the door, followed by the creak of it opening slowly. “Janet?” Ryan’s voice says.
“Yes, come in,” Janet says, making another click of her mouse before setting her hands in her lap.
Ryan enters the room, and the knot in my stomach loosens at the sight of him. I feel an instant grin filling my face as I take in his gray long-sleeve shirt and black jeans.
But when he sees me sitting there, it doesn’t seem like he has the same reaction. He pauses, just for a moment, and a whirl of emotions crosses over his face—surprise, confusion, and almost a flare of frustration.
Why would he be frustrated with me?
I see the moment he controls his expression and smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. As he sits down next to me, he says, “Hey, Claire. I didn’t expect to see you here.”
I bite my bottom lip, nervous again. “Yeah, I had an idea to run by Janet, and I think you’ll want to be part of it with me.”
“Oh?” He looks at Janet. “What’s up?”
Janet gestures at me. “Claire wants to open a tutoring center, specifically for students in Calculus who need extra assistance with their algebra skills. And she thinks you’d be interested in helping.”
I look over at Ryan, hoping to see him smile and agree, but he’s silent. Instead, he looks at Janet, then back at me. He sits back in his seat, shakes his head, and says, “No, thanks.”
What?