Chapter 32 #3
The smirk that worked its way onto Billie’s lips had the hairs on the back of Debra’s neck standing upright. “Mmhmm. I’m dating you, all right.”
Debra kissed her and stepped back. “Call me if you’re taking a break.
It’ll keep me sane and stop me from cleaning the kitchen more than once.
” Debra finished her coffee and reached for her coat…
barely making it two steps before Billie caught her again and slipped her arms around her waist from behind.
Billie rested her chin on Debra’s shoulder as she said, “Just so you know, it felt really good waking up here with you this morning.”
“I know.” Debra’s throat welled with emotion. “It felt good being here with you.” She turned in Billie’s arms and cupped her face with both hands. “Have a good day. I’ll see you tonight.”
Debra had never been the type of woman to spend the day smiling at her phone.
She’d always preferred to be practical, the kind of person who replied when she needed to reply.
She’d never considered herself to be someone who hovered over a message thread like a love-struck teenager.
But today, she’d apparently decided to rewrite the rules of her entire personality, because she’d been doing exactly that since late morning.
Reading Billie’s texts, replying very quickly, then putting her phone down like that would somehow absolve her of her sheer laziness today.
It wasn’t working, and that was becoming increasingly clear.
She scrolled to the beginning of today’s messages again.
You owe me an update. Did you behave once you got home?
Debra had smiled at that one, mostly because last night had seen Billie struggling to behave.
I behaved. Mostly.
Oh, how the tables had turned today.
Mostly sounds suspicious to me…
Debra hadn’t meant to start flirting, not while Billie was at work, but it had tipped over into that very quickly.
Mostly means I unpacked my bag and didn’t immediately climb back into bed and think about you. That could have been a very messy situation.
She’d known Billie would take the bait, but it only left Debra struggling to focus on anything at all.
Fuck! That’s the hottest thing you’ve ever said to me.
Debra had actually laughed out loud at that one. Belly laughed…because there was nothing more ridiculous in this world than Billie Brown being reduced to flirting over text like she had nothing better to do.
But it wasn’t just Billie, was it? Debra kept catching herself drifting back to this morning. To Billie’s hands on her waist and the way her voice had sounded when she’d told Debra she didn’t want her to leave.
Debra had tried to keep herself busy. She’d put some laundry on, she’d wiped down the kitchen surfaces twice, and she’d rearranged part of her living room so the TV could be seen better from all angles.
She’d even sat down with a cup of coffee and opened a book at one point…
only to realise she’d been turning the same page back and forth for ten minutes, not taking in a single word.
Because she could still feel Billie’s arms around her.
And it wasn’t about the sex or the lust, although that was absolutely there. It was about the comfort she felt.
Her phone buzzed again.
I’m trying not to text you too much.
Debra grinned down at her screen.
Don’t try. Just…be who you are.
Three dots appeared immediately.
I can’t wait to see you tonight.
Debra’s chest fluttered at that. She exhaled a slow breath and set her phone down on the counter again, choosing not to continue this. She would see Billie this evening. They could say and do whatever they wanted then. But right now, Billie had a business to run, and Debra had thoughts to gather.
Just as she reached for her lukewarm coffee on the table, the doorbell rang.
Debra froze, startled by the sound, then frowned.
She wasn’t expecting anyone. Not Billie, not the postman…
nobody. The bell rang again, this time for longer.
It seemed whoever it was knew she was home, knew she’d heard it, and didn’t care for being ignored.
Debra rolled her eyes. That could only be one person. She crossed the room and swung the door open. Maeve stood there holding a paper bag in one hand, while wearing the exact same expression she’d worn for the last twenty-five years whenever she’d decided she was about to meddle.
“Don’t,” Debra warned. “I swear. Just…don’t.”
Maeve pressed a hand to her chest and feigned innocence. “Don’t what?”
“Whatever it is you’re about to say, don’t say it.”
Maeve looked her up and down slowly. She was wearing comfortable leggings and an old jumper, and Debra was aware that she looked domestic in a way she hadn’t been for a long time. Clearly, Maeve noticed, because her mouth twitched.
“I was nearby,” Maeve said as she cleared her throat and lifted the bag. “And I brought pastries.”
Debra narrowed her eyes. “You never bring pastries.”
“Exactly. This is how you know I’m here for a serious conversation. I haven’t heard from you since you called and told me you were thinking about inviting Billie over. I’m worried you’re in your head again.”
Debra stared at her, then stepped aside with a sigh. “Come in.”
Maeve walked in and immediately paused in the middle of the hallway. She didn’t need to look far to see the mood Debra was in. It was there, radiating off her like a neon sign.
Maeve turned slowly. “Oh, my God!”
Debra closed the door and faced her best friend. “What?”
“That face!”
Debra frowned. “What face?”
“That face,” Maeve repeated, her voice rising with elation. “Debra, you look—”
“If you say ‘glowing’, I’m going to throw you out.”
Maeve grinned. “You look like you’ve been thoroughly—”
“Maeve!”
Maeve held up a hand. “Alright. Fine. I won’t say anything else.”
Oh, I’m sure you will…
Debra followed her into the living room, watching as Maeve took in her space. The throw blanket half-folded on the arm of the couch and Debra’s cup on the counter, the…overall calmness of the day.
Maeve sank down into the couch with a dramatic sigh. “Right, tell me everything.”
Debra paused, a little stunned by how quickly emotion had just welled in her throat.
Because this wasn’t a casual update, and it wasn’t gossip.
This was, somehow, her life tipping into something new.
Something she hadn’t expected to want so soon after her divorce.
In her mind, wanting something so achingly beautiful had always been the quickest route to disappointment.
“Deb?”
Debra exhaled and lowered herself into the armchair opposite. “I…stayed at Billie’s last night.”
“You stayed?” Maeve’s eyes widened, delighted and startled all at once. “Debra, that’s…this is huge.”
“Oh, I’m well aware.”
“Did you, you know—”
Debra shot her a look.
“Right. Sorry.” Maeve cleared her throat. “This is amazing news.”
The way Maeve said that just reminded Debra how important and huge this actually was. Because Maeve had seen all of it. The lonely marriage and the divorce that followed. The years of Debra diminishing herself until she fit into a life that had never really felt like hers.
But most of all, Debra knew that Maeve desperately wanted this for her.
Debra swallowed. “I’ve never felt that way before. The way I felt last night, I mean. She just…I can’t explain it. We both felt…safe.”
Maeve stilled. “Safe?”
“Yes. Safe.”
Maeve watched her carefully from across the room. “And how does Billie seem now that you’re moving forward with one another?”
Debra smiled. God, that was the easiest answer in all of this today. “Happy.”
“Billie Brown…” Maeve blinked repeatedly. “Happy?”
“I know. It feels ridiculous. I’m in my fifties for the love of God.” Debra ran her hands down her thighs and took a breath. “But she’s different now. She’s…lighter.”
“Right.”
“She’s not perfect, none of us are, and she’s still her in so many different ways, but she’s trying.”
Maeve leaned in, her elbows braced on her knees. “And what about you?”
“I, um…” Debra laughed and shook her head. “I think I’m dating her.”
Maeve went completely still. “Debra…”
“I don’t want to get carried away.” Debra held up a hand, stopping Maeve before she could start. “I know what’s happening, but I’m not getting my hopes up just yet. Billie has a lot to work through, and I’m expecting wobbles here and there.”
“No,” Maeve said firmly. “Debra, stop it. Stop trying to talk yourself down. You deserve to be carried away for once.”
Debra swallowed and nodded slowly. “I’m trying.”
“Do you feel like it’s real? Like it’s not just…the intensity?”
Debra thought about Billie’s hands clinging to her this morning and the way she’d looked at her like she couldn’t quite believe Debra had stayed. “It’s real,” Debra said with certainty. “It’s not just sex. She wants me in her life. And I want her in mine.”
“Then that’s it, isn’t it?”
Debra frowned. “It’s…what?”
“That’s the answer.” Maeve shrugged. “That’s what you’ve been missing. Not someone perfect. Not someone uncomplicated. Just…someone you want to come home to.”
Debra swallowed down the lump in her throat. “I’m scared.”
“Of course you are.” Maeve leaned across the coffee table and squeezed Debra’s hand. “You’re only human. It’s perfectly fine to be scared.”
Debra’s phone buzzed again on the couch, but she ignored it.
Maeve glanced over at it. “Would that be her by any chance?”
“More than likely.” Debra huffed a laugh. “She hasn’t stopped all morning.”
Maeve grinned. “Show me.”
When Maeve lifted her brows at Debra’s hesitancy, Debra sighed and grabbed the phone, turning the screen towards her. Maeve read the most recent message and immediately burst into delighted laughter.
Thinking about your mouth again for the millionth time today. Professionally, obviously!
Debra groaned. “Oh, my God.”
“Debra!” Maeve slapped a hand over her own mouth as she gasped. “She’s obsessed with you!”
Debra’s cheeks immediately heated. “She’s…expressive.”
“Mmhmm. That’s one word for it.”
Debra set the phone down again and leaned back, her gaze drifting up to the ceiling. God, it was ridiculous to feel this way. If she wasn’t careful, she’d be borderline in love with Billie Brown before she arrived here this evening.
“Hey.” Maeve rose to her feet and sat on the edge of the coffee table, directly in front of Debra. “I’m really happy for you, love.”
Debra looked back at her best friend of twenty-five years, the honesty in her eyes there for anyone to see. “Yeah?”
“Of course.” Maeve nodded. “And I’m not saying this because I want you to jump headfirst into another relationship, I’m saying it because I’ve watched you survive for years. You deserve to live.”
A comfortable silence settled between them, and then there was a knock at the door. Debra’s heart jolted like it already knew who was waiting on the other side. It could only be the one person she was aching to see right now.
Maeve’s brows lifted. “Were you expecting someone?”
“No. Not yet.” Debra rose to her feet, her pulse thundering in her ears. She crossed the hallway, that now familiar warmth spreading throughout her. When she opened the door, she smiled so wide that it practically hurt. “Billie…”