Chapter Ten #3
At the back door, they were surprised at how warm it had become, the fall breeze carrying the scent of earth and crushed leaves as it slid around them and ruffled their hair.
Lily slid off her coat as they headed to their car, then turned back to Jenna with a smile and asked simply, “What have you got to lose, you know?” She tossed a wink at her, then eased into the car, leaving Jenna standing there and wondering about the answer.
Jenna was exhausted.
She always was after a signing at the shop, whether it was busy or not.
If it was busy, like tonight had been, she’d be running around like a madwoman, taking care of customers, making sure her author was comfortable, getting everybody whatever they needed.
And even if it wasn’t busy, she’d spend her time chatting with the author, keeping them occupied with conversation to take their mind off the fact that they weren’t signing many books.
Both situations wrung her out.
Now that she’d locked up the shop and was on her way home, the fatigue settled into her muscles and bones, her body absorbing it like a sponge set in a bowl of warm water, and all she wanted was to collapse into her bed and sleep for a week.
Seeing Sawyer sitting on the front porch, seemingly waiting for her, was most definitely not something she expected.
“Hi again,” she said as she climbed the stairs. With her eyes, she indicated the two wine glasses sitting on the little table next to Sawyer’s chair. “One of those for me, or are you saving yourself a trip inside for a second glass for yourself?”
Sawyer grinned, her eyes soft behind the lenses of her glasses.
“Definitely for you. Figured you earned it.” She picked up a glass and held it out to her.
“It’s an Amarone that my mother loves. The last time I bought her a bottle, I snagged a couple for myself.
” Jenna took the glass, and Sawyer held up her own.
“To an absolutely stellar book signing.”
Jenna smiled and they touched glasses with a soft ping. The sip coated her tongue in a subtle sweetness with a hint of raisin and a little spice. “Oh, that’s fabulous.”
“Right?”
With a soft sigh, Jenna said, “I need to take Arnold for a walk. He’s been cooped up most of the day. Can I finish this after?”
“Of course. Do you…” Sawyer looked at her for a quick moment before finishing. “Want company?”
“I’d love it.” The words were out before she even thought about them—something that seemed to be happening a lot around Sawyer Hall. A few minutes later, she exited her house with a very excited Arnold, all harnessed and leashed.
“Gorgeous night,” Sawyer said softly as they strolled down their street.
It was dark, but the streetlights made walking easy.
Houses were decorated for Halloween, some with lights or inflatable figures in their front lawns.
One house had a large black cat with glowing eyes and a moving head.
Arnold growled low in the back of his throat as he stared at it.
“You gonna save us from that mean old cat, Arnold?” Sawyer squatted down to give the dog some pats and reassurance.
Jenna watched, a weird wave of something flowing through her.
“Tonight was fun,” Sawyer said. “Lily was really nice.”
“She’s great. I adore her.”
“You known her long?” They stopped so Arnold could sniff a tree, then pee on it.
“Six years? Maybe seven?” Jenna said. “She was already on her way to being a bestseller, but I caught her just before that happened. I had just opened the shop and she wandered in. I had no idea who she was at the time, and she’s so humble.
Never played that card. It wasn’t until I’d rung up her purchases and saw her name on her credit card that I realized.
We set up her first signing right then and there. ”
“And the rest is history,” Sawyer said.
“Exactly. She always does a signing with me—which I appreciate more than I can say because she certainly doesn’t have to. There are much bigger bookstores than mine in Northwood. And if she doesn’t have a new book out but she’s in town visiting her family, she always stops in to say hi.”
“She’s a cool woman. She was great with my mom. And Courtney.” Sawyer groaned.
“Oh, your poor sister. She’s just miserable.” Jenna laughed softly, then caught herself. “I don’t mean to laugh. She’s just funny about it.”
Sawyer laughed too. “She is. Today, she compared herself to a sumo wrestler because she can no longer see her feet.”
“She is carrying that baby all in the front, isn’t she?”
“Like she’s got a beach ball under her shirt.”
They were still chuckling as they came back to their house and headed up the walk.
“Nobody stole our wine,” Sawyer said.
“Thank God. Let me feed my guys and I’ll be right out.”
“Deal.”
Inside her house, Jenna unclipped Arnold, then blew out a long breath as she leaned against the wall for a beat. She was utterly wiped out and should have just gone to bed, but what lay waiting for her on the front porch was too tempting—and that wasn’t something she’d expected.
She fed Wallace and Gromit and made a mental note to give them some extra love later. Arnold scarfed down his dinner in under two minutes, and she led him back out onto the porch, along with his dog bed. She put the gate up, then took her wine from Sawyer’s outstretched hand.
Sawyer had moved her chair to Jenna’s side of the porch, next to her loveseat. The wine was on the little table next to her.
“You could sit on the loveseat with me, you know,” Jenna said with what she hoped was a meaningful smile.
Sawyer grinned at her but stayed in her chair, subtext hanging in the air, untouched, like a raincloud about to let go. “I thought you might want to stretch out a bit after being on your feet for so long.”
She wasn’t wrong. Jenna shifted sideways and did exactly what Sawyer had suggested, and holy crap, had she ever been this comfortable? “That’s the stuff,” she muttered as she settled in. A beat of quiet went by and she added, “I can’t believe how nice it is out.”
“Right? I came out here with a blanket but didn’t need it.”
More silence as they sipped and just existed together. Being in the quiet with Sawyer wasn’t at all uncomfortable, not the way it could be with some people. Jenna felt no need to fill the silence, so they sat and sipped and watched the neighborhood.
“Thank you for coming tonight,” Jenna said softly after some time had passed. “You didn’t have to.”
“I didn’t come because I had to,” Sawyer said, and Jenna could feel her gaze. “I came because I wanted to.”
Jenna turned to look at her then. “Did you really finish the book?”
“I did.” Sawyer held up a hand. “Swear to God.”
“And you liked it?”
“I didn’t hate it.” Sawyer’s teasing expression was clear even in the dim lighting.
“Fair enough. Will you write about it on your blog?”
“Are you arching an eyebrow at me right now?”
“Hundred percent. It’s for emphasis.”
Sawyer laughed, and the sound was deep and husky and went straight to Jenna’s lower body. “I haven’t decided yet if I’ll blog about it.”
“Can’t have your fans thinking you’ve sold out to romance, now, can we?” Jenna smiled, taking any sting out of her words.
“I still say romance is unrealistic.” Sawyer sipped, then shook her head.
“Sometimes it is.”
Sawyer’s quick turn of her head to look at Jenna broadcast her surprise, and Jenna laughed. “What, did you think I was going to argue with you?”
“I mean, kinda, yeah.”
“Clearly, you need me to go over it once more, so I will. Ready? Romance is an escape. People don’t pick up a romance novel so they can see reality.
Reality is hard. Sometimes, reality fucking sucks.
You know? They pick up a romance because they want to get away from reality, at least for a little while.
They want to forget about their lazy partner and their screaming kids and their sink full of dirty dishes and their impossible boss, and they want to get lost in somebody else’s story.
And even if they don’t have any of those things, even if their partner is wonderful and their boss is amazing and their house is neat as a pin, they still want to go on that journey with the characters.
The journey of meeting that person and maybe trying to resist but finding yourself drawn in anyway.
That journey of reevaluating everything you thought you wanted or needed.
That journey of falling in love. Maybe we’ve already done that and maybe our life is just perfect.
But we still want to go on the journey. Because who doesn’t want that? ”
Sawyer was staring at her with a look she couldn’t pinpoint.
“What?”
A head shake. “Nothing. You just have such passion for the genre.” Sawyer took another sip of her wine.
Jenna hoped she couldn’t see her flush. “Yeah, I can blather on about the subject. Sorry about that.”
“No, no. Don’t apologize.” Sawyer was sitting close enough to reach out a hand and set it warmly on Jenna’s ankle. “It’s pretty cool to witness how much you love it.”
The flush deepened. So much more she could say. She settled on “Thanks.”
“It’s good to be passionate about something.” Sawyer’s grin was only slightly teasing.
“Yeah? What are you passionate about?” And suddenly, she wanted to know. Needed to know.
Sawyer tipped her head, obviously thinking. “That’s a good question. Hmm.” She took a moment before she spoke. “Well, as a technical writer, I’d say I’m passionate about proper grammar. Punctuation. Spelling.”
Jenna nodded. “Valid.”
“I can be passionate about wine.” She held up her glass.
“Mm-hmm.”
Another moment of silence went by. “You know what? I am passionate about the person I’m with.”
Jenna turned to look at her. Sawyer was gazing off into the distance. “Yeah?”
“Absolutely. I think it’s important to be. I mean, why else be with somebody, right?”
“Agreed.” She sipped her wine. “Were you passionate about Amanda?”
“Of course. In the beginning, I was all in.” Sawyer turned to meet her gaze, held it. “But it’s been a long time since I’ve felt that. For anybody.”
“Ah.” Jenna nodded.
The silence settled back in. Slightly charged, but still comfortable.
Jenna had so many questions, so many more things she wanted to know about Sawyer—even about her relationship with Amanda.
She’d seen them together, and they…they didn’t fit.
Not in Jenna’s mind. Amanda was beautiful, yes, but not in a warm, inviting way.
She was beautiful in a cold, untouchable way, like she was used to people admiring her from afar but not with them wanting to be close.
Sawyer was the opposite. She was just as beautiful, if not more so, but she was magnetic.
She drew people. You wanted to get close to her, to smell her, to touch her…
Jenna cleared her throat. Okay, enough of that line of thinking, yikes. “I really need to go to bed or I’m going to end up falling asleep on you right here.” Sawyer looked at her and grinned, and Jenna said it before she could. “Wouldn’t be the first time. I know.”
Sawyer’s soft laugh seemed to reverberate along Jenna’s limbs until it tingled in the tips of her fingers and toes. “I get it. You’ve had a super-busy night.” She stood up and moved her chair back to her side of the porch, then went back and held out a hand to Jenna.
She took it, and Sawyer hauled her to her feet. “Oh, that’s not better. That’s worse. I want to lie back down.”
“In your bed, champ. You’ll be glad when you wake up in the morning and don’t have the neighbors gawking at you here on the porch.”
“Valid.” She opened the door to let Arnold in, then grabbed the gate and his bed. Halfway through, she turned to meet Sawyer’s gaze. “I’m glad you came tonight.”
“Me too.”
“Good night, Sawyer.”
“ ’Night, Jenna.”
She went inside and closed her door, then stood quietly with her back against it and listened until Sawyer’s closed as well. Her body felt like rubber. Her brain was swirling. She gazed down at Arnold, who sat at her feet, looking up expectantly at her.
“What a weird night, Arnie,” she said with a slow shake of her head. “What a weird, weird night.”