Chapter Eleven
“Sweetie, I adore you, but you are so incredibly boring today, what with all the staring off into space.” Colton stood at Sawyer’s desk, and she flinched in surprise when he spoke. “See? You didn’t even realize I was here. I’m gonna start taking this personally.”
She grinned at him and gave herself a mental shake. “Sorry. Sorry. I’m just…distracted today.”
“Yeah, no kidding. You barely reacted to my story about my date with the fitness instructor.” He folded his arms.
“Oh my God, are you actually pouting?”
“You hurt my feelings.”
Sawyer burst into laughter. “Well, for that, I’m sorry. How can I make it up to you?”
“Come to lunch with me.”
A sigh, but in jest because Colton was one of her best friends, and she knew he was teasing.
Mostly. Besides, getting out of her cubicle and experiencing a change of scenery might help.
It wasn’t like she was getting any work done sitting there daydreaming.
He wasn’t wrong about that. “Fine. Let’s go to lunch. ”
Twenty minutes later, they were seated in a little café about a block from their office building.
If yesterday had been unseasonably warm, October was clearly done with that nonsense.
A brisk wind seemed to cut through Sawyer’s too-light jacket, and she’d had to pull it tightly around her for the brief walk.
She rarely ordered coffee with her lunch, but it was the first thing she did once they sat.
Now, both hands wrapped around the warm mug, she finally felt better.
“So, what’s with all the staring off blankly today?” Colton asked, then took a sip of his sparkling water. “Something you want to talk about? If not, that’s fine, it’s none of my business.” He waved a dismissive hand, then leaned forward and added, “Except you should talk about it anyway.”
She debated for about half a second before realizing that she did, indeed, want to talk about it.
Rolling it all around in her head certainly wasn’t getting her anywhere, except that much closer to going mad.
With a nod and a fortifying sip of much-needed caffeine, she launched into the story of Jenna that he hadn’t been privy to.
He knew about the apple picking, but she’d left it there, so now she told him about the rest. The appearance of Amanda at the house.
Sawyer’s reaction to her and Jenna witnessing some of it.
Jenna inviting Sawyer over and cooking her dinner.
The movie watching. The falling asleep like entangled vines, all wrapped up in each other.
The book signing. Right up to how Sawyer waited for Jenna to come home last night, a glass of wine poured for her.
“It was a gorgeous night, and she was wiped out, but she sat on the porch with me anyway.”
The waitress brought their orders, and when Sawyer looked up from her soup and salad, Colton was studying her face.
“What?” she asked, opening a napkin and draping it across her lap.
He shook his head and did the same. “Nothing. I’m just noticing the way you sort of light up when you talk about her.”
“Do I?”
Colton gave a snort. “Um, yes. Like the proverbial Christmas tree. You like her, and she clearly likes you.” He pulled the top piece of bread off his club sandwich and added extra mayo.
“You think?”
He tipped his head and hit her with a stare that said duh without saying it. “If she didn’t, she’d have gone to bed without hanging on the porch with you.”
“Maybe she just wanted the wine.”
“Maybe she just wanted you.”
Sawyer chewed a cherry tomato and held Colton’s gaze as he took a bite of his sandwich. Then she let out a long exhale through her nose.
“What?” he asked.
She shook her head.
“Sawyer. Talk to me.” He waved a finger in a circle in front of her face. “What’s causing this…frowning situation?”
“What if I’m too—”
“Don’t you dare say—”
“Damaged,” they finished together.
“Goddamn it.” He took an aggressive bite of his sandwich.
Sawyer grimaced.
“How many times do I have to tell you your experience with Amanda does not define you?” he said after a moment. “I don’t know why you think it does. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I mean, I did, though.”
“It’s debatable. You didn’t have all the information.”
She tipped her head. “I guess that’s true.”
“It is. You thought she’d be leaving her relationship. And she knew she had no intention of doing that.”
“She did it, though.”
He sighed, and this time, his expression was sympathetic. “Yeah. And that sucks elephant balls. I know it hurts. I’m sorry about that.”
“Me too.”
“But I stand by my assessment that you were operating without all the details. So, I repeat: You didn’t do anything wrong. And letting that selfish cow make you question your worth is not okay.”
Sawyer cleared her throat. “I know. You’re right. And I don’t feel as stuck. I was for a long time, as you know, but I don’t feel bound to her anymore. And I just…” She trailed off, not sure exactly how to put things into words.
“And you’re just surprised by this Jenna thing.”
She stared at him for a moment. “Yes. You’re stupidly wise. It’s frightening.”
He shrugged. “I know.”
“So, yeah, I’m surprised by this Jenna thing, as you put it.” That was pretty much it in a nutshell, wasn’t it? She’d chosen to relocate, start fresh, clean slate, all that business, and bam! There’s Jenna.
“The best things happen when you least expect them,” Colton said, chewing the last bite of his sandwich. “I mean, I wasn’t expecting the hedge fund guy.”
“You were at a gay dance club.”
“Still. I expected a guy, but not that guy.” Colton prided himself on his perpetually single lifestyle and his wide variety of dates, but Hedge Fund Guy had stuck around longer than the rest.
“You still see him?”
“Here and there,” Colton said, and the smile he tried to smother told her it was more than here and there.
“Anyway, my point is, you weren’t actively looking, and she appeared.
That’s usually a good sign.” He dabbed the corners of his mouth with a napkin.
“Why don’t you ask her out? Take her on a real date? ”
“Oh, I don’t know about that.”
“Why not?”
She didn’t have a good answer to that. Not one acceptable to Colton, anyway. She knew she felt out of practice. Rusty. A little silly. And, yes, kind of damaged. But she also knew she felt calm around Jenna. Relaxed. Easy.
That was something, right?
The rest of the day went by with her being slightly more focused, and she actually got some work done. She was driving home, several blocks from the house, when a blink of brown and white caught her eye as she passed. A glance in the rearview mirror made her narrow her eyes.
“What the hell?”
She pulled over, jammed the car into park, got out, and hurried back the way she’d come.
“Arnold?” As she called his name, she realized if it was in fact him, he wasn’t going to hear her.
He was trotting down the sidewalk heading for the intersection that was way too busy, especially at rush hour, for a deaf dog.
She broke into a run, not easy to do in her low heels and dress slacks, but she finally passed him and cut to her right to get in front of him.
He was clearly confused and scared, his brown eyes wide enough for her to see the whites. He met her gaze and recognized her immediately, and the relief in those eyes was shockingly clear.
“Buddy, what are you doing way over here?” She squatted down and he put his front paws right up on her knee so he had access to her face.
His entire body vibrated as he shook, and she realized he was terrified.
With him in her arms, she walked back to her car, got in, and sat with him until he calmed down.
What the hell had happened? Why in the world was he hurrying down a street alone a good half a mile or more from his home?
Suddenly, a sickening dread for Jenna blossomed in the pit of her stomach. Seat belt clipped, she put the car in gear and headed home.
Jenna’s car was in the driveway. Sawyer got out of her own with Arnold still in her arms and headed up the front steps, where she knocked on Jenna’s door.
It was pulled open in a matter of seconds, and Jenna stood there. Frazzled and completely panicked was the most accurate way to describe her. Eyes wide and fearful, hair disheveled, hands shaking. The second she saw Arnold, she gasped loudly and snagged him out of Sawyer’s arms.
“Oh, God, there you are! Where have you been? Where? You had me so worried!” She kissed all over his face, hugging him tightly to her body.
Sawyer followed her inside and shut the door behind her, then simply stood and watched as the wave of relief washed over Jenna. She turned to Sawyer, her eyes filled with tears. She set Arnold on the couch, turned to her, and wrapped her arms around Sawyer’s neck in a firm, grateful hug.
It stunned Sawyer at first, took her by surprise.
But then she closed her arms around Jenna’s body and held her tightly, feeling her warmth and the slight tremble that ran through her.
Inhaling deeply, she took in the scent of night jasmine and invitation.
She held tight, wanting nothing more than to keep Jenna safe.
“Thank you,” Jenna whispered near her ear.
She cried quietly for a moment while Sawyer continued to hold her.
When they finally relaxed their grip on one another, they still stayed close.
Jenna’s hands slid down from Sawyer’s shoulders but stayed on her body for a moment, near her collarbones, and Jenna seemed to study the neckline of her button-down top.
Sawyer cleared her throat as she became aware of the goose bumps that broke out along her arms. “What happened?” She asked it softly, not wanting to break whatever spell had them continuing to stand so close together, touching.