Chapter 9
Nine
I scurried down the hall toward the room from which I could hear voices, both male and female. When I entered, all eyes turned to me. Lord Brookhaven stood at the fireplace with two young gentlemen.
“There you are,” Lady Derringer said, motioning me toward her.
“Miss Robbins, you have not met Lord and Lady Rutledge, Miss Rose Rutledge, Mr. Thomas Merritt, Mr. and Mrs. Charles Allen, Mr. Percy Allen, Miss Priscilla Allen, and the Viscount Markeley. But you do know Mr. Skidmore and Miss Millicent Skidmore.” Then she glanced around and said, “This is Miss Charlotte Robbins.”
“How do you do?” My voice shook a little.
Most of the room just stared at me, but the one she called Mr. Thomas Merritt took a step forward, gave a slight bow, and smiled. “Very pleased to make your acquaintance, Miss Robbins.”
I smiled back at him. He was reasonably handsome, but with light, sandy-colored hair and the same sandy side whiskers, eyebrows, and eyelashes. He was the opposite of Lord Brookhaven.
No one else said anything.
Millicent’s gaze was more friendly than the other guests, so I sat near her and her father and observed the room while everyone went back to talking amongst themselves.
Lady Derringer conversed with Mr. and Mrs. Allen, and Miss Rose Rutledge was talking with Lord Brookhaven.
No one spoke to Millicent or her father.
There were seven ladies and seven gentlemen, making up seven pairs, which of course would thrill Mr. Mims the butler and Mrs. Merryweather, as there must be an equal number of male and female dinner guests for seating purposes.
“Are you enjoying your stay at Lowndesbury House?” I asked Millicent and Mr. Skidmore.
Millicent seemed to let out a breath she’d been holding, and she gave me a trembly smile.
“It’s a lovely house, and I have a view of the garden from my room.
Very lovely.” Millicent’s eyes were wide.
Poor thing. She was so intimidated by these people.
They were her people, not mine, as she was a gentleman’s daughter, but her very fear of them was probably making them despise her.
If she were to pretend confidence and bravado, they’d accept her.
It was human nature. I’d seen it even in the hierarchy of the country society around Milford.
Why didn’t I feel frightened by these people?
I was a lowly governess, after all. Perhaps it was because I knew these lords and ladies and gentlemen would never see me as an equal, so it hardly mattered what I did or didn’t do.
Also, I knew myself. I was a young woman of some talents and accomplishments and intelligence.
I was not exceptionally beautiful or brilliant, but I had enough confidence in myself to not feel inferior, and although I would be considered of inferior birth, that wasn’t something I could control, and therefore I couldn’t feel bad about it.
And perhaps most important of all, Scripture said, “God is no respecter of persons,” so why should I or anyone else be? Clearly, from Scripture, it was wrong to treat people differently based on how much money or power or rank they possessed.
Millicent and I talked of the things I’d always imagined ladies talked of—our new frocks, the hope that we would be asked to dance when there would be dancing, and then I asked her if she’d like to take a walk with me in the morning.
“It will be early,” I told her, “for I must at least try to teach my pupils, even though they are excited about all the company and the extra activity and their new puppies. They have not paid enough attention to their studies to learn anything the past two days.”
“Oh, I love an early walk.” Millicent’s face brightened. “I’ve never been one to sleep overmuch. Shall I meet you outside in the garden?”
“Yes.”
I enjoyed my solitary walks, but it would be good to walk with someone else for a change. I didn’t suppose Lord Brookhaven would be wandering through the garden while he had so many guests to entertain, and I was always in need of conversation.
Soon dinner was announced. The gentlemen would escort the lady nearest their station. I couldn’t help wondering which gentleman I would be paired with, since there was no one so lowly as me. There were three gentleman without a title, so it must be one of them.
I sat and waited, wishing my heart wasn’t beating so hard. Lord Markeley escorted the hostess, Lady Derringer. Lord Brookhaven escorted Lady Rutledge, while Lord Rutledge escorted his daughter, Rose Rutledge. Thomas Merritt escorted Priscilla Allen, and I saw the young Percy Allen approach me.
“May I escort you to dinner, Miss Robbins?” His expression was very sober and grave.
I gave a small smile and a nod, then took his arm.
Lord Brookhaven sat at the head of the table, with Lady Rutledge seated to his right and Miss Rose Rutledge to his left. Lady Derringer sat at the opposite end, as the hostess, with Lord Markeley seated to her right and Lord Rutledge to her left.
I ended up seated at the middle of the table, in the least important place, between Mr. Percy Allen and Mr. Skidmore, who’d escorted his daughter, who sat across the table from me.
Truly, I’d expected no less than to be seated in the middle, and I was too delighted to be there, and also with the deliciousness and variety of food, to think of where I was seated.
I made an effort to talk with Mr. Percy Allen, but he was not much of a conversationalist. He was probably a bit older than I was, but he seemed younger, with very little to say.
I did my best to draw him out, asking what he enjoyed.
Did he like to shoot pheasants? He did. Did he enjoy reading?
He did not. Did he know any languages? Only English, as he had no great interest in foreign travel.
I eventually gave up and just enjoyed the rest of the meal.
I had to resort to only tasting the food, as there were so many courses and dishes, and I felt like a stuffed bird above Lord Brookhaven’s mantel well before the last course.
I couldn’t help overhearing bits of other conversations.
Nor could I ignore Miss Rose Rutledge’s frequent laughter as she talked with Lord Brookhaven.
He, on the other hand, sometimes looked a bit out of sorts, and more than once I caught him looking at me when I glanced his way.
Another time I noticed Miss Rutledge staring at me with an unfriendly expression.
No doubt they were all wondering why the Earl of Brookhaven would invite his governess to sit at dinner with his guests.
After the final course had been served, the ladies retired to the drawing room and the men to Lord Brookhaven’s study, where they would smoke and drink port.
But it was past my usual bedtime, and I could scarcely keep my eyes open.
I turned to Millicent and said, “Forgive me, but I must retire to bed. No one wants to see me yawning.”
Millicent’s eyes went wide. “I wish you wouldn’t leave me.”
“You’ll be all right,” I whispered. “Don’t allow them to make you feel inferior. You have every right to be here. You were invited by the Earl of Brookhaven, after all.”
“Yes.” She nodded, pursing her lips. “Thank you, Miss Robbins.”
“Call me Charlotte.”
We parted and promised to see each other for our walk in the morning.
My morning was rather enjoyable, as Millicent and I talked of all the guests, the things we’d heard them say the evening before, and our admiration for the lovely dresses.
Millicent had even been brave enough to talk with Thomas Merritt and the Viscount Markeley, who she said had been schoolfellows of Lord Brookhaven’s.
“And Lord Brookhaven talked very little to Rose Rutledge. He even deigned to speak to me, as he asked me where you had gone to, and I had to tell him you went to bed. He looked none too happy, but I suppose that’s how he always looks—grim and slightly angry.”
I almost said that he rarely looked that way, but I didn’t want her to think I was boasting about my relationship with Lord Brookhaven.
After a half hour of walking and talking, Millicent gave a small grimace and said haltingly, “Forgive me for what I’m about to say—and don’t mistake me, I am very glad Lord Brookhaven included you in our party—but . . .”
“You may say it. I’ll not be offended.”
“Some of the ladies—Miss Rutledge in particular—were talking when Lord Brookhaven excused himself briefly of why he would invite his governess to the party. The men, particularly Mr. Thomas Merritt, defended you and said you were very pretty and very genteel, and he even suggested that Miss Rutledge was jealous. Her face turned positively red, and she said she could never be jealous of anyone who was so beneath her. But just then Lord Brookhaven entered the room, and they stopped talking. It was quite amusing how quickly they ended that conversation. The most amusing thing is that it does seem as if Miss Rutledge is jealous of you. Can you imagine? Is that not the most amusing thing?”
“Oh yes, quite diverting.” I did my best to laugh along with her, and I forced myself not to consider why I felt a pain in my chest and a sinking in my stomach. I’d ruminate about that later, when I was alone.
“But why do you think Lord Brookhaven invited you? I am sorry, I don’t mean to give offense, but you must admit it’s very unusual for an earl to invite a governess.”
“I am very aware of how it must seem. And I am at a loss, as much as anyone, as to how to explain it.”
I wanted to say that Lord Brookhaven enjoyed my company, that he wanted me there so he could engage in intelligent conversation with me, but that did not seem to be the case last evening, when he barely spoke to me at all.
With a perplexed expression, Millicent said, “Perhaps they needed another lady to make up for a gentleman they hadn’t expected.”
“Yes, perhaps. And perhaps I will beg off tonight,” I murmured.
“Oh, I wish you would not.” Millicent grabbed my arm. “You saw how I have not a single friend in the party. Besides you,” she added.
I didn’t want Millicent to be unhappy and alone, with no one to talk to, but I didn’t enjoy being exposed to the unkind remarks of his high-ranking guests.
“Lord Rutledge is a baron. Did you know?”
I shook my head.
“But you’d think he was a duke the way Lady Rutledge and Miss Rose Rutledge parade around with their haughty looks.
” She sighed again. “I think Lord Brookhaven is thinking of marrying her. That must surely be why he invited us all to his house, to have the chance to court her in a respectable way and ask for her hand.”
I felt sick. Perhaps I was getting a cold or some kind of fever. At least that would be a good excuse to not return to the drawing room tonight.
Millicent stared down at her dress. “I’m glad it’s not muddy. My hems are surviving our walk quite well, thankfully. I do hate cleaning my own hems, but I didn’t bring a lady’s maid, and I don’t wish to ask . . .”
I really wasn’t listening to Millicent. Instead, I was thinking that I wasn’t sure I could bear to watch Lord Brookhaven courting a vain, haughty girl like Miss Rose Rutledge.
He had seated Miss Rutledge next to himself at dinner.
And he had talked mostly to her when we were waiting for dinner to be announced.
But surely Millicent was wrong. Why would he invite so many people if there was only one lady he was interested in? And why invite me, for goodness’ sake?
I felt quite heavy as we made our way back to the house. The sun was shining, but it was as if clouds had darkened the sky and rain was threatening to fall.
Millicent went upstairs to go back to bed. “I might as well sleep while the rest of the ladies are sleeping,” she said.
I went to the schoolroom to see if the children were ready for their lessons. As I walked in, the children and Hannah were just entering from the children’s bedroom, and Lord Brookhaven was standing there, leaning against a bookcase.
“There you all are,” he said, pushing himself to his full height. “I have some news.” He looked from me to the children. “You are to have a holiday from lessons while my guests are here. No more books. You may do as you please for two weeks.”
Samuel whooped, throwing his hands in the air. “I shall ride horses and play with Ernest and get dirty and muddy!”
Hannah began to scold him, but Lord Brookhaven cut her off. “And Annabelle? What shall you do?”
“Play with Maizie and my dolls.” She smiled.
“All right, then, go play. I expect to hear a report on Friday about how much you’ve enjoyed yourselves.”
Samuel whooped again as Hannah ushered him back into their room to change into some play clothes “so that you don’t spoil your good clothes and give Bessie and me a headache of work, cleaning the mud stains out of your best things.”
When they were gone, Lord Brookhaven turned to me. “And what shall you do with your holiday?”
“There are many books I’ve found that I want to read, including the copies of Sense and Sensibility and Pride and Prejudice that you gave me, and I can catch up on my letter writing.”
“And you will have no excuse to leave the party early tonight.” He was staring at me with an intense look in his eyes. “It is my wish that you stay and enjoy yourself. You are enjoying yourself, are you not?”
I cast about in my mind and finally said, “I enjoyed talking with Millicent Skidmore. And I enjoyed dinner. Thank you, sir, for inviting me.”
“This evening after dinner we shall have music. Or would you rather play at cards?”
“I’m not much of a card player.” Then I quickly added, “But just as you please, my lord. It is your house party.”
“Do you play the pianoforte? And sing?”
“I only play a little, and I don’t sing. But I do enjoy hearing others play and sing.”
“And you can dance.”
“Yes.”
“Good. Well, then, I shall expect you in the drawing this evening.”
Saying thank you didn’t seem the right thing. I might say what I was thinking, which was that his guests didn’t want me there, and even I wondered why he was subjecting me to their contempt and ill grace, but before I could decide what to say, he was gone.