Chapter 10
Ten
The day seemed to go by slowly, with me wondering what would happen tonight. Would Lord Brookhaven’s guests be even more open with their disdain and dislike of me? Or would they gradually warm to me? One thing was certain: Lord Brookhaven was determined to have me there.
Since I had the whole day to myself, I did my own hair, which took a lot more time than I thought it would. I was not as expert at it as Daisy was, but I did well enough. I also dressed myself in the second of the new gowns and wore Lady Derringer’s amber cross.
Would I feel awkward around Mr. Thomas Merritt, knowing that he had said I was pretty and genteel? Hopefully not, since he wouldn’t know that Millicent had told me.
I also caught up on my letter writing, a long letter to Hattie and shorter letters to my other correspondents.
As I wrote, I told Hattie as many interesting details as possible about the dinner and Lord Brookhaven’s guests.
I remembered how, when I was younger, I used to imagine that what Mrs. Southey had told me about my parents was not true, but that I was actually the secret daughter of a duke, and that one day, when he was released from prison—or sometimes it was when he escaped from the dungeon of his enemy, or when he’d returned from being a pirate ship captain—he would come and take me away from Mrs. Southey’s school and bring me to London with him, where I would be the most sought-after girl of the ton.
London had always seemed like the most exciting, interesting place. I’d always longed to go there and be fashionable and go to balls and parties and concerts, even theatricals. Or to be able to attend parties, wear fashionable clothing, and dance with eligible men.
Sometimes it wasn’t my father who was the rescuer in my stories.
Sometimes it was a rich uncle who had thought me dead.
When he discovered I was alive, he would come and take me back to France or Ireland or some other faraway place, where I would, again, be fashionable and the most sought-after dance partner at every party.
It was a fantasy that helped me through periods of loneliness. I’d never told anyone about these fantasies except Hattie, who thankfully never judged me.
Dear Hattie. So trusting and sweet. She was almost too good for this world.
Finally, it was time to venture downstairs. I found Millicent on the landing, lurking in the shadows.
“Charlotte!” she exclaimed, hurrying forward and taking my arm.
“I didn’t want to go down without you. Father went down an hour ago to smoke his pipe with Lord Brookhaven.
Such a dirty habit, don’t you think? Oh, and the rumor is that there will be dancing tonight.
” She whispered close to my ear, “I will be so mortified if no one asks me to dance.”
“I’m sure someone will ask you.” It was I who was in danger of being ignored all night.
But I told myself I would refuse to care.
I’d just feel thankful to be there at all, to be able to hear the music and watch the others dance.
At least that was my intention. But I knew myself well enough to know that I’d be disappointed if no one asked me to dance.
I might even struggle to hold back tears.
Lord God, please don’t let me cry in front of these people.
I heard voices and laughter before we reached the drawing room.
When Millicent and I entered, no one even noticed, and we each took a glass of lemonade from the sideboard and sat down on the sofa nearest the door.
But a few minutes later, Lady Derringer broke away from Lady Rutledge and came over to say, “You both look very pretty this evening. Did you occupy yourselves pleasantly today?”
“We did,” Millicent answered. “We went for a morning walk—the grounds at Lowndesbury House are beautiful—and then I confess I went back to bed.”
“Sounds very pleasant. And you, Miss Robbins?”
“After our walk I caught up on some letter writing and read a book.”
“Also very pleasant.”
Lord Brookhaven was suddenly by Lady Derringer’s side.
“These two ladies spent their time very pleasantly this morning,” she told him.
“Very good.” He looked at me. “Did you read any good books, Miss Robbins?”
“I read one of the books you loaned me, Pride and Prejudice. It was so good I couldn’t stop until I finished it. I read it so quickly that I think I will have to read it again to see what I missed.”
He actually smiled at this. “I thought you would enjoy it. The author—authoress, I believe—has a certain wit and liveliness one doesn’t often find.”
“Oh yes, I agree. And the characters were so real, it was as if I could see and hear them, as if I knew them.”
His eyes danced.
“I wish I was more of a reader,” Millicent said.
“I also do not read as much as I should,” Lady Derringer said. “I can see you both enjoyed that novel.”
“Lord Brookhaven!” Miss Rose Rutledge called from the other side of the room. “Come and settle an argument I’m having with Lord Markeley.”
Lord Brookhaven’s expression instantly changed, like a thundercloud descending. “Pray excuse me,” he told Miss Rutledge. “Ask Mr. Merritt to settle your argument.” He turned back to me. “What did you think of Lady Catherine and Mr. Collins?”
“They were both so shocking. I laughed out loud several times.”
He opened his mouth to say something just as dinner was announced.
He bowed to me with a smile and went to find his dinner partner.
Again, we made our way into the dining room, but this time no one seemed to care about the rules of class and rank, as I was escorted by Thomas Merritt and Millicent was escorted by the Viscount Markeley.
I could tell by her expression that she was nervous but gratified, as he was attentive, smiling and talking to her.
Mr. Thomas Merritt turned out to be a much better conversationalist than Mr. Percy Allen had been the night before.
I found myself once again seated in the middle of the table, but I was opposite Mr. Merritt and beside Lord Markeley.
The conversation became quite lively at one point, with Mr. Merritt and the viscount debating which was less important to a gentleman’s education: studying literature or learning Greek and Latin, languages that they would never use in their lives.
“And how much of any of these subjects did you master?” I couldn’t help asking, smiling to let them know I was more amused than disapproving.
“Well, now, that’s a good point,” Mr. Merritt said, also smiling. “I was forced to memorize several poems and even some prose, and I conjugated my share of Greek verbs, but I daresay I remember none of it now.”
“You did better than me, Merritt,” Lord Markeley said. “What do you think of the importance of such subjects of study, Miss Robbins?” Lord Markeley’s gaze held a glint of mischief.
“Yes.” Mr. Merritt focused his striking blue eyes on me. “As an educator, you must have an opinion.”
“I’d venture to guess she thinks we should have been better students,” Lord Markeley said. The viscount was almost as handsome as Mr. Merritt, but taller and thinner, with coarse brown hair and brown eyes.
“Truthfully, having grown up in a school for ladies, I have little experience with the education of gentlemen, but I should think their education would be better applied to the tasks they would naturally be expected to know and perform in their future adult lives, whatever that might be, and only apply themselves to literature and languages if they feel so inclined—beyond a rudimentary knowledge of each, so that they don’t embarrass themselves in company. ”
“Ah, thank you for that, Miss Robbins,” Mr. Merritt said, attempting to bow to me, even though the table was between us.
“Yes, thank you, Miss Robbins,” Lord Markeley said. “The next time my mother scolds me for spending more time running away from my tutor than studying, I shall repeat your words as a great educator and authority.”
“I beg you would not characterize me so.” I chuckled, realizing he was mostly in jest. “I am neither a great educator nor an authority.”
I glanced at the head of the table, where Lord Brookhaven was glowering down at us. Did he disapprove of how loud we were being?
Lady Rutledge and Miss Rose Rutledge both looked quite unamused. I wasn’t sure I’d ever seen anyone look so dour.
But then one corner of Lord Brookhaven’s mouth turned up slightly. Could this change in demeanor be due to his amusement at the Rutledges’ disapproval? I was delighted to think so.
The dinner was delicious, I was sure, but I hardly noticed.
I was not so stuffed as I’d been the evening before either, as I was too busy talking with Mr. Merritt and Lord Markeley to eat overmuch.
I even talked past the viscount to include Millicent in the conversation, which the viscount didn’t seem to mind at all.
In fact, he seemed rather amused and surprised by me.
My mood was quite elevated by the gentlemen’s attentions. It was almost as if I was someone else. I was lively and vivacious, speaking my mind while keeping my conversation proper. I never felt . . . prettier.
I only wished it was Lord Brookhaven who was seated next to me instead of Lord Markeley, sharing my lively, pleasant mood and sometimes-clever words.
As it was, I hoped he didn’t think I was shamelessly flirting with the gentlemen. The thought made my stomach sink, but I was enjoying myself so much, I decided I didn’t care. Not very much, anyway.
Why did Lord Brookhaven have to escort Rose Rutledge to dinner, which meant she was sitting beside him again?
Lord Brookhaven spent much of his time staring morosely down at his plate, since those on his other side, Mr. Skidmore and Mrs. Allen, seemed quite engrossed in their own conversation.
Rose, having her father on the other side of her, seemed less in the mood for talking than usual.