Chapter 13 #3
I rested my forehead against his. “You feel so damn good.” Then pressed more kisses to anywhere I could reach, feeling his eyes hot on my face. “So tight. I feel like I’m gonna explode.”
“Look at me, Ryder.”
I met his gaze, his pupils fully blown, black with the narrowest edge of gold blurred by the tears.
Tears.
“Fuck me, Ryder.” He reached up to kiss me. “Fuck me, hard.”
I told myself his emotion had nothing to do with me.
It was everything he’d been through. It was the reality of having to move on.
A reality that being with me was simply highlighting, that was all.
Thaddeus needed this. He wanted it. He wanted a full stop on his old life and his old relationship.
And against my better judgement, I was going to give him that.
And when we were done, I was going to let him walk away, happy just to have had this moment with him.
It would be enough. It would have to be. And if I told myself that often enough, I might even believe it.
“I can do that,” I whispered against his lips, and felt his smile in return.
I drew slowly out and then sank back in, relishing the loud groan of pleasure that fell from his lips.
His head fell back into the pillow, and his muscles relaxed as he took me deeper, sucking my full length into his body.
Stroke after stroke. Harder and harder as he began to press back, meeting my thrusts, his body jolting at the punch of each one. I want it to hurt just a little.
He was hot and wet and tight and every fucking thing I’d ever dreamed of from the second I’d laid eyes on him in my shed. Sweet and smart and hurting . . . and a bit lost. Fucking kryptonite to my lonely heart.
I blinked with the sudden awareness of Thaddeus’s hand cupping my face. “There you are.” He smiled as his body lurched from another thrust. “Stay with me, Ryder. Stay with me.”
I pushed up on my hands, and Thaddeus pulled his legs higher, opening himself further, inviting me deeper, his eyes fluttering closed. I picked up the pace, plunging in and out of his body, the pleasure growing, burning, rushing for the edge.
Beads of perspiration dripped from my forehead onto his.
Thaddeus opened his eyes and wrapped his hands around my face, his gaze boring into mine as we rocked together, grunting and gasping, sweat soaking our bodies, back and forth and back and forth, until Thaddeus cursed and slid his hand between our slick bellies to finish himself off.
He pumped wildly, groaning and cursing, every muscle in his body rigid with desperation.
And just as I thought I might beat him to it, Thaddeus gasped twice and bellowed like a fucking bull, hot come splashing between us, his body shuddering with the rush of orgasm crashing through his system, roaring to a peak before sinking slowly, slowly back to earth.
I stroked him through until he pushed my hand away, memorising every nuanced expression, every twitch of that beautiful face, until he was done.
And when he was, Thaddeus opened his eyes and looked up at me with the biggest sunshiny smile I’d ever seen. “Damn, Ryder. Fucking A.” He slapped me on the hip. “Come on. Your turn. Take what you need.”
I snorted and kissed him hard, knowing I wouldn’t need much.
My lips pressed to his, open mouth to open mouth as I slammed back into him, gasping and grunting with every stroke, my orgasm right there, hovering on the brink.
Electricity crackled up my spine, the pleasure beginning to crest through my body.
Thaddeus grabbed my face. “Eyes on me, baby.”
So, that’s what I did, pleasure rushing every cell in my body as I stared into Thaddeus’s eyes and fucking roared like a crazy man, the sound washing me clean, draining every fucking arsehole thing I’d been through over the last eight years.
Thaddeus crushed me to his chest, holding me through every shuddering wave until my muscles relaxed and I slipped from inside him.
I disposed of the condom in the bin beside the bed and dug a packet of wet wipes from the drawer in my bedside table.
After cleaning us up, I lay on my back and nestled Thaddeus against me, his leg hooked over top of mine, his head resting on my chest, his body a furnace against my skin.
Spent and boneless, we lay together in silence, my fingers tracing small circles on his back, his doing the same on my shoulder.
The quiet of the room hung like a soft curtain over our hot bodies, a balm to my tangled emotions.
I was in big trouble with this man, and I knew it.
I slid my fingers under his chin and tipped his head back to kiss him.
Salt pricked on my tongue, and Thaddeus shivered.
“Hey.” I angled my head to see his face better, but he turned away, so I lifted up on one elbow and found his eyes closed tight, his cheeks wet with tears.
“Oh, baby.” I gathered him in my arms and pressed kisses into his hair.
He burrowed his face into the side of my neck, and I whispered in his ear that he was safe.
That he was strong. And that he’d get through this.
That he was going to be okay.
Even if I wouldn’t.