Chapter 21 #2
“What’s wrong with Brent?” I demanded.
“All afternoon he’s been groaning like he’s in pain.
He was calling for you, but then we reminded him you were visiting your brother, and he said ‘oh, yeah. I forgot.” It was quiet for about another twenty minutes, then it would start over.
We’re worried about him. He’s listless, unfocused. Even the boys are concerned.”
But he was fine when I left and—no. Chaim’s words came back to me. Being away from the mate was physically painful. Brent was hurting because I’d left.
“Give him your phone,” I told Amelia. “Hurry.”
I could hear her footsteps racing through the mansion. “Mr. Lockhart? Uly’s on the phone.”
“Uly.” That one word sounded like a plea. Then his voice got stronger. “Uly? Baby?”
“Hey, lover boy. I hear you miss me.”
“It hurts,” he whispered, his voice fractured. “I feel like there’s a hole in my chest. I can’t find you anywhere.”
And that told me why the boys were so scared about me leaving. They probably hurt too.
“Let me come home,” I said. “I’ll be there as soon as possible.”
“No, you need to see Jamie and Deb. Find out about Wyatt, and….” He gasped. “Uly? It hurts so much and I can’t breathe. How could anyone stand this?”
Amelia came back on the line and I could hear Brent sobbing in the background. “I’m sorry to ask this, but please, come back,” she pleaded, then disconnected.
I turned to find Deb staring at me, her concern obvious. I went to her and put a hand on her arm. “Tell Jamie I’m sorry, but I have to get home.”
“What? But you just got here,” she protested.
“I know, but Brent and the kids need me, and it’s not something I can walk away from. I’m sorry.” I kissed her cheek. “Give another one of those to Jamie. In fact, give him a blow job or something and tell him how sorry I was. Oh, shit. Please tell me you have skills sucking dick.”
She scowled at me. “Not that it’s any of your business, but yes, I do.” She leaned in close. “I know just what Jamie likes.”
“Then use every skill in your arsenal. Don’t let him be angry with me, but I have to go. I’m sorry.”
Then I turned, grabbed my bag, and raced for the door while I called Cullin’s number. He answered on the first ring.
“Is something wrong, Uly?”
“I need to get back home right away. Something is wrong with Brent.”
“Understood. I’ll pick you up in five minutes and take you to the plane.”
“Thank you.”
I’ll be honest. I don’t remember getting on the plane or being in the air at all.
I vaguely recall the flight attendant offering me a beverage, but I’m pretty sure I didn’t take one.
My mind was focused on Brent, on the pain he seemed to be in, and on my boys.
I was angry with myself for not realizing this would happen.
That I would cause my family problems simply by leaving.
“Uly, we’ll be landing in a few minutes,” Cullin said over the PA system. “I’ve already got them bringing the car to the airstrip so we can get moving right away.”
I called Amelia to let her know we’d landed and were on our way back. She breathed a sigh of relief.
“I’m very sorry for calling you. He shut himself away in the bedroom, and we can hear him sobbing. It’s breaking my heart, Uly. I’ve never seen him like this, not even after Jenna died. Then he was all stoic, trying to put on a brave face for everyone. Now? He’s breaking down and we all know it.”
“I’ll be back in fifteen minutes. I swear, I’ll make it right.”
I disconnected, then stared out the window.
“Is he okay?” Cullin asked.
“He will be,” I promised.
I went into the contacts on my phone and dialed Chaim.
“Uly? Something wrong?”
I explained to him that I had gone to see Jamie and what happened afterward. I apologized for not listening to him.
“This isn’t on you,” he promised. “As the leader, Brent has a lot of responsibility. You being there makes it easier for him to focus. You aren’t going to be there all the time, and he has to work on getting through the periods when you’re not around.”
“Then I’ll just stay,” I said resolutely.
“That’s beyond ridiculous. You have a family too, and they need to see you. Brent will have to learn some coping techniques, but you’ll have to call him too. He will need to hear your voice to ensure you’re safe and well.”
“This is about Jenna, isn’t it?”
He sighed. “Partially. When she died, he wasn’t there.
In his head, he failed her and the boys by not being available to help them.
I know a doctor who has prescribed some meds for me to take when Benjy has to go out of town.
They don’t quiet the anxiety completely, but I don’t have that breakdown anymore.
I’ll talk with him about getting some for Brent. ”
“I don’t mind—”
“And if you stay, you’ll eventually end up resenting him. It’s inevitable. Take the help when it’s offered. Trust me, it’ll be better for all of you in the long run.”
I wasn’t a bear. I didn’t understand the depths of feeling, especially when it came to a mate. Chaim knew and understood.
“Thank you.” We pulled up in front of the house. “And we’re home. I’m going in to see him.”
“Be prepared. There’ll be lots of sniffing, hugging, kissing.”
“Oh, no. How awful. I’ll let you know how it goes.”
He disconnected and I put the phone back in my pocket, then jumped out of the car and rushed for the house. Amelia met me at the door, wringing her hands.
“It’ll be okay,” I promised her.in
“He went into your bedroom,” she told me.
I breezed by her, dropped my phone on the table so we wouldn’t be disturbed, and went to our room. Fortunately, he hadn’t locked the door. I opened it and gasped. Brent was sitting on the bed, wrapped in blankets and holding my pillow to his nose.
“Uly,” he whispered, big, fat tears rolling down his cheeks.
“I’m here, baby,” I said, closing the door and moving for the bed. As soon as I was in reach, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me down beside him, burying his face in my neck and inhaling deeply.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t think Chaim was serious about how much it hurt.”
A shaft of light swept through the room as the door opened. Two shadows crossed the floor, their sniffles loud.
“Momma?” The voice was broken, raw. They’d been crying too. My heart was hurting hearing the pain.
“Hey, guys. C’mere,” I said, holding out my arms.
They were on the bed and curled around me instantly.
I had all three of my guys sniffing me, putting their hands on me, and touching me.
Brent kept apologizing for pulling me away from seeing Jamie, and the boys were sobbing.
I hated what I’d done to them, and vowed we’d figure something out for the future. Maybe Jamie and Deb could come here.
But I could never leave. Was Chaim right? Would I come to resent Brent and the boys?
I glanced down to find Eddie and Jack sleeping on my lap. Then Brent was asleep on my shoulder. I wrestled us all down onto the bed and lay there, keeping my family safe and secure in the knowledge that Momma was home.
And I wasn’t planning on leaving again.