28. Madison
MADISON
Idrove toward a group of media vans parked on the road at the edge of the Dunhope property, each one splashed with the logos of different tabloids and websites. Their antennae rose into the sky like jagged little mountain peaks.
Upon spotting me, a group of reporters perked up like tigers at the zoo when the handlers brought out the raw meat, their breath fogging in the early March air.
Casually dressed camera operators hoisted filming equipment onto their shoulders while those more formally dressed picked up their microphones, primed for an interview.
I drove past without even a glance of acknowledgment.
The first few times I’d made this trek, they’d attempted to jump out in front of me and knock on my windows.
I hadn’t given them what they’d wanted—a reaction—and eventually they’d stopped being so brazen.
But they still got their two minutes of footage every morning without fail, capturing me winding my way up the long drive to Dunhope.
I didn’t know what was so special about watching the nanny or the housekeeper come and go from the property, but they weren’t getting anything out of Alistair, so I supposed they had to make a fuss where they could.
Florence had taken to honking obnoxiously at them every time she pulled up, drowning out whatever the reporters were trying to say into their cameras.
It would be amusing if it weren’t so frustrating.
I pulled up alongside the house and hopped out of the van, resisting the urge to turn back and scowl at those beady black lenses.
I made my way inside, said hello to Florence in the kitchen, and found Kenna sprawled out on her stomach in the playroom, twenty minutes into a doggy makeover. Even though I’d moved out of the house, I didn’t have the heart to take Princess with me.
Kenna was struggling under the lockdown rules, and I didn’t want to contemplate what it would do to her emotionally if she couldn’t have Princess as her constant companion.
Thankfully, that was one thing Alistair and I agreed on.
He’d set up a doggy potty area in what constituted as the mudroom and had ordered all the doggy food and treats she could possibly eat and more.
It wasn’t unusual for me to arrive to find Kenna and Princess engrossed in an activity, but this one was sparklier than most. She’d set Princess on a pillow and was in the process of adorning her fur with hair jewels using the hair stamper she’d gotten for Christmas.
That…was not good. “Hey, Ken,” I said as I drew closer, trying to force a smile even as my teeth instinctively clenched.
This was going to be an absolute nightmare to get out later.
What if we had to shave Princess? Then she’d actually look like a rat.
“How about we take a break from bedazzling the dog and go down for breakfast?”
She rolled over, blinking up at me with a lazy smile. “I’m not hungry yet.”
“You’re not hungry?” I said. “Not even for some chocolate chip pancakes?” Her eyes lit up. “Pretty sure I saw Florence putting a big plate of them on the counter. Shall we go see?”
Kenna bounded to her feet, racing right by me. “I want chocolate chips!”
“Of course you do.”
Princess went scurrying after her down the hall, reflecting the light like a disco ball. I heard a soft chuckle from behind me and turned to find Alistair standing there, grinning at the sight of the two of them.
“Should I even ask?” he said.
“Probably best you don’t unless you want to be the one removing all those jewels from Princess to keep from having to shave her,” I quipped, starting to smile at him before catching myself.
Shit. I knew better, but my heart and my head were often at odds these days.
Collecting myself, I gave him a polite nod, as I would any employer, and set off in the direction of Kenna’s giggles.
“Madison?” Alistair called. “Hang on a second.”
I paused, swallowing the lump in my throat before turning around. “Yes?”
He closed the distance, and I tried not to let my eyes roam.
Because past that devastatingly handsome face, I could see the toll the press frenzy was taking on him, and all I wanted to do was wrap my arms around his waist and smooth the dark circles from beneath his eyes. But that wasn’t my place anymore.
“Alfie sent me a link yesterday to a video of the media coverage in Braeburn.” He cleared his throat, curling his hands awkwardly at his sides when they used to reach for me so easily. “I just wanted to thank you for the things you said and…didn’t say.”
“Of course.” A line formed between my brows.
I didn’t need to be thanked for being a decent human being in this situation.
Sure, Alistair and I hadn’t worked out as a couple, but I still wanted the best for him and Kenna, and that was a life free of hounding and miserable lies being blasted through the tabloids.
“Though I haven’t been the only person speaking up for you. ”
“That’s true,” he agreed.
“Everyone in Braeburn has told the media where to stick it,” I continued. “Especially Jo. I don’t think they can even air some of the things she’s been saying.”
Alistair huffed a sound that was almost a laugh. “After all this time, I shouldn’t have been surprised by the town’s support, but I admit I was. And I’m grateful for it.”
“I’m glad you’re finally realizing you don’t have to do this alone.
And that you can trust the town.” I sucked in a sharp breath.
There had been something I’d been meaning to talk to him about, and now seemed as good a time as ever.
“On that note, I’ve been talking to Shannon O’Keefe.
I don’t know if you’re familiar with her, but she runs a small nursery program in town.
They rent the space on the other side of the bakery. ”
His expression shifted, his eyebrows knotting together. I plowed on.
“Anyway, she mentioned she’ll have room to accommodate Kenna after the Easter break in a few weeks. I think it would be good for Kenna to start there. She needs more socializing with children in town, especially since she’ll be old enough to start primary school in August.”
Alistair simply blinked in response.
“It would require some rearranging of your schedule, but it should be doable for you to get your usual day of work in while Kenna’s at the program.”
He gave his head a little shake. “And where will you be?”
That knot in my stomach tightened. “I think it’s time for me to move on,” I said. “There are other places I want to visit in Scotland—I told you that when I first got here. I just need to figure out what comes next. Where I belong.”
He licked his lips like he meant to say something, but no words came.
“If I don’t find it in Scotland,” I continued, “then I’ll probably head back to the States. It’s been months since I left, and I can’t…” The words burned in my throat. “I can’t put my real life on hold forever.”
Because none of this had been real, had it? I’d been playing around in a fairy tale. I should have known that the moment I broke into a castle.
“I thought you felt settled in Braeburn,” Alistair finally said, his words a little choked. “You seemed so at home here.”
I shook my head, cutting him off before either of us got mixed up. “I was never at home here. It was just a temporary pit stop.”
ALISTAIR
I didn’t quite know what to do with the idea of Madison leaving in a few weeks. The moment we’d ended things, I knew it was a possibility—perhaps even an inevitability—that we’d go our separate ways, but I never actually stopped to consider what it would feel like to have to say goodbye forever.
As she walked off, I stared after her, oddly stunned. Actually, I felt a little ill. It’s not like I assumed she’d never move on from being Kenna’s nanny; I just hadn’t expected for her to also be leaving Braeburn when she quit.
No, not just Braeburn. She was talking about leaving Scotland to go back to the US.
From what she’d said to me at other times, I’d have thought that was the last thing she wanted.
I frowned, replaying her words in my head.
Temporary pit stop. Was that really how she felt?
And why did that thought sting so badly?
Logically, I knew I was the one who’d pushed her away.
But when I imagined her walking out of mine and Kenna’s life next month, that hollow space behind my ribs started aching.
I turned around, knuckling my chest as I wandered back in the direction of my office.
I didn’t even make it to the end of the hall before Florence came flying around the corner, snorting like a raging bull. I came to a hard stop, staring down at her. For the first time in our acquaintance, the woman put her hands on her hips and glowered at me.
“Don’t be daft and tell me you’re letting that woman go just like that?” she demanded.
My jaw fell open. I was completely taken aback at her anger. “I—”
“You built an entire company from the ground up.” She gestured after Madison. “You can’t possibly be that big of a fool!”
“If she wants to go, I can’t exactly stop her,” I muttered, feeling like a schoolboy being told off by the principal.
“Like hell you can’t.” The wrinkles around Florence’s mouth tightened as she pursed her lips.
“People have been giving you grace and understanding because they know how badly you were treated by that awful woman who stole from you, but that doesn’t mean everyone will wait around forever for you to get your head out of your arse. ”
“She doesn’t want to be here with me.”
“Because you’ve done nothing to show her that this is where she belongs. What do you think the woman is, a bloody mind reader?” Florence shook her head, stropping off before I even had a chance to reply.
For the second time in the last fifteen minutes, I stared down the hall, completely stunned. When I finally made my way back to my office, I sank down in my chair, rattled and properly chastised.
Because she was right. Every single thing she’d said had been right, not just about Madison but about other people who’d also shown me way more grace than I’d deserved when I’d been busy acting like a horse’s arse.
I picked up my phone and called Weston. I wondered if he’d send me straight to voicemail after the way I’d treated him and Locke the other day, but he picked up right away.
“All right?” he asked me.
“I…I’ve been a complete idiot, haven’t I?”
“Too bloody right you have,” Weston said. “But lucky for you, the people who love you will forgive you.”
I snorted. I didn’t know if I deserved their forgiveness, but I needed my two best friends now more than ever. “Even Locke?” I asked.
“He might make you grovel a little,” Weston teased. “Get down on your knees and beg—that kind of thing.”
I pursed my lips, shaking my head. “I was a right arse,” I said. “Neither of you deserved that when all you were trying to do was help me. I really am sorry.”
“I know you are,” Weston said. “I knew it even before we walked out of your office. But I told Locke we had to give you time to figure it out for yourself. To come back to us when you were ready. And, just for the record, I forgive you.”
My mouth twitched, but I didn’t feel like smiling. I didn’t know what I’d done to deserve such loyal friends, but I was grateful for them, all the same.
“Now, the real question,” Weston said. “What are you going to do about Madison?”
I pressed my head against the back of my chair, releasing a heavy sigh. “Do you think I have any chance at fixing things?”
Weston clicked his tongue. “Asking that question is a good start,” he said. “But I think you’re going to have to do a lot better than an apology over the phone.”
I nodded to myself. He was right. Florence was right.
The time had come to step up and prove to Madison that I wasn’t going to let my past ruin my future any longer—that I loved her, that I could and would be better for her.
And most of all, that she belonged exactly where she was: here at Dunhope with me and Kenna.