29. Madison
MADISON
Ipulled back the drapes covering the window in my room at the Deerhound, staring down at the press gathered at the entrance of the inn. They hovered around the door like sticky little leeches preparing to latch onto the next person that walked through those doors.
“Are the paparazzi still out there?” Emily’s voice crackled through the speaker of my phone where I’d left it on my bed.
She’d been in contact almost daily since I’d dropped the breakup bombshell, and, like any good friend, had been pissed at Alistair on my behalf, had offered to come to Scotland to tell him off in person, and had consoled me while I blubbered about everything.
“Yes,” I grumbled, glaring down at the cameras. “Waiting to pounce on their next victim.”
“That’s so annoying. Don’t they get sick of waiting around?”
“Apparently not, and it’s been weeks.” I narrowed my eyes. “They feed off misfortune like a bunch of demons, growing stronger with each rumor they spread. Whatever, this isn’t going to be my problem anymore. Me and Princess are getting the hell out of here as soon as I figure out where to go next.”
“You’re taking the dog?” Emily asked, surprised. “With the way you had her staying at Dunhope after you moved out, I thought you’d decided she should remain with Kenna.”
Her question caught me off guard, and I let the drapes go, slumping back to the bed and throwing myself down with a sigh.
I was hoping to lift my spirits by planning my next adventure with my fuzzy sidekick, but now all I could think about was the look on Kenna’s face in a couple weeks when she realized she was losing both me and Princess.
“I hadn’t actually thought about it that much.
I just…we’ve been traveling together for so long now, I just assumed she’d be there when I left.
” I grabbed a pillow and clutched it to my chest, staring at the ceiling.
“But you’re right—I can’t separate her and Kenna.
Even if the van will be awfully quiet without her. ”
“It’ll be weird not to get your Princess travel pics,” Emily agreed.
A smile tugged at the corner of my mouth. “She was a good little travel buddy.”
“She was,” Emily said. “And a good companion when you needed one.”
“But she’s happy at Dunhope with Kenna,” I said, reminding myself of that fact. “She has a good life there.”
“Living in the lap of luxury.”
“Literally!” I huffed a laugh. “Did I tell you Alistair bought her a silver water dish engraved with her name? For a guy that claimed not to like her, he sure—”
The words died in the back of my throat. He sure loved her now.
“Oh, Mads,” came Emily’s voice, sad and thin.
“It’s fine.” I fought the pressure behind my eyes. I’d already spent too much time crying over Alistair and the way things had fallen apart between us. I couldn’t keep doing that to myself.
“You don’t have to pretend with me.”
“I’m not pretending. She belongs there,” I said, unprepared for how much those words hurt to say. “With Kenna.”
“I suppose when you eventually come home…” Emily began. “Well, we could always go to the shelter to find you a different four-legged companion.”
“Right,” I said, but it wouldn’t be Princess.
Tossing the pillow aside and rolling over to pick up my phone, I tried to sound positive.
“I’ve done right by her, finding her a kid that adores her.
” At least one of us got our happy ending.
I swiped at a tear that slipped from the corner of my eye.
“Okay,” I said, clearing my throat. “Back to business.”
“Yes,” Emily said, giving me a supportive cheer. “What are we working with?”
I opened the Voyages app. It had been a couple months since I’d been on it. “I’m thinking maybe I should make my way to Aberdeen like I originally planned. Start there.”
I could hear Emily typing. “Hmm…It’s apparently the gateway to Scotland’s castle country. I know you’ve just been living in a castle, but—”
“I’ve read that too,” I said, cutting her off. “Apparently, Dunnotrar Castle is close by, and the ruins are amazing.”
“Exactly,” Emily said. “You need more old ruins in your life and less fancy coffee machines. Cool, ancient things to ground you and make you think about the world. I think that was probably your birth mom’s vibe, don’t you?”
“Oh, absolutely. I…wait, what the heck?” I murmured, scrolling through the app.
“What is it?” Emily asked.
“I think…” I sat up on the bed, crossing my legs and hunching over my phone. I opened my account profile. “It looks like my account has been upgraded.”
“To what?”
Honestly, I wasn’t even sure. “I didn’t think the premium package even offered this many perks. Holy shit! I have behind-the-scenes offers and exclusive access passes to all major attractions across the country.” My jaw dropped. “It includes resort stays.”
“Ooh, cool! You think it’s some sort of weird glitch?”
“A friggin’ expensive glitch.” I flipped back to the home screen and tried to plug Aberdeen into the location destination section. The loading screen appeared, that compass spinning in front of me, but instead of mapping my route, it simply said error. “Weird. It won’t let me set a route.”
“Maybe the whole app is glitching,” Emily suggested.
“Can you try plugging in Braeburn to Aberdeen on your phone?”
“Yeah, one sec.” Emily went quiet for a beat. “Works for me. Says it’s less than two hours away from Braeburn.”
I grumbled. “Maybe I need to reboot my phone. It won’t let me enter any destination. It already has one pre-selected for me that says HOME.”
“What happens when you click on it?”
I did, letting the route default to taking me wherever HOME was. I followed the map, frowning. “It’s taking me back to Alistair’s address. I never set that as my home destination.” I tried to edit it, but the app wouldn’t let me do that, either.
“Try putting in a different starting point,” Emily said.
I did, switching it up. Edinburgh. Glasgow. Hell, I’d go back to London if it would let me. But no dice. Whatever starting point I chose, the destination always defaulted to Dunhope Castle.
“Ughhhh,” I grumbled. “This is so annoying.” I didn’t want to have to start over with some other travel app.
This one already had all my information, all my travel data, all my saved locations, and the places of interest I wanted to explore.
And, damn it all, I liked Voyages. I liked the way it worked, the way it approached the travel from Point A to Point B not as some chore to get through but as an adventure with endless charming surprises to discover along the way.
For all his faults, Alistair had designed a really excellent app.
“Hey, Mads,” Emily said tentatively, “what if this isn’t a glitch?”
“What do you mean?”
“What if there’s a reason the app wants you to go home to Dunhope?”
Her words short-circuited something in my brain. “Alistair did this,” I said, realizing at once that I was right. Of course he did.
“I mean, he still knows the tech guys at Voyages, right? I’m sure one of them would probably have been willing to do him a favor and make some tweaks to your account.”
I gaped at the screen, watching that compass spin and point me right back to HOME.
I bit the inside of my cheek. Of freaking course.
That’s how I suddenly had all this exclusive, behind-the-scenes access to all the coolest spots in Scotland without upgrading my account—not that I could actually use them when the app wouldn’t let me set those places as my destination.
“Well, what good is a damn upgrade if I can’t go anywhere? ”
There was a knock on my door, and I sidled over to open it to a smiling Isla. “Just me, checking in. Everything okay?”
I sighed, gesturing to my phone. “I was trying to plot out where to go next, and I realized Alistair’s been tampering with my app.”
“What do you mean tampering with it?”
I explained, and Isla tipped her head, laughing a bit. She waddled through the door. “Mind if I sit?”
I shifted so she could plop down on the edge of the bed next to me, cradling her pregnant belly.
She was only a couple days from her due date, and she looked more than ready to have this baby.
“You know, when Locke and I were trying to work things out after a rough patch of our own, he bought out the entire baby registry before my shower.”
Emily’s voice crackled. “Awwwww. That’s adorable.”
Isla hummed. “That’s not how I took it. I was actually quite annoyed with him because I felt like he wasn’t really understanding why I was so upset. He wasn’t showing up enough for me in the relationship, and just buying the baby things was completely missing the point.”
“Men,” Emily tutted. “Even when they’re doing something sweet, they’re still proving that they’re clueless.”
“What are you saying?” I asked Isla.
“From Locke’s perspective, he was trying to get my attention and show how invested he was in making things right with me.” She gave me a pointed look. “Right or wrong, I think maybe this is Alistair’s way of trying to make amends with you.”
I snorted.
“Maybe she’s right, Mads. I mean, he didn’t pick the best way to go about it,” Emily said. “But points for trying.”
“He wants you to see this place as your home,” Isla said, tapping my phone screen.
“But it’s not my home,” I argued. Admittedly, Dunhope had come closer than any other place ever had…but at the end of the day, Alistair had drawn the boundary line, and I’d been the one left on the outside.
“Why can’t it be home?” Isla replied. “Since you moved into the inn, I’ve loved having you around and hate the thought of you leaving town.
Plus, the whole community cares about you.
Didn’t you see the way both Cat and Lesley told those reporters to screw off and leave you alone in those videos?
And don’t get me started on what Jo said when the reporters tried to ask her about you.
You may not see it, but you mean a lot to everyone here. ”
I pursed my lips to keep my jaw from trembling.
“And maybe if you and Alistair can work things out, then—”
“There’s nothing to work out,” I said. “He doesn’t get to push me away one day and tell me to stay the next.
Not ask. Tell. That’s not how a relationship works.
” I was still unsure if he ever really liked me or simply the convenience of me.
And I was done putting my life on hold for a scrap of affection.
I deserved better than that. “I can’t just hang out in Braeburn forever.
Kenna starts nursery soon, so I’ll be out of a job.
And if I’m going to see the rest of Scotland, I need to do it before my savings run out. ”
“Doesn’t Alistair’s salary give you a cushion to float for a while?” Emily asked.
I scowled down at my phone. “You’re supposed to be on my side.”
“I am on your side. I’m not saying you need to stay for him.
I’m saying stay for yourself. Take a few weeks to actually figure out your travel plans before you rush off.
Don’t give up on finding that connection to your birth mother in Scotland.
And don’t you dare think about returning to that awful paralegal job you hated.
You were miserable there, Mads. I mean, I miss the hell out of you.
But do you really want to come back to that life? ”
I swallowed hard, thinking about my existence in Connecticut: that horrible job, my parents’ constant criticisms for daring to be myself, and their insistence that I get back together with Ryan because he was more like them than I could ever be.
None of it had anything to do with who I really was or what I wanted to do.
That was the thing about Emily. She was good at being my friend.
And part of that was asking the tough questions.
I glanced over at Isla.
“Braeburn’s a good place to find yourself,” she said.
“And the weather’s getting nicer now. There’s a really great trail I’d love to show you sometime.
It’s got this amazing waterfall, and…well, it was a place that was special to me and my mother.
” Isla gave me a soft smile. “She’s gone now, but it’s still a place where I do some of my best thinking.
I’d really love to share it with you if you feel up to staying for a while.
Maybe it’ll bring you a bit of clarity.”
She took my hand and squeezed. I squeezed back. Even if Alistair and I weren’t meant to be, I’d still formed real relationships here in Braeburn—granted, they were new, but that had to count for something.
I’d come to Scotland chasing connection.
I’d wanted to understand who my birth mother was and where I belonged. And as I looked at Isla, I knew I wasn’t finished yet with that journey. There was more to learn about myself, and maybe Braeburn wasn’t the place to learn it…but maybe it was.
Either way, I wasn’t about to let some paparazzi or my parents or my feelings for Alistair chase me off before I figured that out. It was time to take charge of my own future again and figure out where I was truly meant to be.
I just wasn't ready to admit that every time I tried to picture somewhere else, I couldn't.