Chapter 15
If I thought the weekend was hard, it’s nothing compared to being back at school today after hightailing it out of James’s house like my pants were on fire. Running on fumes after only a handful of hours of sleep, I barely have the energy to keep my head up high as I walk through the hallways crammed with kids who have nothing better to do than to call me a slut or a skank and giggle as I pass. I can’t wait until I graduate and never have to see any of these people again, Tyler included. It’s my own special level of hell that I have to not only share the hallways and cafeteria with him but two of my classes as well.
I’m fifteen minutes late per usual to my pre-cal class after my first pump break of the day, and everyone turns in their seats to gawk at me when I walk through the door. They all know exactly why I’m late after the teacher, Mrs. Kolten, forced me to read my excuse note out loud on the very first day of class instead of taking it and reading it silently when I handed it to her. She had been mortified when I read that note, but none of her apologies could make up for the way my classmates lost their minds when they found out I was getting special treatment so I could pump my breast milk for my daughter between classes.
Even though I’ve been doing this for months now, and you’d think they’d be over it and move on, a few of them still snicker every single time I show up to class. Tyler, too, which is the worst of all. It’s his daughter I’m pumping milk for, yet he seems to think it’s the cringiest, grossest thing in the world.
James doesn’t think it’s gross.
Ugh, I can’t stop thinking about him long enough to pay attention in class, and I feel like crap for the way I panicked and left this morning. James is such a good man with a big heart who cares so much about me and my daughter when not many other people outside of my family do. And how do I repay him for all his kindness? For all the little ways he shows us that he cares about us? By pulling him in, then freaking out and pushing him away all weekend long, leaving him hurt and confused.
What happened this morning plays on a loop in my mind, over and over and over…the way he moaned as he pushed his huge cock inside me, how it felt to have his sweaty body pinning me to the mattress, how I’m still worked up since we didn’t get to finish after being interrupted.
I shake myself out of the memory and blow out a frustrated breath as I leave pre-cal and find my locker. I groan and bang my forehead against my open locker door, but what I really want to do is cry. In all my hurry to leave James’s house this morning, then get in and out of my own in hopes of avoiding Mom and the questions she’s bound to have, I forgot to grab my history textbook from my nightstand.
Mr. Heart—ironic last name—has been the biggest jerk out of all my teachers about my special treatment, even though my pumping breaks have never interrupted my time in his class. I don’t know what his problem is, but ever since he ran into me in the teacher’s lounge when I was putting away some bags of pumped milk, he’s found ways to dock points and lower my grade. He’ll be all too happy to do so today when I show up to class without my textbook.
And I was right. Ten points off my next test, further sinking my grade, despite the fact that I ace nearly all of my tests and essays. I spend more time on my history homework and studying for his class just to stay ahead of his bullcrap, and it’s barely enough to keep me hovering around a C plus.
I’m half in tears by the end of school, and I drive home as slowly as I can, knowing I have to face Mom when I get there. I’m emotionally spent as it is, and I splash water on my face and practice smiling in the bathroom mirror, hoping she won’t prod me about why I’m so tired and upset.
I should have known better than to expect she would be satisfied with the, “It was fine,” answer I give her when she asks about my weekend with James. Try as I might to get out of here quickly with Lainey to get to James’s house—though I’m not exactly in a hurry to face him either—she stops me when I edge my way too close to the front door.
“Shayla, wait. I’m sure James can manage for a few more minutes without you.” She cups my elbow and drags me to sit on the couch next to her.
I let Lainey down on the yellow and green play mat with a board book in place of where we would put a coffee table if we had one. She entertains herself quietly while Mom lays my brother, Brady, on his tummy on the mat next to her.
I try not to fidget with my hands as Mom leans back against the arm of the couch and crosses her legs, arranging her long, flowy paisley skirt around her ankles. She pulls her braided light brown-turning-gray hair over her shoulder to twirl the end while she turns to me. Playing with her hair is a nervous habit, so I know I probably won’t be happy with what she has to say.
“You’ve been spending so much time over there lately, I hardly get to see you, and it seems like you’re always in a rush to leave right after you get home.” She fixes her gray eyes that are a shade darker than mine on me, her eyebrows dipped slightly.
I sigh and lean back against the opposite arm. “I know, I’m sorry.”
“So tell me how things have been. How was this weekend? I want real answers this time.”
“It was pretty awful, actually. His family isn’t very nice to him, especially his mom, who you would hate. And they didn’t seem to care a lick about Grayson either, which I just don’t understand.”
She nods along and huffs as I give her a rundown of what happened with his family and how his mom treated us, skipping right over the fact that James and I had not only shared a hotel room, but a bed as well the whole weekend. By the end of it, the tears I’ve held back all day slowly begin to fall, but for a whole different reason.
I scoot forward and take her hand from her hair, placing it between mine. “It made me realize just how lucky I am to have you and Dad, and I really appreciate how much you’ve helped support me with Lainey. I just wish James had the same kind of support system.”
“Oh, honey, you know how much we love you and Lainey. You’ll always have our support.” She pauses for a beat, then says, “I’m glad you brought that up.” She leans forward and plants both feet on the ground. “Your dad and I have been talking, and…”
“And?” I ask with some trepidation, noting how she’s switched our hands so that hers are closed around mine.
“We have some concerns.”
“Concerns about what?” I ask, sounding more defensive than I mean to.
Her back stiffens. “Concerns about how much time you and Lainey are spending with James. Now, I know he’s paying you to babysit Grayson, but I can’t imagine why he’d need you to babysit as late as you have been—ten, eleven, sometimes even twelve o’clock at night—and every weekend too.”
“Well, no, technically I don’t. He lets me stay late so I can get my homework done in peace. You know how Bailey and Autumn are. They’re always fighting about something, and it’s hard to get anything done with them around. And you also know it’s hard for Lainey to fall asleep and stay asleep when they’re awake.”
She sighs heavily, but I see my words haven’t affected her stance. “But still. From what you’ve told us before, it seems like you and James have grown quite close. Perhaps too close, which is concerning, to say the least. We understand why you went out of town to help him with Grayson at his dad’s funeral, but then you didn’t come home last night, and—”
I slide my hands out of Mom’s and shift a few inches away. “Mom, please hear me when I say there’s nothing to be concerned about. James is good. He’s safe. He cares about me and Lainey and—”
“Honey.” I bristle at the slightly condescending tone she’s now adopted as she cuts me off. “We don’t think you should be spending as much time with him as you have been. Your dad and I have agreed that we would like you to quit babysitting and find something else. Maybe try to find a job at another ice cream shop?”
“I’m not quitting.”
“Honey—”
“Don’t.” I stand, place my hands on my hips, and look her square in the face, hoping she’ll listen to me. “I’m not going to quit. Yes, I’ve grown close to James and Grayson. Of course, I have. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I care about them.”
Mom stands and slides her hands down my arms, pulling my hands away from my hips to hold them in hers again. “Shayla, we want you to think of your future, not get wrapped up with an almost thirty-year-old man and his nephew, not when you’re only eighteen years old and have Lainey to think about.”
I take a deep breath and blow it out so I can talk to her calmly. “I am thinking about my future. No one else is going to pay me what James does while also allowing me to bring Lainey to work with me. You know how hard it was for me to leave her before I started babysitting for him,” I tell her pointedly and raise my eyebrow as I pull away to pick Lainey up when she reaches for me. “Listen, I know you and Dad mean well and that what you’re saying is coming from a place of love. I’m grateful for that, truly. Even more so after meeting James’s family. But like you said—I’m eighteen, so I will be the one deciding who I spend my time with and what job I will have.” I catch the time on the clock hanging on the wall behind her. “And as of right now, I’m late for work, so we need to go.”
I have the front door half-open when she stops me with a hand on my forearm. “Ok, ok. Just wait.” She studies my face and nods once. “Here’s the deal. If you say that we have nothing to be worried about when it comes to James, then I trust you and trust that you know what is best for you and Lainey. But”—she draws the word out, and I brace myself—“we want to meet him.”
“You want to meet him,” I deadpan. “The man that you’ve met and talked to dozens of times and whose house you sent me to in the middle of the night so I could help.”
She tsks. “You know what I mean. Officially. We want you to invite him and Grayson out to dinner with us so we can get to know him better. Go deeper than the neighborly small talk.”
“If he agrees to come to dinner, will you drop this? Dad, too?”
“Yes.” She grins when I agree to pass along the invite, then leans in for a quick hug before stepping back and motioning to the door. “Better get a move on so you’re not too late.”