Chapter 9
Rudy
What now ? The only thing I could think of was having his hand in my hair again.
I damn near felt my leg twitch with the pleasure of it.
Either that or bury myself in his neck to breathe in his scent again.
Both options threatened to bring my wolf out.
As it was, he was hovering just beneath the surface, making every action, every thought come slower as I tried to keep him down.
The power with which he wanted the man in glasses was making it harder for me to find a reason to stop him.
Bowen stood there, being so patient, looking so cute, and smelling so tasty. He was waiting for me to answer. An answer I didn’t have. “I don’t really know. This is all kind of new for me.”
He let out a soft laugh, making his brown eyes sparkle. “You and me both. I have so many questions.”
I stiffened at that. “What kind of questions?” We’d always been warned about being discovered, of the many horrors people did to the things they didn’t understand. But then… Bowen was here. At Creature Comforts Inn.
Bowen shrugged. “I don’t even know where to start. Do you think we could maybe go somewhere to talk?”
My lips pursed as I tried to push past the urge to grab him and keep him and never let go.
Maxime said he couldn’t get a read on him.
A small, tiny, itty-bitty part of my brain said I should run this by him, but it was drowned out by my wolf’s needs and my own interests aligning for once.
Here was a man who had seen me as my true self and didn’t run. Instead, he sought me out.
I didn’t smell any malice in him. My nostrils flared as I drew in his scent again. A mistake. A big mistake. My wolf pushed from within, and I felt my claws pierce my fingertips, and my eyes blurred.
“Do you mean it?” The words came out in a lower register, my wolf bleeding through.
Bowen’s brows arched high, but he didn’t seem afraid. “Mean what?”
My chest tightened as my skin stretched, and I huffed a deep breath. “Safe?” It was the only word I could push out, using all my strength to try to hold him back.
“Yes. You’re safe with me, Rudy. I won’t tell anyone, I swear.”
I shook my head as my teeth elongated. “No. Bowen safe?” A snarl let loose from deep within me.
With more tenderness than I could fathom, he grabbed one of my hands and held it in both of his, despite my now-visible claws and the hair that had pushed through the back of it.
Bowen looked up and met my gaze. He didn’t flinch, he didn’t panic; there wasn’t a hint of fear wafting from him.
“You’re not going to hurt me. I’m safe with you, too, Rudy. ”
“Come!” I barked out, wrapping his small hand in my much longer, furry one.
I didn’t wait for him to respond; I couldn’t.
Not when I was minutes away from losing myself completely.
I needed to get to my room, to safety. Bowen grabbed his messenger bag from the bench at the side of the court as I dragged him away.
He threw it over his shoulder, but he didn’t pull his hand away from mine.
My vision sharpened, warping to a pink hue that allowed me to see further and clearer than I could with my human eyes.
“Fuck!” I snarled. Faster, I needed to move faster. Stopping long enough to lift Bowen and throw him over my shoulder, I picked up my speed. He simply let out a laugh that I felt rumble through my body, making my wolf growl in response.
The trees flew past us as I rushed toward the side door of the main building, aware enough to know to avoid the lobby…
and Maxime. Bowen’s hands went to my waist to brace himself as I flung the side door open and ran to the basement access door.
Already, the doorknob was getting harder to grip in my clawed hands.
Once we were in the outer room of my basement apartment, I lowered Bowen onto the couch. “Stay!”
My wolf fought every step I took away from the man as I forced myself to my room. A roar ripped through my body when I closed the steel door, locking myself in and locking Bowen out.
“Bowen!” His name tore out of me as my beast broke through, slamming against the door. Need was my only driving thought. Need for Bowen.
A light tap sounded on the other side of the door. “It’s okay. I’m right here.”
Hearing his calm voice soothed my beast. It wasn’t enough to satisfy, not with him so close and yet unreachable.
My wolf wanted to touch him, hold him, taste him.
Fuck, I wanted it, too. It was so very tempting, but despite Bowen’s trust in me, I didn’t trust myself.
How could I when I’d never been able to control myself, and Bowen’s presence only made it worse?
No. Not worse, not really, but more… intense.
“What do you need right now, Rudy? Can I get anything for you?”
“Need. You.” The number of times I’d been aware enough to speak in this form was few, and it took a lot of concentration to form words through snout and fangs. “Stay, Bowen.”
“I’m not going anywhere. There is nowhere else I’d rather be. Except maybe on the other side of this door with you.”
Almost instantly, his gentle voice seeped into my soul, reaching me in a way nothing else ever had.
My racing heart slowed, and I felt my claws release from the clenched fists.
I felt more present, more aware. Not shoved into the depths of my mind as I often was when my wolf came out.
A sense of rightness hit me square in the chest.
“Keep talking.” The words were deeper than my normal voice, but not as animalistic as the last. I breathed in deep and added, “Please.”
“Keep talking,” Bowen repeated. “Okay, well, I tend to talk to animals more than people, so I’m not really sure what to say. Oh! I guess I could tell you about that. I’ve learned to keep it to myself, but seeing as you are what you are, I think I can trust you with this.”
I nodded, though he couldn’t see me. “Yes, Bowen. You can trust me.” I moved my jaw from side to side, feeling my fangs recess and my facial structure start to relax. It was strange to feel this part of the transition and be fully awake and aware of it.
“Right, well, the thing is… I can communicate with animals. It’s not that I squeak or squawk or meow, but for some reason, it’s like an open channel between me and them. I can hear their words through their own natural sounds, and I’ve learned their languages enough to understand them.”
Bowen continued, telling me all about his remarkable gift.
The more he said, the more my body relaxed, and the beast settled within me.
It was as though the sweet voice through the door had lulled him into submission.
My forehead pressed against the cool, metal door, as a languid smile stretched my human lips.
A nudge against my leg had me glancing down to see Ellie.
I still didn’t know how she always knew when I shifted or how she got into my sealed room, but my smile stretched at the sight of her.
I squatted down and ran my hand over her back, being careful of the small spikes. “Thanks, girl. I’m okay.”
She tilted her head, looking me over before nudging her head into my hand. “Yup. I’m all good. Thanks to my, um, friend. Oh! He says he can talk to animals. Do you want to meet him?”
Ellie’s head lifted, and her amber eyes seemed to spark with interest, but she shook her head and nudged me again. I guess I was on my own. How was I supposed to have a casual conversation with this man I had not only licked in my other form but had acted like a total alphahole with?
“Are you all right, Rudy?” Bowen asked through the door.
“Yeah. Yes. I’m coming out now.” Assessing myself, I felt for my wolf to gauge his reaction. It seemed as if he was settled within me, no longer pushing to come out. There was a sense of eagerness bristling through me, but it didn’t feel as if he was ready to take over.
After undoing all the locks, I pulled the door open. When I saw the concern in the brown eyes behind Bowen’s glasses, my heart did a weird somersault in my chest, because the concern wasn’t for himself—as it should have been—but for me.
“Are you… okay?”
The care in his voice had me ready to pull him into my arms and envelop his small frame, but I didn’t trust myself to touch him right now, not with my wolf humming inside of me at Bowen’s nearness.
Running a hand through my disheveled hair, I said, “Yeah. I apologize for handling you the way I did, though. I couldn’t stop from shifting, and I had to hurry.”
Bowen cracked a smile. “I’ve never been thrown over someone’s shoulder before, or carried, for that matter. I thought that only happened in the movies. It was bouncier than I imagined.”
Heat crawled up my neck, mortified by my actions. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It was pretty thrilling, to be honest.” Bowen tilted his head back to meet my gaze and gave me a quick smile before looking away. “So, this is your… what? Lair? Den?”
I snorted a laugh. It was surreal to have someone in my space who wasn’t one of my inner circle, and to have someone who knew what I was. “This would be my living room.”
Bowen glanced over his shoulder at me, his brown eyes twinkling behind his glasses, making my heart stop beating altogether.
At least it felt that way with the squeeze in my chest. How did such a simple look affect me so much?
I was so transfixed that I stubbed my toe on the corner of my coffee table and nearly fell on top of it.
Bowen was suddenly there, catching me with his much smaller form.
He didn’t have to support my weight, probably wouldn’t be able to, but he helped keep me from face-planting right in front of him.
I didn’t know which was worse—face-planting or licking him?
“Thanks,” I muttered and stood up, trying not to lean into him and soak up his scent and warmth.