Chapter 9 #2
Bowen gave a nod and wrapped his fingers around the strap of the bag he still wore. Seeing it gave me pause. Was he feeling… trapped? Was he merely being polite and biding his time until he could run out the door? I didn’t want him to think he had to stay if he didn’t want to.
Scruffing a hand through my hair, my lips pressed into a tight line, even as I could feel my wolf ready to protest within me. “Thanks for talking me down, but, um, you can go if you need to.”
Bowen flinched, and his brows knit together with surprise. “Do you not want me to be here?”
My lips quirked to the side as I tried to figure out how to answer. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to be here.”
“What? No. No, I don’t. I’m exactly where I want to be. What would make you think that?”
My eyes lowered to the strap he clutched in front of his chest with the bag hanging at his side.
Bowen looked down to see where my eyes fell, and he quickly drew the strap over his head and set it down on the coffee table.
“Sorry, it’s sort of a comfort thing, I suppose, and something to do with my hands when I don’t know what to do with them.
But… I’d like to stay and talk, if that’s okay? ”
Relief filled my entire body. Relief and a weird sense of belonging at seeing his bag on my table. Seeing anyone’s things in my room was a novelty, but something about the image before me was oddly comforting. Realizing he was waiting for me to respond, I nodded. “Yeah, I’d like that.”
“So you remember bringing me here, right?” Bowen asked as he sat on my couch.
There was room next to him, but it would put us too close, and I didn’t know how much I could handle before my beast might try to climb out of me to get to him. I sat on the floor with the coffee table between us. Bowen watched with an arched brow, but said nothing.
“I do, yes.”
“Do you remember what happened on the pickleball court?”
“Mostly. I remember catching your scent and smelling it mixed with another, uh, person’s.”
Bowen shifted until he tucked his feet beneath him, looking completely at home on my couch. It made me wish I could cozy up next to him, but I kept my seat on the floor. “Does that sort of thing happen often?”
“What? Grabbing innocent bystanders and acting like an asshole? No. I swear. It just came over me.”
“No, that’s not what I meant.” Bowen’s lips quirked, and amusement lit his eyes behind his glasses. “Not remembering. Like when we were on the walking path. Do you often lose track of what’s happening or lose time?”
I shrugged. “Most of the time, actually.”
“That must be scary. I’m sorry, Rudy.” The tone of his voice was so sincere and sweet that it squeezed my heart once more. Not only was Bowen not afraid of me and what I could become, but he seemed to understand some of the fear I’d always kept to myself.
I tucked my knees up and rested my arms on them.
“It can be, yeah. Waking up in strange places, not knowing what I had done or if I had hurt anyone, or if anyone had seen me. It’s not necessarily the same for others, but I’ve never really been in control of that side.
It’s like I get pushed down into myself and can’t quite connect with it. ”
“So you lock yourself in a cage when you feel it coming on so you don’t have to worry about what you might do?” Bowen nodded his head toward the steel door of my bedroom.
I gave a nod, feeling my throat tighten with vulnerability. He was damn perceptive, and I wasn’t used to opening up like this. “It’s my bedroom, but yeah.”
“Bedroom? As in… that’s where you sleep?” Bowen’s eyes narrowed as he looked past the door I left open.
Heat crawled up my throat. “Yes. Even the image of the moon can throw me into a shift, so there are no windows. And… well, it’s very, uh, minimal in there because my wolf doesn’t like feeling trapped, so he reacts pretty strongly to being locked inside.”
Bowen’s face morphed into a look of sorrow. One that had me wanting to tug him into my lap and hold him. “Being locked up would cause anyone to react strongly.”
I lifted my shoulder in another shrug. What was the alternative? I certainly couldn’t risk hurting others, so it was better if the only one I hurt was myself. Forcing a smile, I tried to shake it off. “It’s okay. I have friends who check on me.”
“That’s good. So your friends know, then?” Bowen asked.
“Yes.” An actual smile came to my face. Having the group here had made a world of difference for me. I wasn’t nearly as isolated and alone as I had been before Creature Comforts.
“It’s been changing lately, though,” I admitted. It wasn’t even something I’d told Zee or Maxime, but seeing the sweet man in front of me and the pull I felt toward him, I suddenly needed him to know.
His brows arched up, and he leaned forward. “It has?”
“Yes. Like earlier. I couldn’t stop the shift, but I felt… present the entire time. It was different, easier even. Usually, coming out of it completely drains me, but not this time. I was able to change back a lot more easily, too.”
“That’s great, Rudy.” Bowen offered me a sweet smile. “Why do you think that is?”
Staring at him, I took in the short, auburn hair, the black-framed glasses, the nutty-brown eyes behind them, the narrow cheeks, and the light shadow on his chin.
Cute. He was ridiculously cute. But even more than his appearance, there was something about him that my soul seemed to reach out for.
Something I couldn’t understand. His name sat on the tip of my tongue, and with it a nearly overwhelming sense of rightness.
“I have an idea, but I’m not sure I want to say it yet. ”
“That’s fair, I suppose. I mean, we did just meet. Okay, I have another question for you, if you don’t mind.”
I nodded. “Sure.”
“You mentioned you were one of the founders of this place. If that’s true, then why do you work as the handyman? I’m not putting it down or anything, but it’s a big job, so I’m curious how that came about.”
A sheepish smile stretched across my lips.
“Everyone had something to contribute to the function of the inn but me. They all have their own talents and skills, and I… well, I break a lot of shit. It tends to happen when you turn into a werewolf and can’t control it.
And when you’re really good at breaking things, you have to learn how to fix them, too. So, that’s what I do… fix things.”
Bowen grinned, looking so bright and beautiful that it made me want to lick him. Or… lick him again, only maybe I’d remember it this time. The thought made my cheeks flush, and I rested my hands on them to try to cover it.
“You know what, Rudy? I think you don’t give yourself enough credit. You have skills and talents, even if they aren’t glitzy or glamorous. No place can keep going without someone doing all the hard work to keep it maintained.”
Pride sparked in my chest. My friends had said it before, but somehow hearing it from someone outside our circle hit me differently. “Yeah?”
“Yup, definitely.” Bowen’s smile softened and his expression looked thoughtful. “So why here? What made you decide to start an inn? I feel like that would be risky, given the concerns you have with your wolf.”
“It’s safer than anywhere else.”
“How so?”
“It’s what we built the place for. To be a refuge for folks like me.”
Bowen gasped and sank to the floor, sitting in front of the couch with the coffee table between us. He lowered his voice and whispered, “There are other werewolves?”
I barked out a laugh at the adorably surprised expression. “No, at least, not currently.”
“So what do you mean… folks like you?”
I squinted my eyes for a moment. What did he mean by ‘What do you mean?’ Then I remembered Maxime saying he couldn’t get a read on Bowen.
Was Bowen human? Did he not know what this place was?
He knew about me, so what would be the harm in telling him?
I took a deep breath and met his gaze. Telling him should be okay.
It would have to be. Hopefully, the others would forgive me.
I wasn’t usually one to share secrets that weren’t mine, but I didn’t want to lie to him.
“Creature Comforts isn’t just an inn. It’s a place that was made for supernatural beings. For people who maybe aren’t people and who want to be able to be themselves away from the eyes of a watchful society. There are some humans, Maxime has a trick to handle them, but most that come here… aren’t.”
I held my breath as I watched him take the information in. It was one thing for him to accept me, but how was he going to react knowing it wasn’t just me? It wasn’t fear I saw in his face or smelled from him, but I could see him processing, could see the wheels turning.
Bowen cocked his head to the side and asked, “Like a cheetah?”
That was not the question I was expecting. “Cheetah?”
“Yeah, the guy at the pickleball court, he’s a cheetah.”
A growl rolled through me as the flash of pheromones he was giving off while talking to Bowen hit me, and I couldn’t stop the snarl that fell from my lips. “I thought he smelled catty.”
The man across from me let out a loud laugh. “Not a fan of cats, then?”
“Generally speaking, they’re fine, I guess.
Cats tend not to like me, mostly. Not all cats, since my best friend happens to be a griffin.
But it’s not that. I didn’t like the way he was trying to take what’s…
” I stopped myself before saying the word, a growl rumbling low in my chest at the thought.
Fuck! I had no right to feel so possessive of this man I barely knew.
Even the memory of seeing the guy talking with Bowen made my wolf want to tear free again.
Bowen’s brows arched up and his eyes lit with interest. “Finish your thought, Rudy. If you don’t want to say it out loud, you can let your wolf do the talking, and it will stay a secret between us.”
“Mine!” The word came out with a bite before I could try to hold it back. I scrubbed a hand over my face, feeling my cheeks flush hot, and mumbled, “Shit, sorry.”
“It’s okay. I don’t mind.” When I looked up to meet Bowen’s gaze, I was surprised to see him grinning widely.
“You don’t?”
“Nope. It’s kind of nice, actually. I’ve met a lot of animals, and they can be very protective of me. So… it’s a little familiar, and a little bit not, considering you’re not an animal.”
I felt my own lips stretch into a smile at the simple acceptance in the statement.
Perhaps I wouldn’t push or scare him away with my wolf-ness.
That I could be me, whichever part of me that presented itself, and he wouldn’t run.
Gods, please don’t let him run. I already knew it would devastate me if he did.
A feeling I didn’t understand, but it was there all the same.