Chapter 33
THIRTY-THREE
LUNA
Returning to the scene of my crime is the least of my worries as I stare at Sadie and try to figure out what she might be thinking.
As far as I know, her memory has still not returned, so I should be safe.
But I did not fail to register the flicker of emotion on her face when she realised that I had accompanied Reid and the children on this visit.
There was a definite reaction from her and while it could be one that is simply because no woman enjoys the company of their ex-husband’s new partner, it could also be that there is a part of her brain that remembers how my presence signifies danger for her.
I don’t know, but what I do know is I cannot just stand here and say nothing. I can’t appear to be hiding anything. So I force myself to speak.
‘Hi, Sadie. How are you feeling?’
The tension, and awkwardness, in this beautifully decorated room are palpable.
It hangs so heavy in the air that it feels like someone could cut it with a knife.
As well as Sadie’s eyes on me, I can feel her parents’ gaze burning into my back from where they stand behind me in the hallway.
Then there is Reid, standing between me and his ex and looking as hapless as ever, no doubt wanting the ground to open up and swallow him so he doesn’t have to spend another second between us two women.
‘What are you doing here?’ Sadie asks, and I feel my heart skip a beat.
Does that question mean she remembers?
‘Erm,’ I reply, looking to Reid because I’m not sure what to do. Then Sadie speaks again.
‘I thought you hated me,’ she says.
That’s when I realise that she isn’t questioning my presence here because she knows I was trying to kill her before her accident. She’s questioning it because, based on her memory, she was trying to kill me, and therefore, she should be the last person I would ever want to visit.
Sadie starts crying then, causing concern from her children who were hugging her but now worry why their mother is shedding tears.
I realise that rather than the potential disaster I was afraid of, it could actually be an opportunity to further cement myself as a friend to this family rather than a foe.
‘I don’t hate you,’ I say softly. ‘I know a lot has happened between the two of us, but I consider it all to be in the past. I want you to know that, which is why I’m here. I want you to know that I forgive you.’
If this scenario wasn’t actually as warped as it was, my words could qualify me for the Nobel Peace Prize, such is the generosity and compassion I am displaying to a woman who ‘tried to kill me’.
Of course, there is no compassion at all and I’m simply playing another one of my games, but it seems to be working.
‘I don’t deserve your forgiveness,’ Sadie says, wiping her tears.
‘It’s very kind of Luna to forgive you,’ Reid says then to his ex. ‘But we both just want you to get better.’
Sadie nods as she continues to try and dry her tears.
‘How about a cup of tea?’ I suggest then as a way of breaking the ice a little more, and Sadie’s mum agrees that is a good idea.
I decide to follow her into the kitchen, if only to get a little break from being around Sadie.
Reid and the children stay with her while Sadie’s father joins us, and as I enter the immaculate kitchen, it’s clear to see just how impressive a job the builders did on this house.
Of course, I held no ill will against the couple who lived here when I set fire to their property.
It was simply a means to an end to add the final bit of force to Sadie and Reid’s marriage so they would separate and I could swoop in.
That’s why I’m glad to see that it appears it has turned out well for this couple as they stand in their lovely rebuilt home.
The only losses they incurred were of the material kind rather than the more serious loss if somebody had died.
‘Thank you,’ Sadie’s mother says to me as the kettle boils.
‘What for?’ I ask.
‘For your forgiveness. You didn’t have to do that, but it will help Sadie a lot to know that she isn’t hated by you and Reid.’
Sadie’s parents seem just as clueless as their daughter is around me, but long may it continue.
I suspect they have held any debates or discussions about their daughter’s alleged behaviour that night in private, and whatever they think, they are keeping it in the family, which is the way it should be.
‘Like Reid said, we just want her to get better. That’s the best thing for everybody, especially Arthur and Ruby. They need their mother, and like I’ve always said, I am not trying to replace her.’ I smile.
That last part couldn’t be a bigger lie, but Sadie’s mum is still looking at me as if I’m the one doing her the favour.
But what about Sadie’s father? I look to the person who has so far been quiet and see him leaning against one of his fancy new kitchen worktops.
Luna’s father is much harder to read than his wife is.
‘I also understand that whatever happens, you will always have your daughter’s back and that I will always be the woman who has taken her away from her children,’ I say, a way of getting that message across to that man.
‘Sadie and Reid were finished before you came along,’ Sadie’s father says, and it’s good of him to acknowledge that fact, even if he has no idea I was actually far more present and pulling strings in their life than anybody realises.
‘Even so, I accept that we probably won’t ever be close because it’s simply too awkward,’ I say.
‘But I just want you both to know that Reid and I are committed to helping Sadie in her recovery in any way we can, and we hope that one day, we can all coexist and make things hospitable, not just for the children but because it’s good for us adults too. ’
Sadie’s father nods his head, seemingly understanding and respecting my position on things. As for his wife, she looks even happier than that.
‘Thank you so much for not making this any worse for our daughter,’ she says.
‘We have been so afraid that she was going to go to prison, but if you are showing forgiveness, the police are less likely to punish her severely once she has recovered and they fully investigate what happened at the house that night of her accident. I know her memory is not what it was, but she has been apologetic, so it’s obvious she was going through a very difficult time back then and was not behaving in a way that was true to her character. ’
‘That’s okay,’ I say, feeling like the bastion of forgiveness.
‘I understand that the police have a lot to sort through surrounding that night, but it’s good that they are giving Sadie some time and space to hopefully make a full recovery.
And as for any restraining orders or anything like that, Reid and I don’t feel that would be necessary.
We are satisfied that Sadie was struggling with her mental health back then, but hopefully now she has turned the corner and can rebuild her life, with all of our support. ’
Sadie’s mum surprises me then by rushing towards me and giving me a hug, clearly extremely grateful that I am not pressuring the police into punishing Sadie with the full force of the law after she ‘broke in’ to our home that fateful night.
Sadie’s father holds off on any hugging himself, but that’s fine by me because this visit has already gone far better than I thought it would when I was in the car on the way over here.
I was fearing the worst, that Sadie would see me and instantly remember everything that she once knew.
But not only has that not happened, but she and her parents are treating me like some kind of saint.
As we leave the kitchen and return to the luxurious living room where Sadie, Reid, and the three children sit, I am feeling comfortable enough now to not only enjoy my cup of tea but also savour a chocolate biscuit with it too.
Could this really be happening?
Can I be sitting in the house I set fire to, being made to feel like a welcome guest?
Can the people who should hate me more than anything else in the world actually be looking at me with admiration rather than anger?
I think so.
That’s why I decide to reach for a second chocolate biscuit.
After all I have worried about lately, it seems my time for stress is over. So who cares about a few extra calories? I have my freedom and my family and all because I have offered Sadie forgiveness for something she didn’t actually do.
What more could I ask for?