Chapter 34
THIRTY-FOUR
SADIE
Look at her sitting there on my mum and dad’s new sofa, sipping tea and scoffing chocolate biscuits. Chatting away. Making herself at home. Acting as if she didn’t almost kill my parents and children when she set fire to this house before trying to kill me too.
I want to get off my sofa and strangle her.
Wrap my hands around her neck and make her choke on that third biscuit she has just helped herself to.
I want to keep wringing her neck until her face goes blue, her eyes bulge out of her head, and she lets out her final gasp of air before her body goes limp and my revenge is complete.
But I won’t do that, at least not yet.
That’s because this is working so far.
I have her exactly where I want her.
For possibly the first time since she came into my family’s life, she is in the weaker position.
I have always been the vulnerable one, susceptible to whatever Luna was plotting behind my back and unable to stop whatever plan she had put into motion until it was far too late.
But not anymore. Now I am the one plotting and she is the one who will be too late to stop it.
She has no idea, but she is the vulnerable one now, and it will stay that way for as long as she thinks that this is over and the past is dead and buried.
I see her lean forward and check on Jude in his pram, the little boy having been sleeping soundly and silently ever since they got here.
He must still be asleep now because Luna sits back after checking on him, satisfied that he is still comfortable, and it makes me wonder if being a new mother has dulled some of her strengths and skills.
Would she be able to see through my ruse if she was still the same desperate woman who used to deliver parcels to my door?
I suspect she might. Back then, she had to be on the top of her game if she was to stand a chance of getting what she wanted.
But now, possibly worn down by pregnancy, sleep deprivation, time, or simply sheer complacency, she seems to be unaware that the hunter has now become the hunted.
Whatever the case, I cannot ease off now.
I smell weakness in Luna, but best of all, the only weakness she sees in the room is sitting on the sofa opposite her.
She pities me, I can see it written all over her face.
Why else would she come out with that pathetic story about how she just wants me to get better?
She genuinely thinks I am some poor loser who has not only lost her family but also the one piece of her memory that could have enabled her to get them back.
What’s this? She’s reaching for a fourth chocolate biscuit? The slim, slender and sexy Luna, who took everything from me, is now so content with her life that she is allowing her diet to slip and is unafraid that Reid might not find her quite as attractive.
She really does think she has completed her mission.
My revenge is going to be even sweeter than I thought.
Jude suddenly wakes up then, the little boy letting out a cry to alert everyone else in the room that after his nap he would now like to go back to being the centre of attention.
Luna quickly finishes her biscuit before reaching down and picking him up out of the pram, and he quickly settles, showing he has developed a close bond with his mother, as one would expect. But I decide to test that bond now.
‘He’s gorgeous,’ I say with a smile. ‘Would it be okay if I held him?’
I study Luna’s reaction to my request, interested to see how it will affect her.
Will she be mortified about the thought of allowing her arch-enemy to hold her baby?
But, if she is as saintly as she suggested earlier, why should she care about handing him over to me if she really just wants me to be happy?
I wait and see what Luna does.
She keeps up her act.
‘Of course,’ she says, standing up and carrying Jude over to me before carefully lowering him down into my arms.
‘Just watch his head. He still can’t support it yet,’ she says to me as if I have never held a baby before in my life.
But there are two children in this room who are evidence that I have more than my fair share of experience when it comes to this, and I gently cradle Jude without the need for any further instruction.
As Luna steps away, leaving me with her child, I love the power I hold over her in my arms now.
I am literally in possession of the one thing that she must love more than herself, the only thing that could possibly stop her selfishness so that she resembled something like a normal human being rather than the monster she is.
Of course, I’ll never know for sure how much Luna is willing to sacrifice for her baby, and whether she is like almost every other mother on the planet in that she would be willing to lay down her life for her child.
But wouldn’t it be fun to find out?
For now, I make do with snuggling Jude, this innocent little boy who has no idea of the monster he came from.
Whatever happens from here, this poor child will not have a normal life.
I am going to see to it that the truth comes out about Luna, even if it costs me my own life in the process, and even knowing that he will grow up without his mum around.
Luna will either be in prison or dead. It’s not his fault and it’s not what he deserves.
But it is what is going to happen and, for that, I feel terribly sorry.
‘He’s very handsome,’ I say, aware that all eyes in the room are on me, as if I might not be well enough to be holding such a precious thing as a baby. But there is no danger of me dropping him.
‘Can you believe that you two were this small once?’ I say to Arthur and Ruby, both of whom scoff and agree that it can’t be true, especially my son, who seems to think he has always been the bigger, more boisterous person he is now.
‘They grow up so fast,’ my mum says then, a hint of sadness in her voice. I’m sure she can hardly believe how I have gone from a baby to being an adult in the blink of an eye, and particularly how, while all these years have passed, I’m technically back to depending on her again.
‘No matter how much they grow, they still end up costing you money,’ Dad chimes in, and everybody laughs.
‘You can say that again,’ Reid adds.
For a split second, it’s as if we are a normal group of people enjoying some time together in a house in the suburbs.
If somebody was to look in on us through the window, they might simply see a scene of relative domestic bliss.
But below the surface, a storm is coming, and the reality of this situation is that it won’t be long until all of us in this room can never be together like this again.
If I have my way, it will be Luna who is missing.
If she has her way, I guess it will be me.
So who will win?
I’m starting to feel tired now and I cannot allow fatigue to make me sloppy and slip up in my deception of Luna. That’s why I indicate that I’m ready to hand Jude back to his mother before making sure to yawn a couple of times so that everybody hopefully gets the hint.
‘How about we get going and give your mother some time to rest?’ Reid says to Arthur and Ruby, getting the hint.
‘Yes, you are looking tired,’ Luna says. ‘We’ll get out of your way so you can relax this afternoon.’
Luna looks more than happy to leave, which is the opposite of my children, who both want to stay here.
‘You can visit again tomorrow,’ Reid says then, and I smile at him because he is still not showing any signs of limiting me to the way we were co-parenting before.
‘I’ll be sure to stock up on chocolate biscuits for when you return,’ Mum adds, and that piece of good news is enough to get Arthur and Ruby moving.
I want to see them off from the front door, even if it’s going to take a lot of effort to get myself there, so I allow Dad to help me up and then we follow everyone out into the hallway.
As I watch my children put on their coats and shoes, I feel a pang of pain that they are leaving me.
It’s not right that Luna gets to spend so much time with them and I’m stuck here, missing them every minute, but it’s not forever. At least I hope not.
‘See you soon,’ Luna says as she waves us off with a smile before pushing Jude’s pram out of the door. ‘I hope you get some sleep, Sadie.’
‘Thank you,’ I reply, playing my part until that woman is out of sight and earshot before I turn back into the house and let out a deep breath. That was hard, but I did it. Luna still has no idea that I’m onto her, and that’s the way I like it.
‘Can you help me upstairs, please, Dad?’ I ask my father, who is only too happy to oblige, and once he has assisted me onto my bed, I ask him if I can use his laptop.
‘I thought you were resting,’ he says sceptically.
‘I will do. I just need to check something,’ I say, and he reluctantly hands over his laptop, clearly worried that I’m going to spend hours surfing the web instead of sleeping like I should be.
But I will rest, just not yet. First, I want to log in to my social media accounts and check my messages.
I haven’t been online in such a long time and I’m curious to see who might have got in touch.
My best friends have been sure to stay in regular contact with my parents since my coma and I will see them all soon.
But what about my other groups of friends, people who might have heard I have been through a hard time and might have reached out to express their concern or extend their sympathies?
Checking my social accounts, I see that I do have several messages to read through.
Sure enough, news has travelled that I have been out of action for so long.
I can see that all sorts of people from my past, from school friends to parents of my children’s friends, have left messages at varying times over the past year, letting me know that they hope I am okay.
It’s very sweet and I appreciate them all.
It’s also what I need to remind myself that, beyond my two children and my parents, there are plenty of people who care about me and only want me to do well.
It takes me a while to sift through the messages, but I reply to as many of them as I can before I feel a massive headache coming on, a sure sign that someone recovering from a brain injury should not spend too much time on a computer.
But before I close the laptop and then my eyes, I notice a more recent message that is still unread.
I don’t recognise the name of the sender, someone called Jack, but I open it to give it a read.
Hi, Sadie. You don’t know me, but I know all about you, and I really think we should talk. I believe you are out of your coma now, which is great news, and I hope your recovery is going well. When you are feeling better, please reply to arrange a meeting. It’s very important. It’s about Luna…