Chapter 45
FORTY-FIVE
REID
Many parents wonder which parts of them their children will inherit. But while most talk about personality traits, eye colour or height, there is something far more serious and sinister that I have to think about when it comes to my son.
Does he take more after me or his mother?
I hope he’s going to be like his dad.
I hope he’s not going to be evil like his mum.
Staring at Jude and trying to figure out if he will one day grow up and demonstrate any of the crazy behaviours that Luna did is ultimately a frightening and futile pursuit.
It’s too early to tell if my son might end up being as insane as the woman who brought him into this world.
I sure hope not, and I like to think that he will become a product of the safe, stable environment I am trying to foster for him, rather than end up susceptible to whatever strands of DNA run through his body from his mum’s side.
Time will tell and, until it does, I guess I’ll have to worry about it every day.
I’ll try to enjoy my life in the meantime though, and that’s what I intend to do now as I pick Jude up and carry him from the carpet to the sofa, where I sit him down on my knee to give him his latest bottle of milk.
I’ve always prided myself on being a hands-on father, but I’ve really had to step up my game over this past month.
That’s how long it has been since I became a single parent in the most shocking of ways.
How does a person process all that has happened to me?
From getting a call from Sadie to tell me that Luna had been struck by a police car to getting to the hospital and finding out that my girlfriend had died.
From that initial wave of shock and grief came the tsunami of news that the police car involved in the accident had been on its way to arrest Luna at the time.
The reason for that arrest? Sadie explained that one to me.
‘Please, let me talk to him,’ I heard my ex-wife say to the detective whilst we stood in that hospital corridor, me with my hands on my head and pacing in disbelief after learning of Luna’s demise.
Sadie had led me into a private room, where the pair of us had sat down, and while I was still shell-shocked, she had begun to speak.
‘What I’m going to tell you about Luna will seem unbelievable, but just know that it is all true,’ Sadie had said, and I could tell she was trying to break this to me as gently as possible.
‘You probably won’t believe me, but I have the evidence for you to see if not.
But I hope you trust me because I care about you and don’t want this to be any harder than it is already going to be.
That’s why I wanted to be the one to tell you first.’
All I could do at that time was sit in stunned silence and think about how Jude had lost his mother. So Sadie spoke again softly.
‘Luna targeted us,’ she said. ‘You know she was our delivery driver, but it went well beyond that. She became obsessed with us and concocted a plan to infiltrate our family and remove me from it so she could take my place. It took a long time for me to figure it out, but Gemma helped me before she died. I’m afraid to say that it was Luna who killed Gemma. ’
I’d almost been sick at that suggestion.
‘Nonsense,’ I’d said through tears, but Sadie had reached out and taken hold of one of my hands, giving it a squeeze and that simple act made it seem real, rather than just some wild theory from my ex.
‘She was in the hospital at the time,’ Sadie had said. ‘She saw Gemma and she took the chance to silence her. She was also trying to silence me before I woke up, but she failed. The only reason she didn’t try to kill me again was because I pretended to have amnesia.’
‘No,’ I’d cried then, but Sadie didn’t let go of my hand.
‘Luna had us all fooled. She was clever and manipulative and that’s why this is not your fault.
You have nothing to feel sorry for, but I do.
I thought you had ruined our family and forced me to lose custody of the children.
But I was so wrong. You were totally innocent in all of this, as was I and as was Gemma.
Luna was guilty of everything, and she had to be stopped. So I stopped her.’
‘By killing her?’ I’d gasped through tears.
‘I didn’t kill her,’ Sadie explained. ‘She was running away when she got hit by that car. She was running because she was trying to avoid prison.’
‘She wouldn’t run,’ I’d argued. ‘She wouldn’t leave Jude.’
‘That’s exactly what she was doing,’ Sadie corrected me.
‘She was willing to leave you all behind if it meant getting away with what she had done. She showed her true colours right at the end. She never cared about family. Not really. All she cared about was herself. I wish I’d recorded our conversation like I secretly filmed us in your kitchen, but there was no time.
It was all happening so fast. But it’s the truth. ’
It had all been too much to process and I couldn’t bear to hear any more, mostly because I could tell that Sadie was being honest with me. That was the biggest difference between Sadie and Luna. Only one of them lied because they had bad intentions, and that person was not my ex-wife.
‘Please, stop talking,’ I’d begged Sadie, and she complied before moving round to sit next to me and offer me a shoulder to cry on.
I ended up accepting that offer and I stayed in that position for a long time.
When we eventually emerged from that room, we both knew we had a lot of work to do to not only tell the children about what had happened but also to make things work for our family going forward.
That’s what we’re working on now.
As I sit here with Jude, Sadie is with Arthur and Ruby.
I believe they’ve gone to a funfair. They should be back soon, but for now, I am going to enjoy only having one child to look after.
This is hard enough, but I have no choice but to manage it.
Jude needs his daddy more than ever now he has lost his mummy, so I will try and fill the role of both parents.
But I also know that is impossible, which is why it has been incredibly kind of Sadie to say she will help too.
‘Jude is Arthur and Ruby’s little brother,’ she had said to me before we left the hospital that fateful day.
‘Therefore, he is always a part of the family, and that means I will always want what is best for him. Whatever his mother did, it isn’t his fault, so I won’t be taking anything out on him.
He is an innocent child and deserves to be treated as such.
That’s why, whatever help I or my parents can offer you, please take it. ’
I’d agreed then because I knew I didn’t have any other choice. I’d never manage on my own. But with Sadie’s support, maybe I could make it. So far, we’re struggling but surviving.
As I finish Jude’s feed, I try not to dwell too much on my part in all of this.
How it was my brief attraction and flirtation with Gemma that created cracks that Luna was able to exploit.
How I provided Luna with the perfect target to frame, whilst also giving her a way to make Sadie feel like things were too far gone between us.
How I didn’t believe Sadie when she told me she hadn’t been drunk at the wheel of her car that day, or when Gemma told me that Luna must have been behind it all after I visited her in prison and revealed I had a new partner.
If only I had listened. If only I had taken more time and thought more about things.
If only I hadn’t been so quick to move on from Sadie after our separation and sleep with Luna after she found me in that hotel bar.
Sadie is right. We were targeted. Both of us, equally, for different reasons but one common theme.
We were both vulnerable.
Luna exploited that.
This is what we are left with now the dust has settled.
I suddenly hear car doors opening and closing so carry Jude over to the window.
Looking through the glass, I see Sadie’s car and Arthur and Ruby getting out of it.
My ex has her driving licence back after it was reinstated based on the probability that Luna had spiked her as part of her plot to destroy her life.
It was good of the police to give her the benefit of the doubt after initially treating her like a criminal, and it is certainly good that Sadie has more of her independence back.
She is still living with her parents but hopes to move out soon.
Where will she move to? I don’t know, but it won’t be here.
Sadie and I will not be getting back together.
Too much has gone on between us. Things that can’t be forgotten or forgiven.
But that’s okay. It’s for the best. We work well as friends now.
As I open the door and see Sadie, Arthur and Ruby approaching the house, I smile.
This is our family.
We were normal once, but not anymore.
We never will conform or be stereotypical ever again.
But we still have something every family needs.
Love.
I really hope that is enough.