Chapter 46
FORTY-SIX
SADIE
‘Tell your father all about your day,’ I say to Arthur and Ruby as they rush into the house, a sweeping sibling sugar-fuelled storm descending on this quiet home where my ex and his son were enjoying a peaceful afternoon.
‘We went to the fair and it was so much fun!’ Arthur cries.
‘I went on the rides!’ Ruby adds. ‘The teacups and the big rollercoaster!’
‘It wasn’t a rollercoaster,’ Arthur scoffs, correcting his sister. ‘It was a baby ride.’
‘No, it wasn’t.’
‘Yes, it was. Even Jude could have gone on it.’
Reid and I share a smile then, as the squabbling siblings carry on their conversation whilst heading into the kitchen, probably to look for snacks.
‘Would you like to come in for a minute?’ my ex-husband asks me, and I detect the hope in his eyes that I will say yes.
Maybe he wants me to hang around here and help out with the kids a little more, or perhaps he just wants some adult conversation before he’s left with nothing but childish chat for the rest of the day.
But I’m going to have to disappoint him because I already have other plans.
‘Sorry, I can’t,’ I say. ‘I’m on my way to meet a friend.’
‘No problem,’ Reid replies, trying to hide his disappointment. ‘Which friend?’
‘His name is Landan,’ I say, and that was not the reply he was expecting.
‘Oh, I see.’
‘It’s a date,’ I add, for the avoidance of doubt. ‘We actually went on a date a long time ago, before my coma. We’re going to see if we can pick up where we left off.’
‘You don’t need to explain any further,’ Reid offers, but I don’t mind.
‘It’s good to be open and honest,’ I say. ‘He was actually going to be my boss, although I’ve decided not to take that job after all.’
‘Wow,’ Reid laughs. ‘You really were busy before your coma.’
‘Yeah, being unconscious for nine months and then needing lots of rehab while trying to catch a crazy person really killed my momentum,’ I say, jesting about something that we either have to try and laugh about or else we’d cry.
But then I wince at how I just described Luna as a crazy person because I wish I hadn’t said that.
It can’t be easy for Reid to think about how he trusted that crazy person to be the mother to our children instead of me, so I want to take it back. But before I can, Reid speaks again.
‘I hope it goes well,’ he tells me, and I can see that he genuinely means it. ‘You deserve to be happy.’
‘Thank you,’ I say, appreciating the gesture. ‘So do you. And you will be happy again, in time.’
‘I am happy,’ Reid replies, looking down at Jude in his arms. ‘I’m exhausted and covered in milk and will soon have the world’s worst headache when it comes time to put the kids to bed, but I am happy.’
We both laugh then, before sharing a small and simple moment in which we smile at one another. But I break it because instead of sharing long, lingering looks with my ex, I am off to potentially share them with another man.
‘Arthur! Ruby! Come and say goodbye to your mother!’ Reid calls out, and a second later, our two children emerge from the kitchen, still chatting away to one another about the rides at the funfair whilst also carrying the bags of crisps they have sourced for themselves.
‘Bye, Mum!’ Arthur calls out coolly.
‘Stay, Mummy!’ Ruby says, showing more of her youth and love than her older brother.
‘I can’t stay, darling. I have to go,’ I tell her before giving them both a hug. ‘But I’ll see you soon. I’m picking you up from school tomorrow.’
‘Yay!’ Ruby cries before she and Arthur rush off into the living room to watch TV.
‘Bye, Jude,’ I say to the little boy in Reid’s arms, and I give his tiny hand a hold and a squeeze before letting it go.
‘See you later,’ I then say to Reid before turning and walking away, never getting used to leaving my children behind or the fact that there is an extra child now and he will always make us even more connected to Luna’s legacy.
I get back in my car and see that Reid is still in the doorway watching me go, so I give him another wave before he finally goes back inside.
Not for the first time over these past few weeks, I get the sense that Reid harbours some small hope that we might reconcile one day.
But I can’t see it. Too much has happened and too much can’t be unsaid.
We can be the best of friends though. We can certainly make the children’s lives as easy as possible.
Even little Jude’s, who is a part of my family, whatever I might think about his mother.
As I drive on, I am glad that I have stopped getting flashbacks of the moment Luna was hit by that car right in front of me.
It was an awful sight, accompanied by an awful sound, and for the first few days afterwards, I would wake up hearing it in my sleep.
But that’s not happening as much now, so I hope the trauma is healing.
As for the rest of what Luna did to me, it will take a long time to heal from.
I’m just grateful that it is over, just like I’m grateful to Gemma and to Jack and to the police and to everybody who helped bring this to an end.
I reach the destination for my date and park my car before going inside, feeling the fluttering of nerves as I enter the restaurant that Landan has picked for us this afternoon.
It feels early for a dinner date, but maybe it won’t be over until late, and as I see Landan sitting at a table, I smile and offer him a wave.
When I reach him, he offers me a compliment before passing me the wine menu, and it isn’t long until I have a glass of wine in front of me to match his.
‘So, how have you been?’ Landan asks, and after taking a second to contemplate the sheer scale of that question, I burst out laughing.
‘If I said it was a long story, it would be the understatement of the year,’ I tell him.
‘Don’t worry. I don’t need to hear it all tonight. But maybe I can by the fifth date, if we have one, that is.’
‘Wow, a fifth date. Somebody is confident,’ I say, smiling whilst also feeling excited that things could go well enough with this handsome man to warrant seeing him again and again.
I wouldn’t be the only one excited about such a thing.
I know my parents are desperate for me to find love again and not just because they want their fancy new house back for themselves.
They just want me to be happy, and they know I miss companionship since Reid and I split.
But all in good time. For now, I want to focus on getting my own place, kickstarting my career, leaving room for a little romance, but most of all, finding time for family.
As if reading my mind, Landan asks me about them.
‘Are your family well?’ he wants to know, which is very sweet of him.
But I’ll have to disappoint him.
‘For one night only, can we forget my family?’ I say cheekily, raising my wine glass to his.
He smiles, shrugs and taps his glass against mine before we drink.
As we forget all about family and focus on some frivolous fun, I wish there had been one other person who could have forgotten about my family.
Luna.
If only we hadn’t made such a big impression on her.
If only she hadn’t become fixated on me, my husband and our children.
If only she hadn’t wanted my family before taking them from me.
She’d probably still be alive now and I’d probably be at home with Reid, Arthur and Ruby, while Jude wouldn’t even exist.
But that little boy deserves his place in the world.
He deserves his place in our family.
Our bigger, crazier, infamous family that has been the talk of the town.
I was only joking there when I said I wanted to forget about them.
How can I?
I love them.
I’m lucky to have them.
Correction…
I’m lucky to have them back.
* * *
If you were racing through the pages of The Happy Family, you won’t want to miss The Doctor’s Wife, another addictive psychological thriller by Daniel Hurst.
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