Chapter 19 #2
"I'm not sure what I would say to him. Would I tell him that you are simply worried because he's been a bit more cautious than normal?
" Phineas shook his head. “Everyone is a bit on edge because the past few days have been extra-long.
I am sure that if we spent a little more time getting to know each other and appreciating each other, then everyone would be less defensive. "
Theda let out a huff of frustration. “All right. You're right, I'm just…I don't like seeing things happen like what happened earlier. I didn't know that it was possible for this wagon train to vote on removing someone from the wagon train.”
Phineas’ gaze turned stormy.
“Anything can happen out here. When a crowd gets rounded up like that, there isn't much you can do to talk them down.” His tone bit with defensiveness.
Theda took a deep breath. Her brother was right. A crowd was hard to control. Even her brother, the leader of the wagon train, wouldn't have been able to do much to control them if she and the pastor hadn't managed to talk them down.
Phineas stood up, and for a moment, he stopped working.
"Of everyone on this train, you probably know Jem, but the best. Do you think I need to be worried about this whole fighting thing?"
Theda bit the inside of her lip. She wanted to tell him now that there was nothing to worry about. But she didn’t know. None of them did. They were all hoping that Jem was the man they’d gotten to know, but was he really?
“Maybe Della can bring some of the other families over tonight, and we can spend some time together. Perhaps a little laughter and time spent will help everyone calm down toward one another." Th eda suggested.
“That sounds perfect. Maybe I’ll even get my fiddle out.”
Th eda smiled. All right. Come by the wagon for dinner when you’re done.” She turned and made her way quietly back to her wagon, planning her route to pass by Della’s and tell her the plan first.
She had to find a way for the others in the wagon train to accept Jem and get to know him the way she had.
When she finally made it back to her wagon, she set to work getting things ready for dinner. She made up a big pot of steaming stew while Della went to the different wagons to invite the families. In a matter of a couple of hours, the festivities began.
Some of the families came over and joined the campfire. Some of them brought their own supper or little things to share. When Phineas arrived, sure enough, he brought his fiddle.
The music drifted through camp, and something in the company relaxed. Shoulders lowered. Laughter came easier.
Someone added more wood to the fire. The Finch children ran shrieking around the outside of the circle until their mother caught the youngest and deposited him firmly on a blanket. Declan started clapping along to the tune.
Then someone launched into a truly terrible rendition of a song they all knew. The singing was bad enough to earn a round of laughter. That seemed to improve everyone's mood even more.
Theda sat between Della and Mrs. Osgood and let the sounds wash over her. Nora eventually climbed beside Della and curled against her side. Before long, her eyelids drooped shut. Della glanced down at the sleeping girl and smiled faintly but didn't move.
Nearby, Edmund wandered around the fire with all the caution of a small boy determined to get too close to it. Verity intercepted him twice without ever pausing her conversation.
The music shifted. Someone cleared a space near the fire. A few couples stepped into it. They began to dance, to twirl and move with the music, as if they were one.
Theda smiled, watching them, until someone touched her shoulder.
She looked up. Jem stood beside her. The firelight caught the edges of his dark hair, and for a moment, he looked oddly uncertain, as though he'd spent several minutes talking himself into something and was now reconsidering it.
He held out a hand.
"Would you do me the honor of this dance?" Theda blinked. Jem's mouth twitched. Mischief twinkled in his eyes, which drew her in, mesmerizing her.
"Perhaps we can find out whether I'm as good at dancing as I am at fighting."
A surprised laugh escaped her.
"I sincerely doubt that." Perhaps it was too soon to joke about it.
Before she could overthink it, she slipped her hand into his. His fingers closed around hers. The warmth of his skin sent little tingles down her arm.
Something fluttered unexpectedly in her stomach. Her heart raced.
Can he hear it?
Jem led her toward the open space near the fire. Theda wasn't great at dancing, though she held her own. Jem, on the other hand, seemed to know how to do it well.
His free hand rested on her waist, and he led the way. He swayed with the sound of the fiddle, drawing her close. She stumbled forward and stepped on his foot, eliciting a small oomph from him.
Then somehow, she managed to do it again.
"Sorry," She could feel her cheeks blushing a deep red as she met his gaze.
Jem grinned.
"There. It seems I do know how to dance.”
“As do I, to a degree.” Theda giggled, and he joined in.
“To a degree would be right, but practice makes perfect.” His laugh rolled out low and warm, and she found herself smiling before she'd even realized she'd started.
The fiddle played on.
Around them, other couples moved with confidence neither of them possessed, but after a while, it stopped mattering. Jem's hand stayed settled lightly against her waist.
Each time his fingers brushed her side, a small shiver chased its way through her. What was she thinking? Jem wasn’t Nick.
Her heart clenched. Especially with everything she knew about him, about his past, she couldn't risk it. What if Leland, of all people, were right, and he ended up being the very worst type of person that had somehow gotten covered up by his lack of memories?
The fire crackled nearby. Children's laughter echoed somewhere beyond the circle of light. Theda couldn't bring herself to focus on anyone else. All she saw was Jem. He was staring down at her, his eyes swimming with mixed emotions she couldn’t quite read.
The world seemed to narrow until there was only the warmth of his hand around hers and the steady rise and fall of his breathing.
"You look nervous," Jem said softly.
Theda looked up. "I am."
His smile gentled.
"Good."
She frowned. "Good?"
"Means it's not just me." He smiled again, and it made her heart flip. Heat rushed into her cheeks. Jem looked pleased with himself for exactly half a second before his expression softened again.
Their steps slowed. Theda became aware of how close they were standing. Of the way his thumb brushed lightly across the back of her hand. Of how deep his eyes looked in the firelight.
She should have looked away. Instead, she found herself holding his gaze. For a moment, Jem's eyes dropped to her mouth.
The breath caught in her throat. She wanted him to kiss her, to want to kiss her, to want to choose her. The thoughts were too much, catching her off guard.
She had to fight to hold back the tears that threatened to well up. Nick came to mind; the similar feelings she’d had for him. Guilt swirled in her stomach for a fleeting second. Was she willing to let him go? To risk loving again?
Jem's hand tightened slightly at her waist. The space between them seemed to disappear. Theda's eyes jumped to his lips. They were full, and right there in front of her, but…
"Might I cut in?" Theda jumped.
The spell shattered instantly. Leland stood beside them, smiling pleasantly enough, though there was something deliberate about the timing that made her stomach sink. She looked from him to Jem.
For the briefest moment, disappointment flashed across Jem's face. Then it was gone. His expression settled into something calm and unreadable as he released her hand and stepped back.
"I suppose so," he said softly. "I'll find you soon," he whispered. Theda watched him go as Leland took his place. All she could think about as Leland turned her was how she wished that Jem was still dancing with her.