Chapter 12
TANISHA
Tani raced through the changing rooms backstage, her hair flying in a wild, tangled mop behind her.
She’d just about managed to coax the security team into letting her in and it had only worked because the guy in charge had seen her with Kabir often enough.
She opened the door to the main room, the one Kabir usually used before a show but it was empty.
Shit. She ran down the long hallway, knowing she only had minutes before the band was due to take to the stage for their rehearsal. Where the hell was he?
“Tanisha?” Rahul, Kabir’s assistant, widened his eyes when he saw her. “Is everything okay?”
“Kabir,” she gasped, pressing a hand to her side. “I need Kabir.”
Alarmed, he pressed a finger to the gizmo in his ear and muttered something. “Sound check,” he told her. “Let’s go.”
But she was already running, even before he’d finished the word ‘go’.
She burst into the wings, startling Kabir’s drummer, Malik, into dropping a drumstick.
Up ahead, Kabir stood in front of the microphone, tuning his guitar as he hummed beneath his breath.
Ayaan, the guitarist, spotted her and grinned, “What’s up, Tani girl? ”
Kabir’s head shot up the minute he heard her name, his gaze lasering into hers, his brow furrowing. “Tani? What’s wrong?” He was already striding towards her, crossing that vast stage with his guitar in one hand.
She ran, throwing herself into his arms, her legs going around his waist. He staggered but he caught her. He always caught her, she though, a wild exultation coursing through her blood.
“Bug?” He looked up at her, his arms going around her to offer support and hoist her up more securely.
“I got it,” she whispered, her eyes glittering with excitement. “I got the job!”
A fierce grin split his face. “Of course you fucking did! That’s my girl!”
His girl. She was his girl, always had been. She stared into his eyes and knew, even before he could say anything…she knew she was his like he’d always been hers.
She slid her hand into his hair, cupping the back of his head, her other arm curving around his shoulders.
His gaze went wary, caution seeping into it.
And her heart stuttered, reality seeping in.
She slipped out of his grasp, standing on her own two feet.
Kabir’s arms stayed around her in a loose cradle, supporting her until she was steady.
And then they dropped away, fists clenching, as he stepped away.
“Congratulations Bug,” he said, his eyes shining with pride and something else…something neither of them dared define. “You did it.”
He took a careful step back, away from her.
“I did it,” she agreed, her heart hurting from the distance she saw him putting between them. “I got my foot in the door of Wall Street.”
“Foot in the door,” he scoffed. “Give it a few years, you’ll fucking rule the place.”
“Kabir.” Varsha, his manager, appeared by their side. She gave Tani a brief nod, one which told Tani exactly how annoying she found her. “Sound check please. We’re running late.”
“In a minute.” He looked at Tani, eyes warm. “I’m so fucking proud of you.”
Her heart turned into a gooey, mushy, puddle. “And I you.” Aware of Varsha’s disapproving glare, she grabbed him for a last hug. “Now, go be the rockstar the world knows you are.”
He grinned, tipping her a mocking salute. He started walking backwards, calling out, “We have to celebrate. Tonight?”
“Tonight,” she confirmed, nodding. Tonight…Tonight she would tell Kabir everything. Tonight she was going to scoop her heart out and offer it to him. Tonight…She stood there, in the wings, watching the man she loved step into the spotlight and take center stage.
The shrill crowing of the rooster had Tani sitting jolt upright in bed. A dream, she thought, she’d been having a dream. A memory slipping out from the sealed vault she’d condemned them all to. She could still feel the imprint of Kabir’s arms around her.
Congratulations Bug. I’m so fucking proud of you.
The words whispered through her, making her squeeze her eyes shut tight. He certainly wasn’t proud of her now.
“Do you think I don’t realise that touching you, kissing you, holding you, was the worst mistake I could ever make?”
The worst mistake, she thought with a bitter twist to her lips.
The words every girl dreams of hearing from the man she loved.
The fucking rooster crowed again and she muttered a curse, dragging herself out of bed.
Moving quietly so she didn’t wake Kimi or Vedu, she brushed her teeth, splashed cold water on her tired face, ignored the bloodshot, swollen eyes that met hers in the mirror, and left the room.
She wandered through the quiet, empty farmhouse, everyone else apparently sleeping in despite the freaking huge ass bird crowing outside their windows. Everyone but her mother, she thought with a wince as she reached the kitchen.
Shikha was standing by the window, a mug of steaming hot coffee in her hands, her gaze on the fields in the distance.
“Coffee?” Shikha asked without turning from the window.
“I’ll make it,” Tani said quietly, knowing her mother was still pissed about the way she’d spoken to her the previous evening.
Shikha held out a perfectly manicured hand, stopping Tani in her tracks. She stepped away from the window, her back still to Tani, as she moved to get a fresh mug and make Tani coffee.
“I’m sorry,” Tani whispered to her stiff back. “I didn’t mean to snap at you like that.”
“Hmm.” Shikha’s noncommittal answer made her feel worse.
“I’ve just been under a lot of stress,” she added lamely. “With the wedding and everything.”
Shikha turned then, her incisive gaze slicing into her daughter. “With the wedding?” she queried. “The wedding you’ve made zero effort to plan? When I ask for your opinion on arrangements, you shrug and say…wait what was it…oh right…you say ‘whatever.’”
Tani flushed. She took the mug from her mother and sipped, scalding her tongue in the process. “You’re better at this stuff than I am anyway,” she muttered. “I trust your judgement in all of it.”
“Most brides have an opinion on their wedding lehenga, at the least,” Shikha snapped.
“I don’t care, Ma,” Tani said. “You choose. You have the best taste.”
Flattery was going to get her nowhere if her mother’s expression was anything to go by.
“What do you want from me, Ma?”
“The truth.” Shikha stepped closer, concern in her eyes as she scanned her daughter’s face. “Do you want to marry Jay, Tani?”
Tani laughed nervously. “What a silly question,” she muttered.
“And one that you’re not answering.” Shikha was giving no quarter this morning. “What the hell is going on, Tani?”
A sound by the door had them both turning. Karam stepped through the front door, smacking his hands together and blowing on them to warm them up.
“What were you doing outside?” Shikha asked in surprise.
“Kabir wanted to borrow my bike to go back. Apparently, his manager has scheduled a surprise festive season performance for them in Mumbai. The band’s flying in today and they need to get some practice in.”
“He’s gone?” Tani asked through numb lips.
Karam nodded. “Yeah.” He noticed her shocked expression and his own softened, “Don’t worry, sweetie.
He promised to attend all the wedding functions.
Although,” he frowned, “the show is the evening of your wedding so he said he’ll have to leave immediately after it’s over to make it back from Il Cuore in time to perform. ”
“I want to live my life, I want to move on, and I can’t do it if you’re around. I need to not be where you are. I need you gone.”
Her words from the previous evening echoed in her head, tangling with the memory that wove through her dream, and his words to her the previous day.
She might be his worst mistake, but even now, Kabir Kashyap was giving her exactly what she asked for.
I need you gone.
Her breath caught as her chest caved in with the weight of her grief and anguish.
“Tani?” Shikha’s sharp question had her looking up at her with dull eyes.
“A wine red brocade,” she said, the words choking her.
“Excuse me?”
“The wedding lehenga…I want a wine red brocade lehenga with a gold choli.”
Shikha’s eyes creased with worry at whatever she saw in Tani’s face. “We’ll go shopping together,” was all she said when she spoke.
Tani nodded, clutching her mug of coffee, and walking out of the kitchen, avoiding her parents’ concerned gazes.
Her phone buzzed in her pajama pocket. She pulled it out and glanced at the display. A single message with just two words.
Goodbye Bug.