Chapter 20
TANISHA
“Do you think I look pretty?” Tani twirled in front of the mirror, her dress swirling around her. Her big, gap toothed smile telling the world how happy she was.
“You look beautiful, Bug.” Kabir came to stand behind her, towering over her, a dark shadow in all black.
Tani bounced on her toes, delight spilling through her. “It’s going to be the best birthday ever.”
“I got you something,” Kabir said gruffly, handing over a large, gift wrapped box. He watched indulgently as she ripped the paper of it with very little grace or patience.
Tani squealed at the sight of the Nintendo switch. “Thank you!” she screamed, throwing herself into his arms. Karam and Shikha had refused to get her one despite endless pleas that all her classmates had one and she was the only one left out.
“I’m your bad influence friend.” Kabir winked, grinning.
“You’re my best friend,” she said solemnly. “I love you, Kabs.”
His eyes seemed to shine and for a moment, Tani was worried he would cry.
“Aren’t you going to say it back?” Tani asked, pouting, a little miffed that he hadn’t as yet.
“I, uh,” Kabir ducked his head. “Don’t know how to say stuff like that, Bug. It’s a little hard for me.”
Oh. Tani pondered over that problem and then snapped her fingers. “I know.” She beamed. “You don’t have to say it.” She took his hand in hers. “I. Love. You.” Each word was accompanied by a tight squeeze of his hand. “See? You can say it without saying it.”
Kabir swallowed hard, looking at the little hand in his. And then he squeezed. Once. Twice. Thrice.
Time flies when you’re miserable. Happy, she corrected herself.
Time flies when you’re happy. She sat on a bench in front of the mirror, her sunshine yellow lehenga spread out around her, flowing over the seat and onto the floor.
The choli, of the same colour, was a simple wrap, leaving her shoulders bare.
Her hair had been pulled into a messy bun, stray ringlets framing her make up free face.
Vedika and Kimaya hovered around her looking like angels in their sweet, white lehengas, gauzy dupattas draped over their cholis. Unlike her, they had their makeup and hair done. Also, unlike her they looked happy.
The window on the far wall framed the vineyards of Il Cuore. The family had driven in yesterday and the wedding festivities began with today’s haldi ceremony.
Three days from now she would be married.
It had been three weeks since the disastrous lunch with Kabir and her failed intervention with the fathers. She wasn’t sure what had gone down after that but no one had bothered to update her on it. Not her father, not her uncles, and from Kabir…there had been nothing but radio silence.
What had she thought would happen? What had she hoped for? That Kabir would discover he couldn’t live without her and come rushing over to stop her wedding?
He hadn’t. He wouldn’t.
Kabir had shown her time and time again that he wasn’t going to come for her, that he didn’t want her in his life. And she was done waiting for him to feel otherwise. For once, Tani didn’t want to be rejected. She wanted to be chosen.
And Jay had chosen her. Always.
“Can we get you some water, Tani?” Vedika asked, breaking through her thoughts, and reaching over to smoothen one of Tani’s rebellious curls. It sprang up again the minute Vedika removed her hand.
Tani sighed, grabbed Vedika’s hand, kissed it and let it go. “No thank you and leave the hair alone. My hair has never behaved itself. Unlike yours,” she said a little enviously as she looked at Vedika’s gleaming sheath of waist long hair, every strand lying in perfect precision.
“Tani, are you ready?” Shikha popped her head around the door, looking beautiful in a white saree that gleamed with embroidered mirrors in it.
She nodded, her gaze meeting her reflections’ in the mirror. Oh dear God! Was she ready? Behind her mother, her father appeared looking thoroughly out of place and disgruntled in a white kurta pajama.
“Looking good, Dad,” Tani said, her lips twitching as her mood lightened for a moment.
“Shut up, smartass,” he grumbled, ignoring Shikha’s laughter as he came into the room and stalked over to where Tani sat. Shikha came to stand beside him and for a second, the mirror framed the three of them.
“You look beautiful,” Shika said with a gentle smile. “Like a ray of sunshine.”
“Or egg yolk,” Karam added unhelpfully.
Vedika and Kimi giggled as Tani pretended to be offended. Another knock on the door interrupted them and Rehan stuck his head in, his hair standing up in spikes and his eyes looking sleepy and annoyed.
“They’re waiting for you all downstairs,” he mumbled. Then his gaze snagged on Tani and it widened. Tani watched in astonishment as her brother blinked back what looked like fond tears.
“You look like loose motions,” he told her, swiping roughly at his eyes and walking off.
“I don’t see a career in words in his future,” Karam said sardonically.
“Is everyone here?” Tani asked, her heart starting a galloping rhythm at the idea of leaving the sanctuary of this room and going down to face everyone, to face him.
“Yes,” Shikha said, draping a yellow chiffon dupatta on Tani’s shoulder and pinning it in place.
“Not everyone,” Karam corrected, meeting Tani’s eyes in the mirror. “Kabir hasn’t come as yet.”
“What?” Shikha looked up startled. “Why not?”
“He said he has some last minute sound check for the concert,” Kimi answered from behind them. “He may not make it.”
The fucking coward, Tani thought, fury surging through her. He didn’t even have the guts to come and watch the carnage his choices had wrought. She pushed to her feet, shrugging away her mother’s hands as they fiddled with the dupatta.
“I’m ready,” she announced. “Let’s go.”
She marched ahead of her bemused parents and sisters as they followed her out of the grand mansion and onto the lawns where the low stage had been set up for the haldi.
Tani plonked herself on the little stool in the middle, her sisters arranging the folds of her skirt around her.
Angry tears glittered in her eyes as she looked around at the crowd gathered there.
Why did it matter that he hadn’t come? It was just one more sign that he didn’t care.
He’d rather be fiddling with his guitar, jamming with his bandmates, kissing supermodels, than be here. For her.
Her mother stepped up, a small silver bowl in her hand. Shikha scooped a little haldi and dabbed Tani’s cheeks, leaning forward to hug her gently.
“Be happy, Tani. May you be blessed with a lifetime of happiness.”
Tani’s heart constricted in her chest as her mother’s words sank in. A lifetime of happiness. Her pulse fluttered like a trapped bird as she smiled automatically at Maya who’d stepped up next.
“Love you Tani girl,” Maya whispered, her arms wrapping around Tani.
Kanak came next, her white kurta already streaked with haldi on one side. It looked like she’d been wiping her fingers on it. She smeared a wide streak on each of Tani’s cheeks and declared in a loud whisper, “If he ever pisses you off, let me know, I’ll help you bury the body.”
Tani laughed, the sound watery but true. “You’ll dig the grave?”
“I don’t do sweaty work, baby,” Kanak muttered. “You dig. I’ll push him in.”
Tani almost cried then but she held on, control winning out for the moment. It was only when Aayushi, her aunt and Kabir’s mother, stepped up that she knew she was in trouble.
Aayushi put two little spots of ground turmeric on her cheeks, wiping the stray tears that escaped Tani as she did so.
“Love is hard. Marriage is harder. But you, my baby girl, are the toughest little fighter I’ve ever known.
I wish you and the man you love a lifetime of happiness together, my jaan. ”
And Tani lost the battle. There was no together with the man she loved. Nor was there going to be a lifetime of happiness. All she had left was duty and sacrifice.
A small disturbance at the far end of the lawns drew her eye.
And through the watery sheen of her tears, she saw him.
He shoved the sleeves of his crisp, white kurta pajama up his arms, letting it rest at his elbows.
Sunglasses shaded his eyes but there was no doubt that he was looking at her. Only at her.
Kabir Kashyap had arrived.