Chapter Twenty-Nine
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
SEBASTIAN
I turn my back to the bed so I can dump Leena onto it. She lets out a squeak. It’s so fucking cute.
Then I realize my phone’s not in my pocket.
“Dammit. I’ll be right back,” I tell them, heading out to find where I fucking left it this time.
When I make my way far enough down the hall to be in view of the kitchen, I stop, staring at Colton. He’s still sitting at the bar counter, but his head is down, his face buried in his arm, his outstretched fist is tight. Is he still holding the key we gave him?
It’s then that I notice the subtle shaking of his body.
Is he… crying?
I figured he would make some wise-crack about stealing all of our shit or something when we gave him that key. But this, I was not prepared for.
Not even a fucking bit.
I step closer, and he notices. He quickly wipes at his eyes and grabs the envelope, crinkling it as he shoves up from the counter.
“Sorry,” he says quickly, heading toward his room. “Goodnight,” he adds, his eyes looking at the floor.
Before he can brush past me, I stick a hand out, placing it flat on his chest and stopping him dead in his tracks.
When he finally looks up at me, I can see his eyes are still red and glassy. He was fucking crying. And I don’t know why, or what the fuck I’m supposed to do about it.
So we just stand here, my hand and my conscience preventing him from moving forward as we stare each other down.
“This past week was fun, that’s all,” he says quickly, pressing his chest against my palm, but I don’t let him move.
“Fun enough to make a grown man cry?” I feel him take a deep breath, then settle back on his heels. He looks at me while I search his face for some sort of fucking answer. Then he puts his own palm on my chest. I glance down at it, then back at him. My brows furrow.
“Whatever you have going here, Seb. Don’t ever let it fucking go.”
I stare, and the silence settles between us as I take in his words; Take in the hollowness in his eyes and the way his jaw is clenched.
His hand slides away, then he’s gone, leaving me standing alone in the hallway.
I walk toward where my phone is sitting on the counter, and I swear I barely see it, even as I grab it and make my way back to our room.
I walk inside, closing the door and staring at the little device as if I’ve never seen one before.
“Seb?” Luke asks, sounding concerned. I look up to find him sitting alone at the end of the bed.
“She in the shower?” I ask, tipping my head toward the other door.
“Yeah. What’s wrong?” he asks, standing and stepping toward me.
“We need to talk about Colton.”
—
When I wake up, my arms are still wrapped around Luke. Leena is still crushed between us. Because yeah, maybe what Colton said got to me a little.
Maybe I don’t want to let them go.
And I know they’re mine, but I also know I’m shit at relationships. I always have been. There’s still time for me to fuck this up. Still time for something to go wrong on this next op.
I hold them tighter.
Because seeing the pain in my friend’s eyes made me realize how much they fucking mean to me. Seeing him hurting because he’s alone broke my fucking heart.
I recognize that loneliness. I had that same look in my eyes for a long fucking time. Too long. But even then, I still had Luke. I’ve always had Luke.
Colton doesn’t have anyone.
I close my eyes and think about that damn note Luke gave to me, about how I feel about it.
I squeeze the two people I care about harder.
When I feel Leena’s hand on my cheek, I lean into it for a long moment. She shoves at me until I’m on my back, then straddles me. “You know I love you, right? I’m not going anywhere,” she whispers and I close my eyes as she presses a kiss against my lips.
When she pulls away, I tip my head to the side, realizing that Luke is still asleep before looking back to her. I didn’t tell her about last night, this is just how well she knows me.
She leans down again, kissing me slowly. So fucking slowly. I slide my hands up her bare legs, gripping her hips and reveling at how soft she is. She didn’t bother to put clothes on after her shower last night, which I appreciate. So much, in fact, I’m already hard.
When she presses her hands to my chest and sits up, I admire her perfect fucking body, letting my eyes linger on every single part of her, grateful that I get to wake up next to her like this every single fucking day.
And when she moves back, lifting herself up and reaching between us, I hold my breath, letting it out once she is fully seated on my cock.
“ Fuck, Leena.” I grip her hips tighter as she slowly grinds down on me.
When I try to thrust up into her, she stops me. “No, let me,” she says softly. I relax, and she starts a slow, steady motion that has my body practically melting into the mattress.
I watch Leena move on top of me like the fucking goddess she is until I feel the bed dip beside me. I turn, finding that Luke, still half asleep, has shifted closer and he’s looking up at me. He reaches out lazily, his fingers brushing over my bottom lip.
I think about that fucking note again. See the truth of it in his blue eyes.
Were they always this blue?
My heart rate quickens, and I start freaking out like I always do in this situation. But then I think about what Colton said to me last night. I steady my breathing, keep my eyes locked on Luke’s, and just take in the fucking moment.
—
My eyes meet Colton’s when I step into the kitchen. I nod to him, nearly imperceptibly, letting him know we’re good.
“You sure you don’t want to come with us?” Leena asks him as I move to sit beside her.
“Nah, I’ve got shit to do before we leave for our little vacation . But you all have fun.” He chuckles, turning back to help Luke with breakfast.
“That bad, huh?” she asks Colton, and Luke glares at him before replying.
“It won’t be bad. But my family is… a lot. They all mean well, but still. If you don’t feel up to it, you and Seb can hang back. I’m the only one required to attend.” Luke’s eyes widen in exasperation, but I know he misses them. Especially after hearing the news about Asher. I wonder if he’ll tell them today.
If I were him, I’d wait until we’re out of the country and mail them a fucking letter.
“Of course we’re coming, Lu. I’m just… nervous,” she says.
I notice her hands are fidgeting in her lap. Leena doesn’t usually fidget, but I understand that meeting the family for the first time must be stressful.
Luke wipes his hands on a towel, then walks around behind us, turning Leena in her barstool to face him. He cups her face gently in his hands.
“Leena. They are going to love you,” he whispers, then tips her chin up for a kiss before letting her go and returning to the stove.
I watch him, and something deep inside of me breaks.
I wish I had someone for her to meet.