Chapter 26
Twenty-Six
Lucas
W hen I park the car in the garage, Sadie and I sit in silence before either of us moves. I don’t want to talk about it, and I don’t want to try to understand what any of this means.
With Sadie, we don’t ever need to talk about it. She feels it, too.
I wish I could understand why she is so nice to him. Why doesn’t she tell him what a piece of shit he is for abandoning her through this pregnancy? Why doesn’t she understand she deserves so much more?
I wish I could spank her tonight. I need to feel that connection to her that only comes from those intense, visceral moments. But I don’t feel right doing that anymore—for multiple reasons.
I have another idea instead.
“My room,” I say. My voice is deep, just above a whisper.
“Okay,” she replies softly.
She opens the door and climbs out, but before she closes it, I say, “Miss Green.”
Pausing, she stares at me and waits.
“Naked,” I add. For a moment, I’m afraid she’ll argue or hesitate. Maybe I’m going too far. Maybe this fire burning between us is just me.
We both know this is reckless, but after the news today, I don’t want to push her away anymore. I want to pull her closer and savor every second I have left. And I’m not holding back anymore.
Her expression doesn’t change as she nods. “Okay.”
Then I watch as she slams the door and disappears into the house. As soon as she’s gone, I let out a heavy sigh.
This is going to hurt like a bitch. That much is clear. Not tonight. Tonight will be heavenly.
But the day I have to walk away from her and the baby, that day will be torture.
Have I briefly considered backing out and staying behind? Yes. More than briefly, actually.
I pondered it a lot today. I tried to picture what my life would look like if I said fuck it and stayed with Sadie. Made her more than a friend. Raised a baby with her.
It looks beautiful—like a dream.
But it’s not my dream. That’s not my life. It’s someone else’s dream.
How long until I resent Sadie for ruining my future? How long until I regret it? Every moment with her and the baby won’t be a dream. Some days will be awful and I’ll grow bitter.
Then, before I know it, I’ll turn into my father.
I’ll begrudge them both for not filling the hole in my life with their presence and their love. I’ll start to hate that love.
I won’t do to Sadie and the baby what my father did to us. I’ll love her until the very last moment, and then I’ll let her go.
I’ve made my mind up. It’s for the best.
As I climb out of the car, my blood is coursing through my veins so fast that I can practically hear the pulse in my ears. The house is quiet as I enter, and I make her wait as I remove my shoes by the front door, neatly setting them to the side.
When I reach my bedroom, there’s only one small lamp lit, so the room is dim. Sadie is standing in the middle of the room, waiting for me.
Like I instructed her to, she’s removed every stitch of clothing. I let my eyes take their fill of her perfect body. I’ve seen every part of her in small doses, but this view is enough to send me off to heaven. Her breasts are full and heavy with tight, pebbled nipples that match the freckles on her cheeks. The swell of her stomach is more evident than I’ve seen it before. Even her belly button has started to flatten, and even though it’s not biologically my child in there, the sight of her like this has me feeling downright feral.
Her round, plush hips look so soft to the touch I’m practically drooling. All I want to do is grasp them, squeeze them, hold them while I fuck her. Her thick thighs beckon to me, and I can’t wait to lose myself in them and feel them wrapped around me.
She’s standing proudly in the middle of the room, so we’re face to face. Slowly, I peel open each button of my shirt, and her eyes track the movement.
“You seem to have forgotten who you belong to,” I say as I slide my shirt from around my shoulders.
She lifts her chin defiantly.
My little devil.
“I’m not yours anymore,” she says.
“Think so?”
“You’re leaving,” she argues.
“I’m not gone yet.”
I take a menacing step forward. Her eyes search my face, and I realize that this is the only person on earth with whom I can do this. This silly little performance of ours. It’s how we communicate, and maybe it’s not the right way, but it’s ours. No woman will ever fill this role for me again. Once I leave Sadie, I leave this lifestyle behind, too, for good .
“Would you like me to prove it to you?” I ask, touching her chin. “Not that I need to. You’re already standing here naked, like I told you to. So you must already know you’re mine.”
When she doesn’t answer, I bring my mouth closer to hers. I don’t kiss her, and I never will. That’s a line I refuse to cross. But I want her to know this is as far as I’ll go in the distance between our lips.
“Don’t you?” I say, pushing her for a response.
“Yes,” she replies.
Moving my touch from her chin and down her neck, I let my fingers glide softly over every freckle until I reach her breasts. My finger swirls the tight bud of her nipple, and I feel her shudder.
“Take my pants off,” I say.
The touch of her fingers against my lower abdomen makes me shiver, and the sound of my buckle coming undone has my cock twitching in my underwear. It’s already throbbing and ready for her.
Once she has the zipper down, she slides my pants to my ankles, and I step out of them, kicking them to the corner. Her hand slides back up my legs until she reaches my boxers.
“Take them off, too,” I say.
With her intense gaze on my face, she slips her soft fingers under the elastic and pulls them down. My cock pops out, falling forward and aiming directly toward her.
“Get on your knees and open your mouth, Miss Green.”
She drops slowly to the floor, gazing up at me until her face is in line with my cock. Her bottom lip falls open, and her soft pink tongue peeks out. Holding my cock at the base, I rest it against her cheek, watching the way her eyes close and she revels in the weight of my shaft on her face.
Gently, I run the head of my dick across her lips and over her nose as if I’m marking her with my scent. Mine, it says to anyone who dares to touch her or come near her. She’s taken .
As I slide my cock into her mouth, I let out a rasping moan as I’m engulfed in the wet heat. She closes her lips around me and slathers my cock up, sucking me slowly like a sensual worship.
Her hands stay on her lap as she lets me use her mouth, easing in and out. We’re not rushing toward a climax. We’re savoring every second .
But as the intensity of my pleasure escalates, I pull my cock out and take a breath.
Reaching down, I hold her chin and force her to look up at me. “I want to fuck you, Miss Green. It’s not a punishment, though. Do you understand?”
“I understand,” she whispers.
“I need to hear you say it. Yes or no?”
“Yes. You can fuck me.”
Those words slide down my spine like honey. I practically melt to the floor myself from how good it feels to hear her say that.
“I want you to,” she adds sweetly.
“Then get on the bed for me,” I say. “Flat on your back. Spread your legs and let me look at you.”
She crawls to the bed and climbs up, stretching out in the middle of my king-size bed. Her legs butterfly open, and I stand at the end, stroking myself as I stare at her.
I want to tell her that I won’t fuck anyone else while I’m in England. It’s a foolish thing to think, let alone say, so I keep my mouth shut. Will I feel the same way months in? Can I make that promise? How do I know I won’t miss Sadie so much it will drive me into someone else’s bed?
I don’t. And I’m breaking her heart enough as it is.
But I do know with one-hundred-percent certainty that no one will ever be as perfect as her.
Walking over to the nightstand, I dig in the drawer for the box of rubbers and Sadie watches.
“I was tested at the doctor’s office, and I haven’t been with anyone else,” she says, her eyes pleading.
“I haven’t been with anyone either since I was last tested,” I reply, dropping the foil packet back in the drawer. “Are you sure?”
“I’m sure,” she replies. “I trust you.”
Arousal sparks at the base of my spine from the idea of being inside her with nothing between us. Leaving my seed inside her. It’s strange how that means something to me now when, before, it was often more of a fear than a fantasy.
Going back to the foot of the bed, I take my time as I crawl over her, kissing my way up her soft, pale legs. When I reach the insides of her thighs, I suck harder, scratching her flesh with my coarse facial hair. I want to mark her.
Reaching her pretty pink pussy, I breathe in her scent and let out a satisfied groan. I kiss my way around every inch of her cunt, the top, the bottom, the inside, everywhere. She moans softly with every touch of my lips.
Then I work my way up, kissing her gently on the hips and the soft mound of her stomach.
I quickly shove away any thoughts about the baby inside—the baby that feels like mine. The baby, which is definitely not mine.
She reaches for me, and I continue my climb until I’m hovering above her. I think she’s waiting for me to kiss her, but as I lower myself, I press my lips to her throat and then across her collarbones.
Reaching down, I hook an arm under her leg and grind my erection against her clit. She hums with pleasure as she touches my face and stares into my eyes. My heart beats faster, and I’m not even inside her yet.
Lining my cock up with her warm core, I stare into her eyes as I press myself inside her slowly. Her lips part as she gazes into my eyes. It feels like it’s the first time I’ve ever felt the wet heat of an eager body before, but Sadie is unlike anyone.
As I reach the hilt, she lets out a mewling sound, and chills ripple down my spine. My face falls to her breasts as I hold myself there, savoring the way she feels around me. I pepper her with kisses, imagining it’s her lips, wishing I could tell her what she means to me.
“We fit together so well,” I murmur against her skin. “Like we were made for each other.”
I release her thigh and she wraps them around my waist, using her legs to pull me even closer as if she can’t get me in deep enough. I’d crawl inside her if I could.
I can’t hold back anymore. Lifting up, I pull out to the tip and slam back inside her. She lets out a deep groan, letting her head hang back. When I do it again, I slam in a little harder. Biting her lip, she gazes into my eyes with a feral expression. Her fingers scratch at my chest like she’s asking for a hint of pain.
So I slam into her again and again. On each thrust, I let out a grunt and feel a spark of pleasure at the base of my spine. She has me falling apart piece by piece.
Holding my hips, she pulls me inside her, tilting her hips to allow me deeper access. I can’t stop, lost somewhere between pleasure and need.
“Right there,” she whimpers, reaching up to her own chest and pinching the tight buds of her nipples.
Taking her right thigh, I pull her leg up to my shoulder and fuck her harder in the exact spot that makes her eyes roll. I reach down and press my thumb to her clit, massaging it in tight circles.
Soon, her body tenses as her moans escalate, high-pitched and breathless.
“That’s my girl,” I mutter as I feel her cunt tighten around me. “Come on my cock, baby.”
She grabs on to my arms, digging her nails in as she shudders out the remainder of her orgasm. I pick up the pace of my thrusts, remembering that there’s no condom between us. So when I do come, I’ll be filling her up. Making her truly mine.
That’s the thought that brings me to climax, fucking her through the wave of pleasure. I grab her hand on my arm and intertwine our fingers. I bring them to my lips as I ride out the rest, kissing her knuckles and wishing they were her lips.
Once we’re both spent, I take my time before pulling out. Then I collapse on the bed next to her. My heart is beating so fast it feels like it’s going to punch its way out of my body. I still have Sadie’s hand in mine .
I turn my head to stare into her eyes, and she gazes back with a look that guts me. It’s soft and hopeful.
Just as I’m about to get up and find a towel to clean her up, she pulls me back down and crawls into my arms. Our naked bodies are pressed together as she presses her lips to my neck and nuzzles herself there.
“Let’s just stay like this for a while,” she murmurs.
“Okay,” I reply, wrapping her up in my arms.
“I want to pretend for a moment like this matters.”
Her exhale is cool against the wet skin of my neck, and I stare at the ceiling as those words run me over like a train. I don’t know if she’s talking about the sex, my seed, which is still buried deep inside her or us.
It doesn’t matter because she’s right—none of those things matter.
No matter how much it feels like they do.