Chapter 45
Forty-Five
Sadie
I peel my eyes open to a dark room and slivers of light peering through the edges of the curtains. My body feels like I’ve been run over by a truck, and I’m too afraid to move.
I turn my head to see someone standing near the window, staring down and swaying softly from side to side.
“Luke,” I whisper, and he turns toward me. Henry is bundled up and sleeping in his arms.
I lift my arms toward him, desperate to finally hold my baby. Luke walks toward me and gently places Henry in my arms.
I’ve never seen anything so perfect in my entire life. Perfect. From me .
My heart expands so quickly in my chest—it’s incredible. It swells and pulses and grows so large that it’s almost hard to breathe.
There is no question of how I can love someone so immensely so quickly—I just do. I place a kiss on his forehead and breathe in the strange but familiar scent of him. It’s like a drug. So I do it again.
Lucas perches himself on the side of my bed and puts an arm around my back. “You did it, Sadie,” he whispers. “Isn’t he amazing?”
“He’s so amazing,” I say, tears brimming in my eyes. “But is it bad if I say yesterday was terrible?”
Luke smiles. “Not even a little bit.”
The trauma of that day feels like it’s rewritten the chemistry in my brain. It was painful and long and terrifying and I never, ever want to relive anything like it. Even if this wonderful person is worth every single second.
Through all of it, Lucas was by my side. It was a true testament to his loyalty. If I ever doubted that I was a priority to him, yesterday proved it. Lucas would walk through the fires of hell for us, and he wouldn’t regret it for a second.
Resting my head against Lucas, I smile. “Thanks for being there. I don’t know what I would have done if you weren’t there.”
“Of course, I was going to be there, Sadie. I promised you that I’d never leave your side. And I meant it.”
I look up at him, somehow loving him even more now. “And you love him…right?”
His brows pinch together as he lowers himself until he’s lying next to me, gently touching Henry’s head.
“I love him so much it feels impossible.” Then he gently touches his forehead to mine. “You’re mine, so he’s mine, remember?”
I blink a tear out of my eye and it streams down my cheek. “I remember.”
We lie there for a moment before one of the nurses comes in to check my stitches and take my vitals. She encourages me to try and feed Henry and like a little champ, he figures it out immediately. It feels like needles being sucked through my nipples, but watching him eat is worth it. So glad no one warned me about that.
“What about my mom and Jax and everyone? Have you called them?” I ask.
“I did. Your mom and dad are on their way. My family will probably be here later. And…no answer from Jax yet,” he says as he gently strokes Henry’s head.
Looking down at the baby in my arms, I try to imagine what it will be like when or if Jax shows up. Will Lucas be angry? Will there be tension?
I glance up at him to see how he’s feeling about that, but I laugh to myself instead. He looks like a mess. His hair is disheveled, and there are deep bags under his eyes like he hasn’t slept in days.
“Do you want to go get some sleep? I’ll be fine here.”
“Nah,” he says, sinking deeper into the bed at my side. “I’m going to stay right here.”
My parents show up about an hour later. They coo and fawn over Henry. When my brother walks in and sees the name scrawled across the top of the bassinet, he starts to cry.
Henry Jonah Green
And then the Goodes show up one at a time. Sage and Adam first. Then Melanie. And then Caleb and Dean. Briar and Abby are out of town together on a mommy-daughter retreat, apparently. Part of me wonders if all of these babies being born in her family is affecting her, and I’m sure it is. But she’s taking it in stride. I’m glad she’s getting some quality time with her daughter. When she’s ready to see Henry, we’ll be here.
After everyone has come and gone, and our first day of parenthood is coming to a close, I’ve never felt more tired and in love in my life. I still can’t stop staring at Henry, and clearly, Lucas feels the same.
Our hospital stay lasts roughly two hundred and fifty days. Or at least it feels that way. Apparently, getting a C-section qualifies you for an extended stay, all-inclusive, of course. Bad hospital food and monster-sized pads are complimentary .
By the time we come home with Henry, I almost forget what a real bed feels like. Or what normal feels like. I can get around, but not comfortably and not fast.
Lucas is amazing. He does all the burping, bathing, changing, rocking, cleaning.
Not one single second does he appear to be a man who never wanted kids. He slipped into this fatherhood role like he was born for it.
As for Jax, still nothing. I think he’s scared. And I don’t blame him. I just hope he decides on something soon so we can stop waiting, but realistically, he may never fully decide.
For now, Henry is taken care of and that’s all that matters.
While I’m enjoying the best shower of my life, Luke gets Henry changed and cleaned up. We settle him into his bassinet next to our bed and Lucas pulls back the covers to make room for me to lie down. Once I do, he crawls in next to me. I rest my head on his chest, and he strokes my back.
It feels like the first day of the rest of our lives.
For some reason, I think about the day I moved in and how different it is from today. Lucas was cold, abrasive, and controlling. Since then, I’ve watched him thaw like ice.
I still love that dominant side of him, but I think he was so scorned by his own family that he never allowed anyone to see this side of him. He built a barrier around himself as a form of protection, and it makes me love him so much more to know that I get access to a part of him no one else does.
Henry and I both do.
“I’m going to ask Jax to sign over his rights,” I mumble against Luke’s chest.
I feel him tense beneath me. So I lift my head and look into his eyes. “I want you to be Henry’s legal father.”
His gaze softens as he brushes the hair from my face. “That’s a big decision, Sadie. I don’t need to be his legal father to call him my son. You know that.”
Nodding, I smile. “I know that. ”
“I’m committed to you and Henry, no matter what,” he adds with a furrow in his brow.
“I know you are,” I reply as I sweep a long brown lock of hair from his forehead. “But…Henry deserves to have your name.”
His chest inflates as his eyes grow wider. Then he takes me by the chin and lifts it closer until our lips are just inches apart. Gazing into my eyes, he whispers, “And so do you. If that’s…what you want.”
A smile spreads across my face. “Of course, that’s what I want.”
“Then it’s yours. Take my name, little devil. Take it all.”
Our lips meet in a warm, passionate kiss. I cling to him as he deepens the kiss, and although we both know this is going nowhere sexy, he cradles my sore and tired body in his hands and delicately kisses me like he means it.