Chapter 29
Sadie
Goddammit. Jake.
But when I swing around, Jane is standing there, one arm in a sling, and all I can do is gape at her.
What’s she doing here? James said she was struggling at home and that she asked him to stay.
Maybe his lack of communication is because he’s having second thoughts about what we did and wants to get back together with her?
Her glossy lips are pursed, her brown hair swinging in a high ponytail, still looking like one of those perfect New York downtown women despite the injured arm.
“You don’t have a degree from CUNY, do you?” she says.
Oh my God! Heat builds in my chest, moving up my neck and into my cheeks. What the fuck do I say to that?
“You’re a total fraud,” she adds, eyes narrowing. “How did you persuade Williams Security to take you on?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say as I shove the second earbud in my ear and turn away from her.
But she grabs my arm again.
“What the hell?” I shake her off. “I did a test.”
“But you didn’t go to CUNY, did you?” she says. “I told James. I told him you lied.”
My legs almost give out from under me. She told James?
Her face swims in front of me, the rush of traffic heading down Water Street washing in and out of my head for several frantic seconds.
I suck in a deep breath. “You’ve no idea what you’re talking about.
You think I can’t program? That they wouldn’t have realized that in the first five minutes of meeting me? ”
“But you would never have got an interview without a degree, would you?”
Christ, she’s put two and two together and come up with exactly the right answer.
I step back.
“Where did you learn to write software? Some crappy course on the internet?” She laughs. “What do you think someone like James with a PhD would think of that? How good is your math? James was always talking about how complicated it all was.”
God, she’s said all this to James. He knows I don’t have a degree. He knows I lied. James, who does indeed talk all the time about math and the complicated underlying systems.
“I bet they’ve been nothing but generous with you. You’re just a leech.”
I’m a leech? The fury rises hot and fast. “At least I didn’t get flowers for years from someone else and sleep with them.
” I lean forward. She thinks she’s not leeching off him?
After all the lies she told him? “At least I didn’t treat him so badly that he tried to jump off the roof of our apartment building. ”
She reels back, eyes wide. “What?” she whispers.
I close my eyes. I shouldn’t have said that.
Oh God, I shouldn’t have said that. It’s the last thing James would want her to know.
Life was better when I stuck to being quiet.
It was safe when I didn’t go opening my mouth and expressing my opinions.
I know that. It’s all his fault. He started listening to me and laughing, and I began to think I had something interesting to say.
I don’t. Shut the fuck up, Sadie. Crawl back under your rock.
This will result in an immediate termination.
You were never meant to have a downtown New York life, and you need to remember that.
I lean into her face, channeling Jake. “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll leave me the fuck alone.”
It would be difficult enough having a relationship with James at work, though it’s not against company policy, but now he’s going to hate me until the end of time.
My fingertips were on the edge of a better life, but in no time at all, all my impossible dreams are crashing down around my ears.
And who’s responsible for that? Me. I glance back at the building behind me.
Who’s aware of this? Everyone? Cath, Jo, Roy …
Goddammit, how can I ever go back there?
Before Jane can say another word, I turn around and start running.