Chapter 26
Natalie was determined not to make a big deal of her night with Owen. The thing was, it was huge. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been so nervous. It was silly. Especially since this wasn’t the first time they had slept together.
But it was the first time in years.
She was glad she’d woken to find him gone to take the truck to hide it again. His absence allowed her time to think. Unfortunately, that thinking only made things worse.
A little thrill of excitement filled her stomach when she spotted him on one of the cameras. He let the alert sound, which meant he hadn’t hidden from the cameras like before.
He was giving her time to prepare for his return.
She smoothed her hands over her hair and jumped up, looking around. A glance down at her jeans and shirt made her wish she’d chosen something different, something . . . sexier, maybe. She looked helplessly at her duffle bag of clothes.
“It’s fine,” she told herself. “I’m fine. No reason to be anxious.”
None at all.
Except that she’d slept with the man she wanted to keep at arm’s length.
“Way to go,” she mumbled.
The door to the base opened and Owen came down the steps. He paused when he saw her, a sexy grin tilting the corners of his lips. “Hey.”
“Hey.” Could he be any more gorgeous?
“I got food,” he said and held up the bag with.
She grabbed the bag, suddenly famished. Only then did she realize she hadn’t eaten anything since yesterday at noon. She smiled when she saw the breakfast burritos and quickly gobbled the first egg, bacon, and cheese burrito slathered with picante sauce before reaching for a second.
“I didn’t want to wake you when I left,” he said after he swallowed his bite.
She shrugged and put more picante sauce on her burrito. “It’s fine.”
“I didn’t want to leave that bed.”
Despite telling herself not to gaze into his chocolate eyes, she did just that. But she didn’t know how to respond, not when she was still so mixed up about it all.
“Do you have regrets?”
She swallowed and looked away before she stood. “No. We have needs that must be met.”
“Needs? That’s how you’re going to handle this?” he asked, a hard bite to his words.
“There’s nothing to handle.” She had expected this reaction, but it didn’t make it any better. “We’re consenting adults.”
“Consenting adults.”
Him repeating her words wasn’t a good sign. Especially when his eyes began to narrow. A sure signal that he was getting frustrated or angry—or both.
“That’s right. You don’t have to worry about me having any expectations,” she replied.
“Expectations.”
She inwardly winced. There was no denying the thread of anger in his voice now.
“I want more than last night. I want you,” he stated.
Shit. There went her appetite. It was all out on the table now. The very thing she’d tried to avoid. She should’ve known better with Owen.
He was Mr. Confrontation. If there was an issue, he wanted it talked about right then. There was no putting it off. The problem was, she wasn’t sure how she felt about their night together.
Had it been great? It had been wonderful. Beautiful. Earth-shattering.
But that didn’t mean she wanted a relationship with him. No matter how great it was to be in his arms, it was what happened outside of sex that reminded her how things would be.
She dropped the last half of the second burrito onto the paper and wadded it up. “Please don’t.”
“Is this because I left you after graduation?”
“It has something to do with it, yes.” Natalie blew out a breath. Confrontation, here she came. “I’m in a good place.”
His eyes hardened a fraction. “And you don’t want me in it.”
“It took me years to get over you, and then came my disastrous marriage and subsequent divorce. I don’t want any man,” she declared.
She cleared her throat, giving herself a moment to calm down. The words had come out easier than she expected. She hurriedly—and brutally—tamped down any emotion that favored Owen.
It didn’t matter that he’d touched her so tenderly or brought her such ecstasy. Owen Loughman was bad for her in every way. He’d destroyed her world with one act. It had left her with a scar. It was one only she could see, but it had shaped her life and every decision.
For once, she was being selfish—callous even—by thinking of herself. She wouldn’t put her heart out there again to be trampled upon as if she meant nothing.
She didn’t trust love or the entanglements that came along with relationships. She hadn’t lied. She was in a good place, and intended to remain there.
No amount of charm, seductive drawl, or mind-numbing kisses would change that.
He might know how to play her body to perfection, but Owen was horrendous at handling affairs of the heart. He’d once been selfish, thinking only of himself, uncaring about how his actions would affect her.
It seemed only fair that he was getting a taste of his own medicine.
“Perhaps we turn the subject elsewhere. Irina Matveev,” he said tightly.
She was excited to have a change of topic. It wasn’t as if she could walk away from him. Not now, at least. Her life depended on him. It was better if they could move past things. “What do you have?”
He pointed to the conference room. “Maps of the part of downtown Dallas we’ll be in.”
She rose and walked into the room to see the table covered by maps and detailed plans of multiple escape routes.
Just what time had he gotten up?
“As I said yesterday, we’ll have several alternative means of getting away if the Russians attack. Whether they work for Irina or not, we need to be prepared,” he explained, coming up beside her.
“I see that,” she said as she noted the different routes in various colors.
“Learn the maps inside and out. You need to be able to know which one to take at a second’s notice.” He held up a tiny, flesh-colored device. “This will be in your ear, and I’ll talk to you through it.”
Natalie took the earpiece. “Will I be able to talk to you, as well?”
“I’ll hear you and those close to you, so yes, I’ll be able to answer.”
That made her feel a little better. She looked at the maps. “Where will you be?”
He circled an area with his finger. “This is where you’ll intersect with Irina. I’ll be here.”
She followed the line of his finger to a building that would have direct line of sight to her.
“The sixteenth floor is under renovation for a law firm that’s moving in. I’ll set up there and keep watch.”
“It looks like a good vantage point. If we have to take the red, blue, or purple escape routes, you’ll be right there.”
Owen tapped the map where he’d be watching. “Even if we must use the yellow, green, or orange routes, I’ll still be able to get to you here,” he said and pointed to a location two blocks away.
If there had been even a smidgen of doubt as to Owen being qualified to keep her alive, that was now gone. She listened as he explained how she would get away from Irina or anyone else, where she could hide, and the places where they could meet up depending on which escape plan was used.
One strategy had them going into the drainage ditches. Another had them using public transportation to “blend” in. There were several others she would need to memorize, as well. The truck would be waiting for them to make their final exit from Dallas and return to the ranch.
When Owen finished going over things thirty minutes later, she pulled out a chair and sat. “What do Wyatt and Cullen think of this?”
“Wyatt doesn’t think we should do it alone. I’ve not been able to get ahold of Cullen.”
She rocked back in the chair. “And you think all of us need to stay apart?”
“Callie has confirmed that Cullen was seen at Dover AFB in Delaware. He should’ve met up with Mia by now and be tracking their own leads. Wyatt is attempting to keep up with Callie, who is following a clue she has yet to share with him.”
She blew out a breath, nodding. “And we’ve got our thing. It’s going to take all of us to find Orrin.”
“And stop the hit on you,” he added.
How could she forget that? “And that, as well.”
He stared at the map for a long moment. Just when she thought he had nothing more to say, he lifted one of the maps and pulled out a picture frame hidden beneath.
She leaned forward to see it was a family photo of the Loughmans when Melanie was still alive. It must have been taken months before her death, and by the genuine smiles everyone wore, they had been a happy family.
“Dad kept this down here in his office,” Owen said.
She raised her eyes to him. “Why wouldn’t he? It’s his family. Despite losing his wife and his sons ignoring him, this was a time when everything was going right.”
“You mean when we were happy.”
“Yes.”
He drew in a deep breath and slowly released it as he looked around the base. “I still recall the day we came home from school in a torrential rainstorm. There was a smell I didn’t recognize about the place. It’s burned into my memory, though. It was the smell of death.”
Her gut clenched because Owen never spoke of his mother’s murder. None of the Loughmans did. It was forbidden and completely off-limits to everyone. So she wasn’t sure why he was telling her now.
“Wyatt ran to the barn and grabbed the rifles while I hid Cullen. Even at ten years old, I knew something wasn’t right. Everything was too quiet. I know it sounds weird, but it felt as if the elements were in an uproar.”
Her eyes burned with unshed tears. She fought to keep them from falling as she listened.
Owen looked down at the table. “I cocked the shotgun and trailed Wyatt into the house. We followed the smell up the stairs. The storm ceased suddenly, and the quiet was eerie.”
He paused, and she saw his hands grip the edge of the table so tightly his knuckles turned white. It was everything she could do not to reach over and touch him, to offer comfort.
“We found Mom in her room, lying on the bed. At first, we thought she was sleeping. Then we walked closer and saw her eyes open, staring at the ceiling.”
She clasped her hands together in her lap. Then drew in a shuddering breath, blinking rapidly. Her heart hurt to think of a ten-year-old Owen finding his mother in such a way.
“I still see the vivid bruising around her neck from the strangulation in my dreams sometimes.” His eyes slid to her. “I stood guard over Mom while Wyatt checked the rest of the house and the barns. Then we kept Cullen from seeing anything by sending him to the neighbors’ for help.”
The “neighbors’” was a house miles down the road.
“He rode one of the stallions, who was a handful, but the fastest horse on the ranch. Cullen didn’t argue about us getting the horse ready for him.
He held on with a death grip and wide eyes.
The stallion seemed to know something was wrong.
He didn’t fight the bit or the saddle as he usually did.
He stood still as stone while Cullen used the fence to climb on him. Then they took off in a flash.”
A tear escaped and rolled down her cheek. Everyone in the small town knew of Melanie’s murder, but all she’d ever heard were rumors. She supposed that the only ones who knew this part of the story were the brothers.
For a long moment, Owen stared at her in silence.
Then he blinked, as if remembering what he was doing.
“The police finally arrived. Wyatt and I were quickly shoved out of the way. Cullen remained at the neighbors’, which was for the best. I still think how odd it was that everyone who entered the house whispered.
I thought it was because of us, but now I know it was because of Mom. ”
Natalie had met Mrs. Loughman several times at school functions.
Melanie had been a beautiful, kind woman, who always had a smile on her face and time to spare for anyone who needed it.
She never missed an event with her boys, and she was always ready with a hug and a kiss for them, no matter if they wanted it or not.
She was one of those rare people who didn’t have an enemy.
Owen dropped his chin to his chest. “There was no blood, but death doesn’t need such displays to leave its mark.
We were sitting on the porch steps when Dad arrived.
He’d been on his way home on leave. The storm raged again.
The lightning was horrible, and the rain torrential.
He ran past us and into the house, not even seeing us.
He was looking for Mom, but they’d already taken her body. ”
She hastily wiped away another couple of tears that escaped.
“It took six deputies to restrain him. He broke the sheriff’s nose and someone else’s arm.
” Owen grew quiet, contemplative for a moment.
“There are some things I’ll never forget about that day.
The quiet, the smell of death, the sight of my mom with the bruises.
And the sound of my father’s grief as he bellowed her name over and over again. ”
By this time, she couldn’t hold back the tears. They flowed freely. She sniffed quietly, unable to move, her gaze locked on Owen.
He lifted his head and reached over to wipe at the tears on one of her cheeks.
“Just a few days ago, I arrived to that same stillness, that same smell of death. The difference was, there was blood this time. Lots of it. Death had once more left its mark on this house, and it was ghastly and horrific. I lost two more members of my family. Then they went after you. I tell you all this, Nat, so you’ll understand why I need you safe.
Why I will do whatever it takes to keep those men from getting to you.
Because I can’t lose anyone else. Especially you. ”
She blinked, her throat clogged with emotion too thick to work through. With no words available, she put her hand atop his and squeezed.
He stood straight and gazed at her with his dark brown eyes. “I’m not going to let them near you.”
“I know you won’t.”
His word wasn’t something Owen gave lightly, and once you had it, it was as binding as a vow.
He turned and walked from the conference room to the armory. She stood on shaky legs and made her way to the sleeping quarters before she sank onto her bed and buried her head in her hands as she cried.
Now that she knew details of Melanie Loughman’s murder, as well as Wyatt’s and Owen’s involvement, she cried even harder. The boys had suffered so much.
It explained a lot about the Loughmans.
Especially Owen.