Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
“Lady Katherine,” Cillian said sharply as she pushed herself free from his grasp. He took a few steps after her, not letting her get too far away. “He is better left alone for now. Give him time.”
“Nay,” Katherine said, her voice barely above a whisper as she hurried down the corridor after Liam.
She didn’t look back, ignoring Cillian’s protests.
He wasn’t looking at the emotional aspect of the loss that Liam had just suffered.
Even though there was no one nearby to hear her any longer, she spoke aloud. “I ken grief.”
Liam’s outburst didn’t surprise her in the slightest. He didn’t seem like the type of man who could handle emotions other than anger and annoyance. Even with his own daughter, warmth didn’t come easily though he did try. Admittedly, Katherine had to prompt him to interact with her more positively.
That doesnae mean that he should suffer through this alone. Nae one should have to navigate this on their own.
The corridors were empty, with most of the castle’s inhabitants in their chambers and asleep. She only passed by two servants being led down the hallway by the castle’s healer; the three of them were engaged in a tense conversation she couldn’t hear. It wasn’t difficult to guess the subject matter.
The hour was far too late for anyone else to be awake.
A few minutes later, she arrived outside of Liam’s quarters, the one he’d been staying in rather than their shared chambers.
The door was hanging half-open, almost as if he’d attempted to slam it closed and it bounced away from the lock.
She paused, watching as he paced, picking things up and putting them down with force that bordered on excessive.
There were already broken objects strewn in the corners of the room.
Of course, he’s lookin’ for an outlet. This is nae surprisin’. I just hope he doesnae turn his anger towards me.
She took a deep breath, steadying herself before entering the room.
His outburst of anger and frustration wouldn’t deter her.
At first, he didn’t seem to notice her presence, grabbing a book and flipping through its pages before throwing it onto the floor.
When he turned, the fire in his eyes burned even brighter, and his entire body coiled.
She raised her hands in front of her, palms open to show she wasn’t a threat.
Her heart pounded wildly in her chest as he stared at her. For a moment, time seemed to stop. She wasn’t sure what would happen, and a part of her brain seemed to scream at her to run, but she refused to listen, even if it felt like instinctual self-preservation.
“Ye are too bold,” he snapped, his hands curling into fists at his sides. He stalked forward, clearly trying to frighten her. “What makes ye think that ye can just walk in here uninvited? Do ye nae understand that I daenae want ye here?”
The statement stung, coming down like a hard slap against her cheek.
Katherine didn’t back down though, not letting Liam intimidate her out of the room.
Lady Agnes had said that he wouldn’t touch her, and she truly believed that.
Raising her chin defiantly, Katharine said, “I willnae sit by as ye allow this to harden ye into somethin’ ye arenae. ”
“How do ye ken that I will become somethin’ I am nae?” he challenged, taking another step toward her. His chest rose and fell sharply. The curve of his mouth was severe and pinched. “Ye daenae ken me mind well enough. I could already be somethin’ that ye believe I amnae.”
“It’s nae because I daenae wish to ken yer mind,” Katherine said softly, refusing to let him get under her skin. “It is because ye willnae allow it.”
He’s hurtin’. He’s hurtin’ so much more than he’s lettin’ me see.
“Ye would be better off if ye stopped pokin’ around,” he said, making himself seem even larger.
His shoulders were squared, and it was almost as if he became taller.
He was using his massive size against her as if he could make her run.
Even though he towered over her, she didn’t move away.
She couldn’t. “Ye’re nae here to advise me.
Ye are here to give me daughter lessons. ”
Katherine stepped closer, her heart clenching. She could see his pain. It went much deeper than just the loss of his grandmother. That was simply the event that broke him. Whatever else he had swirling in his heart was compounding, growing heavier, more difficult to ignore.
It seemed to be bursting out of him, finding every crack that it could as it demanded to make itself known.
“I ken,” she said, modulating her tone carefully, “but I am nae a stranger to what ye’re feelin’.”
For a long, terrible moment, she thought that he’d pick her up and physically remove her.
Instead, he glared down the line of his nose at her.
Somehow, he grew even taller. His entire being radiated a kind of fury that scared her.
Her heart pounded in her chest, the sound almost deafening to her own eardrums.
“Leave,” he ordered, his voice practically a growl. The room seemed to shake with the force of his command. “Now.”
Katherine didn’t flinch at the sound. The anger needed to come out. If she had to be the one to absorb it, she would. He wouldn’t hurt her. And even if he did, she was glad to be the person absorbing the blow.
“Ye can let it out,” she said, keeping her tone soft and even. She was careful not to sound condescending or pitying. She wouldn’t let him see any of her fright. “Let it out.”
* * *
Liam’s muscles tensed as Katherine took another slow step toward him. He wasn’t sure if she was brave or reckless, but it was likely a mix of both. When she paused just an inch away, he concluded she must not care much about her safety.
“Daenae,” he said through gritted teeth. “Daenae ye dare.”
Her gaze didn’t leave his, and it was so infuriatingly soft that the anger in his chest flared with indignity.
It wasn’t directed at her, though. If anything, the complicated knot of thoughts in his mind became even more entangled.
His misplaced fury wrapped around the ball of emotions like barbs.
They would ensnare anyone who tried to touch them.
Katherine didn’t listen, her fingers slowly reaching out to brush against his bicep, unafraid of getting pricked.
He was so taken aback by the gentle touch that he didn’t pull away, the storm in his mind going blissfully quiet for a beat.
Even when she pressed her palm against him, the heat of it radiating into his skin through his doublet, he stiffened further.
“Let it all out,” she repeated, apparently taking his stillness as an invitation to wrap her arms around him. “Ye have permission.”
Liam almost laughed, the gesture and her words making him feel hysterical. The way she moved, pressing herself solidly against him, letting him feel the steady rise and fall of her chest, was an overwhelming juxtaposition to the storm inside. Yet she was telling him to unleash that anger.
If I let it out, I’ll burn the Highlands. I’ll set the sea ablaze. There willnae be any survivors.
Suddenly, like a flash of lightning across the night sky, a rush of awareness shot through him. His fingers tangled in her hair, pulling her head back roughly and forcing her to face him. Every part of his body burned, and she only fueled the fire.
Katherine’s eyes widened, her throat working as she swallowed sharply. She winced, a subtle hitch of her breath the only evidence that she was affected. In response, his palm clenched tighter.
“Let it all out?” he demanded, only loosening his grip when a choked noise left the back of her throat. He’d pushed too far. “What could ye possibly ken about a loss like this?”
Her face remained unchanging, no fear nor disgust. Even the pain he expected her to show wasn’t there. Instead, her lips parted slightly, her mouth opening before closing again, either with words she hadn’t yet spoken or an unconscious response to being so close to him.
His gaze fixed on those pretty pink lips that were way too close. The air around them hummed with something intoxicating. His mind reeled, her scent so vivid. It blanked out everything else. She cleared every other thought from his mind.
If she would like me to let it all out, then that’s exactly what I will do.
His lips crashed into hers, claiming her with a sweeping slide of his tongue, the gesture desperate in its execution.
Katherine squeaked in his arms before she responded with more pressure.
It was a surprised exploration, as if her body were reacting to him without conscious thought.
As he growled, he tried pulling her in closer, his fingers tightening in her hair and his hand finding the curve of her elbow.
Before Liam could bring her fully against him, her hands found his chest, and she pushed away with surprising strength.
“Nay,” she said, pulling in long, ragged breaths. She put several inches between the two of them, jerking her head back to dislodge his hand. His fingers went limp at her defiance, her rejection. “Ye need to grieve. This isnae what I meant.”
The force of her palms and her movements was a shock, enough to knock him out of the spell her proximity had cast on him. Anger and frustration returned even stronger than before, but this time it was more focused on himself than anyone else.
“Get out!” he roared, putting even more space between them.
His touch was the reason he’d lost his first wife, the reason she had suffered so greatly.
He wouldn’t repeat that mistake again. He pointed at the door.
“I willnae touch ye again. I cannae touch ye again. I swore it to meself, I took a vow, and I willnae break it because of ye.”
Katherine stood, wide-eyed and frozen in place. Lady Agnes’ final words echoed in his head. He knew, though, that if he were going to keep his promise and look after Agnes and Katherine, he needed to maintain the distance.
It is the only way I can keep them safe. Wantin’ her nearby is serves only me own wretched desires.
“Leave!” he yelled, his voice rising in volume. If this wing of the castle had more inhabitants, he might have been concerned about waking them. “Now!”
Katherine finally snapped out of her stupor.
She took several steps back, keeping her gaze fixed on him as if she were afraid he might lash out physically once more.
Then, she turned on her heel and ran away.
He followed her, grabbing the door and slamming it shut, making sure the latch clicked into place.
Pressing his forehead against the solid wood, Liam shut his eyes so tightly that stars bloomed against his lids.
He sucked air into his lungs, breathing out Katherine’s presence with each exhale.
When he felt less like he was going to rip the castle apart stone by stone, he stood up straight once more.
His quarters were a wreck, a glass broken in the corner, the book he’d thrown just before Katherine walked in lying open. With a harsh sigh, he set to work clearing the worst of the destruction, and as he did, he cursed Katherine for following him.
And he cursed himself for forcing her to leave.
* * *
Katherine practically ran to her chambers, her entire body shaking with the kind of terror she hadn’t felt since living with her father. While Liam may not have raised his hand to her, he’d been rough.
He’s grievin’. He doesnae ken how to handle it. I pushed much too far.
The sound of her lock engaging felt painfully loud. She wanted to make herself as small as possible. She’d never been one to hide, but her confusion was so intense that she needed to be alone. Liam’s strength was frightening, yet the way he’d kissed her was nothing short of terrifying.
“What did he mean?” she asked as if the empty room were capable of answering. “I ken he wasnae speakin’ about the vow he made to me.”
She stripped off the robe that she’d draped over her shoulders when she’d been summoned to Lady Agnes’s chambers. It wasn’t clear to her why she’d been amongst those called. Her connection with Lady Agnes was special to her, but surely, she couldn’t have been that significant in the woman’s life.
And she had already spoken to me. I think she kent then that it would be the last moment we shared alone.
“Wouldnae it be better for wee Agnes to have been awoken?” she muttered, walking over to the hearth and settling in front of the fire. She let the heat ground her, forcing her consciousness firmly into her body. “If anyone were to need more time with Lady Agnes, would it nae be her?”
As she stared into the flames licking up the sooty stone, she realized that she was never meant to speak with Lady Agnes one last time. She and Cillian had been called for Liam. In her last moments, the clan’s matriarch had been looking out for her grandson.
“Surely there’s something he’s nay tellin’ me,” she murmured, putting her hands out to warm her chilled fingers. “He’s let it turn into anger, and now, he’s takin’ it out on me. I daenae deserve that.”