Chapter 14
Parker
Ihide away in the cabin the rest of the day, like the coward I am. When Blair and Jules return after dinner with leftover pizza for me, I can’t seem to look at Jules.
We almost kissed this morning. I’m sure of it.
The way she was looking at me? I knew she wanted to.
I wanted to. If Blair hadn’t come in and interrupted…
I can’t let myself think about that. It already feels like a gut punch knowing how close I was to knowing what she tastes like, knowing how her lips feel against mine.
I’m already dying from knowing how it felt to wake up with her in my arms. A kiss would have destroyed me.
“Want to watch another movie?” Jules asks, plopping on the mattress still in the middle of the room. But I don’t know if I can handle a repeat of last night.
“I’m kind of tired,” I say. “I was hoping to get to bed earlier tonight since we have the polar plunge tomorrow and everything. But I can help you move the bed back to your room.”
“I am not letting you sleep on the couch again,” she says, her eyes soft. They’re melting me. I tried—not very hard, but still—to keep my heart locked up, and she broke down the walls faster than I could even blink.
“He can have the twin bed again,” Blair cuts in, and I want to fall at her feet in gratitude. “I’m feeling better now, but let’s keep the bed out here. I want to watch something tonight.”
“Okay,” Jules says, watching for my reaction.
“Sounds good,” I say, hoping I look and sound normal and not like I feel. All of this is awkward. I’m making it awkward. The best thing for me to do right now is to go to bed. Maybe everything will be back to normal in the morning. “Sleep well, ladies.”
“Night,” Blair says, plopping down onto the mattress beside Jules, who’s still watching me.
“Night,” I say. Jules looks like she wants to say something, but time stretches and she looks away. With that, I head into my room and shut the door.
Her scent isn’t as strong in here, since she hasn’t spent much time in this room.
I’m grateful for it, but also mad at myself.
I should have said yes to a movie, just to spend more time with her.
This is probably the last time I’ll ever get to spend time like this with her.
Soon, she’ll be back in DC and will probably meet a nice man who can make all her wishes come true. And it won’t be me.
I twist the knob. Screw it, I’m going to enjoy every second I can with the woman who’s had my heart since I was fifteen. I pull open the door, stepping back in surprise when I find Jules standing in front of it.
“Thought you might want this.” She holds out my phone. “Guess you realized you didn’t have it.”
“Uh, yeah.” I swallow. No. This is all going wrong. “Thanks.”
I take the phone from her, our fingers brushing. Her eyes snap to mine. Does she feel the same jolt of electricity I do when our fingers touch? I don’t try to pull my phone away, and she doesn’t let go. It feels like we’re in some sort of weird limbo and I hate it.
I take a step closer. “Night, Jules.”
“Sleep well,” she says, letting go of the phone. The loss of her hand next to mine hits like a low blow. But then she steps forward, closing the distance between us as she wraps her arms around me, her head resting on my chest.
I hug her tightly, gently pressing my lips against her hair. “You too.”
She steps back, cheeks pink, then nods once before turning and walking back down the hallway to where my sister waits for her.
“Are we really going to do this?” I stare out at the icy water and shiver. Both Blair and Jules look at me.
“We’re doing this,” they say in unison. But neither of them move to take off their coats and warm clothes.
There is a huge group of people gathered around the small lake that sits behind the resort.
Some have already run and jumped into the freezing cold water and are wrapped in towels and sipping the hot chocolate that’s promised to each of us once we complete the tortuous challenge.
It’s mid-afternoon and theoretically warmer than it was this morning, but it’s still too chilly for a swim.
“Why do people even do this?” I grumble. My face is already freezing from the bitter cold wind, and getting in the water? That’s not going to help anything.
“It makes them feel alive,” Blair says, peeling off her coat. I don’t miss how she shivers as a gust of wind blows through. Several people cry out from the cold.
“I already feel alive.”
“You promised.” Jules’s words have me moving faster than anything else could.
“Let’s get this over with then.” I pull off my sweatshirt, and I can’t help but notice that Jules stares at my bare chest. I shuck my pants, revealing my bright neon-green swim trunks, which make her start laughing.
“What on earth? Those are blinding against the snow,” she says, cackling.
“So? A man can’t have a little bit of color in his life?” The color is truly obnoxious and opposite of what I usually wear, but when I saw them in the store over the summer, I had to have them.
Blair still hasn’t moved and watches us, shivering. I turn my attention to her. “You coming, Sis?”
“Yup, just waiting until the last possible second to expose all of my skin to the cold.”
Juliet’s coat falls to the ground beside mine. She slips off her sweats and pulls her hoodie over her head, and I burst out laughing, doubling over. Her one-piece swimsuit is the exact same color as my trunks.
“You made fun of the color of my suit when it’s the same as yours?” I gasp.
“It was from the Odette Finley collection, right?” she says. “I love her stuff; it has so much color. And I love that she makes clothes for everyone.”
I nod, still laughing.
“It’s insanely bright and I love it.” She shivers. “And I’m freezing. Let’s do this.”
She holds out a hand to me, which I gladly take, loving the feeling of her warm hand in mine.
Then she holds out her other hand to Blair, who’s ready, standing in her dark gray swimsuit.
Together, we run into the water. Jules stops short as soon as her feet touch the icy water.
Without thinking, I grab her, pulling her into my arms and dragging us both into the frigid water, pulling us under.
It’s a shock to the system and as we come up for air, I feel like I can’t breathe. Jules wraps her arms around my neck, her entire body shaking from the cold. “Worth it?” I gasp.
Her eyes drop to my lips. “Yeah.”
I pull her closer against me, but with the freezing water surrounding us, there’s no way we’re going to warm up unless we get out. “Let’s get you warm.”
She nods in agreement, and only lets go of me when I’m closer to the shore and she can stand on her own. Blair is close behind us. We run to the volunteers who have towels for each of us and wrap the thick, warm fabric around our freezing bodies.
We hobble toward the large tent that’s been set up to help block out the wind so we can get our hot chocolate.
Once we do, I look around the space to find a seat.
There are some tables set up, but mostly there are just benches.
I find an almost empty one and tug on Jules’s towel with my free hand. “This way.”
Shivering, we sit on the cold bench. “Where’s Blair?” Her teeth chatter as she asks. I look around the space and spot Blair talking to an athlete at a nearby table.
“Over there.” I point, taking a sip of my hot chocolate.
The warm liquid fills me with warmth and I take another sip, careful not to burn my tongue by drinking too much at a time.
Jules is shaking beside me. I open up my towel.
“Come here.” She curls into me, and I wrap my towel around the both of us.
I’m not super warm, but I’ve got to be warmer than her.
She’s got muscle, but she’s still a tiny thing.
We sip our hot chocolate in silence, snuggled together on the bench. Life can’t get better than this.
I nearly jump from shock when her icy fingers touch my thigh. “You have a tattoo?”
I look down to see part of my tattoo peeking out from the bottom of my swim trunks. “I do.”
“What is it?” she asks, tracing the number one that she can see. I set my hot chocolate on the bench beside me, then tug my shorts up a little, revealing my tattoo.
“11:11?” she asks quietly.
I didn’t get the tattoo because of her—not really.
I got it because when I was eighteen, I felt like I needed all the wishes I could get, all the luck in the world.
“I wanted a physical reminder that hey, life isn’t all bad, and if I took time to make a wish, then my mind had to pause for a second, forget whatever I was spiraling over for a moment, and be present.
I wanted to have those numbers on my skin to help ground me when nothing else would.
I picked my thigh so no one else would see it but me, and having to move my shorts a little so that I could see it would also help ground me in reality.
A tiny reminder to make a wish whenever I needed one.
To stay present while also dreaming of the future. ”
She traces the numbers with her finger. “I love that.”
“Make a wish,” I whisper in her ear. I want to tell her that far too many times, I’ve wished for her. Not always for her and me to end up together, but I’d wish for her happiness, or for her to have a good day.
With her hand still on my thigh, she looks up at me, leaning closer.
Our breath mingles as her nose brushes against mine.
Can she feel how fast my heart is pounding?
All it would take is for either of us to move ever so slightly, and we’d be kissing.
In this tent full of people, I’d be kissing Juliet Morgan.
“Well, isn’t this nice.” A booming voice, which was already annoying to me but that I’m really starting to hate, sounds over us. Jules ducks into me, her face against my bare chest, and I look at Axel.
“What do you want?” I growl.
“Her.”
Jules stiffens and my grip on her tightens.
“She’s not some prize to be won,” I spit out. “Jules is a person, free to choose who she wants to be with, and she’s made her choice. If you don’t leave her alone, we’re going to have a big problem.”
He makes no effort to move away; instead he simply scowls at us. “Looks like she’s got a man who does all the talking for her.”
Juliet pushes off of me, standing to her full height, getting up in his face as much as possible. “I’m going to say this one last time, loud and clear. You and I are done. We have been for months. Leave. Me. Alone.”
His eyes flare, but he takes a step back. “You’re going to regret this.”
She folds her arms across her chest. “I won’t.”
He curses before storming off.
Blair appears with an armful of our clothes, which Juliet grabs and starts putting her pants on. She’s furious. I am too.
“What happened?” Blair asks.
“Nothing worth repeating,” Jules says. “Nothing worth remembering.”
“Are you okay?” Blair asks her.
Her eyes meet mine, and some of the fury softens. “I will be.”