Chapter 9
CHAPTER NINE
EVA
“Sleep. Go. To. Sleep.” I punched my pillow and flopped onto my back. The bedroom was pitch black as I yawned. But did sleep come? Nope. Not even a wink. The last time I’d checked my phone, it had been after midnight.
I should have hit the pillow and crashed. My day had been long and exhausting. Avoiding Tobias had been harder than the boot camp I’d taken a few years ago in Denver. Plus I’d slept like crap last night too, tossing and turning until Tobias had finally come home. Most of my sleepless hours had been spent wondering if he’d been with Chelsea. Freaking Chelsea. That was going to rub me like sandpaper for a long, long time.
Thank God, he’d been at his brother’s.
After all that stress, I should have slept straight until eight. Instead, I’d been lying here for hours replaying Tobias’s words from earlier.
He just wanted me to be happy.
Was I happy? I hadn’t asked myself that question lately. Maybe because I was scared of the answer .
I was mostly happy. I was happy in my job. I loved my job, almost every day. Sure, my personal life was a little dull. I moved too often to have best friends. But that was what Elena was for. Okay, so we didn’t have nearly enough in common to be best friends. Our independent personalities often clashed, but I loved my sister.
The closest I’d ever had to a best friend was Tobias.
And he wanted me to be happy.
“Well, is he happy that I can’t sleep and it’s all his fault?” I jammed an elbow into the mattress and pushed myself up. “Ugh.”
Maybe if he’d stop kissing me, I could get some sleep.
My mind was spinning and my body was strung as tight as a rubber band, about to snap. And damn it, this was all Tobias’s fault.
He’d worked me into this turned-on, fidgeting, hormonal mess.
I whipped the covers off my legs and climbed out of bed. The cool air brought goose bumps to my arms and legs as I walked out of the bedroom and down the hall toward the couch. Maybe a Hallmark movie would lull me into dreamland.
But as I reached the kitchen, my path veered toward his bedroom. Toward the soft white glow coming from beneath his door.
I held my breath, creeping closer until I could lean my ear against the frame. The sound of rustled sheets and muted huffs brought a smile to my lips. I guess I wasn’t the only one not sleeping.
We could talk. Why wait until tomorrow if we were both awake? So I rapped my knuckles on the door and turned the knob.
Tobias sat up straighter as I stepped inside. His nightstand lamp was on and a book dangled from his fingers. His chest was bare, all of that glorious muscle on display. His hair was sticking up at odd angles.
He looked . . . like my dreamland.
“You kissed me and now I can’t sleep.”
He tossed the book aside, his gaze tracking my every step as I rounded the foot of his bed.
I went straight for the lamp, flipping the switch to bathe the room in darkness. Then my hand found the center of his chest, the dusting of coarse hair that felt like sin against the steel of his body. With one slight push, his shoulders relaxed into the pillows.
Tobias’s hands came to my thighs, skimming the scalloped hem of my sleep shorts. “Eva.”
“You kissed me and now I can’t sleep,” I repeated, straddling his lap. My core rocked against the growing arousal beneath the sheet. “Kiss me again. Please.”
He surged to capture my mouth. No questions. No hesitation. No foreplay. Tobias kissed me like I was the air in his lungs, the reason he survived. His tongue fluttering against my own as his hands lifted the sides of my top.
He bunched the cotton in his fists, lifting it higher and higher, tearing his mouth away for only the briefest moment to whip the tank over my head. Then his hands found my breasts, and my God, he was good with his hands.
Cupping. Squeezing. Rolling. My nipples were his personal instruments and he played them like a symphony.
My hips rolled against his, grinding and rubbing. I held his face to mine, his thick beard lightly scraping against my palms. The throb in my core bloomed. “Fuck me, Tobias.”
He growled against my lips. Then with one fast move, he flipped me onto my back, pushing my knees apart. His deft fingers slipped beneath my shorts, pulling my panties aside, to stroke my glistening folds .
“Yes,” I hissed as he latched on to my pulse and sucked. “More.”
He kicked and shoved at the sheets, and as my hand traveled down his spine, I found nothing but skin. Tobias hadn’t slept naked in college, but like the beard, I’d gladly take this change.
A finger slid into my core, curling toward the ache. Except it wasn’t enough. I needed more. I needed him.
“Inside.” I reached between us, fisting his shaft. Velvet and iron. Hot and hard. “Come inside.”
“Not yet.”
“Tobias—”
“Not. Yet.” Each word was accentuated with the plunge of his finger. “I want to feel your pussy like this. Then with my tongue. Then I’ll give you my cock.”
He made good on his promise, working me into a frenzy with his hand before tearing off my shorts and panties. Then he dragged that glorious beard against the tender flesh of my inner thighs.
I hummed, my eyes falling closed, as a shudder raced through my veins. My hand found his silky, dark hair. My fingertips tangled into the strands as he did that tongue flutter, this time against my clit.
“Tobias.” I moaned his name, over and over, as his mouth continued its delicious torture. A lick. A nip. A suck. My breath came in hitched gasps as he feasted until I trembled, head to toe.
My back arched off the bed, writhing as he held my hips in place. I was seconds away from a blinding release, just one more lick, when he disappeared.
He leaned away, looming above me on his knees. Moonlight streamed through the window, casting his body in light and shadow. The cut of his biceps. The peaks and valleys of his chest. The ripples of his abdomen.
Tobias was magnificent. He was mine.
He’d always been mine, even when I’d let him go.
I stretched a hand for his. He took it, lacing our fingers together, and raised it above his head. Then his lips crashed down on mine, and with one swift thrust, he planted deep.
I whimpered down his throat. I trembled beneath his strokes. Thrust after thrust, he held me captive until I had nothing left to do but fall. The orgasm shook my body in waves as I clenched around him.
“Fuck, babe.” He gritted his teeth, his rhythm never slowing, as I rode out the aftershocks and let the stars fade from behind my eyes.
The sound of skin slapping, of heavy breaths and racing hearts, echoed in the room. Then he reared up, taking my knees, and holding me to him as he came, pouring inside me on a roar.
He came undone. Entirely. For me.
Tobias panted, taking a few moments to regain his breath. Then he ran a hand over his mouth before bending to kiss my cheek. “Damn. That was... it’s always better. Every time.”
“I know,” I whispered, rising to kiss his mouth.
No one would compare to Tobias. Maybe that was why I’d never wanted another man. I didn’t need experience to know, in my soul, that I’d already had the best.
He shifted and broke our connection, then curled my back into his chest.
“I can go back to my room,” I said, hoping he wouldn’t let me go.
Hoping he’d ask me to stay.
But he didn’t voice the word. He never had. Instead, he held me closer and dragged the blankets over our naked bodies. “Good night, Eva.”
I closed my eyes. “Good night, Tobias.”
“Knock, knock.” I tapped on Dad’s door and peered into his apartment.
He was in his recliner, asleep as the TV’s muted volume did its best to drown out the sound of his snores.
I eased the door closed behind me and tiptoed into the room, taking up a seat on the couch.
Dad deserved to rest. He deserved mid-morning naps on New Year’s Eve. And because of my job, he could have them.
So I took out my phone and played a trivia game while I waited. Or I tried to play a trivia game. Mostly I thought about last night with Tobias.
We hadn’t spoken much this morning. I’d woken first, slipping out of his bed and heading to the shower. When I’d found him in the kitchen later, he’d been dressed for the day in a pair of jeans and a navy flannel.
He’d had work to do at the office, but he’d promised to be home by dinner. Then we’d celebrate New Year’s, assuming I could stay awake until midnight.
I had a feeling that he’d make sure I saw fireworks.
After an hour, Dad’s snoring stopped and his eyes fluttered open.
“Hi, Dad.” I smiled.
“Eva.” He blinked twice, then hit the button on the chair to sit up straighter. “Sorry. I didn’t know you were here.”
“It’s okay. I don’t mind hanging out.”
He smiled, the crooked smile I’d grown used to these past three years. “Last day? ”
“Yep.” I nodded. “Last day.”
“I’m sure gonna miss you. I’ve been spoiled having you here so long this time. Did you see Elena?”
“I went over yesterday. And I’ll miss you too.” I opened my mouth to tell him I had news. That I was having a baby. But the announcement lodged in my throat.
Dad was a practical man. He’d taught us to love schedules and routine. As kids, the kitchen calendar had been marked with all of Mom’s travel dates so we’d know where she was going and when she’d be home.
He’d ask questions about the baby. About how Tobias and I were going to handle parenting and if I’d keep doing my job.
If I was going to give him a string of I don’t knows , we’d better get some food first.
“I was thinking we could go grab lunch,” I said.
“Sure.” He reached for his cane, pushing to his feet and taking a moment to get his balance.
We decided on a café in town, one I hadn’t been to yet. We took our seats in a booth, ordered soup and sandwiches, then sipped our waters as we waited for our meals.
“So you’re off again,” Dad said, toying with his napkin.
“Yep.” It was always difficult to leave Montana, but today, there was more bitter than sweet.
“Any idea when you can take a quick trip home to visit?”
“I’m not sure yet. Maybe in a month or two? Once I get there and get caught up on the build, I’ll have a better idea.”
“And what are you building this time?”
“A fulfillment center.”
“Ah.” He nodded. “Big?”
“Not as big as most. The logistics have been tricky. And the clients are, er... particular. But I’m up for the challenge.”
“Of course you are.” He grinned. “My girl never backs away from a challenge. ”
Was that why I was going? Because I was too stubborn to back away? Or because I genuinely liked the work?
“Can I ask you something about Mom?”
“Yeah. Go ahead.” He nodded but there was tension in his shoulders. A tension I’d seen my entire life when Mom was brought into the conversation.
“Do you think I’m like her?” It was the question I’d wanted to ask for years but hadn’t had the courage.
“You mean the travel?”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“No.” He chuckled. “Not in the slightest.”
“R-really?” Because when I looked in the mirror, I saw the similarities.
“Eva, your mom traveled to escape her life. Maybe it was because of me. We were never friends. I think she learned early on that when she came home, it wasn’t to her house, but to mine. We didn’t talk. We didn’t laugh. We just coexisted. And I hate that you girls paid the price for our indifference.”
My heart twisted, not for us, but for them. I knew what it was like to be in love with your best friend. Pure magic.
“Probably shouldn’t be telling you this, but when you were two, we talked about a divorce,” he said. “Michelle was worried that if she couldn’t at least come home to you and Elena, you’d forget about her completely. So we worked out our arrangement. We agreed to stick it out until you graduated.”
“That couldn’t have been easy,” I said.
“I’ve got a lot of pent-up resentment toward your mother. It wasn’t easy and I guess... I think she could have tried harder to be home. To be a part of your lives. Instead, she took every trip they’d give her. She ran away from anything that resembled being tied down.”
“Isn’t that what I’m doing?” Guilt crept into my voice.
“Not even close.” He stretched his good arm across the table, his hand covering mine. “You run and run and run. You take every task thrown your way and crush it like an empty pop can, destined for the recycling bin. But when you’re ready to stop, you stop.”
Was I ready to stop? It was coming. I felt fatigued, more and more each move.
“Mom was here a few days ago,” I admitted.
“I know,” he muttered. “She came to see me.”
“What? She did? I didn’t realize you kept in touch.”
“Not often. But when she’s in town, she stops by. We talk about you. We talk about Elena. She gets the details about you, a lot like she used to when you were younger. Then she goes on her way.”
Acquaintances. That was how Mom lived her life, with acquaintances.
He gave me a sad smile. “For a long time, I wished that Michelle would just... love us. Love me. But I realized something years ago. She’s not built to love deep. It’s not in her makeup. But it is in yours.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat, trying my best not to cry. “I hope you’re right.”
“Oh, I’m right.” He picked up his spoon. “How’s Tobias?”
I shook my head, letting out a dry laugh. Well played, Dad. “He’s good. I, um, I actually have something important to tell you.”
“You two getting back together?” It hurt to see such hope in his face. Dad had always loved Tobias.
“No. We’re not. But we are, uh... having a baby?”
Dad blinked. Probably because I’d said it like a question. His spoon clattered on the table as it slipped from his hand.
“I’m pregnant.” Eeek . “Surprise.”
By the time I made it back to Tobias’s house, I’d felt like I’d run a marathon. As expected, Dad had not been shy about the questions. He also hadn’t been shy to tell me that I’m not sure yet and we’ll figure it out eventually weren’t real answers when it came to an infant.
I parked in the driveway, not the garage, and slipped the opener from the visor. The car wasn’t mine, just a lease. Someone from the relocation company would pick it up from the airport parking lot tomorrow and I didn’t want to forget Tobias’s garage remote.
The snow was falling like white dust as I made my way inside, stomping my shoes on the doormat. The house smelled like Tobias’s cologne. One breath and my shoulders sagged.
I would miss that smell. It was like... home.
Until tomorrow.
Like I’d done countless times, I packed my suitcase and readied it for travel. I made sure I had my passport and a book downloaded to my Kindle. I checked in for my flight and made sure I had my visa documentation handy. Then I retreated to the living room, curling up in the chair closest to the window.
The snow was falling heavier now. The yard was a blanket of smooth white bumps. Beyond the leafless trees, on the other side of Tobias’s property, there was a hill. Not a big hill, but enough that a kid could go sledding on a day like this.
It was peaceful here. How had I not realized that before today? I didn’t miss the city noise. I didn’t miss the traffic or public transportation. I didn’t miss crowded sidewalks or loud neighbors. Tobias hadn’t just built a home, but a sanctuary. His retreat.
Years ago, this house had been a napkin sketch. He probably didn’t realize I remembered the night he’d drawn it out.
We’d been in my apartment, just the two of us, eating Chinese takeout. He’d doodled on a box first in blue pen before getting serious and pulling out a napkin. Four bedrooms. An office. Open concept with tall ceilings and a large kitchen. He’d wanted to live outside of town where he’d have an unobstructed view of the mountains. He’d wanted an abundance of windows so he could catch the sunrises and sunsets.
I loved that I’d been the first to hear about his dream home. I loved that he’d made that dream come true.
Snuggling deeper into the chair’s cushions, I curled my feet into the seat. I imagined a little girl with dark hair and blue eyes giggling as she made snow angels in the yard. Or maybe a little boy trying his best to build a snowman.
“Why hasn’t he asked us to stay?” I whispered, sliding a hand across my belly.
The baby didn’t have an answer.
Neither did I.