Chapter 10
CHAPTER TEN
TOBIAS
I found Eva asleep in the chair. Her lips were slightly parted. Her knees were drawn in tight. One hand cradled her cheek while the other was splayed across her belly.
I’d been standing here for minutes, just watching. Hurting. Because goddamn it, I loved her.
I’d always loved her.
I always would.
And tomorrow, I’d watch her walk away. It was like having my heart broken all over again.
I rubbed a hand over my face, then forced myself out of the living room, retreating to my office. I spent the next three hours trying to think about anything but Eva and the baby, while outside the snow continued to fall, weighing heavy on the ground. Weighing heavy like my heart.
“Hey.”
I looked up from my desk, finding Eva leaning against the doorframe. “Hey.”
“I didn’t realize how tired I was.” She yawned. “Have you been back long? ”
“A few hours.”
Her gaze drifted past my shoulder to the windows. The house lights caught the snowflakes as they fell but beyond them it was dark. “It’s black and white out there. I hope they don’t cancel my flight tomorrow.”
I couldn’t say the same.
“Hungry?” I shoved out of my chair.
“Sure. I can cook.”
“I’ll do it. Keep me company.” I escorted her to the kitchen, my hand at the small of her back.
If she was leaving, I might as well touch her while I could. The next time we saw each other, she might not want my hands on her. Maybe she never would again.
Eva sat at the island, on her stool, while I got to work making a pasta dish. “Sowe should talk.”
“Yeah.” I put a pot of water on the stove to boil. “Probably should.”
“I was thinking—” The chime of her phone cut through the room. “Sorry.”
She slid off her seat and answered. “Hello?”
I took out some vegetables and sausage from the fridge, working and listening as she spoke.
“Shoot.” She sighed. “Well, at least I’ll be there soon. First thing Monday morning, I’ll meet with them, and see if I can’t smooth things out. Forward me their email. I’ll review it on my flight.”
Eva paced the length of the island as she listened, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. Then she nodded. “Talk to you then. Bye.”
“Trouble?” I asked as she returned to her stool.
“That was my boss. The clients for this project aren’t exactly easy to work with. At the moment, they’re frustrated that the build isn’t moving as quickly as they’d like. They just sent a nasty email threatening to bring in their lawyer if we didn’t show some visible progress in the next thirty days. My boss is a great guy, but emails like that send him into a tailspin.”
“No build ever happens as quickly as a client wants.”
“True. But it will be fine. Once I get there, build a rapport and they see some progress, we’ll win them over.”
She would win them over. “Of that, I have no doubt.”
Eva loved a challenge. One semester in college, she’d signed up for twenty-three credits, adding an extra class than normal. It had been a lot of work, but she’d had this determination not to fail. She’d aced them all.
“What’s been your favorite project?” I asked.
“Probably the one in Phoenix.”
I focused on making our meal while she told me stories about her favorite assignments. Then I handed her a plate, taking the space beside her and raising my glass of sparkling grape juice for a toast.
“Cheers.”
She clinked her glass to mine. “Cheers.”
“It’s interesting hearing you talk about your buildings,” I said as we ate. “You love them because of the clients or the foremen. I love mine because of the actual structure.”
“I mean... there’s not a lot to love about boring, boxy buildings. So yeah, usually the ones that stand out are because I like the people.”
“Do you keep in touch with them?”
“Not really. It’s hard after I leave. By the time I actually meet friends, it’s usually close to the time I’m about to go. We drift apart.”
“Sorry.”
She shrugged, swirling her fork in her penne. “It can get lonely. That’s my only complaint. There are days when I feel like I’m on an island. But then I call home and talk to Elena or Dad, and remember that I’ll always have them.”
“And me. You’ll have me.”
Her eyes softened. “Thank you.”
“So... before your call, you were going to say something.”
“Oh, just that I’ve been thinking. Maybe we could pick a long weekend for you to come to London. If you can get away. Once I get there, I’ll find a doctor. We could time the trip with an appointment.”
“Yeah.” It was a totally reasonable idea. Totally fucking reasonable. But it set me on edge, and my fingers gripped my fork too tight.
“And then I can come here. I can make a few trips while it’s still okay for me to travel.”
Until no doctor would let her on an airplane and she’d be half a world away. Who knew when she’d go into labor? Who’d take her to the hospital? Who’d be there to make sure she didn’t lift anything too heavy?
I let go of the fork before I bent the metal and fisted my hand on the island. “But you’ll be here to have the baby. You said your project would be six to eight months, right?”
“Um, maybe? The project might . . . take longer.”
“What?” I clipped. Where the hell had this come from? Why hadn’t she mentioned that earlier this week?
“It could take up to a year.”
I blinked. “A year?”
What happened when she went into labor? What if it happened too fast and I couldn’t make it there in time?
I shoved off my stool, dragging a hand through my hair as I walked around the island. Sitting side by side wasn’t working. I needed to look at her face and make sure I had this right. “So you’re going to have the baby in London. ”
“Given the timing, probably. Yes. I doubt my doctor will want me flying to Montana during my third trimester.”
“Then what? Maternity leave?”
“Depends on the project. I’ll have to talk to my boss. He might want to send someone out to help by that point. But if it’s going well, then I might be able to just work from home. Do occasional site visits.”
“Is it an option? Finding someone else to do this job?”
She sat up straighter. “Maybe. I’d rather not ask.”
“What about finding you a job closer to Montana?”
“Again, I’d rather not ask. I want to do this London project.”
“You won’t ask your boss to assign you to a job in America. But you’ll ask me to fly back and forth, hopefully with enough notice that I can be there for the birth of my child. And then what? You get a new assignment? You pack up and go somewhere else?”
“I don’t know.” She climbed off her stool, pacing on one side of the island while I did the same on the opposite. “I don’t know. Okay? I’m just now wrapping my brain around the fact that I’m growing a human. I haven’t exactly figured out how I’m going to raise him or her yet.”
“You can’t.”
She gasped, her feet stopping. “What?”
“This can’t be the life you want for our child. Traveling all over. Bouncing from school to school.”
“It might not be like that.”
“Then you’ll quit your job?”
“I don’t know.” She tossed up her hands. “Do I have to have the answers today?”
“No, but a goddamn direction would be good. I have to know what you’re thinking. I have to know what you’re going to sacrifice. I have to know that you’re not going to be like your mother.” I regretted it the moment I spoke. Fuck .
Eva gasped. “I can’t believe you just said that to me. Why have all our conversations been about my sacrifices? What about you?”
“Me?” I pointed to my chest. “I have a steady job. I am taking over my father’s company. I have a house. A fucking address. You really think I’m going to give that up? We both know that the right place for this kid to grow up is here. With me.”
Eva’s eyes widened. Her mouth fell open. “What?”
“It makes sense. If you keep your job, then the baby should live here.”
The air in the room went still. The only sound was my racing heart. Eva stared at me and my biggest fear came to life.
There was nothing but disdain in her eyes. Nothing but resentment.
She hated me.
And if there was a piece of my heart left that she hadn’t broken the first time, it shattered in that very moment.
Except I couldn’t even blame her. This one... this one was on me.
“An ultimatum,” she whispered, her eyes flooding. “I can’t believe you just gave me an ultimatum. You know what I wished for earlier? That you’d ask me to stay.”
My heart stopped.
“But you didn’t. Not before. Not now. You’ve never asked me to stay.” And judging by the tone in her voice, now it was too late.
“You broke my fucking heart.”
“Then I guess tonight makes us even.” She swallowed hard. “Happy New Year, Tobias. ”
The sound of her slamming door echoed through the house. I stood frozen, immobilized by the pain.
She hated me.
To be fair, tonight, I sort of hated myself.